| Who We Are
So we've killed you, or you've killed us, or... something... and you want to know more about who we are, what we're doing, and why? Well you've come to the right place. Firstly, who we are is covered below; each member is represented here in pictures and words. No links to profiles though, sorry to disappoint... we're PKers, not ass-hats.
The group started one bored night in October. Having had enough of playing by the rules and it not achieving anything, UnhappyDisgustingWow and CyanEyed discussed the possibility of going rogue. Many lulz ensued as ethos and names were thrown about, and they eventually decided to go with Columbine Kids as it pretty much guaranteed to piss *someone* off. Well, more than killing them would, anyway. They got a little carried away and spent a few days creating the forum and writing what was to become these pages on the wiki. Oh, and getting their first taste of blood. Madwench was immediate to join in, having worked with UnhappyDisgustingWow and CyanEyed on different UD projects. They remained a trio for quite some time, before beginning to recruit others. As well as the recruiting, several people stumbled upon them in-game and 'got' the satire, and (a little unexpectedly, they thought!) wanted to be a part of it.
The group has grown from there, making a mark on PKer groups, Brainstock, and players across the board. The specific members are detailed below. If you want a piece of the action, see our Recruitment Page.
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| CyanEyed
Since the tragedy that was her birth in 1989, she has experienced nothing but pain and despair. All she have ever known is like, abandonment and... stuff.
When she started high school things got even nastier. The kids, even the nerdy ones, bullied her. As she suffered adolescence, mainly by listening to Marilyn Manson and dressing in black, her resentment grew.
One evening she was listening to AntiChrist SuperStar on repeat, and simply decided she'd had enough. She went into school the next day and unleashed all the internal anger. She hasn't stopped since.
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| Unhappydisgustingwow
There's not much to tell you about UnhappyDisgustingWow that he doesn't say himself through his actions.
He is a ruthless killer, with no mercy and no soul, starting his rampage at the tender of age of 4 by murdering his 2 siblings "for the lulz". He was institutionalised but escaped when he was 13 and hasn't looked back since.
Little is known about how evil such as this comes about, but it is widely speculated that him mistaking bleach for milk while feeding the household cat when he was 3 started his fascination with death.
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| Jesus FN Christ
Deuteronomy 19:11
But if any man hate his neighbour,
and lie in wait for him,
and rise up against him,
and smite him mortally that he die,
that man shall then be blessed with a sugary treat."
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| MadWench
Vestibulum augue metus, pulvinar et, ullamcorper eget, scelerisque eget, eros. Donec vulputate, leo in semper gravida, est turpis pharetra sem, sed auctor tellus felis eu mi. Maecenas ac nisl adipiscing nulla pharetra elementum. Nam ultricies lectus sed arcu. Etiam risus nisl, interdum sed, convallis tempor, ullamcorper eu, velit.
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| Rex1986
Driven mad by the outbreak while helping surviors in Havercroft, he left his good ways behind and his group behind as he went searching for 'something more'.
What he found was the Columbine Kids.
Whilst looking for his first victim he stumbled across some graffiti on the wall made by Madwench, linking to their wiki page. He spent days reading up on them, (he's a slow reader) and was instantly hooked, and to this day can be found marching alongside them, filling his thirst for murder.
Motto: I Come, I See, I Kill!!
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| ChaosEnforcer
Blessed are the strong, for they shall possess the earth.
Cursed are the weak, for they shall inherit the yoke!
Blessed are the powerful, for they shall be reverenced among men.
Cursed are the feeble, for they shall be blotted out!
Blessed are the bold, for they shall be masters of the world.
Cursed are the righteously humble, for they shall be trodden under cloven hoofs!
Blessed are the victorious, for victory is the basis of right.
Cursed are the vanquished, for they shall be vassals forever!
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| Gore Corper
Vestibulum augue metus, pulvinar et, ullamcorper eget, scelerisque eget, eros. Donec vulputate, leo in semper gravida, est turpis pharetra sem, sed auctor tellus felis eu mi. Maecenas ac nisl adipiscing nulla pharetra elementum. Nam ultricies lectus sed arcu. Etiam risus nisl, interdum sed, convallis tempor, ullamcorper eu, velit.
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| ShackYosemite
Vestibulum augue metus, pulvinar et, ullamcorper eget, scelerisque eget, eros. Donec vulputate, leo in semper gravida, est turpis pharetra sem, sed auctor tellus felis eu mi. Maecenas ac nisl adipiscing nulla pharetra elementum. Nam ultricies lectus sed arcu. Etiam risus nisl, interdum sed, convallis tempor, ullamcorper eu, velit.
