No Escape
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| No Escape | |
| Abbreviation: | NAH AZGHA!B |
| Group Numbers: | 41, and growing faster than our foes! |
| Leadership: | Communal |
| Goals: | To feed on the followers of Escape and everyone else who hangs around there |
| Recruitment Policy: | Eat harmanz in and around Ellicott and you're in. Wearing the tag is a nice plus, though. |
| Contact: | Talk page |
Who are we?
We're a collective of like minded zombies who want some fun and a free meal. This is not a group, it is a movement that believes silly harmanz are tasty.
Where:
Hundreds of silly harmanz are going to Ellicott Place Railway Station in Owsleybank on June 1. They believe that they can escape Malton, when we all know that the only escape is death; Sweet, sweet death. They intend to use the adjacent NT, The Woodborne Building to supply revivification services to the undead who want to leave, the Waller Auto Repair as their immediate source of fuel cans and St. Daniel's Hospital two blocks away as their source for FAKS. Those with Brain and Flesh Rot are being encouraged to head into Woodborne itself for rot revive services. They ask "What on earth are they going to do to stop us? Kill us?" Why yes, that's exactly what is going to happen. We're going to eat them.
| The Feeding Zone - Owsleybank
Here is where the foolish harmanz will be waiting to be eaten. |
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Ellicott Place Railway Station |
What to expect while you're dining:
Lots of trenchiness, headshots and scared harmanz saying and doing stupid things.
Why do this?
Because it's another stupid harman idea, but being compassionate we will give them the escape they so desperately seek. If the foolish harmanz want to escape they can simply choose not stand up ever again after we eat them. If they are smart they will see the light and join us if they stand.
On a serious (or seriously fun) note, it's been a long time since we have had a really epic and historical battle to the undeath with the harmanz. You need only look at the stats to see how unbalanced things are right now, with the survivor:zombie ratio being 63:37. We need some excitement and a way to unite our numbers. And eating all these silly harmanz may even alter the stats.
We must cure the UD Depression - see below!
Depression Rampant in Survivor Community
(Words by Marina)
Suicide pacts increasing as thousands lose hope; public-spirited zombie groups offer free counseling
After nearly five years of quarantine, Malton survivors are coming to understand that not only is no permanent cure for zombification forthcoming, but that the government and outside organizations have truly abandoned them to their fate. Unsurprisingly, this traumatic realization is causing depression and delusions in thousands of survivors, and many of them have been gathering in Owsleybank to appeal to a higher power.
The movement's leaders pattern their actions on the famous zombie strike of 2005, but in contrast, the goals of this movement are unclear at best. Do they wish for a sort of rapture for all survivors, abandoning Malton to its zombified residents? Do they expect to be released into society, leaving other survivors behind? Do they believe that enough agitation on their part will prompt the government to finally destroy both survivor and zombie alike? Those who believe in a higher power refuse to answer, saying only that they leave Malton's fate in his hands. Many do not even believe in the mercy of this higher power, yet they gather, wondering what will happen next.
Some survivors have gone so far as to propose mass suicide, should appeals to this higher power not produce the (as yet unknown) desired effects. Although some scoff at this method, seeing death as only temporary in this environment, these survivors insist that they would resist the temptation to ever stand up again. It is unknown how many of those advocating mass suicide are zealots for the cause, wholeheartedly prepared for permanent death, and how many of them are simply being pressured into agreeing to jump to bolster the emotional appeal to the higher power. Many worry that the weakened mental state of many depressed survivors is a contributing factor to the proposed suicide pact, and urge survivors to treat their depression instead of throwing away their lives. After all, it's a well-documented fact that the survivor lifestyle is incredibly taxing, and even for the strongest survivors, the stress of day-to-day life in Malton is so punishing that, combined with the near total lack of Vitamin D (easily remedied by exposure to sunshine) depression is a natural, even an expected reaction.
Leading zombie groups such as the MOB, RRF, Minions of the Apocalypse, Feral Undead and No Escape have gathered in the area and are committed not only to helping to treat the depression of any new recruits, but also to providing those truly determined to follow through with their suicide pacts with a complimentary early execution of their plans. We provide trained postmortem-adjustment counselors, skilled in integrating former survivors into the zambah community, and our brothers and sisters excel in helping others find companionship, dinner and BARHAH.
Survivors of Malton, there's no reason to throw your life away. Cast it away instead, and join us in BARHAH!
The Survivor Depression Checklist
Do you exhibit signs of depression? If you answer yes to one or more of these questions, please seek treatment immediately. MOB counselors are waiting outside your safehouse to help change your life and bring you to BARHAH.
I feel unhappy all the time (yes/no)
I feel hopeless or powerless (yes/no)
I'm stuck passively waiting for a higher power to change my life (yes/no)
I just can't take the idea of searching for another round of ammo or sharpening my katana again (yes/no)
I don't feel the camaraderie with my friends that I used to (yes/no)
I feel like I just can't win (yes/no)
I feel crushingly lonely (yes/no)
I don't have the motivation even to put up barricades anymore (yes/no)
I avoid duties like checking the revive points and healing others (yes/no)
I don't even feel satisfied by making a perfect headshot (yes/no)
I feel tired all the time (yes/no)
I spend my time with fruitless busywork like smashing bottles (yes/no)
I can't take yet another can of beans (yes/no)
I worry about what the repeated revives are doing to my system (yes/no)
I have suicidal thoughts (yes/no)
No really, that ledge looks like my best friend (yes/no)
Or I could just walk right into the horde (yes/no)
I have a plan for harming myself (yes/no)
I'm being influenced by my friends' suicidal talk (yes/no)
I would be happier if it was all over (yes/no)
This checklist is intended only for the purpose of convincing you to seek comfort in the welcoming arms of the MOB, and is not designed to provide a diagnosis or treatment.
The Serenity Prayer, Malton Edition
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to jump off that ledge; and the wisdom to find BARHAH!
Want to Join?
Take our quick, one-question quiz:
1. Do you (your zambah character) wish to eat stupid but tasty harmanz?
If the answer is yes, please do the following:
- Either change your group affiliation to No Escape or
- Indicate your zombie group's interest on the discussion page and
- Shamble your way to Ellicott Railway Station ASAP!
- Feel free to add the template below to your user or group page
The Second Of June (or, "Operation Lemmings")
If When absolutely nothing happens on June 1 the harmanz plan a mass lemming-like plunge to the death. Do not let this happen. Just because their brainz are the size of lemmings does not mean they have to die like them. My zambah brethren, we must save the harmanz from their own folly, this is a waste of food!
Escape Route
Maybe we're just soft hearted zambahz, but for those who really want to escape, we have drawn out a safe, reliable escape route:
Current Target:
The appetizer: Woodborne Building NT [0, 44] is now ruined, well done!
The main Course: Ellicott Place Railway Station [0, 45]has been liberated by zombahz!
Dessert: Waller Auto Repair [0, 46]
Dalgliesh Cinema [2, 45] Is now open!
Serving up 34 tasty brainz! Eat the breathers!
- Note: If you need to recharge your AP, you should do it in the Ellicott Place Railway Station and Woodborne NT - Keep them from being recaptured before June 2!
Template
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No Escape |
| This user ate escaping harmanz. |
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