User:Katthew/Zombie Improvements: Difference between revisions

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'''This is not a suggestions page.''' This is a list of things that ''should'' be implemented into the game to improve the zombie experience and address issues of balance. If you disagree, you're wrong and will be mocked.
A long, long time ago a totally rad chica by the name of '''[[User:Katthew|Katthew]]''' started playing Urban Dead, and she saw that it could be fixed. So she made a list of improvements for the game, and the developer behind the game saw these improvements and knew that they were good... but did not understand the reasoning behind them. He took them anyway.
<br>[[Image:Template-_ZPOV.jpg|center]]
This page maintained by [[User:Katthew|Katthew]] and the [[:Category:Hitler family|Hitler Family]] for those frequent occasions when Katthew has been banned for no good reason.


Now you can show off your approval of these awesome improvements in the true wiki manner, by sticking <nowiki>{{ZombiePlus}}</nowiki> on your userpage and getting this sweet business on it:
This is my ongoing quest to <s>utterly destroy</s> fix the broken mess that is '''Urban Dead''' by bringing about balance and fun to everyone. Show off your approval of these awesome improvements (and me) in the true wiki manner, by sticking <nowiki>{{ZombiePlus}}</nowiki> on your userpage and getting this sweet business on it:
{{ZombiePlus}}
{{ZombiePlus}}


Support for these improvements is support for zombies and support for the game, don't be a loser.
Support for these improvements is support for zombies and support for the game, don't be a loser.


::'''UPDATE:''' Several of these ideas have been implemented into the game! '''HELL YES I AM ALWAYS RIGHT'''
== History (or, Katthew Is Always Right) ==


== Main Issues ==
=== Blood Smear ===


* '''Survivors have more ways to have fun.''' Survivors can communicate with each other through speech, radio and phone. Zombies have a gimped method of speech that, in order to make any kind of conversation, requires [[Zamgrh|its own damn dictionary]]. The closest thing they have to phones or radios is feeding groans, which don't say much except "food here". Zombies entirely revolve around finding things to hit and then hitting them, making them vastly more boring than survivors with their ability to graffiti messages on buildings and suchlike.
A proposed skill to allow zombies to smear blood on walls to mark territory, in the same way survivors use graffiti, was on this page for ''years'' before the recent update that gave zombies the ability to partially cover graffiti with blood.


* '''Zombies can be better zombies if they become survivors.''' Zombies require Body Building, NecroTech Employment and a flak jacket if they wish to make the most of themselves. Survivors don't need any zombie skills, provided they don't die on a regular basis and thus need Ankle Grab and Lurching Gait to get over to the nearest revive point to stand around for days doing nothing but waiting to become a survivor again. Why do they not want to play as a zombie? Because zombies are boring, as per point one.
Unlike the proposed skill, zombies will not get any experience for smearing blood anywhere, as is the case with survivor graffiti. Unlike the proposed skill, it is impossible for a zombie to fully obscure survivor graffiti. Unlike the proposed skill, there is no variation to the blood smears, making its only purpose to obscure graffiti.


* '''Zombies have it tough.''' At low level, a zombie can spend hours tearing apart barricades - smashing away heavy furniture and appliance - and end up baffled by a flimsy locked door. At top level, a zombie's maximum damage is approximately one third of the maximum damage a survivor can inflict - and its best attack rate does approximately one third of the damage a survivor's best attack rate. At any level, zombies have very few ways to get XP besides hitting something, while a survivor can get XP by reading a book.
:::'''STATUS:''' Implemented Poorly


== New Skills ==
=== Dark Building Benefits ===


=== Eliminating the Need to Revive ===
This page proposed a skill, '''Scent Life''', as part of the Scent branch of the zombie skilltree. It would remove hit rate penalties for zombies in dark buildings, meaning a zombie could attack equally well in light or darkness.


* '''Derma Mortis''' - All the effects of a flak jacket - reduces damage by 1 point per 5 - and does not stack with the flak jacket's protection. It only comes into effect when the character is a zombie. Located under the Vigour Mortis skill.
A recent game update states that it is "harder to escape [...] tangling grasp in the dark". With hit rates still halved in the dark to 25% or less for a zombie's hand attack, escaping their tangling grasp is a non-issue since zombies remain incapable of damaging survivors in dark buildings.


* '''Recomposition''' - All the effects of the Body Building skill - 60 maximum HP. Since it increases max HP to 60, rather than "adding 10", it does not stack. Only comes into effect as a zombie. Located under the Derma Mortis skill.
:::'''STATUS:''' Scarcely Implemented


These benefits to zombies can already be attained by an expenditure of time: getting revived and searching for a flak jacket. This takes a while to accomplish, especially procuring a revive. Replacing it with an expenditure of experience points means the zombie does not have to get revived and there is no imbalance.
=== Eating Corpses ===


::'''UPDATE:''' ''A disturbing '''Flesh Rot''' is creeping across the bone and muscle of the older, decaying zombies, making them more resilient to attack. (This is the equivalent of having died with the Body Building skill and a flak jacket, and doesn't stack.)'' '''VINDICATED.'''
The mechanic of zombies eating corpses to regain health, including the inability to consume the flesh of revivifying bodies, was listed here long before it was implemented in the game.


* '''Remembrance''' - The zombie's necrotic brain tissue is functioning well enough for it to recall things about how it came to be. Particular information - such as the NecroTech logo - and connections to it come to light. The zombie can now recognise NT buildings from the street. Doesn't allow for the zombie to use DNA extractors if revived. Located under the Memories of Life skill.
:::'''STATUS:''' Implemented Well


Another skill to eliminate the need to revive zombies. With this skill, no zombie needs to ever be revived to gain a survivor-only benefit that makes their life easier.
=== Flesh Rot ===


=== Having Fun as a Zombie ===
Two skills formerly on this page - '''Derma Mortis''' and '''Recomposition''' - were proposed to provide the same benefits as a flak jacket (damage reduction) and Body Building (health increase) to stop the need for zombies to spend time as survivors in order to become effective. Just a shame that it had to be stuffed under '''Brain Rot''', but we can't have everything.


* '''Blood Smear''' - Zombies can smear blood onto walls and other spraypaintable areas with their hands. Rather than saying "Somebody has spraypainted [message] onto a wall", the location will read "Somebody has smeared [image] onto a wall." Suggested images would be things like "an X in blood", "bloody handprints" or just "blood", selected from a drop-down list. After all, zombies are not all that literate or artistically skilled. Smearing blood would erase any spraypainted message, and equally so spraypainting over a blood smear would erase the smear. Like with the Tagging skill for survivors, smearing certain buildings - such as hospitals, police departments and NecroTech facilities - would give a small experience boost.
:::'''STATUS:''' Implemented Fairly Well


This skill serves no purpose other than to give zombies an equivalent to the survivor ability to spraypaint messages. Though they would be more limited in what they could do, they would also not require a spraycan (with its limitations) to do so. Zombie groups would not have to use survivors with which to spray messages, or at least not so many, and instead mark their territory by use of blood smears.
== Main Issues (or, Zombies Are Boring) ==


Another way to handle the smears would be to have it done like graffiti, with a text box, but run the text through the zombie-speech translator. Perhaps zombies without Death Rattle would have the drop-down box and zombies with Death Rattle would be able to smear more complicated messages.
* '''Survivors have more ways to have fun.''' Survivors can communicate with each other through speech, radio and phone. Zombies have a gimped method of speech that, in order to make any kind of conversation, requires [[Zamgrh|its own damn dictionary]].
:The closest thing zombies have to phones or radios is feeding groans, which don't say much except "food here". Zombies entirely revolve around finding things to hit and then hitting them, making them vastly more boring than survivors with their ability to graffiti messages on buildings and suchlike.


