User:J3D/Empire Records Script

EMPIRE RECORDS.

Written by: Carol Heikkinen Directed by: Allan Moyle Transcribed by: Andrew Mowbray. Andrew.Mowbray@durham.ac.uk

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the film.

This is not a novelization or an (original) script. It is a straightforward and dry transcript of the film "Empire Records". It also includes descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where I felt they were needed.

Every effort was made to accurately transcribe the dialogue from the movie. If you notice any errors in the transcript, then please let me know, and an update will be made.

Version 1.2.

FADE IN

SHOT OF EMPIRE RECORDS - A MUSIC STORE

CUT TO AN OFFICE

GINA Joe?

LUCAS Gina.

GINA Lucas? What are you doing in here?

LUCAS My life has reached it's pinnacle ... Joe's letting me close the store tonight.

GINA You're kidding?

LUCAS I am not.

GINA Big responsibility Lucas.

LUCAS Yes. But Joe's rules are extremely simple. Keep my hands off a his beer, cigars, and drumsticks.

GINA My, my, how will you remember it all? Good luck ... don't screw it up ....

LUCAS A responsibility like this requires the obedience of a saint.

CUT TO LUCAS COUNTING MONEY ETC.

LUCAS Music Town franchise Option Agreement?

PUTS ACETATE IN FRONT OF PICTURE OF STORE

LUCAS They gotta be kidding. In the immortal words of the Doors: "The time to hesitate is through".

CUT TO LUCAS GOING TO ATLANTIC CITY.

ROULETTE EMPLOYEE No more bets.

LUCAS 22.

ROULETTE EMPLOYEE 22 black.

GAMBLER Who was that?

CRAPS CROUPIER Bets, end of roll. New roller. Place your bets please ladies and gentlemen. Place your bets down .... We have a high roller.

LUCAS $9104. I counted it ... twice.

FEMALE GAMBLER I like your style.

LUCAS Well Joe told me to count it twice.

CRAPS CROUPIER No more bets please ladies and gentlemen. Place your bets down, place your bets down.

LUCAS So do I just throw it and get a seven?

CRAPS CROUPIER That would be very good sir.

FEMALE GAMBLER Feeling lucky?

LUCAS I'm guided by a force much greater than luck.

CRAPS CROUPIER Seven! A winner!

FEMALE GAMBLER Baby, you are sex.

LUCAS I know ...

CRAPS CROUPIER Same lucky shooter, put your bets down ladies and gentlemen. Hot shooter on the line.

LUCAS You know what? ... Let it ride.

CRAPS CROUPIER Hot dice coming out.

MALE GAMBLER That's an $18000 bet. You sure you know what you're doing kid?

LUCAS I know this: That if I win this roll I will save the place that I work from being sold, and the jobs of my friends that work there. Thus striking a blow at all that is evil and making this world a better place to live in.

FEMALE GAMBLER Huh?

LUCAS And I'll buy you guys a drink.

GAMBLERS Oh....

CRAPS CROUPIER No more bets ladies and gentlemen, get your bets down.

LUCAS Joe, this one's for you.

CRAPS CROUPIER Two. Craps. End of roll.

FEMALE GAMBLER You know something? You used to be cute.

MALE GAMBLER And you used to have nine thousand bucks.

LUCAS I wonder if I'll be held responsible for this?

CUT TO MORNING. LUCAS ASLEEP ON HIS MOTORBIKE

AJ Lucas! Hey, Lucas? Hey, Lucas? What the hell you doing here, man?

LUCAS Something happened to me last night. In Atlantic City.

AJ Oh, you went to Atlantic City?

MARK Wow ... did you win anything?

LUCAS No. I did not win. So if you guys ever wonder if it was nice to know you, I tell you now that it was.

AJ Shit, man. What happened? What happened?

LUCAS I do not regret the things that I have done but those I did not do.

AJ Lucas, how much? How much? ... Shit!

MARK AJ, what do you mean by shit? What's up, huh?

AJ Well Lucas doesn't have any money and Joe let him close the store last night.

MARK So? Heh heh. Oh. Huh. I guess he didn't live up to the responsibility of the position did he?

AJ No, not the full responsibility.

MARK Oh, yeah.

AJ Uh-oh shut up. Hey what's up Joe?

MARK Hey, Joe. What's up with the 'boss' threads, man?

JOE Friggin' Rex Manning Day.

MARK What's up with the hostility Joe?

AJ (singing) Say no more, mon amour ...

MARK (singing) Lips are for kissing baby je t'adore. Umwah!

JOE, AJ AND MARK ENTER STORE.PHONE STARTS RINGING

JOE Mark! ... Phone.

MARK Oh, oh.

MARK ANSWERS PHONE

MARK (into phone) Empire Records open til midnight this is Mark ... Yeah. (to Joe) Hey, it's the bank.

JOE (into phone) Yeah it's Joe ... are you sure?

OTHER PHONE RINGS - MARK ANSWERS THAT TOO

MARK (into phone) Empire ... oh sorry. Empire Records open til midnight this is Mark. (to Joe) The Boss.

JOE (into phone) Give me a sec would you. (changes lines) Yeah, Mitch. Mitch! Mitch will you stop yelling please.

CUT TO BACKROOM

AJ What is wrong Joe? ... Joe, what is it? ... Nah, Lucas? No way, c'mon.

MARK Here he comes.

JOE ENTERS BACKROOM AND GOES INTO A SMALL OFFICE. HERE HE OPENS THE SAFE AND LOOKS INSIDE

JOE Damnit, Lucas!

AJ What's the matter Joe?

CUT TO CAR. GINA IS DRIVING, COREY APPROACHES FROM HER HOUSE.

COREY Surprise.

GINA What? What is it?

COREY Happy Rex Manning Day.

COREY HANDS GINA A CUPCAKE

GINA When did you have time to make these?

COREY Dad says there's 24 usable hours in every day. Thank you.

GINA You absolutely amaze me. You are a nerd.

COREY That's me.

GINA So?

COREY So.

GINA So?

COREY So...

GINA SO?

COREY So today, I will offer myself to Rex Manning.

GINA Alright! ... Yes.

COREY (kissing record) Oh I love you.

