User:Mr Watt

I'm not crazy. I just have refined tastes.

• Leader of PHOBIA
• Bringer of Death

Mr Watt: A brief interview.

Interviewer: Ivanna Threesum of the Malton Channel 5 News team

Interviewee: Mr Watt Leader of the Psychopathic group PHOBIA

IT:So Mr Watt, thank you for this opportunity to pick your brain.

MW: Truely Ivanna, it is my pleasure. Perhaps we can make the opportunity reciprical.

IT: *laughs nervously* Yes, well lets begin. When did you arrive in malton?

MW: Oh Ivanna, I've been here since the quarantine was put into effect. Though I must say that I have no recollection of anything before one oh four AM of January 26th in 2008. Strange isnt it? I mean how do you suppose that is? That I can just......Lose a whole period of my consious life like that?

It: I don't know, there are no memories at all?

MW: Of course you don't know Ivanna. How could your simple little mind grasp it if I myself can't? Let us continue with the interview. Time is fleeting and I dont wish to waste much more with this chat we're having.

IT: Of course, then lets move on to something more interesting. Why have you decided to People Kill when you could be helping survivors cope with the zombie threat?

MW: *He laughs, though his face stays eirily expressionless* We live in a world that most people dont seem to grasp the true implications of. We are nearer to gods than those puny sons of bitches that have sealed us in this city. You see, we cant die. Not really. If we get shot, or stabbed, machetted and strangled to the point that our hearts stop and our brains dont function and we seem to be in our antiquated perceptions to be dead. But, Ivanna, what happens then?

• Looks for a moment into Ivannas face

Why, we stand up. Dead? No, just on a different plain of existance, and we stay on this plain that is now called a zombie until someone comes along and sticks a needle in us and we fall back to the ground to rise again as living persons with all of the memories and faculties that we started with.

IT: Yes, I see. But that doesnt answer the question.

MW: Thats because, you dumb bitch, you were most rude in interupting me.

IT: *Shifts uncomfortably* I appologize. Please continue.

MW: As I was saying, we cannot really die anymore. But what we can do is embrace the true gift that we have been given. You see, before the outbreak if I was shot in the chest a few times I would die very soon and the most powerful experience of my life would be the last experience of my life. Not now. Now the experience can be felt over and over again. The beautiful pain and blood and screams can be recycled endlessly. do you see it?

IT: Hmm, yes. I understand what you mean, but why not help others to experience the joyful side of life? Why must it be about pain and suffering?

MW: Joy is overrated. It is a figment of the imagination. Something our subconsious has dreamed up to release a few chemicals in our heads. No, joy has no real hold over us when we see past the self induced ruse of it. Physical and psychological torment are so much more real. think about it. If you know that a very attractive man was going to fuck you tonight and fulfill you completely sexually, but then he was going to split your stomach open with a serrated kitchen knife, which act are you going to spend more time in anticipation of?

IT: Yes I see. So you get a kind of pleasure from people killing.

MW: No. You dont see it. Your so concerned with pleasure and joy that you refuse to comprehend that I do not require those particular emotions. What I get from a kill is not joy. Maybe a kind of.........satisfaction. Consider the farmer that finishes digging the irrigation ditch through a rocky stretch of ground; is he filled with joy? Or satisfied that he has done his work?

IT: But isnt his satisfaction from bringing life nurishing water rather than death?

MW: Like Arthur Schopenhauer said, "There is not a grain of dust, not an atom that can become nothing, yet man believes that death is the annhilation of his being." And isn't that more true now than ever before? I do not extengish the flame of existance, I merely dim it temporarily in order to add to its brilliance. Let me demonstrate.

• Mr Watt lunges from his chair and plunges a very large bowie knife into Ivanna Threesums throat. Her eyes breifly widen in panic as air gurgles out the crude gash. After a few moments of involuntary thrashing she becomes still.

Ivanna comes to slowly, still sitting in her chair with Mr Watt standing over her, a syringe in his steady hand. As she shifts she becomes aware that she is bound to the chair.

MW: Do you see now? The magnificence of the gift we have been given. The experience that I just shared with you can not have happened before the outbreak. You were able to briefly see what you should only have had the priveledge to experience once. But now, oh now, you can have it over and over. And you will.

• It should be noted that this transcript was found several months after the disappearance of Ivanna Threesum. Though no other trace of her has been found since she went missing it is widely believed that Mr Watt, the last person she is known to have been with, still has her held captive somewhere in the city of Malton where he continues to kill and revive her. Over and Over again.