::'''UPDATE:''' ''The scenes of battles and murders are looking a lot '''bloodier''' than they used to.'' '''VINDICATED.'''
* '''Zombies have it tough.''' At low level, a zombie can spend <s>hours</s> '''days''' tearing apart barricades - smashing away heavy furniture and appliances - and end up baffled by a flimsy locked door. And then find out the building was empty anyway.
:At top level, a zombie's maximum damage is approximately one third of the maximum damage a survivor can inflict - and its best attack rate does approximately one third of the damage a survivor's best attack rate.
:At ''any'' level, zombies have very few ways to get XP besides hitting something, while a survivor can get XP by reading a book.


* '''Static Hiss''' - A sub-skill under Death Rattle that allows zombies to talk over powered radio transmitters. The messages would be prone to static and not always get through. Each successful use would damage the radio transmitter. This would only give a handful of uses before the transmitter broke entirely, if it or the generator don't get destroyed by other zombies first. This skill does not allow a zombie to change the frequency of the transmitter, just to Death Rattle into it a few times.
* '''The game is stagnant and dying.''' If you look at the [[March of the Dead|March of the Dead page]] and pay attention to the stats shown there, you can see that in February 2008 (before the murderous rampage) there were about 33,000 active players. According to the [http://www.urbandead.com/stats.html game stats page], there are currently 18,500 active players. That means that in the last two years, '''14,500 players have left the game'''.
:This is equivalent to '''twenty people every day''', more or less. Is this caused by the game being stagnant and boring, with little to nothing around to keep people interested? Yes. Yes, that is literally what it is. There is no other reason. This game is miserably unfair to new players, and excruciatingly monotonous to existing players.
:There is only one source of excitement in this game, and that's when me and my guys decide to make some noise and scare some pubbies. The game itself only operates at our whim. While this power is intoxicating, it's also a responsibility we could do without.


Giving zombies more opportunities to mess around and generally have fun with their attacks is a good idea - it makes their unlives more than just wandering around, ruining buildings and killing survivors. Along with Blood Smear, this skill serves no real purpose and could be considered a waste of AP - but a ''fun'' waste of AP. Zombies could also hold brief but meaningful conversations with any listening survivors, perhaps to exchange threats of who'll end up killing who. A grand time would be had by all.
== Solutions (or, Watch Katthew Fix Your Game) ==


::'''UPDATE:''' ''With survivors on edge for the slightest sound or disturbance, the crash of a '''transmitter being destroyed''' can now be picked out on a radio channel, and a building '''restoring or losing power''' will be noticed from adjacent blocks.'' '''PARTIALLY VINDICATED.'''
=== An Actual Difficulty Curve ===


=== Evening the Odds ===
If you've ever played a game designed by someone who actually knows the basics of game design - like, the ''absolute'' basics, the stuff that any idiot can learn in five minutes - then you'll know there's always a difficulty curve. Especially in RPGs and MMORPGs, of which Urban Dead is (supposedly) one.


* '''Headcrush''' - For zombies of level 15 and over. When the zombie with this skill delivers a killing blow to a human, the head is crushed and damaged. The zombie now has a temporary form of Brain Rot - one that can be cured by a survivor healing them with a first aid kit, or by biting someone if they have the Digestion skill. Only once this crushed head affliction is cured can they be revived out in the street - if they enter a powered NT building then, like zombies with Brain Rot, they can be revived regardless. DNA scanners will work properly and provide a reading, but detect and display evidence of this "minor trauma" and suggest action (ie, healing) should be taken before attempting a revive, thus prompting the appropriate action from survivors.
What is a difficulty curve? Put simply, it's why level 1 night elves (when they're not cybering each other) go around punching rats and wolves, while level 60 night elves take on lesser gods and the entire host of hell (when they're not cybering each other).


Much in the same way that Headshots stop zombies from getting back up and into the fight quickly, Headcrush will stop survivors from being revived quickly after getting killed. One of the main reasons that most sieges last so long is the killed survivors can be easily revived. The slight enforcement of playing as a zombie may also persuade an otherwise dyed-in-the-wool "survivor player" to try their hand at actually playing the other side, rather than shuffling off to stand at a revive point.
Low level characters are supposed to have an easier time, so they don't go "what the fuck is this bullshit" and quit. High level characters are supposed to have a tougher time, so they don't go "fuck this is so boring now" and quit. Urban Dead has both of these things happen! This is why it is a terribly designed game.


One of the major failings many "zombie headshot" skill suggestions have is that they think they should either mess with the survivor's XP or AP. This is ''stupid''. If you take away a survivor's XP, they're either super-maxxed out and therefore lose nothing of consequence, or they stand up as a low-level zombie with no skills and no means to buy skills. If you take away their AP, then although you ensure they stay down, that's not what you should want. Survivors want to ensure zombies to stay down, or at least be deterred by so much AP loss they give up. Zombies should want to ensure survivors stay ''dead'', and thus on their side... in theory.
'''Solution:''' Exponential costs for skills.


Hopefully if all these (utterly brilliant and perfect) improvements are incorporated into Urban Dead, being a zombie will be enough fun that survivors will slap their heads and go "God's balls! This is actually quite fun!"
Quite frankly, I know this is not only too late to be implemented, but will never see the light of day because Kevan is an incompetent designer. But this is the solution to the reverse difficulty curve where low-level players are punished and high-level players are bored. Simply put, to a level 1 character, '''all skills cost 10XP'''.


* '''Deathly Torpor''' - For 5AP the zombie can slow itself down and collapse into a heap, resembling - for all intents and purposes - a dead body. This faux dead body can be removed from buildings just like any other dead body. It takes the zombie the normal amount of AP to stand up, but since this skill would probably be located beneath Ankle Grab, that would be 1. By hiding in this way, lone zombies can hide out in survivor-dominated suburbs without risking a Headshot.
The moment you ''buy'' a skill, however, that price increases to '''25XP''', and then to '''40XP''', then '''55XP'''. The cost increases by 15XP each time, meaning you will have ''seven'' skills (including your starting skill) before the cost reaches 100. But it will, of course, keep going up. So skill number 28 will cost '''400XP'''.


In many zombie movies there is the common "make you jump" moment when a seemingly lifeless corpse rises up to take a bite out of an unsuspecting survivor. This skill emulates that, in part, but doesn't do anything ridiculous like make the zombie disappear or be unmoveable. However, the ability to hide in this manner would be an effective skill for feral zombies not wanting to get headshot ten thousand times as they struggle to find refuge, or for groups wishing to trick survivors under siege into believing that the threat has passed. (The latter would still have to contend with the presence of the survivors and the barricades, of course.)
The total cost for all skills, experience-wise, will be '''15300XP''' - which is far more than the current 4500XP (including all zombie skills), but it will still manage to be much easier for the low-level players to reach the pleasant mid-levels.


== Removing Skills ==
But wait! Katthew! You sexy bitch! I hear you say. That's all very well and good for civilians, but what about the military and the scientists? They have cheaper skills and more expensive skills!


