Church of New Eden

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Clock.png Historical Group
This historical group is no longer active. However, its wiki page is preserved to reflect the group's significance in Urban Dead history.

Welcome to the Church of New Eden.png

Church of New Eden
Church of New Eden logo.jpg
Abbreviation: CoNE
Group Numbers: 10-20
Leadership: None
Goals: Enjoyment of all aspects of UrbanDead
Recruitment Policy: Open to everyone, just use Church of New Eden as your group affiliation
Contact: None

The Church of New Eden consists of a group of players who believe that one of the major creative achievements of UrbanDead, over other massively multiplayer games, is that the players are periodically forced to 'switch sides'. These players play both Zombie and Human roles with equal gusto. They have found that many other player groups have a large percentage "hardcore" players, who are highly dedicated to playing either human or zombie characters and seek to revert to their orginal type as soon as possible when they are killed or revived. Some Church of New Eden members find this type of play to be immature. In an effort to "enlighten" other players as to the virtues of a more balanced player mentality, Church of New Eden members pose as cult-like religious fanatics and try and "recruit" new members from within the game.


On September 20th, 2005, Zark the Damned contributed a discussion about the "Death Cultist" character class on the Suggestions page which pre-dates the creation of this page by 8 days. The Church of Eden was founded without prior knowledge of this discussion.

Invitation to Join

Beings of Malton! Whether you be HUMAN or " ZOMBIE", a NEW AGE is upon us !!!

Malton is a dangerous place! At any moment you may be revived! At any moment you may die! It is never too late to consider following our TEACHINGS!

We are on the verge of the next GREAT STEP UP the evolutionary LADDER, and this step is a step onto an ESCALATOR to a SHINING future.

Our SPECIES has undergone a GLORIOUS TRANSFORMATION that has enabled us to TRANSCEND DEATH and TRANSCEND LIFE as well!

The effects of the EXALTED VIRUS have enabled our frail CORPOREAL vessels to be transformed into SACRED IMMORTAL beings. And equally BLESSED, the NecroTech HOLY ELIXIR has bestowed upon us, in IMMORTAL form, the DIVINE gift of rebirth!

No longer will the CHAIN that links life to death BIND us! The chain has been BROKEN!!! The ETERNAL WHEEL has been forged!

In NEW EDEN, the GRAND CYCLE is that of DEATH and REBIRTH, and RE- DEATH and RE- REBIRTH !!!!

We have become a NEW Life Form, with a LIFE CYCLE superior to all OTHERS!

No More Hiding! No more Fear! No more scrounging for first aid kits! No more jumping out of windows after being REBORN!!!


Alleluja Brothers and Sisters! We are THE RIGHTIOUS, we SHALL prevail!

If you have ever DIED or if you have ever been REVIVED, you are ALREADY part of the DIVINE CIRCLE! REVEL IN IT!

Primary Teachings

Church of New Eden logo.jpg

Secondary Teachings

  • Eschew out-of-game communication (this wikipage excepted) - please spread the WORD within Malton!
  • We find the term 'Zombie' to be disrespectful and denigrating. We favor the term SACRED IMMORTAL BEING.
  • We are devoted to the elimination of BRAIN ROT - This UNHOLY disease interrupts the grand cycle of death and rebirth. Our scientists are researching a cure.
  • DO NOT request medical assistance - this only delays the transformation to your SACRED IMMORTAL form.
  • DO NOT wear FLAK JACKETS - you are beyond suffering, bring on the pain!
  • REFRAIN from giving medical assistance - this is not a strict rule, in spreading the WORD, adherents may seek experience to gain such abilities as Tagging, Free Running, and Lab Experience.
  • REFRAIN from taking refuge when you sleep - REVEL in the knowledge that your suffering enhances the experience of others, thus turns the ETERNAL WHEEL.
  • DO NOT jump out of windows upon being REBORN - Instead, spend your time spreading the GOOD NEWS!
  • DO however take the PREACHING of the WORD seriously. Because tagging and speaking are much easier in HUMAN form, some efforts in remaining HUMAN in SERVICE to SPREADING the WORD are forgivable.
  • DO look favorably upon being revived - with each rebirth, delight in another turn of the ETERNAL WHEEL.
  • DO engange in MERCIFUL violence - BLESSED are those that AID their brethren along the PATH of the DIVINE CIRCLE.
  • We encourage Gratuitous and ANNOYING usage of upper-case Characters and EXCLAMATION marks!!! (wherever possible) It helps us project a KOOKY, Cult-Like Aura!

