Talk:The Malton Globetrotters

For The Fans

Let me get serious for a second here and tell you why YOU should be rooting for the Malton Globetrotters.

First of all, the average everyday citizen of Malton will never fear a pickup game against the Globetrotters. We're not interested in cross-checking spectators or picking fights with concession stand vendors. We're here to play play against other TEAMS in Malton. If you are on a team, you're pretty much fair game, but we're pretty picky about who we play, when, and where.

Aside from teams, there are a few singular individuals with whom we will hone our skills. These are the sorts of people that would carry and wear a giant foam finger with #1 Bowring Blackwatch on them or dress up as team mascots for teams that don't exist (furries). Futhermore, the Globetrotters do NOT tolerate negative publicity, and posting slanderous data about the team on the internet will earn you a SNITCH title. If you don't know, snitches invariably get stitches.

So, to you, average Larry Loadshotgun and Sally Sipsbeer, root for the home team, cause we're taking the title this year and we will not be stopped. SNACK STRONG MALTON!
#34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

• I'd like to add that the Globetrotters are available for exhibition games! We're more than happy to serve our fans with a FREE (yes, FREE!!) show at any gathering! No matter if it's a wedding or a funeral, a baby shower or your sons 21st birthday, The Malton Globetrotters are sure to turn any event into an extravaganza! --#63 - NGE^TMG 23:20, 13 May 2008 (BST)

• Without the fans the game is meaningless! Our theatrical entrance does involve some pyrotechnics, but no one has lost an eye yet!--#19 - DrPain ^TMG 02:25, 15 May 2008 (BST)

• We will need the venue to accept our rider and provide pre- and post- game towels. There is also a waiver and a standard deal with the devil soul exchange contract.

• Substitution of players is allowed so don't be disappointed if your favorite player can't make the game. -- #99 ^{DCC SNACK STRONG} 09:08, 27 May 2008 (BST)

IRS

This is the home of the THE SPICY SWEET CHILI DORITO'S IRS/Globetrotters Non-Aggression Pact. (Sponsored by Old Spice) -- #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

Sponsors

I've been talking to reps from Red Bull and Ford. I told them "Add a 1 and two zeros to that offer and get back to me." Anyone else negotiating new sponsors? - RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS! ^TM --דקק #99 05:02, 28 April 2008 (BST)

I just wanted to let you all in on some very exciting news. After some tough negotiations (can you guys say 15% Off Sizzler coupons?!), I secured a sponsorship with Old Spice. Old Spice, with Clinically Proven Odor and Wetness Protection, will help keep us strong on the court without smelling strong. Whether it's the big game, or after hours trying to score some 'post-RP wedding Bride's Maid' poonani, Old Spice will be there to knee odor in the groin and kick sand its smelly face while laughing derisively. Take that odor. -- #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

Good news Globetrotters fans! DrPain has secured for us an EXCLUSIVE sponsorship from Drano(TM)! No matter how much bacon grease has built up in your sink, or how full of hair your shower's drain is, you can be guaranteed that Drano(TM) will knock it out just like the 'trotters going for that all important murderdown! #42 - Shambles_Rottengut ^TMG

The VZW Salutes You!

Congratulations on making Malton's first Human/Zombie wedding a very exciting event indeed. Its not everyday you get to watch a Muderball game up close! Thanks for the front row seats, and each member of your team that showed up is entitled to a special wedding reception template. --Shazzelim 22:16, 30 April 2008 (BST)

	I was there!!!
	This user attended the first Human to Zombie wedding between Morg and Feely at St. Ethelbert's Church on 04/29/08