=== Inherent Digestion ===
Simple, my imaginary audience member! Fuck that shit. The "class system" that this game has is stupid and broken, mainly because it ''is'' just "skills cost different amounts" and that is the worst kind of lazy mess I've ever seen in my life. I have neither the time nor the patience at present to fix it, so once again - fuck that shit.


Digestion, as a skill, is pretty worthless and only useful as a stepping stone to Infectious Bite. This basically means it's 200XP to get to one of the more useful skills in the zombie arsenal (one that's somewhat neutered by the fact that if it was any easier to find FAKs, you'd be able to find two with 1 AP). In any case, infections can stop survivors from killing you (as quickly) or rebarricading (as quickly), so it's a nice skill to have.
=== Barricades ===


Once, of course, you've also got Neck Lurch so it's not an absolute waste of time trying to hit. And probably Tangling Grasp, too. You can miss up to 20 times in a row even with 30% to hit (which isn't "bad luck", it's "shitty coding") which means that having to spend 400XP on a skill that might work ''occasionally'' is utter bullshit.
Zombies can only groan when survivors are present, so it's not really possible to attract other zombies to a building you're trying to open until you actually get in there and groan at the survivors inside. Who, of course, will inevitably be barricading as fast as possible. Sisyphean, right? Worry not, because Katthew has the answer.


Solution: scrap Digestion. Make its effects inherent to the zombie - all bites, from the start, give back health. Move Infectious Bite down to where Digestion was, and now you only have to spend 300XP to be able to infect people. Or perhaps only 200XP, if the RNG ever starts generating random numbers for real.
'''Solution:''' Breaking barricades makes noise.


== Revised Skill Tree ==
Upon bringing the barricades down a visible level (from extremely heavily to very heavily, for example) there would be a noise. You have, after all, just pulled apart a pile of junk and made it fall to the ground. So everyone in that block, and in the surrounding eight blocks, would hear "A crash coming from 1 block north/west/south/etc." (for example).


*'''Scent Fear'''
Anyone (both survivor and zombie) ''inside'' a building in one of those eight blocks will hear nothing. The survivors inside the building being opened up will hear "A loud crash coming from outside" and thus be alerted to the zombie demolition crew working on their defences. Whether they want to keep barricading or run is up to them.
:*'''Scent Blood'''
:*'''Scent Trail'''
:*'''Scent Death'''
*'''Infectious Bite'''
*'''Vigour Mortis'''
:*'''''Derma Mortis'''''
::*'''''Recomposition'''''
:*'''Neck Lurch'''
:*'''Death Grip'''
:*'''Rend Flesh'''
:*'''Tangling Grasp'''
:*'''Feeding Drag'''
*'''Memories of Life'''
:*'''Death Rattle'''
::*'''''Static Hiss'''''
:*'''Feeding Groan'''
:*'''Ransack'''
:*'''Flailing Gesture'''
:*'''''Blood Smear'''''
:*'''''Remembrance'''''
*'''Lurching Gait'''
:*'''Ankle Grab'''
::*'''''Deathly Torpor'''''
*'''Brain Rot'''
*'''''Headcrush'''''


This would make the new maximum zombie level (with Brain Rot, without any survivor skills) 26, as compared to 20 beforehand. This is a little larger than the survivor's current 22, but in all likelihood new survivor skills are right around the corner. Not to mention that the disparity just means that survivors need to spend less time gathering XP to be the best.
In addition, hit rates to bring down a level of barricade should be increased. The current level is too low to work effectively.


== Making Things Easier ==
=== Doors ===


=== RNG ===
Without the Memories of Life skill, a level one zombie can tear apart heavy duty barricades but be foiled by a single, flimsy door. Shut doors are one of the more common frustrations for low-level zombies, especially since the Memories of Life skill isn't as important as skills like Death Grip and Lurching Gait when it comes to making the most of one's AP. Letting out a Feeding Groan is not an option, since there are no humans around, so the poor zombie has to sit back and wait for either another zombie to stumble across this unbarricaded building, or for the survivors inside to rebarricade the place back up to EHB because oh my God you guys there's a zombie outside.


Maybe there should be an ''actual'' RNG that generates random numbers, instead of a game of "time your clicks right to hit every time". Just a thought, you know?
'''Solution:''' Introduce the ability to attack the door.


=== Doors ===
Attacking the door should take three hits, and therefore cost more AP than just entering the building. Doors would only be able to be attacked once the building's barricades are down. However, for low-level zombies without Memories of Life, it would be a useful thing to have. Once a door has been smashed open, survivors can still close it as if it had been opened normally by a zombie with Memories of Life, but since it can just be smashed open again they may want to, I dunno, ''run'' instead.


Without the Memories of Life skill, a level one zombie can tear apart heavy duty barricades but be foiled by a single, flimsy door. Shut doors are one of the more common frustrations for low-level zombies, especially since the Memories of Life skill isn't as important as skills like Death Grip and Lurching Gait when it comes to making the most of one's AP. Letting out a Feeding Groan is not an option, since there are no humans around, so the poor zombie has to sit back and wait for either another zombie to stumble across this unbarricaded building, or for the survivors inside to rebarricade the place back up to EHB because oh my God you guys there's a zombie outside.
(The door attack takes "three hits" for the following reason: the shitty, abysmal, poorly-coded RNG means that a "30%" chance of success could take somewhere in the region of 100AP or more for some. So instead, each hit smashes the door a little more until it's opened. It's not like doors can ''dodge'', anyway.)


There is a solution to the problem that is not simply eliminating doors (which would cause survivor outcry): introducing the ability to attack the door.
Additionally, somehow zombies find it impossible to enter a building unless they can open the door, but have no trouble leaving without opening the door. Maybe they are climbing out the window, or up the fucking chimney. Either zombies with Memories of Life need to automatically open doors when ''leaving'' a building as well as entering, or some kind of "Open Door" button should be visible when inside a building with a closed door much like there is a "Close Door" button when they are open. Hell, have both. In fact, definitely make it both. Before survivor start wetting their pants, remember that barricades are the important defence against zombies, not doors. If you are seriously going to rely on ''doors'' to keep you safe then you're a colossal idiot who doesn't deserve to be playing the game. C'mon, they're ''doors''. They don't hold back any monsters except if they're ''barricaded''.


Attacking the door would have a low success rate, perhaps 20-30%, and therefore cost more AP than just entering the building. Doors would only be able to be attacked once the building's barricades are down. However, for low-level zombies without Memories of Life, it would be a useful thing to have. Once a door has been smashed open, survivors can still close it as if it had been opened normally by a zombie with Memories of Life, but since it can just be smashed open again they may want to, I dunno, ''run'' instead.
Lastly, the doors to ruined buildings should not be able to be closed. Attempting to close the doors should cost 1AP and give the message "The door swings uselessly back and forth on its hinges." or similar. This will, if nothing else, stop zombies from wasting AP checking ruined buildings with closed doors - and stop survivors from hiding out in them so much, because seriously.


