User:Captain Rickety
Who is Captain Rickety ?
- Captain Rickety is the youngest of the cousins of Marty Teach who is the eighteenth descendent of Gragulas.
And who is Gragulas?
- It's more of a "what" is Gragulas.
Okay, what is Gragulas ?
- Gragulas is... a battleship ?
Um, I'm afraid I don't understand. Can you please clarify how a battleship can give birth?
- Leprechaunism.
What?
- It's difficult to explain, go download an online RPG.
I did that, it just stole my credit card number and it's trying to take out loans in my name.
- To fix that just type in: "ORDER-00789.exe".
It just bought 10,000 explosive tipped dry erase markers, and my cell phone exploded.
- Next question.
Why is my computer shooting microchips through the wall?
- You might as well ask me how to kill Superman.
Okay, How do you kill Superman?
- If you insist, Superman is vulnerable to only one thing: Fast food wrappers. Commit a crime on Earth Version 2.0.
What ? Version 2.0?
- Yeah, it's like Earth, but the people are scarier and superheroes don't exist.
Then why we would we need to kill Superman?
- Next question.
What are you doing in Malton?
- I intend to craft a weapon to destroy zedkind and reclaim Hordeground for humanity.
Okay, what exactly is Hordeground?
- Hordeground is the zombie homeland or nest, suburbs that remain "red".
We'll talk more on that, but tell me this: What is this new weapon you intend to use to end the war?
- I can't tell you much about it now, but you may see members of my crew visiting neighboorhoods and doing stange things. Fear not, for they are at work purging the zeddist traitors from existence.
That sounds a little like PKing. Do you believe in PKing?
- Everyone knows, PKing does not exist. I repeat: PKing does not exist. Except in online games.
What do you mean by that?
- Well, it's either murder, homicide, negligence, or stupidity.
Okay, you mentioned an Ultimate Weapon to annihilate Zed-Kind.
- Yes, the power of love, and if that fails: a salvo of thermonuclear missles.
That sounds a bit drastic.
- I intend to blame it on non-believers.
Well, what do you believe in?
- A dry bed and a 400 foot cube-type refridgerator for all the peoples of Malton.
Okay, next question: how do you feel about "Hostile-Takeover" groups ?
- It's fun to watch things unfold, and I'd to see more of these kinds of groups out there.
Do you condone PKing activities?
- I believe in "Political Action", when the established order cannot or will not protect people we have a duty to protect ourselves from a group that wants us all dead.
Do you support violence against non-affiliated wanderers?
- I believe that in today's in paranoia driven society, you need to protect yourself from foreign invasions.
- We fight because we have little to gain by not fighting , and because we don't get cool toys if we're zombies.
- We fight so someone esle won't need to.
- We fight so we can kill each other after we drive the zombies away .
- We fight so we may earn a 40 acres and a zombie .
- We fight so that we can rebuild a corrupt political structure.
- We fight so that criminals can wander the alleys at night freely.
- we also fight because rolling over and dying ain't our style.
Every survivor who fights alongside Captain Rickety Shall recieve the following
- No less than Forty Acres of land -in the realm of Malton
- The land claimed must be exactly forty acres of land -in the realm of Malton
- If The land claimed be not forty acres then said survivor is entitiled to one block of land in Malton
- If not such a Block of land is available then said survivor is entitled to one "get out of Jail free Card"
Mule : Any Survivor who fights Alongside Captain RIckety Is entitled to one mule
- If one mule is not available then said survivor may claim any non-human as such a substitute for labor work
- If said survivor acquires substantial wealth then additional livestock shall be made available for purchase
- If said survivor cannot find additional livestock then trading livestock is permited
- If said survivor acquires substantial wealth then additional livestock shall be made available for purchase
- All survivors are entitled to own labor animals
- Anything that cannot declare allegience to humanity by using survivor abilities is a non-human
- non-humans may appeal their status by using survivor abilities and providing documentation of humanity
Captain Rickety Believes in hard work and perserverance , and to further this end The Illustrious Captain Rickety has devised a basic plan to the coming soon world of Zed Wrangling , Plantations , and Zed shows .
Zeds will serve humanity as a source of cheap labor in the southern half of Malton ,and in the newbire labor will serve labor needs in Northern Malton . In southern Malton , all of the Necrotech Facilities will be under tight security as to prevent a zed rebellion .
- Zed Wrngling will entail capturing zeds and leaving them in a parking lot for to serve humanity - Captain Rickety is currenty looking for a method to allow humans to capture zeds .
- Zed shows will be a bi monthly event showcasing the finest livestock from all of malton , along with bidding to purchase quality livestock. Ribbons will be awarded to the top three zed ranches .
- Zombie Labor may be used to buldoze condemned property or to plant crops to feed malton's growing human population and to protect humanity from the threat of Zombie violence through Zed against Zed battles with Zed foot soldiers and Human officers
- Plantations - All survivors are ecouraged to establish a settlement to further develop malton , and as such all survivors who fight alongside Captain Rickety will be guaranteed a place in the new order of things to come.
