Reductio ad absurdum
| Reductio ad absurdum | |
| |
| Abbreviation: | RAD |
| Group Numbers: | Sir! Revealing this information would compromise the safety of the Battlemech plans! |
| Leadership: | The Minister of Funk, The Supreme Court |
| Goals: | I had a cousin once Sir that told me that a goal was something that England would never get against the Brazilians Sir! |
| Recruitment Policy: | Sir! You must have a ridiculous name Sir! |
| Contact: | here Sir! |
Origins
The information at hand describes the beginnings of RAD as a turbulent fight between the loyalists and revolutionists, Sir. It goes on to describe the Battlemech plans that eventually allowed the eventual defeat of the loyalists at the hands of the victorious battlemech-riding revolutionists! Among the two revolutionists who eventually completed the revolution, The Minister of Funk and The Supreme Court were by far the most handsome, and therefore were declared the leaders of the society. The Minister of Funk quickly executed all those shorter than him, and is said to be quoted as saying "Just be glad I didn't do it for those taller than me." It was fortunate the wonderful minds of the Supreme Court acted quickly, measuring everyone in Metric, averting such a slaughter.
Overview
Sir! As you requested! RAD exists to serve the will of the battlemech plans Sir! The will is vast and confusing to most, but true RAD members know the true purpose of the battlemech's plans Sir! My third cousin once tried to cliff-dive sir and quite nastily bumped his head on a clam. He can now only count up to purple Sir!
Ask the battlemech plans
Common questions asked of the great battlemech plans. Sumbit yours here Sir!
I've heard the battlemech is particular about the different names one must have to join RAD, what does he need?
Sir, a most good question Sir! The battlemech plans are looking for guardians with ridiculous names Sir! He may not let you enter his guard if you do not Sir!
Oh great and powerful battlemech, tell me please when you will emerge to save us all from the undead hordes that plague us!? We have a sore need of your guidance and protection in these dark days, yours most worshipfully, Leelander Okifrabowa
Sir! The battlemech responds thusly: "I will emerge when my followers have brought this decimated city to the conditions necessary for my arrival. Their actions exist only to bring about my coming. ...I also want crumpets." So the battlemech plans spaketh! Sir! I suppose the best way to help the coming of the battlemech would be to join our great leauge Sir!!
The Constitution
The Supreme Court has ordered an independent inquiry into the mission statement. Said document was spotted discarded in a tea house in Shropshire, but evaded capture and fled the scene. It is considered armed and dangerous- Individuals are to report any sightings, and are warned not to approach it. It reads as follows:
Reductio Ad Absurdum Constitution
Article 1
This wiki page shalt be free to edit, as complying with the wishes of Napoleon:
"It has been decided that the wiki page falls under the free use agreement of 704 [AD]. Under the terms of this agreement, members of RAD can edit [this wiki page] as they wish, as long as it is ludicrous".
Art.1 Clause 1: Art 1 carries the additional clarification that:" any edits found to be making sense will be taken to Moderation as vandalism, under the rarely-used Turkey Sandwich Clause".
Article 2
The existence of Brainstock and Resense is vehemently denied. Any user found speaking about or attempting to confirm the existence of the previously mentioned entities will be placed in that particular stockroom (the one without a doorhandle on the inside) until they communicate their repentance to Damien, the pet monkey, via morse code.
Art.2 Clause 1: Damien will be fed a diet subsisting entirely of French crepes, as he has become accustomed to in his role as chief advisor to the French Foreign Legion.
Article 3
Both the Supreme Court and Napoleon, in his official role as "Minister of Funk" reserve the right to create both Articles and Clauses for the Constitution on a whim.
Art.3 Clause 1: Any amendments to the Constitution by the aforementioned parties will count as binding both post and pre-implementation.
Art.3 Clause 2: The Supreme Court reserves the right to amend the constitution both on a whim and a fancy.
Article 4
Taking the life of another person, henceforth known as Fredrickson, is acceptable only if it is taken in a manner that pleases the battlemech plans. Such manner is thusly:
- Fredrickson is killed with some hand-held weapon
- Fredrickson's kill is preceded with a witty or amusing comment directed at Fredrickson
- Fredrickson's body be presented to the grace of the battlemech plans and adorned with tidings of macaroni pictures and popcorn necklaces
- Afternoon tea must immediately follow
Art.4 Clause 1 Henceforth known as the 'low stamina kill exception,' Clause 1 explicitly states that if the target is pursued with less than five 'stamina units,' a firearm is permissible for delivering the killing blow to Fredrickson
Art.4 Clause 2 Fredrickson may be attacked to the point of near death by any means available. This Clause continues to explain that scones and week-old baguettes are the only exceptions to this rule.
Article 5
The use of medical aid known as Pastrami is henceforth banned, as the Battlemech does not require any pastrami.
Art. 5 Clause 1 When pastrami is given to you the will of the battlemech must be delivered through Fredrickson.
Art. 5 Clause 2 When giving pastrami remember that it must be put into the nest of another RAD member and that the ham standing next to him is recyclable.
Art. 5 Clause 3 Failure to follow Clause 1 and 2 of article 5 is grounds for immediate duties as a carpet.
