Hildebrand Horde
| Hildebrand Horde | |
| |
| Abbreviation: | Zambah Gang |
| Group Numbers: | 2 |
| Leadership: | Zambahz haz gang! |
| Goals: | Zmazh ahn ranzag |
| Recruitment Policy: | Mah zambahz |
| Contact: | Hazzah! |
Zambahz Haz Gang
The year was 2010, early February. In those days Wayne Rooney was a disgruntled slave wage, the Gulf of Mexico was best known for its lovely beaches, and a google search of the phrase "meat dress" would yield various basting recipes. It was a time of innocence and barbarity, of vague uncertainty and shocking clarity.
Around this time a small cadre of zombies were laying siege to Hildebrand Mall. Sparse in numbers, and forced to spend most of their time outside of the barricades, two of these zombies began to voice their frustration using Death Rattle.
These two zombies were Braino and Gyles Zednik. Bonded by the common experience of daily headshots and longing for tasty brainz, the two zombies became familiar with each other and would often speak of their experiences using a bastardized form of zombie dialect.
"Ah nah. Harmanz haz ma!!" remarked Braino on one occasion.
"Ah mah gahd. Gahmahn zambahz. Zmazh zah barragadz!" urged Zednik, gesturing to the mall.
They would often gesticulate furiously and impart various pearls of wisdom. Eventually they were able to convey reasonably complex concepts to each other through their limited vocabularies. And then a funny thing happened. One day Zednik awoke to the sound of a familiar groan and found that 1 member of his horde was nearby.
This was remarkable because neither Braino nor Zednik had ever communicated to the other the desire to form a zombie horde, and yet as they shambled through the mall nahming on dissatisfied customers it became clear that these two zeds had become more than just ferals. They had become greater than the sum of their broken and bloodied parts. They had become The Hildebrand Horde! HAZZAH MAH ZAMBAHZ!!!!
About the Gang
As the Hildebrand Horde emerged spontaneously in-game through only the use of Death Rattle, they have never established any rules or hierarchy. Are they recruiting? Who knows. What do they want? Brainz, probably. Where are they now? Hildebrand Mall would be my guess. What does the future hold? Don't get philosophical with me, asshole.