GINA No. Like this.

COREY Get your tongue off a my record

BOTH LAUGH

COREY (continuing) You think Rex is the right guy for my first time?

GINA Oooo ... I think he's perfect for you Corey.

CUT TO STORE. JOE IS RUMMAGING AROUND IN THE BACKROOM

AJ Hey, Joe?

JOE Yeah?

AJ I need to ask you something.

JOE Uh-huh.

AJ Now I know you know a lot about love and women and all that sort of thing.

JOE Oh yeah. My wife left me for another woman and my girlfriend forced me to leave at gunpoint .... Does this qualify me?

AJ Oh yeah, definitely. Look Joe, I've decided that today's the day I'm gonna tell Corey how I feel about her.

JOE Uh-huh.

AJ No. I know what you're thinking but I really am. I mean I've been working here off and on for five years, man, so ... I've gotta tell her how I feel, you know? I've gotta tell her that I, er ... well you know, that I er ...

JOE Love her?

AJ Yeah. Now how do I do that?

JOE You say "I love you" ... what do you want? Written instructions? (looking around backroom) If I find that kid, I swear, I swear I am gonna kill him.

AJ OK ... I'm gonna tell her this morning.

JOE Good.

AJ By noon ... definitely.

JOE Right.

AJ No. by noon or one.

JOE Uh-huh.

AJ By 1:37 exactly, Joe.

JOE Well good luck.

AJ Well thank you.

CUT TO GINA'S CAR PULLING UP AT BACK OF STORE

COREY AND GINA (singing) Don't be sad girl ... Just be glad girl ... You're not a bad girl!

COREY God, remember the first time he sung it on 'The Family Way'?

GINA Yeah.

COREY I got so excited I almost choked on a pretzel.

THE BACK DOOR OPENS JUST AS THEY ARE ABOUT TO OPEN IT

COREY AND GINA Oh!

COREY Happy Rex Manning Day.

AJ You guys can't go in there right now. I got something to tell you. Both of you, listen. It's really crazy news.

GINA What?

AJ Alright ...

CUT TO JOE'S OFFICE

JOE Come on Lucas, pick up the phone. Pick it up ... come on, buckethead!

CUT TO AJ, COREY AND GINA ENTERING BACKROOM

GINA Hi, Joe.

COREY Does Joe know?

AJ No. so just act normal.

COREY Hi, Joe.

AJ What's up, Joe?

GINA What's new, Joe?

COREY How ya doin'?

JOE Damn!

CUT TO STORE

GINA OK. Let's see who goes first. I got a brown, anybody got brown?

MARK Brown?

AJ No.

GINA Orange.

MARK SHOWS HIS M&M

AJ Aw, shit.

GINA Oh, no.

MARK Nah-nah.

CUT TO SCENES OF GETTING STORE READY FOR OPENING

CUT TO AJ TURNING OFF MARK'S MUSIC

MARK Hey ... whatcha' doin', man?

AJ I'm exercising my veto, man.

MARK Yeah but it's only 9 o'clock. You sure you wanna do that?

AJ Mark, listening to this crap is guaranteed to make you sterile.

MARK Maybe I wanna be sterile.

CUT TO BACKROOM

JOE Corey, what are you doing here?

COREY Calculus. I hate it but my dad says I've gotta get an A.

JOE No, I mean you know you're not on till this afternoon, right?

COREY Joe, it's Rex Manning Day.

JOE Rex Manning Day ...

CUT TO MUSIC VIDEO

MARK (singing) Lips are for kissing baby so say no more.

JOE Could you please not sing, Mark.

MARK You know what Joe? One of these days I'm gonna show you little people.

JOE Yeah well on that day I'm gonna jump out of my wheelchair and do a dance.

MARK How about today, huh? Rex Manning Day (notices Lucas entering) Uh oh.

LUCAS Mark.

MARK Lucas.

JOE. Lucas ...

LUCAS Joe ...

JOE Where's the money?

LUCAS Joe, the money is gone.

JOE Yeah I know it's gone. Where's it gone to?

LUCAS Atlantic City.

JOE Atlantic City?

LUCAS Yeah.

JOE Is it coming back from Atlantic City?

LUCAS Er, I don't think so Joe.

JOE What's it doing in Atlantic City?

LUCAS Re-circulating.

JOE Re-circulating?

LUCAS Uh-oh. Are you pissed off, Joe?

JOE Lucas.

LUCAS Joe.

JOE Lucas.

LUCAS Joe.

JOE Lucas, listen to me. I told Mitchell Beck that you forgot to deposit the money. I told Mitchell that the money was still here.

LUCAS Joe, that's not true. It's in Atlantic City ... I swear.

JOE Shut up. Shut up, sit down and don't you move.

LUCAS It could be in other cities by now -

JOE Oh shut up! Under no circumstances do I want you to leave that couch. Unless it's to bring me $9000 and then you bring it here to me, OK?

LUCAS Joe. I think it's going to be OK.

JOE What makes you think that?

LUCAS Who knows where thoughts come from. They just appear ... uh-huh.

JOE What a moron.

CUT TO STORE

FLORIST (to Corey) You Corey Mason?

COREY For me?

FLORIST Uh-hmm.

COREY Oh wow! Thank you.

FLORIST Uh-hmm ... later.

COREY Yeah, bye. Thank you.

GINA (reading from card) "To the number one in her class, Harvard 1999. Make me proud, love Daddy". That's sweet.

COREY God, nothing's ever enough for him, huh?

GINA Aw, no I'm sure he didn't mean it like that. No he didn't -, I'm sure he didn't mean it like that.

CUSTOMER Er, excuse me?

COREY (to customer) Hi. How are you today?

CUT TO MARK KISSING PICTURE OF MADONNA AND DEB ARRIVING.

COREY Hi Debra.

DEB GIVES HER THE FINGER

COREY She hates me.

GINA She hates me too. But I have enough sense to hate her back.

CUT TO BACKROOM

LUCAS Morning Deb.

AJ Hi Deb.

JOE Lucas are in trouble? Did you need the money? Because if you are in trouble you can talk to me, you know that right?

LUCAS Joe, we're all in in some kind of trouble. Am I the only one who sees it? You know, Deb's in trouble and AJ's in trouble.

