Clapton Stadium/News Archive
Road to the Euro 2008
February 23rd, 2008 Only feral zombies around. Only real threat is the serious overcading in the suburb.--Irounds 02:02, 23 February 2008 (UTC)
November 20th, 2007 The Second Big Bash came to play, the survivor team suffered a total route as the zombies scored at will. After the game a large group of rioting fans ate the brains of rival fans for many blocks around the stadium. Authorities still have yet to contain the rampaging fans. --DonTickles 20:40, 20 November 2007 (UTC)
October 25th, 2007 Necrotech Mobile will be holding a BYOB (Bring your own beer) Halloween Party on October 30 - November 1. All survivors are welcome to join, and we are sorry to say, but any zombies will only get a bullet as a party gift. So, come join us! -- Necrotech Mobile
October 8th, 2007 Clapton Stadium has come under recent zombie infestation. With the fall of Pole Mall came the subsequent fall of the once great stadium. It lies in ruin, with popcorn, old hotdogs, and dead bodies littering the floors and field. How will the Euro 2008 handle this one? BenderWaW 00:16, 9 October 2007 (BST)
June 7, 2007 Supporters rampaged through the stadium last night, with ten confirmed deaths and a host of rioting. The Commission declared the event a total success, with special commendations going to What's Happened (4Kills), Zumm Zero (3Kills) and newcomer PKworld (1Kill confirmed). Good supporting play from Shiv Jones and a spectacular save off the line by defensive specialist Gondo Gondo rounded off the night's activities. The DEM labeled Clapton's fans the "worst in the world", a claim the delegates strongly refute.
June 6, 2007 22.45 GMT The Malton Euro 2008 Commission is currently in The Younghusband Arms celebrating a 3-0 victory. Euro qualification is a step closer.
June 6, 2007 17.38 GMT Opening ceremony underway, flares are up and reports are coming in of major crowd trouble. The Commission has killed eight suspected Estonian supporters in the stadium, before co-Chairman Zumm Zero got hit by a scooter thrown off the arena's top tier. PKworld beheaded a fellow Commission member in the ensuing pandemonium, which will most certainly make the late night highlight reel.
June 6, 2007 Members of the Malton Euro 2008 Commission have arrived at Clapton Stadium and a pitch inspection is underway. Early reports suggest that key delegates Zumm Zero and What's Happened are pleased with the new stadium, and can't wait for tonight's qualifier.
May 18, 2007 Pole mall and Clapton stadium both are very safe and are strong human strong holds right now.
April 12,2007
Mall Tour '07 zmazhed pole mall nextdoor, this place was in zombie hands in about 3 minutes.
March 18, 2007
Army of the Dead, after beginning its seige, makes its way into Clapton Stadium. The stadium will invariably fall before long to zombie forces.
July 3rd, 2006
The Malton World Cup Committee, despite the match officials being heavily biased towards the zombies and a player sent off for stomping on a zee head, achieved a 4-4 draw after phenomenal performances from What's Happened, Shiv Jones and Zumm Zero. Ev2 played the goalkeeping position, and made some excellent saves despite having an injured arm, including a penalty as time expired to deny the win.
Some team members planned to escape Clapton Stadium at halftime, but the squad chose to carry on with the game and face certain death against overwhelming odds to make a point. In a bold move at full time though, the team managed to escape amidst the confusion caused by the zombie riot on the field. The current whereabouts of the Malton World Cup Committee is unknown, but wherever someone dreams of fighting oppression against insurmountable odds, possibly with a football, rest assured they'll be there.
June 29th, 2006
Football FM is back on the air. Tune in to 26.21 for updates and reports by the Malton World Cup Committee live from Clapton Stadium and Pole Mall.
June 28th, 2006
FIFA has deployed the elite STARS Hooligans unit to Clapton Stadium to assist in crowd control and ensure a smooth game on Saturday. The Malton World Cup Committee welcomes this dedicated unit of soldiers, and is looking forward to kicking some zombie heads round the stadium in celebration of the event.
June 28th, 2006
Speaking today at the Malton World Cup Committee's press conference in Clapton Stadium, holding midfielder Zumm Zero called the football campaign a success so far, and pointed to the teams resolve to win the title. "The boys are rested and are now in deep preperations for Saturday's game. We're facing a tough opponent, and are just putting the finishing touches to our set piece defence, tweeking our formation slightly to accommodate some new players and generally making sure we have all the right tools to progress through to the semi-finals."
Speaking about the spate of injuries suffered since the win, mostly incurred at the post-match party, and the area in general, Zumm commented: "What's Happened has shrugged off his thigh injury and will be 100% for the game, he's already up and running, putting the time in the gym. Gondo Gondo will be a match day decision. As you've probably seen, ev2 and Brando One have been blasting them away on the practice pitch so, yeah, we're feeling really confident. The ground is looking fantastic, the groundsmen have been working on it for about 5 days straight now, and the guys have even been hanging out at Pole Mall for recreation. They're happy because they can walk around it without getting hassled by roudy fans. The competitions really starting to come together for us." There were no Zombies available for comment.