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| Gert Rude
Vestibulum augue metus, pulvinar et, ullamcorper eget, scelerisque eget, eros. Donec vulputate, leo in semper gravida, est turpis pharetra sem, sed auctor tellus felis eu mi. Maecenas ac nisl adipiscing nulla pharetra elementum. Nam ultricies lectus sed arcu. Etiam risus nisl, interdum sed, convallis tempor, ullamcorper eu, velit.
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| Jud Grigori
Vestibulum augue metus, pulvinar et, ullamcorper eget, scelerisque eget, eros. Donec vulputate, leo in semper gravida, est turpis pharetra sem, sed auctor tellus felis eu mi. Maecenas ac nisl adipiscing nulla pharetra elementum. Nam ultricies lectus sed arcu. Etiam risus nisl, interdum sed, convallis tempor, ullamcorper eu, velit.
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| The Night On Fire
You know that it would be untrue.
You know that I would be a liar.
If I was to say to you
Girl, we couldn't get much higher.
Come on baby, light my fire.
Come on baby, light my fire.
Try to set the night on fire.
Try to set the night on fire.
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| trifle195
They're coming to take me away ha ha hee hee to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time...*KZZZT*...all the time *KZZZT*...all the time *KZZZT*...all the time...
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| PsychoKinesis
Vestibulum augue metus, pulvinar et, ullamcorper eget, scelerisque eget, eros. Donec vulputate, leo in semper gravida, est turpis pharetra sem, sed auctor tellus felis eu mi. Maecenas ac nisl adipiscing nulla pharetra elementum. Nam ultricies lectus sed arcu. Etiam risus nisl, interdum sed, convallis tempor, ullamcorper eu, velit.
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| Sarcophilus harrisii
Vestibulum augue metus, pulvinar et, ullamcorper eget, scelerisque eget, eros. Donec vulputate, leo in semper gravida, est turpis pharetra sem, sed auctor tellus felis eu mi. Maecenas ac nisl adipiscing nulla pharetra elementum. Nam ultricies lectus sed arcu. Etiam risus nisl, interdum sed, convallis tempor, ullamcorper eu, velit.
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| Ruslan Aleksey
Vestibulum augue metus, pulvinar et, ullamcorper eget, scelerisque eget, eros. Donec vulputate, leo in semper gravida, est turpis pharetra sem, sed auctor tellus felis eu mi. Maecenas ac nisl adipiscing nulla pharetra elementum. Nam ultricies lectus sed arcu. Etiam risus nisl, interdum sed, convallis tempor, ullamcorper eu, velit.
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| TheStinkyCheeseMan
Vestibulum augue metus, pulvinar et, ullamcorper eget, scelerisque eget, eros. Donec vulputate, leo in semper gravida, est turpis pharetra sem, sed auctor tellus felis eu mi. Maecenas ac nisl adipiscing nulla pharetra elementum. Nam ultricies lectus sed arcu. Etiam risus nisl, interdum sed, convallis tempor, ullamcorper eu, velit.
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| Richt0r
Vestibulum augue metus, pulvinar et, ullamcorper eget, scelerisque eget, eros. Donec vulputate, leo in semper gravida, est turpis pharetra sem, sed auctor tellus felis eu mi. Maecenas ac nisl adipiscing nulla pharetra elementum. Nam ultricies lectus sed arcu. Etiam risus nisl, interdum sed, convallis tempor, ullamcorper eu, velit.
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| Edward Katanahands
A lone, ex-military, killing machine. Although his past remains a mystery, it is rumoured that ninjas killed his family. In revenge he slaughtered 47 ronin, setting out to murder all those who dishonor the way of the warrior. After years of killing trenchcoaters he has amassed enough non-existent weapons and equipment to destroy everything in his path. He smokes his last Lucky Strike, chuckling defiantly from the turret of his M1 Abrams as he passes. Yes, everybody dies.
The way of the warrior is resolute acceptance of death.
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| Your Own Guilt
Guilt is a very powerful and healthy emotion that keeps us honest with ourselves. It is our safeguard for inappropriate behavior. It is very difficult to do the wrong thing when we feel guilty.
So no matter how corrupt your moral sense, how contorted your view of the world, how vapid and inarticulate your ideas, how talentless you, or how exaggerated your grievance, everyone has some guilt. and it will be the death of you.
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| Silvertone
A legend of country, rockabilly and surf rock, Silvertone was born as Chris Isaak in 1956, which meant that attending Columbine High School in 1999 was not as fun as it should have been. Sick of being bullied for his age, he has set down his guitar and taken up a shotgun, nicknaming himself Silvertone after his backing band, and has chosen to wreak revenge on those assholes who taunted him and didn't take him to the prom. No, he had to perform at it instead. You know how many cheerleaders want to sleep with the old man playing "Wicked Game" at the prom? Less than there should be, that's for sure. Marilyn Manson didn't make him do it, by the way, but he definately gave him the thumbs-up.
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