AJ AJ's not in trouble.

LUCAS And Corey is in trouble.

AJ Corey's not in trouble - she's going to Harvard.

LUCAS Mark's in trouble, Eddie's in trouble -

JOE Hey, I'm the one who's in trouble here. Cos every minute that goes by and I don't call the cops, I look like a bigger banana-head.

LUCAS Joe, I can categorically say that you are not a bigger banana-head.

JOE You screwed me Lucas - you know that right? ... What do you want me to do? Call Mitchell, tell him I lied?

LUCAS It seems like a viable option.

JOE I swear to God if you are fooling with me I will kill you.

LUCAS Hmm.

JOE AJ, I need another closer.

AJ Joe, I opened, man.

JOE C'mon, look I wouldn't ask but I have got no choice.

LUCAS I can close.

AJ Yeah, I can close. It's cool. They just raised my rent so I could definitely use the money.

LUCAS Well damn the man.

JOE Oh God, I am in hell!

CUT TO BATHROOM - DEB CUTTING OFF HER HAIR

AJ Lucas, do you think that it's possible for someone to be in love with someone else and not even know it?

LUCAS In this life, there are nothing but possibilities.

AJ Well that's good cos I have to tell Corey I love her by 1:37.

LUCAS That's an excellent time.

DEB EMERGES FROM BATHROOM

AJ Wow ... You did have hair when you went in there right?

DEB Yeah, it's still in the sink if you want to glue it ... Hey, Lucas is it true you committed the perfect crime?

LUCAS Not entirely perfect.

AJ You see that, man? ... Hey Debra wait a minute. What's with you today?

DEB Bad hair day.

AJ No I mean with this. What is this, huh? What happened?

DEB You know I went to Rock and Roll Heaven and I wasn't on the guest list. Now please move, I've gotta go to work.

AJ No. Now you tell me what is going on.

DEB I decided I'd rather kill myself than meet Rex Manning. Now excuse me I'm going.

AJ No listen to me. This isn't funny. I'm not joking. I'm not gonna let you go out of here until you tell me what's going on.

DEB Mind your own business.

LUCAS She's fine. She's amazing.

DEB Thank you.

LUCAS (whispering) AJ she's in the store. She's gonna be OK.

AJ What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you're like the Chinese Guy from the Karate Kid. What's with you today?

LUCAS What's with today, today?

AJ I dunno.

CUT TO CASH REGISTER. DEB APPROACHES.

COREY Oh, wow ... Why'd you do that?

DEB Just your typical nutty teenager in America. Oh! Before you guys hear all about it.

COREY That's supposed to be a joke right?

DEB No, you're the joke.

COREY LEAVES

GINA Well Sinead O'Rebellion. Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behaviour.

DEB That is so clever. I swear to God you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets.

GINA And you get smarter the shorter your hair gets so it's probably a good thing you went with that.

DEB Yeah.

GINA It's a wonderful look for you darling.

DEB Thank you.

CUT TO MARK'S THRASH MUSIC

LUCAS Joe? ... Joe? ... I have to go the bathroom.

JOE (into office phone) Yeah, I wanna report a robbery. No I will not hold.

CUT TO STORE

GINA Veto. Excuse me, ow. Excuse me. Ow ... Veto!

MARK Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's up with that Gina, huh?

GINA You know it's too early. It makes the customers all crazy-like.

MARK That's the whole point ... Eddie ...

EDDIE Fat Cat. What's up dude? I heard your music playing when I got in, man. That's some pretty scary stuff.

MARK Yeah, it was moshy.

EDDIE I'm glad to say I made you a tape last night for educational purposes. Well here's the deal, man. You start off with a little classical music, a little pooky, a little puffy. And then you got some shags on there and residents. A little Floyd and Zeppelin.

MARK Floyd's very cool.

EDDIE And another very cool thing is: I made you these. Now they're my special recipe and you know what that means - lots a sugar. Now Mark, you gotta understand something here. This music is the glue of the World, Mark - it holds it all together, without this life would be meaningless.

MARK Dude, have you heard about Lucas?

CUT TO BACKROOM

EDDIE Hey Lucas, man. I heard you like went to Vegas and like married a mobster's wife, and now you've like got a hit on you and stuff. Is that true?

LUCAS Not entirely true.

EDDIE Oh, well, outlaw man. We salute you.

LUCAS Thank you Eddie.

EDDIE No problem.

GINA (over PA) This song goes out to our employee of the week: Lucas.

EDDIE Oh, a little tribute, man.

MUSIC STARTS TO PLAY

GINA (over PA) Lucas wants money ... Lots a money ... Joe's money.

JOE ENTERS BACKROOM

COREY What the hell's this Joe?

AJ Rules and standards for Music Town employee conduct?

JOE (to Eddie) Put these in the boxes.

AJ Music Town? We're not a Music Town.

JOE No we're not a Music Town ... yet.

MARK Well isn't Music Town a chain, Joe?

AJ (reading from rules) "No gum chewing will be allowed inside the store".

EDDIE You're turning us into a Music Town?

MARK Why didn't you tell us?

JOE Cos I was trying to stop it.

COREY What do you mean?

JOE Look, I got together enough money to make Mitch an offer. He's gonna make me a partner. I could of bought him out eventually.

COREY You were gonna buy Empire?

MARK That's a good thing, right?

AJ That'd be fantastic.

EVERYONE Yeah.

JOE You think it's gonna happen now? I have to pat for what Mr. Brilliant here did. It's over kids, OK.

LUCAS Mitchell is "the man" Joe.

JOE Yeah, and the man calls all the shots.

LUCAS Damn the man!

JOE Let me explain it to you. Mitchell's the man, I'm the idiot, you're the screw-up, and we are all losers. Welcome to Music Town.

CUT TO STORE. GINA AND DEB TALKING

DEB (reading from rules) "No visible tattoos".

GINA (reading from rules) "No revealing clothing".

DEB We're both screwed .... At least you're used to it.

GINA No Debra don't be bitter. Certainly with your ever-growing collection of flesh-mutilating silver appendages, and your brand new, neo-nazi boot-camp makeover, the boy's will come a running.

DEB Let's not fight - let's just rip.