Additionally, somehow zombies find it impossible to enter a building unless they can open the door, but have no trouble leaving without opening the door. Either zombies with Memories of Life need to automatically open doors when ''leaving'' a building as well as entering, or some kind of "Open Door" button should be visible when inside a building with a closed door much like there is a "Close Door" button when they are open. Hell, or have both. In fact, definitely make it both. Before survivor start wetting their pants, remember that barricades are the important defence against zombies, not doors. If you are seriously going to rely on ''doors'' to keep you safe then you're a colossal idiot who doesn't deserve to be playing the game. C'mon, they're ''doors''. They don't hold back any monsters except if they're ''barricaded''.
=== Empty Buildings ===


Lastly, the doors to ruined buildings should not be able to be closed. Attempting to close the doors should cost 1AP and give the message "The door swings uselessly back and forth on its hinges." or similar. This will, if nothing else, stop zombies from wasting AP checking ruined buildings with closed doors - and stop survivors from hiding out in them, because seriously.
We've all been there (unless you've never played zombie, in which case you are part of the problem): you've been hammering on the barricades of a police department for hours and hours, finally getting inside after spending 40AP bringing them down from "very strongly" to completely gone. You lurch inside and... it's completely empty.


=== Barricades ===
'''Solution:''' Zombies should be able to tell if buildings are inhabited or not.


Zombies can only groan when survivors are present, so it's not really possible to attract other zombies to a building you're trying to open until you actually get in there and groan at the survivors inside. Who, of course, will inevitably be barricading as fast as possible. Sisyphean, right? There is a solution.
Make it a new skill, make it part of an existing skill, but it has to be implemented in the game to stop zombies from quitting out of frustration. Appending "'''This building smells empty'''" to the end of a description will save a lot of heartache. Why smell? Because every other detection-based skill is based around scent. I don't know why zombies are apparently big on sniffing, especially when the nose is typically the first thing to rot off, but whatever!


Upon bringing the barricades down a visible level (from extremely heavily to very heavily, for example) there would be a noise. You have, after all, just pulled apart a pile of junk and made it fall to the ground. So everyone in that block, and in the surrounding eight blocks, would hear "A crash coming from 1 block east" (for example).
In order to make it ''not'' a magic key to finding everyone in the city, have the threshold be 3 survivors. Four survivors or more, the building smells like dinner. Three or less, it may as well be empty. That way survivors have two choices: stay on their own, or trust that there's safety in numbers. Just like a real zombie film! Will this provide tense moments when a stranger arrives and tips the balance from safety to danger, and the moral choices could tear our survivors apart before one of them realises it's just a game and shoots the guy dead? Oooh, I hope so!


Anyone (both survivor and zombie) ''inside'' a building in one of those eight blocks will hear nothing. The survivors inside will hear "A loud crash coming from outside" and thus be alerted to the zombie demolition crew working on their defences. Whether they want to keep barricading or run is up to them.
If a building is ruined, the threshold is 0 survivors. That's right, bucko, if a single human is inside a ruined building, the zombies are gonna know about it. So don't do it. It's retarded anyway. Go find a Goddamn junkyard or something.


=== Hit Rates ===
=== Hit Rates ===


The starting zombie hit rates are atrocious, and are the main reason why many new zombies quit the game. In principle, in an MMO the higher level you are the more difficult things are supposed to get, to increase the challenge as you become more powerful. In Urban Dead, everything gets easier.
The starting zombie hit rates are atrocious, and are the main reason why many new zombies quit the game. In principle, in an MMO the higher level you are the more difficult things are supposed to get, to increase the challenge as you become more powerful. In Urban Dead, everything gets easier. Like, ''way'' easier.
 
'''Solution:''' Increase the starting hit rates by 10%.
 
That would see starting zombies have a 45% chance to hit with their hand attacks, a better rate even with the unpredictable RNG. Finding survivors and bringing down barricades is already a massive waste of AP, with low-level zombies sometimes spending days trying to find a target, often starting their day spending a whole 10-15AP to stand up. Giving them a better chance at dealing damage would give a quicker return of XP per AP spent, and maybe stop them from considering the game to be massively slanted against them (which, to be fair, it is) and quitting.


Increasing the starting hit rates by 10% would see starting zombies have a 45% chance to hit with their hand attacks, a better rate even with the unpredictable RNG. Finding survivors and bringing down barricades is already a massive waste of AP, with low-level zombies sometimes spending days trying to find a target, often starting their day spending a whole 10AP to stand up. Giving them a better chance at dealing damage would give a quicker return of XP per AP spent, and maybe stop them from considering the game to be massively slanted against them (which, to be fair, it is) and quitting.
An increase of 10% would make the top zombie attack a 60% chance to do 3 damage - still a far cry from a survivor's 65% chance of 10 damage, but decent enough. Bite would be a 40% chance - actually worth using.
 
Quickly maxing out combat skills would turn zombies into lean, mean, XP-gaining machines who would then be able to easily gain all the other skills necessary for fun and frolics. Provided, of course, that they could find a ready supply of survivors just sleeping in the gutters. Otherwise it's just more days of fruitlessly hammering on barricades.
 
=== Inherent Digestion ===
 
Digestion, as a skill, is pretty worthless and only useful as a stepping stone to Infectious Bite. This basically means it's 200XP to get to one of the more useful skills in the zombie arsenal (one that's somewhat neutered by the fact that if it was any easier to find FAKs, you'd be able to find two with 1 AP). In any case, infections can stop survivors from killing you (as quickly) or rebarricading (as quickly), so it's a nice skill to have.
 
Once, of course, you've also got Neck Lurch so it's not an absolute waste of time trying to hit. And probably Tangling Grasp, too. You can miss up to 20 times in a row even with 30% to hit (which isn't "bad luck", it's "shitty coding") which means that having to spend 400XP on a skill that might work ''occasionally'' is utter bullshit.
 
'''Solution:''' Scrap Digestion.
 
Make its effects inherent to the zombie - all bites, from the start, give back health. Move Infectious Bite down to where Digestion was, and now you only have to spend 300XP to be able to infect people. Or perhaps only 200XP, if the RNG ever starts generating random numbers for real.


=== More Experience ===
=== More Experience ===
Line 141: Line 135:
Zombies have one basic way of gaining experience - hitting stuff. Hitting survivors provides experience. Hitting generators and radio transmitters provides experience. Hitting barricades provides experience. Hitting things to ransack a building provides experience - but just barely.
Zombies have one basic way of gaining experience - hitting stuff. Hitting survivors provides experience. Hitting generators and radio transmitters provides experience. Hitting barricades provides experience. Hitting things to ransack a building provides experience - but just barely.


Giving 1XP per level of ransack, with a 5XP bonus for getting in the ruin, would give zombies a reason to buy Ransack besides messing with survivors. A low-level zombie could buy Ransack to ensure that opening an empty building wouldn't only give a small handful of experience for smashing the barricades, but an extra 10XP on top of that.
'''Solution:''' More varied ways to earn XP.
 
Giving 1XP per level of ransack, with a 5XP bonus for getting in the ruin (rather than just 1XP for ruining a building), would give zombies a reason to buy Ransack besides messing with survivors. A low-level zombie could buy Ransack to ensure that opening an empty building wouldn't only give a small handful of experience for smashing the barricades, but an extra 10XP on top of that.
 
Barricades should give 3XP per level, not one. Lone zombies do not often get any eats out of bringing down barricades. If they manage to get in somehow, and haha good fuckin' luck with that, then what can they do? Make a few attacks, possibly groan? Then when they log in later, they've either been headshot or beaten to the kill - either way all they have is the XP from bashing the barricades. So let's up that a bit, make it so breaking into a building isn't a worthless chore.
 
