February 14, 2013 – Happy Valentines Day!
I’ve got lots to tell you guys about! It’s been a pretty great week or so.
First, a whole bunch of the Late Night TV Crue has come out of retirement! Stephen Colbert is running – or I guess I should say shambling – around again (Thanks to Zoomy – but more on her later), as is Jimmy Kimmel, lovable old fat guy that he is! I’ve been in contact with Sheila Brovlofsky, but I’m not sure if she’s awake or not yet, or if she really will. Triumph the Dog is also out there too!
Plus – we’ve attracted TWO new members! I have no idea if they want to be publicly associated with us, so I won’t shout them out by name. They can feel free to add anything they like here.
I’ve been doing a lot of broadcasting to get our message of accountability out against those rat-bastard Team Zombie Hardcore fuckwads. Let me catch you up:
So, here I tell Malton what's up, and hope everyone will join in the fun. IT'S NOT TOO LATE! SEND A SCREENIE OF YOU PUNCHING A TZH MEMBER! PLEASE!!
Then, Dhave Grohl finally woke up, and whined like a little girl on my talk page, and then again on his own page: Read about scared Dhave here! So, after Dhave ran and hid, I found Mike Smith - who is so scared he won't fly [Team Zombie Hardcore]] as his group name. So he became our first demonstration. Our 'opening salvo' if you will.
Next we found out just how deep this rabbit hole goes. They want to cancel a ZOMBIE BASED TV SHOW? If this doesn't get you off your couches and move you to support our action in meaningful and measurable ways Malton, I don't know what will!
One of our new members visited the Malton College of Medicine in St. George's Hospital (Greentown) and punched BuckNaked Jihad in the face. Again, I'm obscuring his name because he may be on the down low for now. But here's the courageous act:
Which earns him a lecture from QBee, but it was probably worth it. It'd be worth it if YOU did it too.
Then, Triumph also visited the Malton College of Medicine in St. George's Hospital (Greentown). He shared with me the following monologue he gave against BuckNaked Jihad, who apparently just sits there all day pulling his pud watching Nurses run around, taking advantage of their non-violence policy.
- Ah, the venerable Malton College of Medicine's Headquarters.
- This is a nice Hospital.. FOR ME TO POOP ON!
- Heh. I keed, I keed. I see you let some of that Team Zombie Crusty-Poopcore riffraff hang out here.
- You really should have higher standards...
- BuckNaked Jihad must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen.. I mean, Out of 100,000 sperm, THIS GUY was the fastest?
- Right? When BuckNaked Jihad was born, the police arrested his dad, the doctor slapped his mom, animal control euthanized his brother, and A&E made a documentary that saved his life.
- Ah yes, but you have a no-violence policy here. I will honor this. But know that BuckNaked's group stands for crappy TV in Malton.
- They must be punished. And they will be. And it will be entertaining.
- So those of you who can stand maybe just a LEETLE violence, punch these guys in the face when you see them for us... Much appreciated.
- Now, please excuse me while I lick myself for a while.
Go get 'em Triumph!!
And then most recently, I found Jayne Cobb and made an example of him. Here's hoping the message sinks in.
In the WTF?? Department:
BOY! My talk page has really lit up lately. Some guy named Blazing arrow reminded me that he probably, maybe killed me once.
Thanks for that, Blazing arrow. I'll treasure the memory. Really.
Then I heard on the radio this weird challenge thingy:
The MacMillan Library? As in, the one in Randallbank? Um, that's a bit far away from my current base of operations, whoever you are. Oh by the way, WHO ARE YOU? Not very tough to issue a challenge on the radio, but not say your name... So sorry, I won't be hauling my cookies across Malton for a blind date with a jackass.
Finally - ZOOMY showed back up on my page. And she's TRENCHY now. Stripped of her group by our efforts way back with the New Lockettside Valkyries, she's out of high school, she's appealed for reinstatement on the wiki, and returned for vengeance! Here's hoping that's entertaining. She's still within 4 moves of St. Alexanders in Lockettside inside Sankey Bank. Anyone who wants to power that up for us to make it easier to kill her, that help would be most appreciated. Again, send me a Dumwit and I'll give you credit here.
We also have a new | forum! Stop by and say hello, or visit any talk page on the wiki that is associated here.
I think that's it for now! An upgrade to this page is still in the works - so stay tuned! Thanks for listening Malton - we love you so. Except you, you dirty Team Zombie Hardcore types. We're coming for you.
Tonight's Episode's Kills:
- http://urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=34717%7C Mike Smith] Taunt: "Mike! I didn't realize before that you were a thinly veiled deluded disciple of Mark and Dhave! I hereby execute you in the name of quality TV in Malton! Your Balls are Smahlls! Kiss kiss, Love Sarah!" Taunt Kill: Kill
- Jayne M. Cobb Taunt: "Jayne, stop trying to cancel all the good shows on TV!!!" Taunt Kill: Kill
More Valentine's Day! -- V4por Tells Jokes!
Finally, for a Valentine's day comedy nightcap, V4por takes the mic at St Geroge's Hospital.
- You say "I hope you're all enjoying the entertainment. I hear that Mark Whalberg was arrested yesterday after stealing several blow-up dolls."
- You say "The police had no problem catching him because he was completely out of breath"
- You say "And did you hear that Tom Cruise's attorney has said he will sue anyone claiming he is gay?"
- You say "In related news, BuckNaked Jihad's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion"
- You say "And how about that Dhave Grohl? If I found him floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog"
- You say "But man does he sure have a following. It's the damnedest thing. It's like he's the stupid person's idea of a clever person."
|