CUT TO MARK ON STAIRS

MARK No, we mustn't dwell. No, not today. We can't .... Not on Rex Manning Day.

CUT TO GETTING STORE READY CUT TO FANS CUT TO SHOPLIFTER CUT TO LUCAS

LUCAS Joe is it OK if I leave the couch? Cos I'm gonna leave the couch now, OK? My ass is falling asleep Joe, I gotta go. I'm leaving ...

CUT TO STORE

MARK Well at least you didn't leave the couch.

LUCAS Not the whole couch.

MARK Oh! I've decided I'm gonna start a band.

LUCAS Really?

MARK Yeah.

LUCAS The first thing you need is a name - and then you'll know what kind of band you've got.

MARK. Yeah, I know, I know. I was kinda thinking about "Marc". What do you think of that?

LUCAS Is that with a 'C' or with a 'K'?

MARK Well, um, my name is with (checks name tag) ... a 'K'. So, I was thinking maybe my band could by with a 'C'. So that way it's kinda like that psychedelic, you know, trip thing.

LUCAS Always play with their minds.

CUT TO SHOPLIFTER

LUCAS Nice selection.

SHOPLIFTER What?

LUCAS Help you with anything?

SHOPLIFTER No. I'm alright thanks.

LUCAS You like music?

SHOPLIFTER Yeah.

LUCAS Me too. (whispering) The fat man walks alone.

SHOPLIFTER What? Stop. What are you, some kind of weirdo?

LUCAS That's a big coat you're wearing, lots of pocket-room.

SHOPLIFTER Yeah ... see ya.

LUCAS I'm sure I'll bump into you.

MARK SHOPLIFTERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

CUT TO LUCAS CHASING SHOPLIFTER

GINA Isn't it customary to leave the scene after committing the crime?

DEB Definitely an amateur.

GINA (over PA) Attention Rex Manning fans. If you look to your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by night manager Lucas. This young man will be caught and deep-fried in a vat of hot oil and served to our first 100 customers. Just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records.

CUT TO LUCAS CHASING SHOPLIFTER. SHOPLIFTER WALKS INTO OPEN CAR DOOR.

SHOPLIFTER Oh, shit.

CUT TO REX MANNING PULLING UP BEHIND STORE

REX He cut it too short.

JANE No it's fine, really. It's fabulous.

REX Oh, God.

JANE What?

REX Look at this place.

JANE Come on Rex. There is no gig too small, alright. Middle America buys your records, now come on, we got a lot of fans waiting in there.

CUT TO BACKROOM

JOE (on phone) Yeah this is Joe Reece from the Empire Records store. We have a shoplifter in custody ... uh-huh. How old are you?

SHOPLIFTER Old enough to kick your butt through your skull and splatter you brains on the wall.

JOE Yeah, he's a juvenile.

LUCAS (hitting shoplifter) No.

JOE What's your name?

SHOPLIFTER Warren Beatty.

JOE OK, Warren stand up. I want you to hold these against your chest, stand against the wall and they're gonna take a photograph of you.

WARREN Why don't you shove 'em up your ass?

LUCAS Because it would hurt a lot Warren.

JOE Take him over there.

GINA ENTERS WEARING ONLY A MUSIC TOWN APRON

GINA And they said no revealing clothing, didn't they? I think Music Town is actually torn on the revealing clothing issue. I think so.

COREY (turning on music and dancing) Revealing clothing ...

JOE Gina .... Gina .... Gina .... Gina! ... Gina will you please get dressed. Corey turn that down, AJ up on the roof, fix the sign. Lucas - take the photograph.

GINA Yes. Music Town. I can work for Music Town.

JANE Hello?

GINA Hi. Welcome to Music Town. May I service you?

JOE Gina get dressed. Corey - work.

JANE You must be Joe Reeves.

JOE Yeah. I'm Joe, you must be Jane, right?

JANE Hi.

WARREN Me Joe, you Jane.

AJ Shut up, Warren.

JANE This is Rex Manning.

JOE It's a pleasure to meet you. We all love the new album.

REX Oh, good for you.

WARREN What's he doing here?

JOE Just let me introduce you to everybody. This is Gina, this is Corey, Lucas, AJ, and er, Warren.

AJ SQUEEZES WARREN'S NECK

WARREN Hi.

REX I'm Rex. Great to be here.

COREY I have all your albums.

REX That's terrific Corey. Thank you.

LUCAS Hey, Rex, what happened to your hair?

REX Well, the er, stylist - if you can call him that - got a little carried away. No biggy.

LUCAS It looks good.

JANE See, he likes it.

COREY I, I like it.

REX Great, let's go to work.

CUT TO PHOTOGRAPHING WARREN

AJ That was fabulous Warren, thank you.

CUT TO REX ENTERING FRONT OF STORE AND FANS CHEERING

JANE Just smile alright.

REX I don't like the chair

JANE What do you mean, you don't like the chair?

REX I don't like the chair.

JANE What's wrong with the chair? Just sit in the chair.

REX I don't want to sit.

JANE Are you just gonna stand there?

JOE (replacing chair) Mr. Manning, this is a very nice chair.

REX Thank you Joseph.

JANE (to Joe) Thank you.

REX CLICKS HIS FINGERS FOR A PEN. JANE THROWS ONE ON THE TABLE

FAN Hi.

REX Hi. What's your name?

FAN Kathy. K-AT-H-Y.

REX OK.

KATHY You know, I've seen every episode of 'The Family Way'.

REX Oh yeah?

KATHY And you were my favourite singer in high school.

REX Who's your favourite singer now?

KATHY You - it's still you.

REX Bye.

CUT TO BACKROOM. AJ DRAWING, WARREN PLAYING WITH MAGNET. MARK ENTERS

MARK There's so many babes out there. I gotta get Rex some water because Rex is very, very thirsty.

JANE Make sure it's bottled water.

LUCAS Mark.

MARK Yeah?

LUCAS Who's your favourite singer?

MARK Axl.

LUCAS Well if Axl Rose was driving down the highway and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road, you think Axl Rose would stop and help him?

MARK Does Axl have a jack?

WARREN No way, man. Axl would spin the wheel, take aim, pound on the gas, and take that sucker out!

