Lexicon:Defense
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The following is part of a transcript from a military tribunal, investigating the siege of C--- Mall.
... The investigator, Lt. Daniel Kaffee, appeared to doubt Pfc. L. Downey's testimony.
KAFFEE: "So let me get this straight; you 'burst out of the mall with guns-a-blazing, mowing down zeds left and right in an awesome blaze of awesome butt-kicking wave of awesomeness'?"
DOWNEY: "Damn straight, man! We were like-"
KAFFEE: "You will refer to me as 'sir', private."
DOWNEY: "Yes 'sir'. Anyways, me and 'deadzed9001' went outside and showed a few of those stupid zombies our guns, and ran back in and made fun of the wimpy medics."
KAFFEE: I... see. Officer Santiago, will you please explain what occurred at the mall.
SANTIAGO: "My precinct was patrolling the suburb of Ch--- when we received a call over the radio that the mall was under attack. We moved to the area, and split up the unit, monitoring the four quadrants and nearby NT facility. We were on constant contact with each other over our comms, making sure to alert each other of breaches. We also had a few run-ins with psychotic murderers and even a death cult, but we managed to hold out. The trick is to save your ammo, wait until the zombies break-in, then shoot 'em and kick them back out before they recover. It's a lot better than those idiots who waste their ammo out-"
DOWNEY: "You lie!"
Note: at this point, Pfc Downey throws a bottle of Code Red Mountain Dew at Officer Santiago. Downey is eventually restrained and ejected from the hearing, but not before he inflicts serious injury on Officer Santiago's pride. Santiago refuses to continue his testimony.
KAFFEE: "I don't get paid enough fo- Don't write this down you idiot! Do you want to be court marshaled?! Anyways, Dr. Busch, what did you do during the siege:"
BUSCH: Please, please, call me Francis. I was just tending to y research when I noticed a large group of vam... zombies outside the building. I thought they wanted revives, so I threw a few syringes at them. Unfortunately, they stood back up, shouted "Barbara!" or something like that, and shot me. I was not hurt. It is good thing I am... how do you say, "Indestructible"? My friend William began shouting something about assembling in the safe house, and he pulled me over to the next building.
KAFFEE: "So they took the Necrotech."
BUSCH: "That is what all the cops started shouting once they found out, so I suppose, err... Yes. But not for long. The cops struck back quickly, and retook the building. But... The nasty zombies had destroyed all my research! I was so close to discovering the key to Freudian complexes in necrotic individuals regarding the occurrence of severe narcolepsy! Oh, the horr-"
Note: Pfc Downey breaks back into the room at this point, being chased by several MPs. He begins walking over to the court reporter, draws back a punch, and ':?imyrjkyjh
The transcript ends here. Apparently the reporter had suddenly gotten very tired and fell asleep on his keyboard.
--~ Red Hawk One Talk | space for lease 02:55, 29 October 2009 (UTC)
Citations: Indestructible --RosslessnessWant a Location Image? 09:44, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
