User:Weezerde
MAGGOTS! THIS IS WAR!
Thoughts of the Pistol
This weapon is not to be underestimated. Any MAGGOT-KILLING solider such as myself uses one of these fire arms to pick off the infected horde that has taken over Malton! GOD BLESS AMERICA! There's six shots in this pal, and ten thousand zombies are knocking at your doorstep. YOU'D BETTER MAKE THEM WISH THEY'D NEVER SET A FOOT ON THIS EARTH!
Thoughts of the Shotgun
This hunk of glory gives a new meaning to pumping iron. You've got yourself a bunch of RAVAGING INFECTED ZOMBIES, and all you have to do is pull the trigger. BY GOD! This is a real man's gun! Firing shells that shred dead meat into even smaller bits of dead meat has never done America any harm!
Thoughts of the Fire Axe
When you're stuck in on the streets, and your guns are out, you'd better have a way of defending yourself. With eight pounds of steel at your hands, I order every single one of you to run around the streets SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS while wildly flailing that flesh gouging axe above your head!
Thoughts of Every other Melee Weapon
-Sigh- Back in my day, real men fought with real weapons! But you adolescent youngsters of today go around poking the enemy with Cricket Bats and Pool Cues! IT'S THE MIDDLE OF WAR, and we can't let those freak-bags take over the world, while everyone else is smacking zombies with a pair of Ski Poles they got from their garage! And tennis rackets? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START!
Thoughts of Player Killers
God Damn...
Thoughts of Zombies
Every time I think of one of these brain-munching, undead moonwalkers, I think of NAZIS! Back in 1942, I killed Nazi's in the great war, and I ENJOYED it! Back when Malton was just being overrun, I remember going to my great-great-great-great grandson's fancy dancy mansion, only to find that he'd been infected. At first, I thought he was normally like that, just like all young whippersnappers in the world, until he started growling and walking toward me, with his arms up in the air. I thought to myself, "BABY JESUS! IT'S A BRAIN-SLURPING jew killer! NOW I HAVE TO WALK SLIGHTLY FASTER THAN NORMAL TO GET AWAY FROM IT!". While I was thinking that, I was simultaneously yelling "BABY JESUS! I'D BETTER GRAB MY SHOTGUN AND PUMP SOME LEAD INTO THIS NAZI NEWBORN!". I killed my great-great-great-great grandson, and I'm proud to say I did! GOD BLESS AMERICA!