LUCAS Warren. Warren! Where do you get this hostility from?

CUT TO WARREN TRYING TO PRY QUARTERS OFF THE CARPET

WARREN Who stuck these quarters down?

AJ I did.

WARREN What the hell for, man?

AJ I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.

LUCAS Warren, look what you took. (sifts through stolen CDs) Rap, metal, rap, metal, Whitney Houston.

WARREN It's for my girlfriend, OK.

LUCAS Sure it is. You know, someone like you needs to diminish their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some Jazz or some Classical.

WARREN Maybe you bite me.

JANE Do any of you, er, like Rex Manning's new record?

WARREN Ha ha ha ha.

JANE What?

WARREN Dance-party-USA-teeny-bopper type of shit right?

JANE I don't know, actually it tested well among teenage males.

LUCAS Jane, did you compare the percentage of teenage male Rex Manning fans to the incidents of homosexuality among teenage males?

WARREN LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

JANE No.

CUT TO STORE

REX Who should I make it out to?

AUTOGRAPH SEEKER Denise.

REX Denise. I've always loved that name.

AUTOGRAPH SEEKER Thank you, but it's not mine, it's my mom's. She loves you, I've never even heard of you.

REX OK. Tell me, does you mother still have her own teeth? Forget it.

AUTOGRAPH SEEKER Cool hair.

REX Oh.

FAN (singing) Say no more mon amour. Say no more mon amour. Say no more, MON AMOUR. SAY ... NO ... MORE ....

MARK CLAPS

CUT TO BACKROOM. BERKO ENTERS

LUCAS Berko.

BERKO Lucas, I heard a story about you.

LUCAS Really. Which one?

BERKO The one where you stole $9000, went to Atlantic City, and there's a contract out on you. Hey, has anyone seen Debra today?

AJ Yeah, we saw her. She shaved her head. And she has a bandage on her wrist.

BERKO Really?

AJ Really.

BERKO (to Jane) Who're you?

JANE I'm Jane.

BERKO Oh.

JANE I, er, work for Rex Manning.

BERKO Oh ...

BERKO, AJ, LUCAS AND WARREN START LAUGHING

JANE You think that's funny, huh?

THEY CONTINUE LAUGHING

JANE (continuing) If you'll excuse me.

JOE You're quitting? You can't quit.

JANE Oh, it's not them, it's Rex. You know, I don't even like his music.

JOE Come on Jane, you gotta stay.

JANE I need a change of scenery.

JOE Honey, come on, you can't do it to the - (his office door shuts in his face) I can't believe it - she quit.

CUT TO JOE'S OFFICE. HE PUTS MONEY IN THE JUKEBOX

CUT TO STAFF SINGING ALONG

CUT TO SCENES

COREY AND GINA (singing) If you want blood, you got it.

MITCH ENTERS

MITCH Excuse me ladies, there should be more selling, thank you.

GINA (over PA) Guess who's here.

MITCH (to Rex) How are you? Mitchell Beck - I own this place.

REX Oh, good to meet you. You have a nice store.

MITCH Oh, nice of you to say. I'll tell you though, you should of seen it originally: Beck's Bath and Bidet, bathroom emporium. My grandfather started it. It was my beatnik father who turned it into a record store. I tell you, if I was selling toilets today, I'd be a rich man.

JOE ENTERS

MITCH (continuing) Joe. What's the matter with you? You're sweating like a pig.

JOE Well it's nice to see you too, Mitch.

MITCH Joe, come on. Is this the way we treat Mr. Manning? Where's the fresh fruit, where's the champagne?

REX No, no, that's not necessary, thank you.

MITCH No, no, please. (to Joe) He's a big star.

JOE Big, hug star. Big, big.

MITCH So let's get him some.

JOE Sure.

MITCH OK.

JOE AND MITCH HEAD TOWARDS BACKROOM MITCH (continuing) Joe, I'm going by the bank so why don't you give me last night's deposit. I wanna make sure it gets there this time.

JOE It's OK, I'll take care of it.

MITCH No, no, you're a busy man, let me.

JOE I said I'll handle it.

JOE GOES INTO COUNTING ROOM, MITCHELL STARTS TO FOLLOW

LUCAS Mitch! Mitch. Mitch. Have you met Warren?

MITCH Who're you?

LUCAS Lucas. I work here.

SHOT OF JOE FILLING BANK BAG WITH PAPER WHILE LUCAS TALKS TO MITCH

LUCAS (continuing) Have, er, you met Warren? Cos I, I wanted to talk to you about Warren. You see young Warren came into the store today and put on a little demonstration for all the store employees. Very motivational. It was inspiring actually. And gosh, he just made quite an impression on everyone.

MITCH I'm intrigued. I'm spellbound.

JOE HANDS HIM THE MONEY BAG

MITCH (continuing) Now that wasn't so hard was it? Thank you.

WARREN FLIPS MITCH THE BIRD

CUT TO STORE

BERKO (to Deb) I like you hair ... Are you OK?

DEB Why do you care? You didn't care last night.

BERKO Yes I did.

DEB Look this isn't about you, OK. I got home last night and I thought about everything that had happened. And then I thought about everything that had happened the night before that and the week before that, and the year before that. And, er, the only thing that was different was there was something else that was making me feel shitty.

BERKO I'm trying to say I'm sorry.

DEB I just said this wasn't about you. Look, you didn't do anything wrong - I'm screwed up, OK?

BERKO We're all screwed up.

DEB Don't touch me right now. I just want you to get up and I want you to walk away.

DEB PUTS HER HEADPHONES ON

CUT TO ROOF

AJ Corey, I've gotta tell you something. It's about how I feel about you. I ... I, er, I really, really, really ... oh, god. You know that feeling you get when you get out a hot bath and you just feel really refreshed and nice? Well ... you make me feel like - you make me feel like a bath? Aw ... You're like vanilla ice cream - french vanilla ice cream - yeah.

CUT TO SCENES

CUT TO BACKROOM

WARREN This is bullshit, man.

LUCAS The long arm of the law has embraced our dear friend Warren.

JOE (to policewoman) I'm Joe Reeves the manager. Is everything OK?