June 26th, 2006
The second stage of the World Cup took place at Clapton Stadium yesterday, with the Malton World Cup Committee moving through to the second stage quite comfortably. Experimenting with a new lone striker formation, holding midfielder Zumm Zero scored the lone goal, while What's Happened played a remarkable game as the lone striker. Ev2 held the defence together nicely while teen sensation Gondo Gondo was held out the lineup with a virus. Slight technical hitches meant the broadcast was shaky at best, but supporters are now eagerly anticipating next weekends quarter-final fixture.
In other news the undeadites explanation for their conduct was rejected by the governing body as the zombies in question were all wearing 'team' uniforms and, if the statement was true, and they had been committed to a fair game, the undeadite would have helped clear the stadium.
June 23rd, 2006
Members of the Malton World Cup Committee laughed off suggestions of unfair play from the Undeadites as they took Clapton Stadium for some light training.
Pointing to the fact that the z-boys regularly tried to field 20+ players despite strict FIFA regulations calling for a maximum of 11, MWCC members dismissed the undeads comments as pure bad sportsmanship. "Quite simply, we divided down the number of confirmed kills per side with the number of players and came up with a fair result," said an official for the tournemant. "As for the horde leaving on its own accord, thats open to debate, but we wish them all the best in their future ransacking endeavours."
Undeadite spokes-zombies point out that most of the 20+ zombies gathered in the stadium were not part of the Undeadite team. Some confusion appears to have arisen. Zombies fear that they must all look alike to survivors. Grumbles of discrimination are heard among the zombie populace who has asked that the survivors now call them the "differently-living" rather than the undead.
June 22nd, 2006
Malton World Cup Committee players are enjoying some down time before the next stage of the World Cup kicks off on Sunday at Clapton Stadium. Fans of the Undeadites have been rioting in the suburbs of Stanbury Village and Buttonville since they were unceremoniously dumped out of the competition in the group stages, blaming everything from betting scandals and refereeing decisions to timetable irregularities. "All we're hearing are unfounded and bitter excuses," said one source close to the MWCC, "but the fact of the matter is that they didn't have the pace, the flare or the experience to compete in such a quality competition."
June 20th, 2006:
Malton World Cup Committee1-0 Undead
The MWCC fielded a mixed side in this token fixture, with Zumm sitting the game out due to a yellow card and ev2 being replaced by Brando One in the side due to a slight calf injury. What's Happened was replaced just after half-time and Shiv Jones was replaced in the 80th minute as the MWCC headed to an uneventful victory.
June 19th, 2006
Players from the Undeadites horde are openly questioning their abilities, while supporters feel that they should not continue to participate due to the humiliating defeats thus far. West Grayside, Clapton Stadium, and Pole Mall laughed a lot and waved their collective genitals in the general direction of the horde as they left.
June 16th, 2006
Malton World Cup Committee win 3-1.
Unbelievable scenes at the stadium last night. Rumours of disharmony in the Undeadites camp were proved founded when the z-boys turned out late for the kick off. Malton World Cup Committee's Strikers What's Happened (3kills) and Shiv Jones (4kills) were rampant the whole match, but the game goes to right winger and newcomer Gondo Gondo, who, despite not having much first team experience, stepped in and scored three clean kills. Central defender Zumm Zero hit one and played an exceptional role in keeping the undead out, while goalkeeper ev2 was untroubled all game, even finding time to conduct in-game interviews. Shiv Jones summed up the game for Soccer FM 26.21 - "We weren't at our best, but we got the win and thats all that counts. We know there's better to come, we know we can play better and its a matter of going back to camp and preparing for Tuesday's game". The captain What's Happened, who was later sighted celebrating in the The Younghusband Arms, hailed Gondo Gondo as the 'future': "What can I say, he's terrific. He's got the whole package; speed, firepower, his defence needs working on but that'll come with experience. Tonight he was in the thick of it and pulled their defence apart. He's the future of this team no doubt." The team is back in camp, resting, before next Tuesday's game, set for 1700GMT, at Clapton Stadium.
June 14th, 2006 Stadiums filling up, the players from the Malton World Cup Committee have arrived in a local hotel and are currently resting before the big game at 1700GMT tomorrow. What's Happened, speaking to Soccer FM after the final training session, commented 'It's going to be a bloodbath', while golden boot candidate, Shiv Jones, sporting new signature shoes was quick to support What's comment: "We're going out to rip some heads off. Coach expects a dominant performance, and the fans deserve no less." The Undeadites were unavailable for comment.
Soccer FM 26.21will be broadcasting the game live from the stadium tomorrow.
+++WHAT'S HAPPENED PRESS RELEASE+++
Having been caught in flagerant violation of the rules What's Happened has issued a full appology to fans.
"I would like to take this opportunity to appologise to my teammates, family and fans who have travelled to see us play. I didn't realise this was in direct violation of FIFA rules and will not participate in rule breaking again, cheating is a very serious matter that I would not knowingly participate in'.
