St. Maximillian's Church (Lamport Hills)

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St. Maximillian's Church
--VVV RPMBG 07:47, 10 July 2024 (UTC)
St. Maximillian's Church

Lamport Hills [54,3]

the Corless Arms Luckraft Avenue Clarkson Lane
a junkyard St. Maximillian's Church Trickey Lane
Bulleid Square Gillycudy Boulevard the Braddick Building

Basic Info:

  • Churches have no internal descriptions.
  • Church doors do not close but can be barricaded shut.


St Max's: home of Malton's most famous organ.

Colloquially known as St Max's, this church is located in the north-central part of Lamport Hills, one of the few historical sites left in a sea of residential areas.


The rich tapestry of St Max's medieval history, and the glory of its magnificent organ (supposedly once played by JS Bach himself), has been completely overshadowed by its horrifying role in the coming of the zombie plague to Lamport Hills and Malton as a whole.

The Lamport Hills Incident

Smedley: bastidge.

In the first years of the new millennium, Rector Cuthbert Smedley appeared to be an irreproachable pillar of the Lamport community, as staid as the suburb itself. He never had a sly snifter of the communion wine; never dipped into the collection plate offerings; never so much as patted an altar boy on the head. In short, a model of normal middle-aged celibate male behaviour.

However, this bastion turned out to be a bastidge. Smedley, once a chartered accountant by profession, was in fact defrauding the Malton Mutual Assurance pension scheme, using the same fiduciary skills that enabled him to run the parish budget so effectively for decades. These illicit gains were kept in a numbered bank account in Steeds Bank, with the complicity of the bank's eponymous owner.

Furthermore, Smedley - knowing he was suffering pancreatic cancer - used some of the money to 'induce' Dr Alexis Reed, herself once considered exemplary in her profession, to steal organs from her patients at St Adalbert's so that he could skip the transplant waiting list. The organs (including several spares) were kept in cold storage at the bank until Reed was able to perform the operation in conditions of utmost secrecy.

However, with delicious yet horrifying irony, the pancreas that Smedley received was among the first to be infected with the zombie plague, and Rector Smedley is therefore one of several named victims with a claim to being 'patient zero'.

The catastrophic error was only discovered months later, when Smedley emerged stark naked from the vestry during evensong and proceeded to savage the entire congregation of five pensioners - some of them the very people he had been surreptitiously been stealing from. He was subdued by a blow to the head with an umbrella and taken to Fenwyk Plaza PD for a night in the cells, but had already delivered a series of infectious bites. By the time police realised he was not merely drunk or deranged it was too late: he had bitten several officers, and his court appearance the following week resulted in yet more bites to officials and gawping bystanders.

Within a week those infections had blossomed into full-blown zombosis. The Lamport Hills element of the Malton outbreak was unstoppable.

Barricade Policy

It has been designated EHB by the Lamport Hills barricade plan. Tagging it earns no XP.

Current Status

The Section 13 Wolfhounds claim this area and protect as we see fit. The DEM is not welcome