WARREN This is such bullshit, man.

POLICEWOMAN We've got everything under control.

WARREN Hey, Joe, Joe, tell them what he did.

JOE Do you need a statement from me?

POLICEWOMAN No, we already got one from Mr. Lucas.

WARREN Oh, oh, Mr. Lucas over there took $9000 and I just took a couple of CDs.

POLICEWOMAN That is enough.

WARREN Come on. Lucas, I thought you were my friend.

LUCAS Take care of yourself Warren. Don't let the man get you down.

JOE I don't wanna see you back in the store Warren.

WARREN I'm the victim here.

AJ Bye, Warren.

WARREN (as he is dragged away) I'm gonna get you. I'm not playing this time. I'll be back and you'll be sorry! You're gonna pay for this ...

LUCAS Woo!

AJ (imitating Warren) You'll be sorry.

JOE I'm already sorry.

CUT TO JOE CHECKING MUSIC BOOTHS

JOE Hi.

DEB Hey. I'm just accumlating tax returns. I'm almost done.

JOE Look , Deb, erm ... if you need to talk about anything ...

DEB You gonna fix me Joe? OK, fix me, I'll listen.

JOE Well I didn't mean that - I mean, should I call your mother or something? Or?

DEB Great. You know, if you find her could you give me her number cos I'd really like to talk to her myself. ... I know you didn't mean anything.

JOE You're doing a good job, Deb.

JOE LEAVES

DEB I feel a lot better.

CUT TO JOE'S OFFICE

COREY Joe? You're the best boss in the world. Can I bring Rex his lunch?

JOE Berko's taking him his lunch.

JOE Er, Joe, you know that Berko's going to insult him right to his face - I don't think that's such a good idea.

JOE Look, I don't care if Berko sticks an M80 up his butt and lights it. In fact I hope he sticks one up mine - it might be an improvement.

COREY Joe, I have to bring Rex his lunch.

JOE Berko is.

COREY Joe, I need to bring Rex his lunch.

JOE Berko is.

COREY I'M BRINGING REX HIS LUNCH!!!

JOE Alright.

COREY Thanks Joe. Thanks a lot.

CUT TO COREY PREPARING LUNCH

REX AND MARK ENTER

MARK Wow, all the food groups, Corey.

COREY Bye, Mark.

MARK Hey, hey, woah.

REX Well this looks very elegant. Yeah, boy, talking to all those women can make you work up an appetite.

COREY I bet it does.

REX I think I've got everything. I'm all set, thank you.

COREY So am I.

REX You know I can't help notice you sitting there staring at me.

COREY I was just thinking how I used to imagine marrying you when you were on 'The Family Way'.

REX Marrying me? You must of been a baby back then.

COREY (taking off her top) I'm not a baby now.

REX You're a sweet girl.

COREY (taking off her skirt) I'm not as sweet as you think.

REX How old are you?

COREY Old enough.

REX You sure you wanna do this?

COREY Yeah, definitely.

REX (unzipping his pants) Rock and roll.

COREY RUNS OUT OF ROOM PULLING ON HER CLOTHES

CUT TO ROOF. COREY EMERGES PULLING ON HER TOP. SHE SITS DOWN AND NOTICES AJ APPROACHING

COREY (muttering to herself) Go away.

AJ Corey.

COREY What are you doing here?

AJ Fixing the sign. What are you doing?

COREY Taking a break.

AJ Wow, it's really weird that you just came up here. Look I really have to tell you something.

COREY Not now, please.

AJ No, it has to be now.

COREY Please AJ, not now.

AJ No, no, it has to be now, listen. You remember that really horrible day when Mark set off the store alarm, and, and, and Gina got dumped by that Dennis guy and cried all day, and I drew the picture of him and Lucas made the voodoo doll and you wore that skirt that I hate? Do you remember that day?

COREY What skirt?

AJ The, the one with the flowers.

COREY The blue skirt?

AJ Yeah, the blue one.

COREY You -

AJ Yeah, I hate that skirt. But it's good that I hate that skirt, Corey, cos that, listen, that, listen to me, that skirt made me realise that, I mean, if I can, I can love her in that skirt then this must really be it. Corey, I love you.

COREY What?

AJ Corey, I'm in love with you.

COREY Oh wow. Please not now, please AJ. Please don't do this right now. I'm sorry but I can't handle this right now.

AJ What are you telling me, that you could handle it some other time? Is that it?

COREY Look, I just threw myself at Rex Manning, OK. I made a total fool out of myself, I mean, and I really don't -

AJ You what?

COREY Yes, and, and, I'm not ready for this OK? And I, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry ... I'm sorry, I just wanna be alone, OK?

AJ Yeah, OK. Just forget I said anything alright. Just forget - I didn't say anything. Nothing happened.

CUT TO AJ PAINTING

CUT TO CAFÉ. GINA AND COREY HAVING LUNCH.

GINA Forget about Rex. We'll get you another guy.

COREY I don't want another guy. I'm not like you, I don't need another guy. Why do you always try and make me like you?

GINA What'd you mean 'like me'?

COREY I'm not like you with guys. I don't need to do what you do all the time.

GINA Oh, OK. I see. Not like me the turbo-slut, is that what you mean? What are you saying? That I gotta go do every guy that I see?

COREY Well you certainly seem to enjoy it.

GINA Huh. Well. What'd you do, huh Corey? Did you go over there and did you act all perfect and better than everybody? You think guys like you for that?

COREY They may not like it, but at least they don't do it with me and go off and laugh.

GINA Miss Self-righteous.

GINA STORMS OFF. EDDIE APPROACHES

EDDIE (putting pizza on table) Here you are. hey, is Rex Manning in yet? Cos if he is you gotta show him my eight track, it's so great, it's 'The Family Way'. It's in the, like, vinyl section, right underneath the -

COREY Eddie, please.

COREY LEAVES

EDDIE Hey, what'd I do? Hey. (picks up bra) Hey, you forgot your thingy.

CUT TO STORE

GINA I dunno, it's just something I've always been able to do. I can tell you what colour and what kind.

REX Huh. Alright, what am I wearing now?

GINA Jockeys. Navy blue. Am I right?

REX I dunno.