The Malton World Cup Committe has since ruled that although he will not suffer a 1 match ban, his 2 kills will be stricken from the record, thereby declaring the opening game a 3-3 draw. Next match 15.06.06.
June 12th, 2006 Kick-off for the second game has been scheduled for 1700 GMT on June 15. The mighty Malton World Cup Committee (with returning striker What's Happened now clean and a match-fit Gondo Gondo) face off against the hometown 'zamba boys' Undeadites and their legions of followers. Pundits expect a tense, but exciting game after the events of the opening match.
June 9th, 2006 Opening ceremony took place without a hitch, fireworks went up and the tournament is underway!!!! Stands are full and the Malton World Cup Committee celerbated the opening day with a splendid 5-2 victory over the Undeadites zombie horde. Leading scorer and central striker What's Happened hit two (including one in the opening five minutes), central midfielder Shiv Jones hit two and Malton's world defensive player of the year hit a decisive header to round off the win. Players are reported to be pleased with the result, with What's Happened quoted as saying "Great start, their defense was a bit shambolic and their movement at times was a little stiff. I think the opening goal put them on their back foot and we capitalised from there." Zumm said "You know, errm, well it was a great game. We had the upper hand, and, you know, we took it to them. Great opponents, great support and we look forward to our next game later in the week."
June 8th, 2006 The results of the Malton World Cup Committee's medical scans are in and the prognosis is good. Our players are now over 300% ready for the opening game, and practicing our celebration dance move, dubbed 'The Zombie' (see pic). Reports from inside the tournament favourite and main rival Undeadites camp are that a number of the players are injured following pre-tournament celebrations. Its coming home.
June 5, 2006 The stadium is still full of zombies who are having a hell of a time, whooping it up, pissing in the bleachers, and generally being rowdy. Who can blame them? They are celebrating the fall of Pole Mall.
June 3, 2006 Stadium filled with zeds warming up for a game.
June 2, 2006 As of now, the stadium is empty, and lightly barricaded, but the place is still wrecked from the hooligans who broke in and had a party. Zizanie13 16:19, 2 June 2006 (BST)
June 1, 2006 Clapton Stadium is ransacked and empty except for a couple of zombies. Does this mean that the soccer match has been cancelled? Zizanie13 16:16, 2 June 2006 (BST)
May 26, 2006 Barhah has come to Clapton Stadium. Ferals and a few Undeadites burst into the stadium exterminating the harman presence. They have their own game of football with a few heads. --ZombieMcAllen
May 25, 2006 Three days in Clapton Stadium without much trouble. Barricades are holding and Zed activity is starting to thin out and Pole Mall is usable. –Malton World Cup Committee
May 22, 2006 Game of two halves. The Malton World Cup Committee has retaken the stadium, rebarricaded and are having a knock around on the pitch as we speak. The Younghusband Arms is also safe and barricaded for drinkers, and the nearby Pole Mall is currently under siege, but looking good.
May 21, 2006 - Due to unfortunate, but not unforseen, construction issues, Clapton Stadium had to be evacuated, and a subsequent local venue found for pre-World Cup preperations. Preperations will be proceeding as normal and assurances are in place that the stadium will be re-occupied early in the week. Local developments such as Pole Mall are being held nicely.
May 19, 2006 - With 21 days to go, training is underway, the stadium has been finished and the pitch laid. Despite a couple of random hooligan incidents (where the offending parties were forcibly removed from the stadium), and 5 zombies queuing outside for tickets (We operate a strict no ticket, no entry policy — only people with official tournament tickets, with the 'free running' logo printed on them, will be allowed inside), we are currently organizing 2 friendly matches to warm us up for the World Cup proper.
The dates are:
- Tuesday 30th May, 2006
- Saturday 3rd June, 2006
Opponents are yet to be announced, but we strongly suspect the zombies occupying Pole Mall will be our first opponents on 30th May. The aim of the friendly is to pick a square occupied by a reasonable amount of zombies (probably determined the day before and communicated to all), attack and destroy said zombies during the day using all arrays of skills and abilities. Anything less than total annihilation will be deemed a loss. Remember this is a friendly so play fair, make sure you remain injury free and remember to shake hands and swap shirts afterwards. Please post kills (goals) and any other information - assists, tackles, revives - on our site, which will go towards us selecting the all-tournament squad.
——Urgent——
For any group wishing to participate in the Malton World Cup competition, entry is now open. To register please maltonworldcup@hotmail.co.uk The deadline for entry is 1st June. The competition will comprise of a group stage, followed by a knock out phase. Full rules and regulations will be emailed once numbers are determined.
One team will have the honour of being Malton World Cup winners!
Any single players looking to join in please drop us a line and we will find an appropriate team (assuming your great great grandmother has 1/100th of that nationality in her anscestory).
16 May, 2006 Preperations are underway, Malton's only soccer stadium is currently being prepared for the World Cup. Renovation works have just finished in the stands and the the Younghusband Arms is undergoing a refit as we speak. Pole Mall is starting to look good and a large number of fans are already congregating.