For a Good Time Call

In the interest of fostering inter-personal communication within Malton, the CHURCH OF NEW EDEN provides this bulletin board for members to post their mobile phone numbers.

26 58 37

Please do not take it personally if a member does not respond to your message. He or she could be in a suburb with a non-functioning mobile phone mast, he or she could be dead, or maybe he or she doesn't find you attractive and "just wants to be friends" (the kind that never talk to each other.)


We have waited from time immemorable for THESE events to transpire. The Buddhists and Hindus in THE EAST have long recounted the DIVINE CIRCLE of life and death in their HOLY TEXTS. However, this SACRED KNOWLEDGE has been all but forgotten by the faiths of THE WEST. But NO MORE! As it has been foretold in the first book of the Torah (Old Testament) - revered by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike:

Genesis 3:
22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, 
   to know good and evil:  and now, lest he put forth his hand, 
   and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
23 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, 
   to till the ground from whence he was taken.
24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden 
   of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, 
   to keep the way of the tree of life.

Brothers and Sisters, when we ate of the TREE OF KNOWLEGE, we became SENTIENT and were cast from the GARDEN of EDEN. Now we have EATEN from the TREE OF LIFE!!! WE have eaten that we may LIVE FOREVER!! We have re-entered the GARDEN, a NEW garden, a NEW EDEN. Alleluja Brothers and Sisters! MALTON is our NEW EDEN !!!

Pickup Lines

Examples that may be used to recruit new members:

Things TO SAY to HUMANS:

      Greetings Friends! Have you heard the GOOD NEWS? There is a way 
      out. Join us in New Eden! 
      Alleluja Brothers and Sisters! FEAR NOT, redemption is neigh. 
      Follow me to
      Hi There! Have you ever thought much about the after-life? These 
      are difficult times. I'd like to invite YOU to SERVICES at 
      Hey Dude, there are like 5 SACRED IMMORTALs outside. The END 
      may be neigh. Visit 
      before ALL is LOST. Praise the HOLY ELIXIR!

Things TO SAY to IMMORTAL BEINGS (besides Graagh grrrh brnhr grh grh. Yeah, we heard that one already):

      Greetings Immortal Brothers and Sisters! Have you given much 
      thought to what you will do when you get revived? Consider coming 
      to services at 
      Praise the EXHALTED VIRUS!
      DEATH is not the END my FRIEND. A new LIFE awaits you in NEW EDEN. Embrace YOUR DESTINY!
      Tired of hanging with a bunch of DEAD BEATS? Make new FRIENDS at Spread THE WORD!


Catchy Slogans

To be spray painted on the walls and in the halls of Malton!
Live LIFE! Live DEATH! 
Spread the GOOD NEWS! 
Praise the HOLY ELIXIR
NEW EDEN: Right Here, Right Now!
BLESSED BE THE eternal wheel! (or divine circle) (or grand cycle)

Let the WORD move YOU!


CHAIN OF LIFE - The old dogma that DEATH follows LIFE and that they are inseparably bound together. Replaced by the DIVINE CIRCLE.

DIVINE CIRCLE (ETERNAL WHEEL, GRAND CYCLE) - Awarness of the ability to transform from IMMORTAL to HUMAN and back again in a never ending cycle.

EXALTED VIRUS - The infectious blessing bestowed upon us that allows us to transform from HUMAN to IMMORTAL form.

GLORIOUS TRANSFORMATION - Gaining the ability to be transformed from HUMAN to IMMORTAL to HUMAN again. This is not the end! This is the new beginning!

THE GOOD NEWS (THE WORD) - The teachings of the Church of New Eden. To accept and bask in the glory of the DIVINE CIRCLE.

HOLY ELIXIR - Also known as ' revivification serum', the blessing bestowed upon us that transforms us from IMMORTAL to HUMAN form. Often found in syringes in NecroTech buildings.

IMMORTAL BEING - Also know (to the small minded) as a 'ZOMBIE'.

NEW EDEN - Our paradise on Earth, formerly known as Malton.

REBIRTH - Also known as 'revivification', the transformation from IMMORTAL back to HUMAN form.

TREE OF LIFE - That of which we have (figuratively) eaten to attain immortality. See Genesis 3:22-24



The PROPHETS of the CHURCH of EDEN wander Malton spreading the WORD. We do not have a home base, but if we did we suppose it would be the Eden Library [18, 27] in Chudleyton. Okay, it ain't a church, but we ain't complainin'.