GINA Well why don't you check it out, and you let me know.

CUT TO COUNT-OUT ROOM. GINA ENTERS FOLLOWED BY REX

REX Now the $64,000 question.

GINA UNDOES HIS PANTS

CUT TO AJ PAINTING OUTSIDE

COREY Hi. (looks at painting) That's really nice.

AJ Don't

COREY Don't' what?

AJ Pretend like nothing happened. Just don't.

COREY AJ, when you told me that before I just freaked because I don't think of you like that. I mean you're my best friend ... I think we have something better than that.

AJ Better? That's bullshit. You know that's bullshit.

AJ LEAVES. COREY TAKES A PILL FROM A CONTAINER

CUT TO DEB MAKING BUTTONS

CUT TO STORE

DEB (handing button to Corey) One for Miss Teen America. It's OK, I didn't spit on it.

COREY 'Dishonesty'? What's that supposed to mean?

DEB And one for the man with the band.

MARK Oh ... huh, huh. 'Marc sucks'. Yeah.

DEB Hey, AJ. I made you a button. 'Stupid'.

AJ Debra you're just in time.

DEB What?

AJ Please. Surprise.

TURNS ON REX'S SONG

DEB Veto, veto, veto. I'm not listening to it.

AJ No, we're dancing to it.

DEB I'm not gonna dance to Rex Manning. I'm not dancing.

AJ LIES ON COUNTER

AJ Why not? I am Rex Manning, I'm so sexy.

DEB No you're stupid. Stupid.

AJ No, I'm sexy.

AJ PUTS DEB'S HAND ON HIS CROTCH

DEB Get off.

SCENES OF STAFF AND CUSTOMERS DANCING AND SINGING.

SHOTS OF GINA AND REX IN COUNT-OUT ROOM

JOE You all having fun? I hope so. Don't let me stop you, keep dancin'. But you better do it now because by next week this is gonna be a Music Town and I don't think they allow dancing in Music Town.

LUCAS What are we supposed to do instead, Joe?

JOE What am I gonna do with this guy, huh? What should I do? Turn him into the police, send him to jail? Who do you think that he's gonna come to when he wants bail, who? Me, right? Me. What should I do? Put in my own nine grand? And then I'm screwed.

LUCAS Don't worry Joe, you're a superb manager.

JOE Really?

LUCAS Superb.

JOE Keep it up, Lucas.

LUCAS Superb.

JOE Say it again.

LUCAS Superb.

JOE You little shit

LUCAS Joe, that's my shoulder.

CUT TO BACK ROOM. JOE DRAGS LUCAS IN

JOE (throwing Lucas into his office) Get in there.

LUCAS Joe? Joe. Joe, Joe, no don't. Aw ... Joe don't do it, don't do it, Joe. Ohhh ....

LUCAS GETS THROWN BACK OUT OF OFFICE

JOE (handing Lucas paper towel) You deserved that, you know it, right?

LUCAS I know it.

JOE Where's Rex?

GINA I got a better question for you Joe: Where's Gina?

THEY HEAR LAUGHTER FROM THE COUNT-OUT ROOM

AJ I'll look upstairs.

DEB I'll check the bathroom.

BERKO I'll check the storage room.

LUCAS I'll check the sofa.

EDDIE ENTERS

EDDIE Hey, hey, how's it going, man? Joe, I'm sorry I'm late. I brought some pizza just in case anyone got hungry. So what's up, man? Why you guys, er, looking so glum? Where's sexy Rexy?

DEB It's kinda funny that you put it that way.

EDDIE What?

COREY ENTERS

COREY Joe, I'm not feeling so good, can I count out now?

WALKS OVER TO COUNT-OUT ROOM

COREY Why's the door locked? Where's Gina? Where, where's Rex?

EVERYBODY AVOIDS EYE CONTACT WITH HER. SHE HROWS HER CASH DRAWER ON THE FLOOR. GINA AND REX COME OUT OF ROOM

REX What? No applause?

AJ JUMPS ON REX

REX Get off.

JOE AJ!

COREY AJ, stop. He's not worth it.

JOE AJ.

THEY MANAGE TO PULL AJ OFF REX

REX (punching AJ while Joe restrains him) Wise up, junior.

JOE (throwing Rex his things) Take your purse, and get the hell out of my store.

REX Where's Jane?

JOE She quit, pal.

REX What?

LUCAS And I was lying about your hair, it looks stupid.

DEB And we all hate your new album.

BERKO Not to mention the ones before that.

EDDIE You're just a washed-up impostor, man.

REX (as he leaves) why don't you all just fade away.

EDDIE (to Gina) How could you? With Rex Manning?

COREY (as she leaves the room) I hate you.

JOE Gina, you better go home.

GINA Am I fired?

JOE Have I fired anyone today - no. why would I start with you?

COREY COMES BACK

COREY So is this how your life's gonna be now, huh? You just gonna screw every has-been until your tits fall down and they don't want you anymore?

GINA Well at least I don't hide what I am, right Corey? At least I'm not some closet speed freak, right? What, you think I don't see what you do? (screaming) DO YOU THINK I DON'T SEE WHAT YOU DO?

COREY Shut up!

GINA I know what you do! (picks up pill container from Corey's pigeon hole) what's this? Oh what's this? What are these, huh, what are these? Aspirin? Vitamins? Diet pills?

COREY Sshh.

GINA Diet pills, oh what a surprise!

COREY Stop it!

GINA You know what, I could study all night if I was chowing down speed too you know that, I could. (starts throwing pills at Corey) Here's one for your perfect little face, and your perfect body.

COREY SHUT UP!

GINA (continuing to throw pills) And your perfect family, and your perfect school.

COREY STOP IT!

JOE Gina, stop it. C'mon.

GINA And your perfect, perfect future! (Joe grabs Gina) I'm stopping.

JOE C'mon.

GINA I'm stopping! ... it's always about her.

GINA LEAVES

JOE (to Corey) It's gonna be fine. Really.

COREY (screaming) NO IT'S NOT GONNA BE FINE! NOTHING'S EVER FINE! I'LL SHOW YOU FINE. I'LL SHOW YOU PERFECT!