Giving a flat 10XP bonus for infecting a survivor (and only survivors, not zombies) instead of the usual 4XP from damage dealt would also give mid-level zombies a way to progress faster. It would be a one-time deal, any further bites would not give the same bonus. It would encourage feral zombies to infect survivors and help them progress faster than they otherwise would.
 
The new, practically worthless "'''Bellow'''" skill could be put to some use - 5XP the first time you bellow. That'd be a sweet little reward for managing to find a large group of survivors and lasting long enough to alert your fellow undead about it. Perhaps 1XP per first-groan as well? That would be useful.
 
If blood smears were implemented properly, as they should be, you could get XP for defacing buildings like malls, hospitals and other traditional "safehouses". That'd help provide a little bonus to those zombies wandering the empty streets with nothing but ruined buildings and extremely heavily barricaded safehouses around.


Giving a flat 10XP bonus for infecting a survivor (and only survivors, not zombies) instead of the usual 4XP would also give mid-level zombies a way to progress faster. It would be a one-time deal, any further bites would not give the same bonus. It would encourage feral zombies to infect survivors and help them progress faster than they otherwise would.
=== Protection ===


=== Easier Routes for Increased Health ===
Survivors, mostly being one big happy family of like-minded assholes, protect each other. A survivor who gets attacked will be healed, if he's lucky. If he's not, and gets killed, he has to endure the ''horror'' of being a zombie for the fives minutes it'll take for him to get a revive so he will never, ever have to soil himself by playing as "the enemy".


There are three ways for a zombie to replenish its health - be healed by a survivor, have the Digestion skill and bite someone, or die and stand up again. The last method is the most usual, since the low hit rate for bite attacks makes Digestion impractical and survivors don't tend to heal zombies. However, picture the scene: a low-level zombie has been gravely wounded, but soldiers on. They manage to get to an opened safehouse, or perhaps open one themselves. A little XP is gained, but then one of the survivors logs on and delivers a single blow with the pistol - the zombie is Headshot and needs to spend 15AP to stand up again. Had that zombie had more health, they wouldn't have been punked like a little bitch.
Zombies don't get the same deal when it comes to co-operation. Zombies cannot heal each other, and "de-viving" a comrade involves burning all your AP on killing him - and finding a window to jump out of can take just as much AP thanks to the overbarricading of the city. Zombies basically stand about in big groups for one reason: to be a herd. Because when big survivor man comes out and headshots three zombies with his impeccable hit rates and superior damage, those three might not be ''you''.


Introducing a "feed" button that would appear (much like groan or ransack options only appear at appropriate moments) whenever at least one dead body is present. If clicked, the zombie would see some flavour text along the lines of "You strip still-warm flesh from the corpse and feel it replenish you" and gain 2HP. This would cost 1AP per feed, much in the same way that dumping dead bodies costs 1AP per body. Once a dead body has been fed from, it cannot be fed upon again by that zombie - it would need to get up and die again to reset its status. Feeding happens once per body - if there were fifteen bodies in a block, it would cost 15AP to feed upon them all and result in a bonus of 30HP. Once all the dead bodies in that block have been fed upon, the "feed" button would disappear.
'''Solution:''' Better benefits for being in a horde.


Attempting to feed upon a revivifying body would provide a "you are repulsed" type message, much in the same way that survivors get an error when scanning a zombie with the Brain Rot skill. However, unlike the survivors, the zombie would be utterly unable to eat the revivifying body no matter how hard they tried. Scent Death would allow zombies to bypass the "inedible" corpses.
If you're dead and there are 20+ zombies in the same square as you, standing up takes 1AP. Always. Regardless of ankle grab status or whether you've been headshot: 1AP. The survivor solution is, then, to make sure they kill enough zombies to make sure there's 20 or less so their headshots count.


This new method would allow for zombies to replenish their health, albeit for a very significant AP cost if incredibly low on health, and entirely dependent on dead bodies being present. Zombies mashing the "feed" button and regaining HP would find it to be a waste of their time compared to the occasional nibble - or simply getting killed and standing back up again. Regaining 30HP, as stated about, would require 15 dead bodies in the same block (with none revivifying) and 15AP minimum. That's the same AP needed to stand up after getting Headshot, which provides full HP rather than just 30, so unless it's a real emergency zombies would not waste their time and their AP. The key here is "just enough to be helpful, not enough to mess things up."
Every hour you spend in a group of 20+ zombies, you gain 4HP. Unless you're at full health, of course.


::'''UPDATE:''' ''Zombies able to digest raw meat have been seen '''picking at the fresh bodies''' that litter the city, to recover strength.'' '''VINDICATED.'''
A survivor taking non-combat actions (ie, not directly shooting, stabbing or punching the zombies) when in the same square as 20+ zombies carries a 10% risk of becoming infected. Speaking would not count as a non-combat action, so you survivors would still be able to roleplay to your heart's content. But barricading the building ''would'' count, meaning you'd better kill the zombies before trying that. If killing 20+ zombies seems like an impossible task, then there's always the choice of ''running away''.


=== Less Zombie Antipathy in the Wiki ===
While in a horde of 20+ zombies, your damage increases by 1. So max-level attacks would be 5/4, rather than 4/3. Bite attacks would be affected by flak jackets, making it 4/4 for most cases, but whatever - not everyone has a flak jacket. This damage increase would also increase experience gain, of course, prompting zombies to stick together and not wander off by themselves.


Clicking on the wiki button introduces you to a main page where some key links are [[Revivification Point|Revive Point]], [[NT Status Map|NT Locations & Security]] and [[Mall Information Center]] - not to mention the [[Suburb|map of the city]]. The vast majority of the wiki is slanted against zombie players, with pages and guides dedicated to countering zombie attacks linked prominently. Those few pro-zombie pages tend to be hidden away, often poorly written. For new zombie players, this is an overwhelmingly negative reception.
=== Ruined Buildings ===


This is mostly due to the perceived (yet wholly imaginary) "war" between zombies and survivors. Changing this would be easy - establish alternate sections for survivors and for zombies linked from the main page, with additional generic links (such as building types, first day guides and so forth). The zombie pages would have to be cleaned and maintained with the same diligence and obsessive-compulsiveness that the survivor pages see. The survivor side could still have pages like the suburb map, but the zombies could also have a similar page where suburbs are rated by different categories than "zombie presence" - like, for example, amount of powered buildings and so forth.
It takes a zombie 6AP to ruin a building, and it takes a survivor 1AP to repair it. Seriously? ''Seriously?'' So a building has to be ruined for a ''week'' before our happy little survivor has to spend as much AP as our miserable little zombie? '''Bullshit'''. Retaking ruined buildings should be a case of multiple survivors being forced to work together, not some asshole strolling in with a toolkit and patching the place up in five fucking seconds.


== Fluff ==
'''Solution:''' It should cost '''5AP''' to repair a building, ''plus'' the 1AP bonus for every day it stays ruined.


=== Zombie Clothes ===
Searching a ruined building, for what''ever'' retarded reason anyone could possibly have to do such a thing, should carry a small chance (let's say 15%) of hurting yourself for 3HP. There's all kinds of things in desolate buildings that could hurt you, after all: broken glass, exposed wiring, upturned hairbrushes, etc. etc. etc. and so forth. Survivors will still be able find items in a ruined building, of course, but they'll also be able to hurt themselves in the process. The zombie apocalypse needs more risks, more solutions to outright stupidity.
 
