User:Sheling/The Orzo Nacrima Award

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Wheelchair.jpg The Orzo Nacirema Award
sheling Has nominated Orzo Nacrima for the Orzo Nacirema Award, to commemorate their woeful ineptitude at PKing. But hey, keep trying! And remember, even if you succeed, you'll always be a loser in our eyes.


The Orzo Nacrima Award (The Orzo) was created to exemplify, mock and tease those people who wish to play the game as PKers, but do so very, very badly. The award design was created by Nitro378, and the original article and "tone" set by sheling, the OOC handle of a player based out of Vinetown.

The first award was given mainly as a way of satirising poor planning, strategy and execution by means of writing a long, semi-professional UD wiki entry and then suggesting that Orzo be commemorated as Malton's Worst Ever PKer. It wasn't until she started receiving feedback from many different places that sheling realised that the award itself had value in a game where PKing makes boys feel like men and GKing seems to be an acceptable -if lame- profession.

Why The Chair?

Orzo Nacrima stated to his former group, The Blackhawk Nation, that he wished to make the game more "fun". To achieve this, he decided to embark on a spree of stabbing children, ransacking generators and hounding the local Vinetown population with poorly-typed threats and not enough ammunition. However, instead of applying his ingeniously poor PKing skills to his former group, the BHN, he instead decided to "attack" (i.e. stab in the shoulder a couple of times before barking something lame and running away)) members of an affiliated Vinetown group, M.E.R.C.Y., focusing especially on Sister Rita and a child-character with close ties to the group, Ivy Young.

At that time, the group were largely operating out of Gelasius General Hospital, a resource building which is generally kept lit and equipped with a radio transmitter that is used and maintained by M.E.R.C.Y. among other local groups and individuals. The use of the wheelchair as the graphic is to convey -mainly to anyone in the Vinetown vicinity- that the presence of Orzo inside a hospital should lead the witness to conclude that, unusually, Orzo is a patient and not a visitor.

The Spirit of the Award

PKing in Malton is one thing. PKing so badly that you manage to stab your victim a single time before resorting to attacking a generator is all together another. To date, Orzo has been shot and killed (and then somehow revived) no less than 9 times. And he's still going. This belligerence demonstrates two things:

  • That Orzo has too much free time on his hands.
  • The PKing this sort of player is ineffective as one is simply feeding their requirement for attention.

Therefore, a new way must be found to deal with these morons who can't even manage to murder another player who is already on half-health in an abandoned building. Publicising failure seemed the route to take, and the interest the award has already begun to generate serves to underline the fact that there are many, many players who are getting a touch tired of seeing these brainless time wasters running about like retarded children at a birthday party.

This manner of behaviour is insulting; to zombies, to PKers and to survivors alike. These three types of player all have their own opinions on each other, but one thing is for certain - our game would be very different if a corner of this finely-balanced triangle were to vanish. Not so with the Orzos of Malton were to be sucked up, spat out and trampled upon. Indeed, the three player types in Malton would probably find life much more enjoyable in such circumstances:

  • Zombies would find buildings reliably lit and 'caded. And we all know how zombies love to tear apart organised survivor groups.
  • PKers are generally fairly proud of what they do, some of them going to great lengths to announce their kills and steel their reputations. Players like Orzo undo all that fine handiwork by making them look like children.
  • Players won't need to install seven generators to the same hospital in a 12 hour period and can get on with the job of making lovely strong barricades for the zombies to break down again.

Therefore, this award is devoted to the spirit of the game; a passive way of dealing with the morons who don't want to be a survivor but don't quite have the stones or the smarts to properly PK.

How To Nominate

It's quite simple; place a reply on this page where you state your nomination. Make sure you mention your name, the name of your nomination and the suburb where the jackassery usually takes place. It doesn't require screen shots or a rogues gallery acknowledgment, just a brief and ideally humourous description of why your nominee is up for the award. If you're truly dedicated, make a page devoted to your nominee, or do a quick search for their name and drop the award on each page that the name appears.

Do bear in mind that this isn't a tactic to name and shame players; this is not a way to advertise for PKers - the Rogues Gallery already carries details of PKers and bounty hunters. This is not a replica tool; this is a passive way to poke gentle fun at players who consistently fail to achieve anything beyond cheesy threats and stab wounds.

And the Winners Are!

Wheelchair.jpg The Orzo Nacirema Award
<name> Has nominated <name> for the Orzo Nacirema Award, to commemorate their woeful ineptitude at PKing. But hey, keep trying! And remember, even if you succeed, you'll always be a loser in our eyes.