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| ===Top News===
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| The Fortress-wide Chain kill is finished.
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| *139 kills (New Record).
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| *Duration of 95 hours 48 minutes (New Record).
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| *49 challengers (New Record).
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| To sum it up, a New Record!
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| ----
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| [[The Battle of Barhapolis]] ends
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| ----
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| The value of Cheese is now 1.567 Brains
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| ----
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| ''An Anaconda wins 2008 Vigilance Challenge by surviving for over 200 days''
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| |}
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| {| style="width:190px; padding:2px; vertical-align:top; background-color:Honeydew; border:solid 1px #FBB917"
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| |'''A Special Thanks to Our Sponsors'''
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| <br>
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| <center>[[Image:Kilt.jpg|250px]]
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| [[Image:Mczlogo3sv.jpg|250px]]
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| |}
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| <br>
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| {| style="width:190px; padding:2px; vertical-align:top; background-color:Honeydew; border:solid 1px #FBB917"
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| |'''New Job Openings'''
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| <br>
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| The New Kids on The Block are looking for someone with an Age-Reverser, a machine that adjusts vocal chords for singing purposes and is also skilled in choreography. Due to their new album, they would like to not look like old people that can have shadowed dance-doubles and have to lip-sync.
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| |}
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| {| style="width:600px; padding:10px; background-color: #cecad9;" | | | {| style="width:600px; padding:10px; background-color: #cecad9;" | |
| Test|} | | Test|} |