• No, thank you! That was truly a special day for us. Glad we could lend some excitement! --#63 - NGE^TMG 00:14, 1 May 2008 (BST)
• We want to thank God and white Jesus for this victory! You guys are awesome, Man! Thanks! They will be sent the game winning shotgun shell casing. RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS^tm--דקק#99 02:29, 1 May 2008 (BST)
• Apologies to gonnascoutyougud for his second serving. Our intent was to only tag people once each. If he needs a revive, let us know and someone will come take care of it ASAP. --Shazzelim 13:11, 7 May 2008 (BST)
  • Also, I was wondering what criteria there is to join the league with our own team and what the rules are. --Shazzelim 13:11, 7 May 2008 (BST)
    • The league is open to anyone who can field a team of 2^{^x} players. The rules are as follows:
      • General
        • Do not talk about Murderball
        • Nevermind, Murderball's a public sport!
        • There is a penalty for showing up without proper padding
        • If you can wield a sharp stick, you can play Murderball
        • Do you have stairs in your house?
          • If yes: GET OUT
          • If no: GET OUT
      • Offensive Teams
        • Two Murderplays in a Murderdown
        • Six Murderdowns in a Murderquarter
        • Twenty three Murderseconds in a Murderminute
        • FUCK YOUR METRIC SYSTEM
        • It's offensive teams, you trash talk or you're outta the game
        • Tight end must be checked by a licensed physician before every game
      • Defensive Teams
        • Shut up and take it like a man
      • Special Teams
        • You're not special; your mother lied to you
        • The kicker is special though, we've got the papers to prove it
      • Exhibition Games
        • Every 3rd Thursday you must play naked. (Padding OK)
      • Special Leagues
        • Are full of retards - Laugh at them!
      • Murderball is filmed before a live studio audience.
      • Murderball Games may be televised. Please refrain from scratching yourself in public unless you are on camera.

Hope this clears things up for you!* --#63 - NGE^TMG 23:04, 7 May 2008 (BST) ^{*Rules and regulations are subject to the whim of the Murderball coaches board, the Murderball League of Gentlemen, and a single African butterfly.}

• If you think that you can play in the same league with us, you're sorely mistaken, WE HAVE THEM DOPE BEATS!
  --#19 - DrPain ^TMG 23:27, 8 May 2008 (BST)
  • Aww shit that's my JAM right there! I am fucking AMPED NOW! #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

PK'd (a.k.a. DRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMA(lol niggers)DRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMA)

Just wanted to let you know I was PK'd by a member of your organization. http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e89/Rogue8105/ouch.jpg http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e89/Rogue8105/ouch2.jpg Thanks for your time --BoSS 10:36, 13 May 2008 (EST)

You're welcome! But don't forget to thank our sponsors. The Globetrotters exhibition games are bringing excitement to every corner of Malton. Have you caught the fever? #31 - TastyNougat ^TMG 17:47, 14 May 2008 (BST)

I was under the impression that you only killed individuals participating in one of your exhibitions. What have I missed? BoSS

Take a lap, nancy! #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

Destruction is coming.

A member of your organization (if you call it that) recently killed a member of Creedy Guerrilla Raiders (me). I assure you that it is not taken lightly and every single member of your group will be killed on site by all members of the CGR. We will not on most occasions hunt you, so hide if you feel the desire to, but I assure you, you will most likely be wiped out. Enjoy your days because, they are numbered. -- •הבוס• ♥ ^CGR 00:11, 5 September 2012 (BST)

Haha holy shit you tell em son! --Karloth Vois ^¯\(°_o)/¯ 00:50, 5 September 2012 (BST)

I also intend to show them. They have no organization, they fight for no cause, they just kill random ass people and impersonate other groups, more of a pest like a mosquito than a real threat to anyone haha.-- •הבוס• ♥ ^CGR 01:40, 5 September 2012 (BST)

I want to apologize with regards to the treatment you may have received at the hands of the Malton Globetrotters. Wait, no I don't - if you're going to hype yourself as a PKing uber-badass, you can't complain when someone actually kills you!. We're quaking in our boots at your "threat", so I invite you to try your luck again. --Sniper4625 06:14, 10 October 2012 (BST)

P.S. We're still around and it's been over a month, so I guess this is another example of a scared trenchcoater making big threats that have no basis in reality.