The Headbangers of Malton/D.C.R. Transcript Archive
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Brought to you by The Headbangers of Malton, 28.97 on your Radio Dial!!
All Dead City Radio transcripts can be found here. If you don't see it here, I didn't broadcast it.Stickman 20:00, 31 March 2007 (BST)
Broadcast April 12, 2007
Stickman: B-JAM! You're listening to Dead City Radio, Malton's only all metal station. As always, I'm The Real Stickman, and it's time bang your heads! Tonight we're going to be talking Mosh Pit etiquette with non other than Malton's most heinous pain-in-the-ass, Neil the Scorpion. Say hi Neil!
NeilTheScorpion: Hi, Neil! Hyuk! What? That was funny!
S: Okay, so, just before we get things started, I have a request from LTC Johnny Lunchpail, he's dedicating this one to all the boys Alpha Platoon, USAI. This one's for you Alpha: The Dead Kennedys with Holiday in Cambodia!!
(discordant punk fills you with the power of anger)
S: We're back. So we're talking Mosh Pit Etiquette. Neil, how far is too far in a mosh?
NTS: Actually, Stickman, I can't say I've ever been in a mosh pit. But I'd say anyone who leaves their seat is asking for trouble.
S: Booooo! Neil, come on! You've never once gone to see your favourite band play and just gone general admission?
NTS: Sure I have, but you're not going to find a lot of moshing at a Melissa Ethridge concert.
S: I thought you liked heavy music...
NTS: Well, there are different levels of heavy. I think of Jewel's music as a pale rose drowned in tears...
S: Oh, I see. You're gay.
NTS: Exact- wait, no! I'm not gay! Can't I appreciate the female musical perspective without the labels?
S: I guess you could be a lesbian, but you'd be some fugly. And we have to take a break! But first, here's Voivod with Astronomy Domine!
(Metal imbues you with the gift of rockage)
S: And we're back. We were talking about Mosh Pit etiquette, until I found out Neil was in the closet.
NTS: Shut up! Just shut up! I don't have to sit here and take this.
S: Oh, Nancy the Scorpion's leaving. Bye Nancy! And that about wraps things up here. We'll see you next week. Dead City Radio, brought to you by the Headbangers of Malton, join us: http://tinyurl.com/2dnxty
We'll leave off with Anthrax and Metal Thrashing Mad!
(The shredding causes awesome to flow through you)
Broadcast April 5, 2007
Stickman: Buh-JAM! You have the distinct honour of being the first chicks and dicks to be listening to Dead City Radio, Malton's only all-metal radio station, 28.97 on your radio dial! I'm Stickman, the Real Stickman, and I am here to give The Metal back to the People! We're gonna start things off on a high note, here's Megadeth with "Mary Jane":
(awesome heavy metalage ensues)
Stickman: And we're back. Our guest tonight is a man who needs no introduction, the infamous Ron Burgundy! Hi Ron, welcome to Dead City Radio.
RB: Thanks, Stickman. But... infamous? That sounds a little too much like nefarious. I'm one of the good guys.
S: So I hear you like Scotch. Here ya go.
RB: Cheers! Say, uh, could you not smoke while I'm in here?
S: No.
RB: Oookay.... Ugh! Christ, what kind of Scotch is this?
S: Well, it's mostly denatured ethanol and a bit of Pepsi. Scotch is hard to come by these days, but that ethanol'll sure get you blotto fast!! Thanks Necrotech!
RB: Gods, man! You can go blind drinking ethanol!
S: Wow, for an eleven foot tall demi-god you sure are a pussy.
RB: Okay, just stop that. I'm a serious reporter. I won't be dragged into a juvenile verbal confrontation on the air.
S: Arright, arright, pull the pickle outta your ass. If you don't want to drink it you don't have to.
RB: Thank you. Now I believe you asked me on so I could talk about my latest book: Ron Burgundy, a Manly Man's Man.
S: I mean, there was this pirate hooker, and she totally drank a 66-er and arm wrestled Chatty Annie, but if you prefer Scotch... well, no one's judging you.
RB: Gimme the bottle...
S: Oh, damn! He's slamming back the whole bottle! Let's give him some inspirational music, here's Sepultura with" Refuse/Resist" and Henry Rollins with "Another Life"
(And the rockage continues)
S: Welcome back to Dead City Radio. We're here with Ron Burgundy who has just chugged 66 ounces of denatured ethanol. All right, let's talk about your book: Ron Burgundy: a Manly Man's Man.
RB: The candy man can, thas who!! Whooooooooo!!!
S: Wha... you okay, Ron?
RB: Whooooooooooooooo!!
S: I think someone's had a little too much to drink.
RB: An I think... you're FAT! Gimme a smoke... who'z Chaffy Abbey anyway?
