User:Beeng
The Then
As written in ancient Turkish folklore, the Beeng is portrayed as a magestic, noble creature, a defender of the weak and innocent, and executioner to wrong-doers. Tapestry weaves, thought to be over 9000 years old, depict beeng as a grotesque conbination of several normal animals, creating what is known today as a furry.[1]
Whereas no further evidence has been raised to prove or bust this myth, the peoples have decided to settle on the present beeng creature, instead of research an old Turkish myth, because the Turks are all filthy liars anyhow.
The Now
The present day beeng has been sighted numerous times, each a horrific and inhumane event, riddled with insanity, blindness, men tearing their sphincters from their assholes, old porn magazines with the pages stuck together, and always a trail fabricated from copious amounts of durgs.[2]
Despite Beeng's destructive appearances and raucous exploits, he is found to occasionally be an asset to the ongoing drama parade inside Southhall Mansion, appearing from time to time to drop a few Cleveland steamers on some heads, and root out the dramacows from the truefags.
In his truest and most noble form, Beeng will take on the role of the soldier, rising to fight whatever threat looms on the craggly horizon that is his flaccid penis, the thing he peers over to view what he wishes, as he spends the majority of his time lounging nude or scantily clad around the Mansion.