=== Speech ===
 
Zombie speech is unintelligible and runs your input text through such an overzealous filter than your meaning can't be even guessed at unless you specifically use only the letters you're allowed. Really? Seriously? This is a thing that has to happen? Christ, dude, this is bullshit.


In order to change clothes, a zombie must be revived and go to a store and edit their profile settings there. This does not mesh with the overall message of the earlier sections: '''zombies should not have to be revived for any purpose'''. This includes shopping for clothes. Yes, accepted zombie lore shows that zombies are not particularly up to speed with fashion, but your average survivor profile also shows a complete lack of fashion sense. (For the record, [http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=116418 I look ''awesome''].) In any case, zombies should not have to get revived just to make some minor changes to their outfit and then throw themselves out of a window. It's a waste of time and AP for the zombie and it's a waste of a syringe for the survivors, who must hoard them like the precious things they are.
'''Solution:''' Zombie speech only appears "translated" to the living.


As a compromise, zombies should be able to change their outfit inside any '''ruined''' building. Rather than choose from the survivor list of immaculate shirts and whatever, they would choose from a "zombie list" of clothes - ragged, torn and bloodstained. A new wide choice of zombie clothes could spark a delightful change in the fashions of Malton and provide stuff for all you useless pubbies to vote about on the [[Clothes/Suggestions|Clothes Suggestions]] page. Different ruined buildings would provide different types of clothes. Repaired buildings would provide ''nothing'', thus giving certain zombies one more reason to ruin it.
Zombies should be able to understand other zombies in plain text. I literally could not give a shit if this ruins your precious verisimilitude at playing pretend zombie apocalypse. This isn't a Goddamn simulation of the end of days as spurted out gloriously from George Romero's sweaty ballsack on all of your dumb fucking faces. This is a ''game''. Games are supposed to be ''fun''. Trying your fucking best to co-ordinate your team against the enemy through singsong and pantomime like a fucking hippy communicating through the medium of interpretive dance is ''not fun''.


Survivor clothes would of course still be present on newly-dead zombies, and those zombies who do get revived would still be wearing their zombie clothes. Dying (or revivifying) does not affect one's clothes beyond perhaps a bit of wear and tear, after all. It's entirely possible that survivors would take to killing anyone found alive and wearing zombie clothes, but it's not like people don't already have more than enough excuses for their rampant paranoia, so whatever.
=== Zombie Clothes ===


=== Building Descriptions ===
Zombies can't change their clothes. Why? Because '''verisimilitude!''' It's not a perfect simulation of a real zombie apocalypse if zombies can change their clothes, therefore ''heh'' [[Image:Smugface.gif]]


Yes, we get it. We ransack the building. Hooray. Survivors get to play around with tapestries and stuffed alligators all day, zombies should at least have some more... ''descriptive'' descriptions of ransacked buildings. A more definite clash between "building is okay" and "building is trashed" would give zombies a better feel of their handiwork, and instantly warn survivors they're entering the lion's den. Probably after falling off it in the first place, knowing you dumbass pubbies.
'''Solution:''' Zombies can change their clothes to special zombie clothes.


Another easy addition to placate the ravening hordes of zombies that demand acknowledgment for their hard work would be an implementation of a system similar to the snow effect that was in place during the winter months. Buildings where several kills happened would have a short line saying (for example) "There are patches of dried blood on the floor." More little add-on descriptions of this nature would enhance the atmosphere and provide something better than just "You're in a building and, fuck, I guess it's been a bit messed up or something? Whatever."
Look, I am not a complicated person. I want gothic lolita clothes to dress my character in. I want to be able to lurch my stupid zombie ass into a ruined building and be able to change my outfit as a zombie and dress in gothic lolita clothes because ''GIVE ME SOME FUCKING GOTHIC LOLITA OUTFITS FOR FUCK'S SAKE''.

Latest revision as of 05:04, 4 June 2011

A long, long time ago a totally rad chica by the name of Katthew started playing Urban Dead, and she saw that it could be fixed. So she made a list of improvements for the game, and the developer behind the game saw these improvements and knew that they were good... but did not understand the reasoning behind them. He took them anyway.

This is my ongoing quest to utterly destroy fix the broken mess that is Urban Dead by bringing about balance and fun to everyone. Show off your approval of these awesome improvements (and me) in the true wiki manner, by sticking {{ZombiePlus}} on your userpage and getting this sweet business on it:

Grave.png Improve Urban Dead
Katthew's Zombie Improvements should be incorporated into Urban Dead.

Support for these improvements is support for zombies and support for the game, don't be a loser.

History (or, Katthew Is Always Right)

Blood Smear

A proposed skill to allow zombies to smear blood on walls to mark territory, in the same way survivors use graffiti, was on this page for years before the recent update that gave zombies the ability to partially cover graffiti with blood.

Unlike the proposed skill, zombies will not get any experience for smearing blood anywhere, as is the case with survivor graffiti. Unlike the proposed skill, it is impossible for a zombie to fully obscure survivor graffiti. Unlike the proposed skill, there is no variation to the blood smears, making its only purpose to obscure graffiti.

STATUS: Implemented Poorly

Dark Building Benefits

This page proposed a skill, Scent Life, as part of the Scent branch of the zombie skilltree. It would remove hit rate penalties for zombies in dark buildings, meaning a zombie could attack equally well in light or darkness.

A recent game update states that it is "harder to escape [...] tangling grasp in the dark". With hit rates still halved in the dark to 25% or less for a zombie's hand attack, escaping their tangling grasp is a non-issue since zombies remain incapable of damaging survivors in dark buildings.

STATUS: Scarcely Implemented

Eating Corpses

The mechanic of zombies eating corpses to regain health, including the inability to consume the flesh of revivifying bodies, was listed here long before it was implemented in the game.

STATUS: Implemented Well

Flesh Rot

Two skills formerly on this page - Derma Mortis and Recomposition - were proposed to provide the same benefits as a flak jacket (damage reduction) and Body Building (health increase) to stop the need for zombies to spend time as survivors in order to become effective. Just a shame that it had to be stuffed under Brain Rot, but we can't have everything.

STATUS: Implemented Fairly Well

Main Issues (or, Zombies Are Boring)

  • Survivors have more ways to have fun. Survivors can communicate with each other through speech, radio and phone. Zombies have a gimped method of speech that, in order to make any kind of conversation, requires its own damn dictionary.
The closest thing zombies have to phones or radios is feeding groans, which don't say much except "food here". Zombies entirely revolve around finding things to hit and then hitting them, making them vastly more boring than survivors with their ability to graffiti messages on buildings and suchlike.
  • Zombies have it tough. At low level, a zombie can spend hours days tearing apart barricades - smashing away heavy furniture and appliances - and end up baffled by a flimsy locked door. And then find out the building was empty anyway.
At top level, a zombie's maximum damage is approximately one third of the maximum damage a survivor can inflict - and its best attack rate does approximately one third of the damage a survivor's best attack rate.
At any level, zombies have very few ways to get XP besides hitting something, while a survivor can get XP by reading a book.
  • The game is stagnant and dying. If you look at the March of the Dead page and pay attention to the stats shown there, you can see that in February 2008 (before the murderous rampage) there were about 33,000 active players. According to the game stats page, there are currently 18,500 active players. That means that in the last two years, 14,500 players have left the game.
This is equivalent to twenty people every day, more or less. Is this caused by the game being stagnant and boring, with little to nothing around to keep people interested? Yes. Yes, that is literally what it is. There is no other reason. This game is miserably unfair to new players, and excruciatingly monotonous to existing players.
There is only one source of excitement in this game, and that's when me and my guys decide to make some noise and scare some pubbies. The game itself only operates at our whim. While this power is intoxicating, it's also a responsibility we could do without.

