Pitman Pitbulls/News Archive

• 23rd Dec Mansion Broken into by zombies, blood is spilt.
• 26th Dec Drathe Kills an already beaten Dr Von Evil of the Pitman Terror Squad.
• 28th Dec Lord Pitman himself was taken out in the Mansion by Leon Burdy.
• 29th Dec Archer44 has returned, we all thought he was never comming back, the Pitbulls are one again. George Donetme is now one of us.
• 1st Jan Happy new year Pitbulls... Lets see if we can live to see this one out
• 3rd Jan The Pitbulls have left the Mansion to stock up on supplies as zombies over run the building.
• 5th Jan Pitbulls have returned home to an Empty Mansion.
• 8th Jan The Mansion has fallen into Zombie hands, Pitbulls loose good friends.
• 12th Jan LordPitman was beaten up and thrown outside of the Necrotech building By Drathe
• 14th Jan Leon Burdy returns from the dead, clears out the mansion of the last zombie, mops the floors and Fabreezes the upholstery of zombie funk before rebarricading with Lord Pitman's collection of gay porn. It was a large collection.
• 17th Jan A stand-off between the Pitbulls and Popsy Bubbles ends with no shots fired but plenty of profanity.
• 22nd Jan The mansion fell again but has now been cleared of zombies and rebarricaded.
• 23rd Jan A zombified Lord Pitman is caught breaking into the mansion to recover some of his more choice "russian boy" movies.
• 26th Jan The Red Joey gave Lord Pitman's walking carcase a damn good thrashing
• 9th Feb A major attack on Calvert Mall by zombies claims the lives of several brave Pitbulls.
• 12th Feb - Operation Pit-Slap: the Pitbulls retake the mansion.
• 17th Feb - After repeated attacks all week, the mansion remains in Pitbull hands and the Pitman Terror Squad is stacked like firewood outside. Pitbulls are beginning to plant a little garden around them using their decomposing corpses as fertilizer.
• 24th Feb - After near constant attack on the mansion, the Pitbulls remain in complete control. It seems the locals are looking to them as local hometown heroes.
• 16th March - Brian Fantana has been slain. The brave Pitbull has set out into the ravaged city, perhaps to see what it's like on the other side of death.
• 18th March - The mansion has fallen to the PTS. Leon broke in on their tea party with the treacherous Babette3 and put rounds into Dreadamp, CRG8 and Baron Von Evil. The Pitbulls will return.
• 19th March - Operation Liberated Doghouse: Leon and Godamsmack broke in on the PTS tea party and gunned down CRG8, Dreadamp and the treacherouse Babette3. Lord Pitman and Baron Von Evil escaped our wrath, but their time to breath through human lungs remains short. The Pitbulls are on the scent.
• 25th March - Following up on Operation Liberated doghouse, all of the PTS have been hunted down and are either dead or undead. Brain Fantana remains MIA and is presumed shambling.
• 3rd April - Operation Clearance Sale: The Pitman Pitbulls remain active in the defence of Calvert Mall having abandoned their mansion home after the last PTS breakin. Their supply of Cheetos was deemed to be too important to risk being cut off by the zombie hordes from the south. They will resume their war with the PTS in time; Leon in particular is backed-up again and ready for another flatulent showdown with Lord Pitman.
• 9 April - Operation Furious Pitbull: After their success in liberating the Calvert Mall, the Pitbulls turned their attention to liberating their home. In a coordinated assault, the Pitman Pitbulls cleared out all zombies, including PTS members, and retook their home. As part of the operation, recon patrols found and eliminated all other PTS members the day before.
• 16th May - The Pitbulls go on vacation, starting at Caiger Mall. Yes it is true folks, the Pitbulls take a holiday. After working overtime to keep Quarlesbank safe from zombie hordes, not to mention slapping down Lord Pitman and his band of spastic, mongoloids, we decided to take a little break. And simply put the PTS and its new more feminine zombie mistress squad are just not much of a challenge anymore. To celebrate our victories and take in some rest and relaxation the Pitbulls will be vacationing in the sunny, south of Malton. But don't fret, we'll be back home in several weeks. So, you PTS clowns don't make yourself too comfortable in the Pitbull Mansion. We know you will miss us, but don't worry; we'll bring you back souvenirs
• Early June - We're back from our holiday in the south, with souvenirs for all. But what happened while we were away. Zombies have over run our mansion, and are terrorizing all of Quarlesbank. Time to take out the trash.
• 28th June - The Battle of Quarlesbank still rages. Pitman mansion has remained in zed hands for several days now. Many resource buildings are under zombie siege. The situation is very dangerous. But we fight on. To aid our struggle we have revived old school Pitbull, Winston Churchill, who offers us these inspirational words. "The Battle of Quarlesbank has begun. Upon this battle depends the survival of human civilisation. Upon it depends our Pitbull way of life, and the long continuity of our alcoholic beverages, our cheesy poofs, our pursuit of leisure. The whole fury and might of the zombie has been turned on us. The zombie knows that he will have to break us in Quarlesbank. If we can stand up to him all Malton may be free, and we may move forward to tap new kegs and perhaps discover an effective hang over cure. If we fail we enter a new dark age made more sinister by the fact that zed don't eat cheesy poofs. Let us brace ourselves to our task and so bear ourselves that, if Pitman Pitbulls last for a thousand years, men will say, hey who drank my last beer?"
• 31st July - Operation Rabid Dog. After two weeks of heavy fighting the Pitbulls have secured resource buildings and revived and healed 100s of survivors. The tide is turning in the Battle of Q-Bank.
• 6th September - For all practical purposes the suburb of Quarlesbank is secure, and the Battle of Q-Bank won. Through the bravery and unwavering loyalty of all survivors we have fought back the zombie menance. Zack came, saw, and had his azz kicked. Even the infamous Pitman Terror Squad was smacked down. Lord Pitman and his mindless minions haven't been seen in weeks. Only Babette3, who currently seems to be more human than zombie, remains to harass the Pitbulls with her whining wit. Now all that remains is a renovation and remodeling of our Mansion, which is open to all survivors. Stop by for a beer.
• 3rd October - Drathe Blue has returned hot on the heels of Aristeaus to the groupe, both thier disappearances still to be accounted for. Hard times it seems have befallen the Pitbulls a few turning ferial a vicious, the sight of dead and the strain of avoiding it starting to show. They still endure to keep their morals and humanity a quality which stands them apart but let this not be known as a soft spot. Even the cutes of pups has sharp teeth.

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