Five Miles Over Chicago/Roster

Just in case this is all moving too fast for you, these are the people in Five Miles Over Chicago.

The Band

Jon Evans

"I don't think you know what Communism means."

Bio: After reading Everything Is Illuminated, he decided one day to set out and change his life forever. For him, that meant doing the exact same stuff, but with FMOC.
Hobbies: Baking, wasting his life on shitty online games

Commander O'Neil

"WOAH, SIT DOWN, YOU'VE LEFT YOUR LEGS BEHIND!"

Bio: This other dude from the DEM, but he was just way too chill for that noise. Was in some French Fail Legion or something but screw that.
Hobbies: I dunno actually, but he probably plays Poker or something

Blitz Krieger

"I killed a zombie! yay!"

Bio: I'm gonna level with you. I don't think this guy knows what he's doing. Whatevs, he's in our group now.
Hobbies: Failing at Urban Dead

Orago2

"i like this game"

Bio: This dude has no idea how this game is played, all he knows is that he is having fun. We're OK with that, because we really needed a new keyboardist.
Hobbies: Being excited, playing as many online games as possible

AgentPapers

"GODDAMN IT LABINE YOU SON OF A BITCH."

Bio: A dude actually from Chicago IRL who is either a brother to or a split personality of this other dude we all know. It's pretty complication.
Hobbies: Hockey

Isaac Conte

"I'm busy, dammit :|"

Bio: On load from The Know Nothings for purposes of our current tour, Isaac Conte is always up for some action as long as it isn't a big time commitment or too action-packed.
Hobbies: Japanese-American cinema, fair trade coffee conferences

Krum Stoimenov

"I have no idea what we are doing, but In a cool way!"

Bio: Originally a "Study abroad" student from Bulgaria, Krum met up with Five Miles Over Chicago at the Occupy Chicago protests. He doesn't really "get" American communism, but he's still cool.
Hobbies: футбол, шашки, понякога класическата литература

Also Featuring...

Riverboat Delirium Project: Stephen Grace

"I was underground before you even knew what the ground was"

Bio: Former FMOC instrumentalist Stephen Grace is now on tour with the group, closing shows with his steampunk Mark Twain concept show.
Hobbies: Communism, student protests

The Byrd Gang: Jack Nippleson

"What are you, Stalin?"

Bio: The Byrd Gang is an underground hip-hop project out of Englewood. Normally a three man show, Jack was the only one legally allowed to leave the United States to tour in Malton.
Hobbies: Withheld at the request of the defence in "Rodriguez and Brown vs. The State of Illinois"

Former Members

Leon Argos

FUCK YEAH I AM TOTALLY IN

Bio: Once upon a time, he was a bent cop. Then he lived in a hospital in Wykewood. Then he did some other stuff. Then he did this, ironically. Now he's off doing something else again, but he will always remember Five Miles Over Chicago fondly.
Hobbies: Not taking bribes anymore!

Captain Barricade

Where are we again?

Bio: Yeah, he slightly forgot to tell me what to put here. Uh... He's Irish. That's cool, I guess. ...Yeah.
Hobbies: I don't really know. I bet he collects stamps.

Ribbijack

"God help me but I'm at Nuth Row."

Bio: This other guy who was in IRC when we were making this group and he's all, "Hey, I like Urban Dead!" and we're all "Aight, you should come roll with us" and he's all, "K".
Hobbies: Being a douchebagAwesome.

ykl

"Damn you labine for getting me looking at UD again..."

Bio: This other dude from the DEM. He's pretty cool even if he refused to play Urban Dead. He's like a member in spirit if nothing else.
Hobbies: Not playing Urban Dead

Denver Randleman

"What are we doing?"

Bio: So we're talking about the group in IRC like always, and Denver is like "Hey we'll join, but we're going to be PKers" but then I'm all ":|" and he's all "Ok then."
Hobbies: Chillin', listening to Johnny Cash

Rambo Pliskin

"..."

Bio: This guy is Denver's friend, I don't even know him. He kind of sounds like a scenester if you ask me but whatever.
Hobbies: PKing, apparently. (Well, formerly.)

Yetiwarrior

"lol, I mustve PKed Commander O'Neil a couple times"

Bio: Always up for some pointless online games, he was quick to join when we told him we were taking a stab at Urban Dead.
Hobbies: Wasting his life on shitty online games

Joe Morris

wat

Bio: So on the second day of this group we were informed that Joe had joined FMOC. Before we could ask him for a profile link of any of that jazz, he's outta IRC and doesn't come back for hours. Torontonians, I swear.
Hobbies: Failing at life.

Goofy mccoy

The objective of the game is to collect the largest pool of idiots into your group and be the biggest douchebag possible, to the most people, for the longest time.

Bio: Another DEM vet (Probably the most sane out of all of them) who joined with a post that began "Oh why the hell not?"
Hobbies: Playing Mafia, verbal bitch-slapping