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In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Malton underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... Mostly Harmless.
Who are those handsome devils?
Mostly Harmless is, simply put, a fraternity of magnificent bastards who have come to Malton to save it from the mundane. We are known to strike nightly, often with the fury of a thousand angry housewives. Some will tell you that we are strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. Others will have you know that we once shanked a man so quickly he did not even realize he was dead. And we'll do it again, often without provocation.
In fact, our strikes tend to be so well orchestrated that in our inaugural mission we were accused of zerging. Rather than get upset by such a ridiculous and fraudulent claim, we instead took it as a compliment and testament to our prowess in coordination. We also took that claim to the Christmas dance. Maybe now we'll get in its pants.
It is rumored that Mostly Harmless is not a group of PKers at all, but rather has every intention to eradicate the city of its zombie plight. However, we have terrible aim. Also, we just don't like a lot of
you.
Misadventures in Misanthropy
Big Ackland, 3 AM
A Tale of History and Romance: A Historical Romance - Mostly Harmless Episode I
It all started in Ackland, as that place has a bad habit of being where these things start. A mall like any other, yet somehow different, The House That Taru Built was a fitting stage for a script that called for murder. Mostly Harmless coalesced in the area from seemingly nowhere, like that creepy fog in B-movies. They then proceeded to killed quite a few people, also like that creepy fog in B-movies. It did not take long for this troupe of film stars to garner great critical acclaim. Alliances were struck, NAPs were attempted and rejected, and in the end some seventeen extras from Ackland Mall Security, the Crimson Clan, and /zom/ were killed on set through the combined efforts of Mostly Harmless and the Malton Bounty Emo Killers. Total casualties for extras throughout the week number somewhere in the forties, although some extras died multiple times. There is no medical reasoning for this, and no charges have been filed by the SGA or MPAA. The film currently has an 87% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite rumors of a connection to Uwe Boll.
Tactical Espionage Action: Marven Gear Solid
Proper Reloading Practices: A Documentary - Mostly Harmless Episode II
After escaping the vile fortress of Ackland Mall, our brave adventurers ventured south to Marven on what the colonel assured us was to be a sneaking mission. We hid in cardboard boxes, reloaded by pressing R2 twice, and slit a guy's throat by accidentally holding Circle too long. Having procured ammunition and weaponry on sight, MOSTHARM then progressed further southward and cleared a quad of Tompson Mall, shanked a guy, then cleared the Cheeke Building. Festivities concluded with a party at Tikhon Prime. We then disappeared as sneakily as we had arrived.
Allegiances
Unlike most groups of this caliber, we do not have an extensive friends and foes list. Instead, our views can be summarized as:
Enemies: The people we shank.
Allies: Sometimes we shank them, too.
Even the allies get in trouble!
On a mildly less psychopathic note, if you see us in your general area, feel free to get in touch with us. Perhaps we can work out an agreement. Whether that agreement involves us cooperating, then falling in love but each being too shy to admit it, only to eventually be torn apart by jealousy before a glorious reunion in marriage amidst flashing cameras, to live together for years and years...wait, that's not a policy, that's a chick flick. Seriously, feel free to get in touch. Whether you want to talk, shoot, shank, or any combination of the above at any variety of targets (each other included), we'll see what we can do.
So you want to join?
I knew this would happen. I warned the guys that if we put up a spectacular wiki page that someone would come along and read it. Then it would only be a matter of time before that someone wanted to join us. Look, it's not you. It's us. We've got our whole future ahead of us, and we just don't have time for commitment right now. But damn you look good in those shorts, so here's what we'll do. If you are a PKer, have a great sense of humor, have the ability to take part in strikes/group shankings, and would like to join us, leave a message on our talk page and we'll set up something more formal. It will probably involve an interview with Panthera or Zombie in Pajamas and embarrassing tasks to perform, but it'll be worth it. I promise.
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