January 11th: Initial Negotiations
Another day, another battle in the ongoing struggle for pay equity for entertainment workers!!
Dhave Grohl and one of his cretins set the tone for our initial negotiations last night by viciously murdering yours truly. You said to me, in typical "The Man's keeping us Down" fashion:
- "Sarah Silverman, you are hereby executed for crimes against TZH. Your comedy routine is sub par, you're lucky you're totally fucking hot. Smoking. Just in case you didn't know, war with us = stupid. This is a taste of what you'll get forever. BTTW!!!"
Wow, let's examine everything wrong with that statement:
- You insult my comedy. That's no way to start a negotiation, Dhave! I'm certainly enjoying myself!
- You sexually harass me. While I'm sure you hope I'll be flattered, spare me your lewd comments you greasy haired freak! I didn't bust my ass from being a writer on SNL to doing a bunch of second class movies to finally getting some professional respect only to be reduced to my bra size! I KNOW I'm fucking hot - and I don't need vermin like you telling me so. Secondly, in a business context, it's harassment, and it's against the law.
- This isn't WAR Dhave, it's a worker's movement. There need be no further issue if you'll just meet our terms.
- BTTW - I assume this is your rally cry, "Balls to the Whals"? I'm just going to say briefly: Sad. Oh and if you like acronyms so much, here's one for you:
- D, TJSC - TAOOY. Which of course stands for - "Dhave, the jerk store called - they are out of you."
Well, we're ready for such dastardly tactics - such union busting, strike breaking dirty dealings! Next you'll be bringing in scabs to fight your battles for you! In any case, it was nice of you to stay at the very same negotiating table after concluding the repression of the common entertainer. I returned and said:
- "I received your fax about an invitation to discuss terms Dave, but it was unacceptable. Please try to stay on topic. Your offer was, frankly, insulting to the writers of America. SOLIDARITY!!"
Then of course I executed you. We can go round and round like this Dhave. DHHHAHAHAHAAAVE. Man, it sounds like I've got too much phlegm in my throat when I say that or something. DHAAAAAAAAAAWKKKKK - patoooie! My how unladylike, but boy does that feel better. Dhawwwhkave, how about you just start meeting our demands and we can end this nasty business?
Surely the people of SW Malton won't sympathize with the "man" over those that entertain them so?
I broadcast this this morning on local Frequencies:
- People of SW Malton - Sarah Silverman here again...
- The strike continues - Team Zombie Hardcore is extra nasty!!
- Send your message of support for the Writers!
- Punch a member of TZH in the face today! Let them
- Know that you won’t stand for their greedy ways!
- The LNTVC is fighting for YOU – show your support!
- Team Zombie Hardcore Leader Dhavid Grohl hates
- Freedom. He wants to kill your puppy and make you
- Watch reality TV. Tell them to end the strike! Meet the
- Demands of the LNTVC!
- What do we want? FAIR WAGES!
- What do we want? FAIR WAGES!
- Who's to Blame? TEAM ZOMBIE HARDCORE!
- What should we do? PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE!!
- What should we do? PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE!!
- Stay strong Brozahs and Siztahs! Silverman out - Kiss kiss!
Stephen Colbert speaks!!
Yesterday afternoon, I was strolling about in North Blythville and ran into this TZH member, tenamautomatic. With the writers on strike, I had nothing clever to say as I PK'd him. This situation MUST stop! I can't be out there PK'ing people without a clever quip. Who's going to read my mind and transcribe it into clever words that I can then read back as I punt some useless survivor back to the ranks of the "Mrh? Cows"? --Stephen Colbert DFA 19:39, 11 January 2008 (UTC)
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