Solutions (or, Watch Katthew Fix Your Game)

An Actual Difficulty Curve

If you've ever played a game designed by someone who actually knows the basics of game design - like, the absolute basics, the stuff that any idiot can learn in five minutes - then you'll know there's always a difficulty curve. Especially in RPGs and MMORPGs, of which Urban Dead is (supposedly) one.

What is a difficulty curve? Put simply, it's why level 1 night elves (when they're not cybering each other) go around punching rats and wolves, while level 60 night elves take on lesser gods and the entire host of hell (when they're not cybering each other).

Low level characters are supposed to have an easier time, so they don't go "what the fuck is this bullshit" and quit. High level characters are supposed to have a tougher time, so they don't go "fuck this is so boring now" and quit. Urban Dead has both of these things happen! This is why it is a terribly designed game.

Solution: Exponential costs for skills.

Quite frankly, I know this is not only too late to be implemented, but will never see the light of day because Kevan is an incompetent designer. But this is the solution to the reverse difficulty curve where low-level players are punished and high-level players are bored. Simply put, to a level 1 character, all skills cost 10XP.

The moment you buy a skill, however, that price increases to 25XP, and then to 40XP, then 55XP. The cost increases by 15XP each time, meaning you will have seven skills (including your starting skill) before the cost reaches 100. But it will, of course, keep going up. So skill number 28 will cost 400XP.

The total cost for all skills, experience-wise, will be 15300XP - which is far more than the current 4500XP (including all zombie skills), but it will still manage to be much easier for the low-level players to reach the pleasant mid-levels.

But wait! Katthew! You sexy bitch! I hear you say. That's all very well and good for civilians, but what about the military and the scientists? They have cheaper skills and more expensive skills!

Simple, my imaginary audience member! Fuck that shit. The "class system" that this game has is stupid and broken, mainly because it is just "skills cost different amounts" and that is the worst kind of lazy mess I've ever seen in my life. I have neither the time nor the patience at present to fix it, so once again - fuck that shit.

Barricades

Zombies can only groan when survivors are present, so it's not really possible to attract other zombies to a building you're trying to open until you actually get in there and groan at the survivors inside. Who, of course, will inevitably be barricading as fast as possible. Sisyphean, right? Worry not, because Katthew has the answer.

Solution: Breaking barricades makes noise.

Upon bringing the barricades down a visible level (from extremely heavily to very heavily, for example) there would be a noise. You have, after all, just pulled apart a pile of junk and made it fall to the ground. So everyone in that block, and in the surrounding eight blocks, would hear "A crash coming from 1 block north/west/south/etc." (for example).

Anyone (both survivor and zombie) inside a building in one of those eight blocks will hear nothing. The survivors inside the building being opened up will hear "A loud crash coming from outside" and thus be alerted to the zombie demolition crew working on their defences. Whether they want to keep barricading or run is up to them.

In addition, hit rates to bring down a level of barricade should be increased. The current level is too low to work effectively.

Doors

Without the Memories of Life skill, a level one zombie can tear apart heavy duty barricades but be foiled by a single, flimsy door. Shut doors are one of the more common frustrations for low-level zombies, especially since the Memories of Life skill isn't as important as skills like Death Grip and Lurching Gait when it comes to making the most of one's AP. Letting out a Feeding Groan is not an option, since there are no humans around, so the poor zombie has to sit back and wait for either another zombie to stumble across this unbarricaded building, or for the survivors inside to rebarricade the place back up to EHB because oh my God you guys there's a zombie outside.

Solution: Introduce the ability to attack the door.

Attacking the door should take three hits, and therefore cost more AP than just entering the building. Doors would only be able to be attacked once the building's barricades are down. However, for low-level zombies without Memories of Life, it would be a useful thing to have. Once a door has been smashed open, survivors can still close it as if it had been opened normally by a zombie with Memories of Life, but since it can just be smashed open again they may want to, I dunno, run instead.

(The door attack takes "three hits" for the following reason: the shitty, abysmal, poorly-coded RNG means that a "30%" chance of success could take somewhere in the region of 100AP or more for some. So instead, each hit smashes the door a little more until it's opened. It's not like doors can dodge, anyway.)

Additionally, somehow zombies find it impossible to enter a building unless they can open the door, but have no trouble leaving without opening the door. Maybe they are climbing out the window, or up the fucking chimney. Either zombies with Memories of Life need to automatically open doors when leaving a building as well as entering, or some kind of "Open Door" button should be visible when inside a building with a closed door much like there is a "Close Door" button when they are open. Hell, have both. In fact, definitely make it both. Before survivor start wetting their pants, remember that barricades are the important defence against zombies, not doors. If you are seriously going to rely on doors to keep you safe then you're a colossal idiot who doesn't deserve to be playing the game. C'mon, they're doors. They don't hold back any monsters except if they're barricaded.

Lastly, the doors to ruined buildings should not be able to be closed. Attempting to close the doors should cost 1AP and give the message "The door swings uselessly back and forth on its hinges." or similar. This will, if nothing else, stop zombies from wasting AP checking ruined buildings with closed doors - and stop survivors from hiding out in them so much, because seriously.

Empty Buildings

We've all been there (unless you've never played zombie, in which case you are part of the problem): you've been hammering on the barricades of a police department for hours and hours, finally getting inside after spending 40AP bringing them down from "very strongly" to completely gone. You lurch inside and... it's completely empty.

Solution: Zombies should be able to tell if buildings are inhabited or not.

Make it a new skill, make it part of an existing skill, but it has to be implemented in the game to stop zombies from quitting out of frustration. Appending "This building smells empty" to the end of a description will save a lot of heartache. Why smell? Because every other detection-based skill is based around scent. I don't know why zombies are apparently big on sniffing, especially when the nose is typically the first thing to rot off, but whatever!

In order to make it not a magic key to finding everyone in the city, have the threshold be 3 survivors. Four survivors or more, the building smells like dinner. Three or less, it may as well be empty. That way survivors have two choices: stay on their own, or trust that there's safety in numbers. Just like a real zombie film! Will this provide tense moments when a stranger arrives and tips the balance from safety to danger, and the moral choices could tear our survivors apart before one of them realises it's just a game and shoots the guy dead? Oooh, I hope so!

If a building is ruined, the threshold is 0 survivors. That's right, bucko, if a single human is inside a ruined building, the zombies are gonna know about it. So don't do it. It's retarded anyway. Go find a Goddamn junkyard or something.

Hit Rates

The starting zombie hit rates are atrocious, and are the main reason why many new zombies quit the game. In principle, in an MMO the higher level you are the more difficult things are supposed to get, to increase the challenge as you become more powerful. In Urban Dead, everything gets easier. Like, way easier.

Solution: Increase the starting hit rates by 10%.

That would see starting zombies have a 45% chance to hit with their hand attacks, a better rate even with the unpredictable RNG. Finding survivors and bringing down barricades is already a massive waste of AP, with low-level zombies sometimes spending days trying to find a target, often starting their day spending a whole 10-15AP to stand up. Giving them a better chance at dealing damage would give a quicker return of XP per AP spent, and maybe stop them from considering the game to be massively slanted against them (which, to be fair, it is) and quitting.

