The Surrealists/Archive

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2006

August

1st August 2006

During August- January, The Surrealists as they were once known are no more:

Now active again

We regret the breakdown in tea and scone services throughout Malton's museums, but The Surrealists will return in one shape or another in months to come.

We have returned!

An extremist Surrealist has splintered from the main group, and is considered armed and dangerous. We advise caution when liable to damage artwork- there is no longer any moderate influence preventing more extreme methods of protecting artwork.

The extremist has been dealt with and is no longer a threat

The other members either find themselves in a state of undeath, or willing to take a break for a while

Therefore, membership is now open

July

27th July 2006

The Surrealists put up a valiant fight at a Mall, but nearly every last member was battered and broken by the zombie storm. This has been a serious setback for the group, not least because infected Surrealists are showing little appreciation for art. Our zombiefied brothers are currently being secured, largely through abusing their ravenous appetites for tea and biscuits (it appears some aspects remain unchanged, even in undeath) with some success: however, several members are proving exceedingly powerful post-life, and one cannot help but wonder if they have been dead previously.

21st July 2006

In a largely spontaneous decision, The Surrealists have joined glorious battle alongside the New Malton Colossus! Fine Art of Malton is still the groups´ main priority however, alongside a good spot of brunch.

19th July 2006

After a fairly long tea break, recruitment has stepped up, with the clearing and barricading of several buildings. All members are asked to stock up on biscuits from the local mall.

6th July 2006

During our travels, museums around Buenos Aires in Argentina have been protected from zombies. An utter success, with not one zombie reported to have broken in.

June

25th June 2006

9.15pm: Fine Art of Malton has really caught the imagination, and we now have the museums of eight districts logged. Must be the promise of expensive freshly baked cakes.

8.10pm: The fabled Cubist installation has been found! Thanks to those lovely people at the BMC, The Phelips Museum [81, 95] in Whittenside is no longer unknown to us. All members are making the pilgrimage now.

6.04pm: Operation: Fine Art of Malton has begun with the logging of locations and situations of ten of Malton´s Museums, completing both the districts of Chudleyton and East Becktown.

11.45am: A lovely building has been commandeered and a generator is being installed- though it´s still a bit of a walk away- for the official HQ. Malton is reportedly quaking in its boots.

23rd June 2006

Another art installation (South African) was logged today, though its condition (ransacked) and current situation (filled with filthy survivors) were deeply dissapointing.

On another note, The Surrealists´ entry requirements have been toughened up, and we are now no longer admitting any vegetables of a starchy nature.

22nd June 2006

All members are now fully armed, largely with household implements. The most deadly of which being a Dyson vacuum cleaner- lethal against both the undead and carpets.21st June 2006

One of the Surrealists´ visa has ran out, and he has been forced into hiding. A zombie disguise is currently being prepared.

19th June 2006

Four art installations were logged today, and are soon to be secured.

18th June 2006

Another day spent successfully defending the armoury. An added bonus is that one member was bitten by a zombie, and is now infected. The rest of the group have been experimenting with various cures in an attempt to find a solution, perhaps even a vaccine. Measures tested include:

Herbal Tea

Singing Serbia´s national anthem whilst upside down

Watching the World Cup

None have proved fruitful so far (except perhaps the herbal tea, though that was largely because it was blackberry flavour), but not to fear! The infected member has discovered dead nerve endings in his hands to be wonderfully useful at taking stuck toast out of the toaster. An immunity to bodily pain makes a truly effective cook.

17th June

A dark morning- The Surrealists ran out of biscuits. A frantic foray from HQ was made to the mall where supplies were commandeered, along with a stuffed dog (last seen on an american sitcom), more monacles and a penny farthing bicycle.

15th June 2006

The Armoury may or may not be considered a modern art installation. As such, The surrealists spent the day protecting it´s inner workings from numerous zombies intent on ransacking it, though we had no real way of stopping vast numbers of humans from searching through and damaging the insides.

13th June 2006

Today was spent killing zombies with various implements, including the ever-wonderful flare gun. Artistic.

12th June 2006

Another day spent in vain searching the clothes shops of the Malls for tweed.

10th June 2006

1.48pm: A Surrealists member has truly exhausted himself in several attempts to revive the zombified finger on his left hand. It does appear that sticking needles into it and then dunking into lukewarm coffee is not having the desired effect.

1.44pm: The reports proved true- zombie guts splattered across a wall in Pitneybank. The integrity of the work was appreciated, and over a cup of tea the group vowed to create similar artworks across Malton.

1.38pm: Reports of a new work of modern art are in! They are being investigated as I write.

9th June 2006

"Operation Communication" was a decisive success today. One Surrealists member amassed a vast collection of phones and spent the rest of the day in the mall calling and talking to himself. ¿Hello?

7th June 2006

The Surrealists are formed over a pint of a worrying beverage. They soon forget however, and only remember when bitten by a rather large zombie guinea pig the next morning.