S: Chatty Annie, Ron. She's our-
RB: Thas whud I sed!!
S: She's our program director. Former zombie, no tongue, good kid.
RB: She's got a great ass... he he he he he!!
S: So Ron, about your book-
RB: Ah luv you maaaann....y'know..... frrrriends are impordent...
S: Okay, we're going to go to a commercial and we'll be right... oh, we don't have any commercials-
RB: Maaaaaaam-mo-ries, Chatty Annie's mammoriess...... soft and floppy doughy mamories, of the way we weeeeeere...
S: Are you crying?
RB: Watch this!
S: No Ron!!
RB: Uuuuuuuhhhhhnnnnn.....
S: Well, Ron Burgundy just tried to backflip off the mixing board... he landed on his back... and now he's sleeping. We'll just leave him be. And, we're just about out of time. We'll finish off the set with a little Iron Maiden and a track off their 1984 album "Powerslave". This is "Aces High"! Tune in next Thursday, April 15. We'll be discussing mosh pit ettiquitte with Neil the Scorpion and we'll be taking calls from some of his angry GK victims. Dead City Radio, brought to you by The Headbangers of Malton. Sign up today: visit http://tinyurl.com/2dnxty
Good Night Malton!!
(The sibilant guitars of Iron Maiden fill your head with the power of Metal)
Recruitment Page Backup
The Headbangers of Malton
A human group with balls, H.o.M. doesn't concern itself with the rules too much. Although we are Pro-Human, politics mean nothing, so PK-ers and GK-ers alike are thrown directly into the mosh pit where they are dealt with like so many used beercups on a stadium floor. Procedures be damned, if you screw around with our shit, we will mess you up old school.
All players are welcome no matter what kind of skills they have. The only rule is that they adopt the H.o.M. philosophy and learn to play as a human. For more information on the group, follow this link: The Headbangers of Malton Direct link to the recruitment page on the D.C.R. forum: Accepting Applications
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Join today and help rid Malton of peace and quiet!!--Stickman 21:48, 30 April 2007 (BST)
Newer Recruitment Backup
The Headbangers of Malton
Bringing Heavy Metal back to Malton in all its wonderous rockitude. Play as a human or as a zombie: H.o.M. is a group with two identities: the Headbangers and the Deadbangers. The H.o.M. factions DO NOT interact so it is possible to have 2 characters in H.o.M. - a human and a zombie. A group with balls, H.o.M. doesn't concern itself with the rules too much. Politics mean nothing, so PK-ers and GK-ers alike are thrown directly into the mosh pit where they are dealt with like so many used beercups on a stadium floor. Procedures be damned, if you screw around with our shit, we will mess you up old school. Recruitment Policy: All players are welcome no matter what kind of skills they have. The only rule is that they adopt the H.o.M. philosophy. For more information on the group, follow this link: The Headbangers of Malton Direct link to the recruitment page on the D.C.R. forum: Accepting Applications
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Limited Time Offer!! As H.o.M. is a fairly new group to Urban Dead, we are quite small. In order to help generate interest, I'm making a limited time offer of a free Level 15 character with 200 XP to spare!
Visit The Headbangers of Malton page for more details. Supplies are limited! --Stickman 19:16, 7 July 2007 (BST)
Special Offer Backup
Limited Time Offer!!
As H.o.M. is a fairly new group to Urban Dead, we are quite small. In order to help generate interest, I'm making a limited time offer to potential recruits who are on the fence about joining.
In order to be eligible for this program, the recruit would have to be a veteran of the game who has at least one character who is level 25 or over. Ideally, this person would want to join but doesn't feel he/she has the time to develop a new character.
Well thanks to Kevan's recent updates to the functionality of the game, character trading is now an option. I've developed a number of characters up to level 15 with 200+ spare XP (to be used for Lurching Gait and Ankle Grab upon next death) and I'm willing to trade these characters in return for service to the Headbangers of Malton. These characters are well developed as survivors with matching skillsets that include:
- Advanced Pistol & Shotgun Training - Free Running - NT Lab Experience - First Aid - Diagnosis - Bargain Hunting - Body Building - Construction
And more!! Also, your character comes fully stocked with a few syringes, DNA scanner, FAK's and a buttload of ammo!
The only caveat is that these characters must remain with the group and I would prefer to at least briefly talk with the prospective recruit.
I realize there is a chance some cockbag will simply take the character and run, but that's life and I'm all about promoting the group right now.
Ask around and see if anyone is interested!
Stickman
Recruitment Ad of Glory Backup
Sample Round Edge Box This is a test to determine how much of an aneurysm I'm going to have trying to make my HoM group page look like the big pic in the Recruitment Ad of Glory.
Sample of... other-page-text-container-thingyHow the hell do you learn this shit?? I gotta ask whitehouse about this.
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