An increase of 10% would make the top zombie attack a 60% chance to do 3 damage - still a far cry from a survivor's 65% chance of 10 damage, but decent enough. Bite would be a 40% chance - actually worth using.

Quickly maxing out combat skills would turn zombies into lean, mean, XP-gaining machines who would then be able to easily gain all the other skills necessary for fun and frolics. Provided, of course, that they could find a ready supply of survivors just sleeping in the gutters. Otherwise it's just more days of fruitlessly hammering on barricades.

Inherent Digestion

Digestion, as a skill, is pretty worthless and only useful as a stepping stone to Infectious Bite. This basically means it's 200XP to get to one of the more useful skills in the zombie arsenal (one that's somewhat neutered by the fact that if it was any easier to find FAKs, you'd be able to find two with 1 AP). In any case, infections can stop survivors from killing you (as quickly) or rebarricading (as quickly), so it's a nice skill to have.

Once, of course, you've also got Neck Lurch so it's not an absolute waste of time trying to hit. And probably Tangling Grasp, too. You can miss up to 20 times in a row even with 30% to hit (which isn't "bad luck", it's "shitty coding") which means that having to spend 400XP on a skill that might work occasionally is utter bullshit.

Solution: Scrap Digestion.

Make its effects inherent to the zombie - all bites, from the start, give back health. Move Infectious Bite down to where Digestion was, and now you only have to spend 300XP to be able to infect people. Or perhaps only 200XP, if the RNG ever starts generating random numbers for real.

More Experience

Zombies have one basic way of gaining experience - hitting stuff. Hitting survivors provides experience. Hitting generators and radio transmitters provides experience. Hitting barricades provides experience. Hitting things to ransack a building provides experience - but just barely.

Solution: More varied ways to earn XP.

Giving 1XP per level of ransack, with a 5XP bonus for getting in the ruin (rather than just 1XP for ruining a building), would give zombies a reason to buy Ransack besides messing with survivors. A low-level zombie could buy Ransack to ensure that opening an empty building wouldn't only give a small handful of experience for smashing the barricades, but an extra 10XP on top of that.

Barricades should give 3XP per level, not one. Lone zombies do not often get any eats out of bringing down barricades. If they manage to get in somehow, and haha good fuckin' luck with that, then what can they do? Make a few attacks, possibly groan? Then when they log in later, they've either been headshot or beaten to the kill - either way all they have is the XP from bashing the barricades. So let's up that a bit, make it so breaking into a building isn't a worthless chore.

Giving a flat 10XP bonus for infecting a survivor (and only survivors, not zombies) instead of the usual 4XP from damage dealt would also give mid-level zombies a way to progress faster. It would be a one-time deal, any further bites would not give the same bonus. It would encourage feral zombies to infect survivors and help them progress faster than they otherwise would.

The new, practically worthless "Bellow" skill could be put to some use - 5XP the first time you bellow. That'd be a sweet little reward for managing to find a large group of survivors and lasting long enough to alert your fellow undead about it. Perhaps 1XP per first-groan as well? That would be useful.

If blood smears were implemented properly, as they should be, you could get XP for defacing buildings like malls, hospitals and other traditional "safehouses". That'd help provide a little bonus to those zombies wandering the empty streets with nothing but ruined buildings and extremely heavily barricaded safehouses around.

Protection

Survivors, mostly being one big happy family of like-minded assholes, protect each other. A survivor who gets attacked will be healed, if he's lucky. If he's not, and gets killed, he has to endure the horror of being a zombie for the fives minutes it'll take for him to get a revive so he will never, ever have to soil himself by playing as "the enemy".

Zombies don't get the same deal when it comes to co-operation. Zombies cannot heal each other, and "de-viving" a comrade involves burning all your AP on killing him - and finding a window to jump out of can take just as much AP thanks to the overbarricading of the city. Zombies basically stand about in big groups for one reason: to be a herd. Because when big survivor man comes out and headshots three zombies with his impeccable hit rates and superior damage, those three might not be you.

Solution: Better benefits for being in a horde.

If you're dead and there are 20+ zombies in the same square as you, standing up takes 1AP. Always. Regardless of ankle grab status or whether you've been headshot: 1AP. The survivor solution is, then, to make sure they kill enough zombies to make sure there's 20 or less so their headshots count.

Every hour you spend in a group of 20+ zombies, you gain 4HP. Unless you're at full health, of course.

A survivor taking non-combat actions (ie, not directly shooting, stabbing or punching the zombies) when in the same square as 20+ zombies carries a 10% risk of becoming infected. Speaking would not count as a non-combat action, so you survivors would still be able to roleplay to your heart's content. But barricading the building would count, meaning you'd better kill the zombies before trying that. If killing 20+ zombies seems like an impossible task, then there's always the choice of running away.

While in a horde of 20+ zombies, your damage increases by 1. So max-level attacks would be 5/4, rather than 4/3. Bite attacks would be affected by flak jackets, making it 4/4 for most cases, but whatever - not everyone has a flak jacket. This damage increase would also increase experience gain, of course, prompting zombies to stick together and not wander off by themselves.

Ruined Buildings

It takes a zombie 6AP to ruin a building, and it takes a survivor 1AP to repair it. Seriously? Seriously? So a building has to be ruined for a week before our happy little survivor has to spend as much AP as our miserable little zombie? Bullshit. Retaking ruined buildings should be a case of multiple survivors being forced to work together, not some asshole strolling in with a toolkit and patching the place up in five fucking seconds.

Solution: It should cost 5AP to repair a building, plus the 1AP bonus for every day it stays ruined.

Searching a ruined building, for whatever retarded reason anyone could possibly have to do such a thing, should carry a small chance (let's say 15%) of hurting yourself for 3HP. There's all kinds of things in desolate buildings that could hurt you, after all: broken glass, exposed wiring, upturned hairbrushes, etc. etc. etc. and so forth. Survivors will still be able find items in a ruined building, of course, but they'll also be able to hurt themselves in the process. The zombie apocalypse needs more risks, more solutions to outright stupidity.

Speech

Zombie speech is unintelligible and runs your input text through such an overzealous filter than your meaning can't be even guessed at unless you specifically use only the letters you're allowed. Really? Seriously? This is a thing that has to happen? Christ, dude, this is bullshit.

Solution: Zombie speech only appears "translated" to the living.

Zombies should be able to understand other zombies in plain text. I literally could not give a shit if this ruins your precious verisimilitude at playing pretend zombie apocalypse. This isn't a Goddamn simulation of the end of days as spurted out gloriously from George Romero's sweaty ballsack on all of your dumb fucking faces. This is a game. Games are supposed to be fun. Trying your fucking best to co-ordinate your team against the enemy through singsong and pantomime like a fucking hippy communicating through the medium of interpretive dance is not fun.

Zombie Clothes

Zombies can't change their clothes. Why? Because verisimilitude! It's not a perfect simulation of a real zombie apocalypse if zombies can change their clothes, therefore heh Smugface.gif

Solution: Zombies can change their clothes to special zombie clothes.

Look, I am not a complicated person. I want gothic lolita clothes to dress my character in. I want to be able to lurch my stupid zombie ass into a ruined building and be able to change my outfit as a zombie and dress in gothic lolita clothes because GIVE ME SOME FUCKING GOTHIC LOLITA OUTFITS FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

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