The Regan family
The Reagan family patriarch, Joseph Seamus Reagan arrived in Malton in 1765 "penniless, one eyed, and smelling of whiskey" (according to immigration papers recently found in city hall) "God Help us all if Irish trash like this keeps coming to Malton" is scribbled in the margins of his passport, indicating that Joseph Seamus made quite an impression on the customs officials when he first staggered off of the Spanish merchantman that brought him to our fair city.
In his day there were many legends as to why Joseph Shamus came to Malton: He was fleeing due to participation in an Irish uprising, he was fleeing the law in Dublin, he just drunkenly staggered onto the wrong ship one day, but whatever reason history will point us to, what can be of no doubt, is Joseph Seamus Regan's impact on forming the community of Reaganbank after that fateful dice game brought him so much wealth.
Of the dicegame much has been written and speculated, but this much is certain: Joseph Shamus apparently had what in the colloquialism of his time the Irish would call "One *bleep*ing hell of a dice hand".
After winning a considerable amount of money out back of a local taproom, he is reputed to have challenged God, Jesus Christ, the virgin mary and Saint Colum Cille to a game of dice. "CLACKITY CLACKITY CLACK" echoed through the night in that oh-so-recognizeable Irish brogue. "WHO'S AMONG YE GOTS DE BALLS TO MATCH IT UP WITH OL JOSEPH SHAMUS" he is repeated to have screamed drunkenly to the skies.
Apparently however unknownst to Joseph Seamus, passing by were several drunken businessmen, in fact the leaders of Malton's merchants guilds, returning from an outing at a local cathouse. In an attempt to "shut the drunken Irish Bastard up", the merchants agreed to play him one round of dice, if on the condition that he lose, he would "just go home and sleep it off". However, luck was with Shamus and no matter how much money the merchants threw on the ground, Joseph Shamus kept raking it in, soon amassing wealth, fortune, houses, and entire merchant operations. Eventually the merchants attempted to leave the game, refusing to pay, however what they did not count on was that in attendance at the dicegame was Billy "the Butcher" Branigan, head of the Malton crime syndicate, who did not take kindly to people welching on bets in his town.
Joseph Shamus soon opened a whiskey distillery with his winnings (in partnership with Billy Branigan) and from 1770 through 1920 was one of Malton's largest exports.
The Reagan Distillery
The Regan family had many other notable members. (To be continued).
