User:23skidoo
My name, here, is 23Skidoo. This bears no relation to the film with that number in the title. If it had zombies then maybe it would have been credible, but it did not. Just an old pet detective with some serious issues. I have very little to contribute to the wiki other than the constant updating of reports from my alter ego, The Information Minister. He's a field reporter for the Channel 4 News Team and you can read his stuff on their page. It's good and worth the effort.
These are 2 of my favourites
Sept 2007
Ranger Danger!
When I think of beauty I think of 3 things.
1. Ron working the room with a bottle of scotch in his hand 2. A Bottle of scotch working the room with me in its hand 3. Dr Kildare cleaning one of my glorious flesh wounds with a bottle of scotch.
And until yesterday that was enough for me, that was before I saw the Malton Rangers in action. I entered the Showers NT in Scarletwood and there they were, good men, strong men. Men like us, only not quite so well groomed. I said hello, we'd met before, and settled down. It had been a long day and I was exhausted. All I wanted was a little down time and some quiet company. What I got was a door and two windows crashing inward and a gaggle of the dead pouring into the room. I groaned, they groaned, and started to rise. A steady hand landed on my shoulder and the steely voice of Jleggit said 'We got this'. Good god they were flawless, the embodiment of 'Do Easy'. I thought at first that I was watching this on the screen, something didn't quite make sense. Then I realised - these bastards were fighting in slow motion!. At Channel 4 we brawl, and we sing, and we dance and we drink and give thanks to Odin for our knuckles and our knees. Whatever god these Rangers pray to has imbued them with unearthly skills, almost too beautiful to be considered violence. But violence it was, and in all too short a time the zombies were dispatched and the building was secure. After it was over Magatsu looked at me and said 'Did you get that?'. To my shame the camera still had its lens cap on. Wulfgar just smiled and told me there would be other times.
Dec 25th 2007
Christmas morning and I was hungry. Holed up in a junkyard near Nichols Mall I overheard 3 mafiaesque wise guys chatting. I couldn't catch it all but I did pick up something about following a S.T.A.R.S officer and the delivery of some Baby Cheeses. My stomach nearly flipped, I Love cheeses, especially the bite sized ones. The deal was apparently going down in the Nun NT in Pimbank so I thought I would slink ahead and get the drop on them. After a brief scurry I found the place and cracked my way in round the back. I searched pretty hard but came up with nothing other than a syringe, useful but not much good for an empty stomach. I was about to give up when I heard the strangest sound, a baby crying in a room downstairs. I crept close and had a peek. There were the 3 wise guys and in front of them were a couple with a new born baby. The guys were in awe, the mum full of love and the dad had a slightly suspicious look in his eye. 'What is this?' I asked, 'and where are the baby cheeses?' The woman looked at me, 'My name is Mary, and this is my baby, Jesus'. I slapped my head, this wasn't the first time I had followed a bum lead. At that point a bunch of people stepped out of the shadows, singing songs and lighting candles. 'Are you mad!?!' I exploded, but it was already too late. The noise had brought the dead and the barricades were already coming down. Before they could hit their first Hosanna the singers were toast. The wise guys put up a fight but were heavily outnumbered, The dad tried to fight back the horde and Mary fought like a dervish to protect her child. But it was no good, this fight was only going one place and I didn't want to ride that train. I dispatched the nearest zombies too me and was about to head out the window when I heard the mothers desperate plea. 'Please save my baby!' Mary was in pieces, literally, but somehow she had managed to keep the child clear of the claws. Cursing my conscience I leapt back into the fray, swinging my boom mike and grabbing the child. we crashed through the window and into the night, not looking back. Now I'm holed up in a school with a baby and I don't know what to do. I've got to find Ron, he'll have the answer. From me and the child, merry christmas Malton, may peace and good weapons find us all.
Also, if you dress snappy and have a whit worth sharing then come try out for the News Team.
In other news, on 1st october 2012 a Ranger/C4NT/QSG legend passed away in the real world. Her name was Winka and we that knew her were all the better for it.
