The Penguin Mafia/Survey
The E-Mail
From: [EMAIL REMOVED] To: The_Penguin_Mafia@hotmail.com Subject: Penguin Mafia questions Date: Sat, 8 Sep 2007 01:16:47 -0700 Hi, I'm Kristi of the Dead and I've gotten it into my head to do a bit of a newsish type thing for fun. I thought it would be interesting to ask all the leaders of all the groups listed on the stats page a few questions. Then when I got them all together begin posting them on the big forums and the wiki just for fun. I know you're prolly busy but I'd love it if you could take a quick second and look over the questions I've written below. You don't have to answer all of them if you don't like. In any event I just thought it would be fun to get everyone's answers and compare them and what not. Thanks again!
The Response
From: The_Penguin_Mafia@hotmail.com
To: [EMAIL REMOVED]
Subject: RE:Penguin Mafia questions
Date: 23 Sep 2007 04:08:15 -0700
Hello Ms Kristi, (you make goood cookies)
Thank you for this opportunity to speak out to the rest of the city *waves*. Now, on
to the questions.
Sincerely,
Don Pygoscelis
The Questions
1. How long have you been in Malton?
I personally have gone back and forth between Malton and my, shall we say, 'home country' many times both before and after the outbreak. However, all these 'visits' have been small 'business transactions' of which were very profitable and would rather not discuss of further.
2. What is your best memory or memories of this city?
When I look back on my time in Malton, I still remember the time I learned of the immense profit to be made here, from one of my advisors. My advisor informed me of a certain 'resource' that is very valuable in my 'home country' and in great supply here. This information synched up perfectly with certain 'anomalies' which were occurring. I managed to reprogram one of the Rifts and... well, I've said too much already.
3. What are some Lessons you've learned during your stay here?
Well, I would like to think of myself as more of a teacher than a student, but I have to admit that I've done my fair share of learning. 'Don't take zombies from strangers.' 'Look both ways before crossing a corpse.' 'Find a zombie, knock him down, and then you will own the town.' Just to name a few.
4. Who's your right hand man/woman? And why do you trust them?
With the roster in front of me, the highest ranking member is one of my advisors, Meh64. He is at this position because he is the one who founded the Malton Chapter of my organization. However, since (due to an 'unfortunate' blow to the head) he believes he is a penguin, and I don't want to upset his delicate condition, he would not fall in either of the categories you put before me. With that said, I will have to say that the highest ranking 'human' is his Lieutenant, Argon Tarsier, due to his level of involvement in our 'activities' and our wiki.
5. What makes a good Human Leader? / Zombie Leader? / Pk Leader?
As I am neither human, zombie, nor a general purpose machine gun designed in the Soviet Union, I feel I am in the perfect position to pass judgment on what makes a good ____ Leader. And they would be Smarts / Brains / Ammo (?) respectively.
6. What does your group do best?
What every penguin does best: shooting zombies and making pop culture references.
7. What is your groups greatest accomplishment?
Well, as a group, we have had many accomplishments (relatively short) residence in this fair city. Running a bar, writing a book (The Penguin Mafia Handbook), and getting a radio station (The Penguin Broadcasting System, 26.52 MHz on your radio dial!), are the first ones to come to mind. However, I would say that our greatest accomplishment is not getting sued.
8. Why are you in charge?
What is this? Some kind of threat?
9. If you weren't in this group which group would you be in?
Well, if I had to choose, I would go with the Channel 4 News Team because of their dedication to their job and Mr. Burgundy’s sense of humor similar to that of Tom Williams, Stephen Dobbs, Jon Colbert, and Robin Stewart.
10. What's the future of your group?
Barring any unforeseen circumstances, I don’t see the Penguin Mafia closing down the business any time soon. *Cracks knuckles*
11. Who is Malton's best leader? / Who would you follow?
Whooah! Déjà vu!
12. What group do you secretly admire? / Why?
Whooah! Déjà vu!
13. Who is your Favorite Group in the City?
Dude, seriously.
14. What is the Future of Malton?
Well, just be glad the leaders of where I come from didn’t have their way. They would nuke the city from orbit. Because, you know, it would be the only way to be sure.
15. Do you have a Favorite Suburb?
East Boundwood, hands down. It is the suburb we landed in and where the Rift’s power is strongest.
16. Who is the most powerful person in the City?
Dammit, Jim, I'm a penguin, not Doug Carlin!
17. What is the best UD upgrade?
Zombies. Before the zombies do you remember how boring this place was? Plus, the climate here is perfect for them. Much like how the climate in L.A. is perfect for the elderly or how Florida is perfect for actors.
18. What question should I have asked you? (answer that one).
Well you should have asked me another question about what the best [thing] is. That way I could have made another reference to the movie Déjà Vu, and then confuse it with Back to The Future, and then confuse Doctor Brown with Doctor Kleiner and then with Doctor Hibbert.
19. Who else should I ask about leadership?
Your local after school or Saturday morning cartoon. Preferably one involving penguins or the Mafia.
20. What would you change about Malton if you could?
More cowbell.
21. If you escaped Malton what would be the first thing you'd do?
To be completely honest? I would come back. Think about it. Forget the tropical beaches, clouds with pearly gates, that hotel that actually gives you their towels. This is paradise. Because everyone cares and nobody cries, and everyone loves and nobody lies, and everyone shares and swallows their pride. Because we're in the days, when nobody dies. Well, mostly just that last part.
22. Any advice for an aspiring group leader?
'Cheaters never prosper. They do drugs, lose all their money and die in the gutter. Now eat your dinner.'
23. Anything you want to say to the people of Malton?
What’s a hero do? Well, we’re not gonna tell ya 'cause we wish we knew. That’s why we heroes are so few. 'Cause the eyes of a ranger are upon you, any wrong you do, he's gonna see. So don't touch that dial, don't leave the room. Because they’re always into something fun, and you don't wanna miss it. It kinda seems familiar, like a story from a book. Shake a leg now, let's wag another tail. Sit, Hobo, sit. Good dog!
24. Tell me a Joke.
Our dental plan.
