Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team/The Doc’s Novelties: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 11:23, 21 June 2010

The Doc's Novelties

Bringing much needed levity to Malton... Through Science

On March 28th The Colglough Building was taken by a hoard of zombies including members of the Feral Undead, The Undeadites, and the Militant Order of Barhah. Leading this charge were the Four Horsemen, making their intentions towards Colglough and its inhabitants imminently clear at long last. Bolstered by remaining survivors from the Fort Perryn, Colglough held out for some time meeting each new zombified visitor with a revivification syringe, but eventually fell to an organized strike by the MOB. After being revived, Dr. Schwan crept back into the facility and looked in dismay at its smoldering ruins. The damaged equipment strewn over the factory floor. His private office soaked with booze and blood and littered with the remains of brave defenders. The smashed remains of The Colglough Building Recreational Intoxication Sub-Facility for the Improvement of Morale Through Dispensation and Responsible Imbibement of Ethyl-Based Beverages. The bravely shambling members of his staff still walking the halls.

As he looked out from his hiding space at the devastation that had once been a meditative art collection from all over Malton, he was struck by a feeling that he knew might have been sadness if not for the effectiveness of the Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors he had taken in preparation for this visit, when, looking down, he noticed a glinting piece of metal within the debris. The syringe still maintained its shine despite the attack and the pre-loaded Necrotech solution glittered in defiance of the chaos all around. As he turned the needle in his hand, he experienced what he knew would have been a renewed sense of purpose if not for the benzodiazepine derivative he had taken in preparation for this visit.

Snagging a bunny slipper from the foot of one of the undead, the Dr. wrapped the syringe in it and could not suppress a chuckle (despite his medication) as the tip of the needle protruded out of the bunny’s nose. The chuckle alerted the zombie from whom the slipper had been purloined causing the Dr. to have to revive it. Thus was born the flagship product in The Doc’s Novelties product line: the syringe sheath.

Current Product Line

Novelty Syringe Sleeves

The Novelty syringe sleeves are based on Dr. Schwan’s original experience in the ashes of Colglough, though the marketing designs have since become more complex than the original bunny slipper, which proved to have little if any practical application. Each model is made of only the highest quality salvaged materials and contains a nylon inner sleeve to prevent scratching. Simply inset the revivification needle into the inner sleeve, insert the inner sleeve into the novelty model of your choice, and revive in style.

The Diva

Searching for a glimmer of your pre-outbreak glamour? Want to express the feminine core beneath the cold scientific façade? Maybe you just want to signal passing aircraft with each revive; in that case, this may be the syringe accessory for you. The most stylish of the novelty syringe line, The Diva is made of high quality cubic zirconia stones on an adjustable nylon backing. Why not real diamonds? Well..why go natural when you can make it in a lab? The ultimate in scientific haute couture for the revivifyer on the go.

To order and use The Doc's Novelty Syringe Sleeve: Malfoy Edition, copy the following code to your user page

	The Doc’s Novelties
	This user revivifies in style with The Doc's Novelty Syringe Sleeves

The Malfoy

Tired of the jeering calls of “ZA HARMAN AHRN AH MRH-MAN” every time you step out onto the street? Sick of the other survivors referring to you as little Herbie West for always toting around a needle? Well friend… that can all change with Dr. Schwan’s Malfoy model novelty syringe sleeve. On the outside, this is a gentleman’s walking stick made of only the finest oak and high quality steel; on the inside, it is all business. The recessed handle can house one Necrotech brand syringe: simply cap the end of the needle, remove the plunger, insert into the handle housing, and you are ready should a classy night out turn suddenly foul. A spring-loaded mechanism in the handgrip allows the Necrotech solution to flow freely into the base of the spine in accordance with standard revivification procedures. When you are running low on supplies or feeling something less than scientific, the Malfoy may also be used as a bludgeon, proving to unruly ZAMBAHZ that if they will not fear your MRH-BANNANA they should at least beware your BAM BAM BAR. The Malfoy: the accessory of choice for the fashion-conscious man about Malton

To order and use The Doc's Novelty Syringe Sleeve: Malfoy Edition, copy the following code to your user page

	The Doc’s Novelties
	This user revivifies in style with The Doc's Novelty Syringe Sleeves

The Trenchie

Like reviving zombies? Let’s face it…we all do, but the world doesn’t stop turning while you spend FIVE HOURS emptying the contents of your syringe. Introducing the Trenchie, the Ideal syringe sleeve for survivors who need to stay connected. Now you can catch a game, listen to music, or keep up on the news at your favorite fort. Its lightweight design and durable construction make the Trenchie capable of surviving combat stress and freeruning mishaps, while its Teflon coating makes cleanup a breeze in the event of messy zombie neck backsplash. The Trenchie holds one standard issue Necrotech syringe and runs for 48 hours on a single battery charge. To recharge, simply hook the inserted needle up to the equipment at the nearest powered Necrotech facility and the built-in electrical current interface does the rest. Simple, useful, and fun in the field, with the Trenchie you can be the life of your next combat revivification party. ORDER YOURS TODAY!

To order and use The Doc's Novelty Syringe Sleeve: Trenchie Edition, copy the following code to your user page

	The Doc’s Novelties
	This user revivifies in style with The Doc's Novelty Syringe Sleeves

The Gordon Ramsey

“Oh no! The zombies have broken down the last of the barricades but if I let the scrambled eggs burn, everyone will have to go without breakfast!” Have you ever had to make this decision? Well never again with Dr. Schwan’s Gordon Ramsey model syringe sleeve. A stainless steel whisk on one end and a housing for one Necrotech brand syringe on the other, the Gordon Ramsey offers a heretofore unheard of degree of culinary versatility. With the automatic release mechanism, one quick jab and the needle dethatches to let you continue your cooking. By the time your food is ready, you have one more kitchen staff member to serve it and the health inspector never need know. Finally, you can have your cake and revivify it too! The one drawback of this model is that seating the syringe in the sleeve makes it impossible to connect it to the Necrotech system, but let’s face it, if there is a zombie in your kitchen decomposed enough to need Necronet access, you are going to have to redo those eggs.

To order and use The Doc's Novelty Syringe Sleeve: Gordon Ramsey Edition, copy the following code to your user page

	The Doc’s Novelties
	This user revivifies in style with The Doc's Novelty Syringe Sleeves

The Mrh-Bannana

COMING SOON!

The Gordon Freeman

For those theoretical physicists out there who enjoy teleportation; crowbars; and seem to be being stalked by a creepy man in a blue suit, the Gordon Freeman edition of syringe sleeve is an absolute must! With a solid steel body, the housed NecroTech syringe stays safe, and the crowbar helps ensure that no barricade is too large. Available with a stylish red body and silver ends, The Gordon Freeman will be available very shortly. (Valve Time permitting)