IRS
| IRS | |
 | |
| Abbreviation: | IRS |
| Group Numbers: | Plenty |
| Leadership: | Happy |
| Goals: | Kill everyone |
| Recruitment Policy: | Depends... |
| Contact: | Forum |
What we're about
Why are we here?
Well, Malton has been eating up government money and we really need everyone to just die. Nobody has homes! Homeless don't pay taxes. They steal and dig through our trash. >:( So, we have to do some dirty work. Killing the homeless of Malton helps out government... and if you're not for us, you're against us, you crazy hobos!
Now, you may be thinking.
"But big corporate guy, you don't live in a home.Aren't you homeless?"
Of coarse not!
For one thing, we don't need sleep or "families".
So we don't need homes.We inject our workers with an "Industry Serum" that helps our workers work without food or water!(They also focus better.)
Hey, I wanna join, tell me how
Three simple rules apply to joining the IRS. okay, you ready?
Here ya go:
1. You have to be either a PKer, or a zombie.
2. You need an everlasting hate for the homeless of Malton.
3. Worship our AEC.
Simple.
We don't care if you're in a group. We encourage people from other groups to come in and kill some homeless with us.
We have two positions you can apply for.
The first one has full benefits and dental.
They're a bit difficult to join to say the least.
You're IRS passage of rights can only be acquired once you have presented yourself to our forums.
These workers are our elite, tax collecting, homeless beating, drones from the very pits of hell.
You must dedicate an alt to join these spiffy coworkers.
They get access to our secret meetings and forum area...
(Keep reading for other group...)
But, I'm already in a group :'(
The other is for club members.
Not as good as our elite, but still better than getting shot in the head for sleeping in the street.
You get access to group events that are unavailable to our homeless population.
You can be in a group, and you get a really cool card.
 |
This user loves his job! |
| This user is somehow an IRS Member. Don't be homeless, join IRS! |
"Survivor Groups"
So,
We've been looking around, and it seem like all the homeless have been working in numbers.
couple hundreds actually.
This is bad.
Most of them are on some kind of drug that makes them think they're police, or even in some kind of militia.
All shooting each other up at "RP"s
We've come to the conclusion that this drug actually revives the zombies into more hobos!
We've modified these drugs so we don't get the mass illusions or psycho active effects.
Now they're killing us!
It was bound to happen.
They've found lots of guns too.
All chanting shit like "Stop PKing me, bastards!"
If you don't like it, get a job!
Screw you and your acronyms too!
Zombies
You may be asking, "What about all them zombies in Malton?"
well.
We gotta admit that our first attempts at making a "Industry Serum" went kinda wrong.
Our NecroTech scientists were all trying to find a way to create better workroom effectiveness.
Testing the product on many animals and willing Homeless.
The product made the subjects...
Less effective than hopped.
Later on, we erm...Collected some "willing" homeless to try out a newer version.
This didn't turn out well.
Many of my Necrotech workers became very stupid and started saying weird things.
One came at me screaming "BRA!NZ!"
I eventually had to beat off the brainless scientists with my work chair.
God, I loved that chair.
After I escaped, I sent a rogue team into the building to eliminate the stupid assholes.
One testy escaped.
History
Date: May 13-19, 2008
Date: Vinetown
We established many Alliance connections.
Date: May 12, 2008
In: Gulsonside
We participated in another DORIS event.
Date: April 11, 2008
In: Locketside
We participated in an event with DORIS.
Conspiracy theories
Zombie Conspiracy~
"Under many documents, the IRS has been linked to many homeless disappearing."
Says one homeless guy that claims he's 'not homeless'.
"They also have some hidden documents that connect to the creation of a zombie virus."
Says the same homeless guy.
"Can I have those fries now?"
Of course, this is all untrue...
Ghost Town Conspiracy~
"Ever wounder who actually goes into the ghost towns of Malton?",
says a random, crazy hobo.
"They steal our bacon and haunt the ghost towns!
BEWARE!"
"The Burbs go bankrupt, it's just a cover up for what's really happening!"
This also... untrue...
Last Christmas Tree conspiracy~
Some might say that the IRS lied about the last Christmas tree so they will waste their AP searching for it...Well, keep looking! Because it's there. I'm not kidding! It's just really well hidden.
Neckerchief Conspiracy~
This was rather odd when it was even brought up! The idea is, that we're trying to clear the streets of malton of homeless, because we want to run around naked with only our "Fancy neckerchiefs"! My Business is my business homeless stalkers! You're going to need to stop looking through my windows! Don't you even think for a second that I'll give up my Hot pink neckerchief!
Zombie glue Conspiracy~
Supposedly, we gave the zombies glue blood. And to top that off, we killed the zombies in the banks so that we could glue all the money onto the floor making everyone broke. Better said by Pot Head Dan, "the zombies blood forms a super esque glue similar to super glue that bonds all the money to the banks floors." Keep killing in banks people!
What do the homeless say?
"I used to spend most of my time searching in the gutters and dumpsters...Now I'm dead..."--Zaphord 01:35, 4 April 2008 (BST)
"I saw them take Andy. One minute he was there and the next the government swooped him up. A week later there was a new MacDonald's on the corner.... you think that was a coincidence??" -Unknown
"So far, dying has been my only working method to avoid taxes. I got Rot to escape the IRS! Don't follow my example!" Tarman2007 05:12, 12 May 2008 (BST)
"In life, only two things are certain: Death and Taxes." Ioncannon11 06:22, 12 May 2008 (BST)
News/locations
Date: June 5, 2008
In: Everywhere
So... We're lost! But, in all the confusion, we're hosting the first annual Boxing Championship!
Date: May 22, 2008
In: Pimbank
We've put Pimbank under a deep mind controlled state. We're expecting revolts and will deal with them properly. Pimbank Must Obey!
Date: May 19, 2008
In: Somewhere
The IRS and The Malton Globetrotters have made a A SPICY SWEET CHILI DORITO'S Non-Aggression Pact!
