February 1st, 2013 - We're Getting the Band Back together...
As all of Malton knows, in the immortal words of Donald "Duck" Dunn, "We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline." We're not really on a mission from God, but at least to improve our ratings. Or maybe I'll get to fuck Matt Damon again.
This to say: we're back. Jimmy's up (well, not currently - Zoomy killed him yesterday), Stephen's up, and Triumph is nearby. So while I haven't had time yet to really clean up this place, I will start sharing some of our good times.
Carolina Cross is one of my new favorite people. I'm bummed I can't remember what I said to her. But she's the bestest in my book:
I killed Zoomy again today. Here are the highlights:
I'm going to put this identical content up on the LNTVC page. This will be my last cross link. I'm realizing I should update there again now, if others are awake.
Kiss kiss!
February 8th, 2013 - ANNNNNNND.... We're Back!
Wow, that was one LONG commercial break, eh folks? I'm pleased to restore this page to it's former... uh, mediocrity. We'll get on that maybe at some point. But at least our history is here again, and those silly colors of the The New Valk page are gone. For those wanting to see that (though I kind of ruined it, here's a link:
LNTVC's New Lockettside Valkyrie's Campaign
That was fun while it lasted.
So, up next we've got a new program laid out for you. Remember way back in early 2008 when Team Zombie Hardcore caused the Entertainment Write's Strike? Yeah, that sucked. We were beset with all sorts of bad reality TV, and lots of great folks in Hollywood had to switch to the cheaper kind of caviar, and only buy hookers and blow once a week instead of three.
Here's some of the [January 10th: End the Writer's Strike and stop Team Zombie Hardcore!!|history] of that effort.
Well, thank you fans in Malton for a great campaign then to punish the loser Mark Whalberg and his idiot minions for degrading Malton's entertainment.
Thankfully, Golam of the Philosophe Knights kept up the pressure to excise this horrible blight on Malton society. Here is a great accounting of those efforts.
Sadly, we've now learned that TZH is working with dark and powerful forces in Malton, like The Koch Brothers and Justin Bieber to ensure that next season there is nothing but crap like Honey Boo Boo and "I just shat a marble" on television.
They Must Be STOPPED!
So, once again fair citizens of Malton - we call on you to help us punish every member of Team Zombie Hardcore you see.
If you're so inclined, kill one of them.
If that's not your style, YOU CAN STILL HELP - just punch any member you see in the face and say, "I want quality TV in Malton!"
That's all it takes.
Thanks, and watch this space for more updates!!
Oh, and in case you need another reason to hate TZH, remember when Mark Whalberg said this about how he'd have been able to prevent 9/11?:
“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did,” he tells the magazine. “There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’” [1]?
Remember when he fucked a bear revealing he's a dirty furry fetisher?
Let's teach theses un-Maltonian bastards a lesson.
Kiss kiss, and it's good to be back!
--Sarah Silverman 15:00, 8 February 2013 (UTC)
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