User:Axemaniac johnson

AxeManiac Johnson

Tall and aggressive, but behind that hostility is a guy who will help anyone who he sees as a "good person" .... just don't stare too long at him, it makes him edgy .. and there are not many things worse than an edgy ex-firefighter carrying a 4ft axe.

Blurb

Wtf? Zombies? Who would have ever believed it .. I seen some mad shit being a firefighter in a cosmopolitan city, but dead people walking ... and attacking the living? Na, that blew my mind. For a while - no idea how long - I think I lost it and just went around chopping things up and maybe even trying to go out fighting, but when I regained control, I was still alive and covered in this strange, sticky fluid .... there were limbs and chopped up bodies all around me, some still moving, for God's sake. I also noticed I had 4 rats taped to my legs, but when I went to tear them off in disgust, a voice in my head told me, "No, they are the source of all your powers. Remove them at your peril."

Now I think about it, I was just a normal firefighter before I had them, but now I am an axe wielding, door-chopping, nail collecting mofo with the strength of 2.36744902 men ... a mother******* AxeManiac. No, those babies were staying right where the were, and any jive mofo trying to take them away from me would bring down upon themselves the full wrath of me, AxeManiac Johnson!

Ah well, time to get on with it and see if I can just get on with surviving. I know this area, my station is .. was? .. nearby. I'll head over there and see if any of the old crew have survived this mad shit. C'mon, axe, let's go for a stroll .....

Journal

First few days spent just getting used to how much my old station and surrounding 'burbs have been affected .. I remembered the old hospital nearby and got lucky inside, stocking up on a few makeshift first aid kits I managed to cobble together. "Killed" one of those mofo zeds and chopped away at a few more, and when I got back to the station, I noticed the barricades weren't looking as good. Will have to learn how to make those things as soon as possible, no good just knowing how to chop them down nowadays.

Some turkey hit me before he left the building, and just as I was about to introduce him to Uncle Fisty, a nearby guy told me this was a good way for doctors to get some good training and it was an unusual SOP around here ... I'll remember that guy for the next time when I want to let some doc learn how to patch up a mushy face.

Swung my axe at another lurchin' moaner today, my Leg Rodents granted me the power to do a fair bit of damage before I had to go looking for a safe spot ... ran out of stamina in a VSB building, but it has a zed inside. This probably ain't gonna end well. Tell my wife I thought she was fat and no, she didn't look good in it ....

Ran around and chopped the sass right outta the first zed I ran into and after that I really put my back into getting the hang of that free running I saw some dude doing the other day. Seemed handy, he was "running" between buildings, roof to roof, like some ground hating, teeth collecting mofo so I decides I wants a piece of that ... ended up running rooftop to rooftop and ended up inside a mall my wife used to melt my c card in. So this is where everyone hides out. Never seen so many whitebreads in one place. Soon they will realise they have a rodent powered superhero in their midst and I will get my dues ..... off to look for a pretty hat.

Keep venturing outside the safety of the mall to look for lone zeds to hack and slash, and so far have found a few. Problem is, I seem to be getting a bit too comfortable in here, as I keep running back here instead of looking for loved ones and old friends .... to chop up.

People keep writing strange shit on the walls ... things about killing other survivors. As far as I know, shamblers ain't got the know-how to do that, so I gotta assume that some humans actually actively seek out and kill other survivors. Hope somne turkey don't go giving me that type of sass.

Comments, chat and poop

• watches tumbleweed roll on by* --Axemaniac johnson 15:10, 25 July 2010 (BST)

Also starring

My fellow survivor/zombie characters are: Sgt Eeeeeeeeek, Cpl Poop and YouLikey

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