COREY RUNS INTO STORE< GRABS A PAIR OF SCISSORS OFF THE COUNTER AND ATTACKS A REX MANNING STAND-UP

COREY (stabbing stand-up) I HATE YOU!!!

MARK, EDDIE, JOE AND BERKO RESTRAIN HER

CUT TO WASH ROOM. DEB IS CALMING COREY DOWN BY LOWERING HER FACE INTO WATER

DEB Sshh. (lifts Corey's head out of water) Up ... better?

COREY Yeah.

DEB OK, come on, dry it off. (looks at Corey for a while) So I guess nobody really has it all together.

COREY No.

DEB I feel like I should welcome you to the neighbourhood or something.

DEB SITS DOWN ON TOILET

DEB Anyway, did you really wanna do Rex Manning in the count-out room? Is that how you always imagined your first time would be? Your back up against the daily totals and your feet pounding against the safe. (putting on a voice) Oh Rexy stop that. You're so sexy.

COREY SMILES AT THE THOUGHT

COREY Why are you being so nice to me?

DEB Let's save our 'homework' moment.

CUT TO MARK WATCHING A MUSIC VIDEO EATING EDDIE'S BROWNIES.

MARK Gwar!

THE SINGERS ON SCREEN START TALKING TO MARK

LEAD SINGER Hey. Hey, Mark. You love Gwar, why don't you join the band?

CUT TO MARK IN THE MUSIC VIDEO ON THE TV SET

LEAD SINGER Aw, man. Mark , man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must die.

MARK STARTS TO BE EATEN BY A BIG PLANT

MARK Wait. Hey, come on. Awwwww ...

CUT TO MARK WATCHING HIMSELF ON TV. HE LAUGHS AS HE IS EATEN

MARK I love you, Eddie.

CUT TO JOE'S OFFICE

JANE Hey. Do you need a new night manager? What are you doing later?

JOE I don't know. I'm either going to jail or hell, I can't decide which.

JANE Well wherever you're going would you like to have dinner with me first?

JOE You bet.

CUT TO BACK ROOM STAIRS. AJ IS SITTING ALONE

EDDIE Hey, AJ. Can I ask you something? Do you know where Harvard is?

AJ It's near Boston.

EDDIE No, I mean, do you really know where Harvard is? It's another planet, man. Another universe. Totally unlike the one we know. Filled with big blond guys who eat ivy and row boats. What I'm trying to say is that you and Corey are just not made for each other. She's, she's different than you. She's -

AJ WALKS AWAY

CUT TO COREY DRAWING A PICTURE ON A PIECE OF CARD

LUCAS Death is in the cards. Rest In Peace Deb. A funeral. Is Debra not with us anymore?

COREY If Deb wants to die, let's show her what a real funeral would be like.

CUT TO SETTING UP FUNERAL SHOTS

COREY We're gathered here today to pay our last respects to Debra. She left us and never said why, but I'm really gonna miss her. And I wish that I could of known her a little bit better.

DEB Dogshit.

EDDIE Hey, dead people don't talk.

COREY Berko, would you like to say something?

BERKO Deb I just ... I just want you to stay, that's all.

COREY AJ, do you have something to say?

AJ Well is it better to know or not to know? You see, I wanna go to art school but I'm afraid.

DEB Jesus, I hate this funeral.

CUT TO STORE. MARK IS SEREVING CUSTOMERS - HIS HANDS FULL. THE PHONE RINGS

MARK (into phone) Empire Records open til midnight this is Mark ... Midnight!

THE AMOUNT OF CUSTOMERS IS TOO MUCH FOR MARK

MARK (over PA) Help me. Helkp me, help me, help me. Oh God, um ...

CUT TO BACK ROOM

AJ I'll take care of it Boss.

JOE OK.

COREY I really miss Gina.

DEB That's really special but aren't we supposed to be talking about me?

COREY I know, I just can't stop thinking about her. She's not afraid of life and she's not afraid to be herself. And I wish that I could be like that, I wish that I could be brave like Gina.

GINA APPEARS OUT OF THE SHADOWS AT THE BACK OF THE ROOOM

GINA You are brave. You're getting out of here. You're always talking about how I do what I wanna do. But I don't. I don't. Cos I wanna sing in a band but, erm, I don't have the guts to even audition. And I know that if I don't do something I'm gonna end up like my mother. Her life ended after high school.

COREY You're never gonna be like your mother if you don't want to be like your mother. You're gonna be fine.

DEB That is so sweet I think I'm gonna barf. Excuse me.

DEB ATTEMPTS TO LEAVE. THE OTHERS PULL HER BACK DOWN

COREY Get down here ... hey, Mark.

LUCAS Er, I used to pee in my bed. I did, I, I, I wet my bed until I was ten. My mother turned me over to the county when I was ten too, er, not, not for being a bed-wetter but for being a bad seed. Anyways, three years went by and then Joe came and he, er, took me out and I became the well-adjusted person that I am today.

DEB Look. I tried to kill myself with a Lady Bic; a pink plastic razor with daisies on it and a moisturising strip. And it took me forever just to get through my skin. I don't know, I was just really tired of being invisible.

COREY We love you Debra.

CUT TO STORE. WARREN ENTERS AND PULLS OUT A GUN. AJ NOTICES HIM

AJ Warren, get out of the store.

WARREN You can't tell me what to do, AJ.

WARREN DISPLAYS THE GUN

AJ What are you doing with a gun?

WARREN What do you think I'm doing with a gun?

CUT TO BACK ROOM WHERE A LOUD BANG IS HEARD

EDDIE What the hell was that?

CUT BACK TO STORE

WARREN Christ. Holy shit, man.

AJ Warren, why don't you let these people go. What do you say, huh?

WARREN Good try, AJ. Good try. You trying to fool me, man. I'm not that dumb. They'll call the cops on me.

AJ Nobody's gonna call the cops.

SHOT OF JOE AND THE STAFF LOOKING OUT INTO THE STORE FROM THE BACK ROOM

JOE It's Warren, he's shooting up the place.

COREY Oh my God, AJ.

JOE AJ's fine. Everybody stand back, OK. Jane, call 911.

CUT BACK TO STORE WHERE WARREN HAS BEEN JUMPING AROUND WITH THE GUN

WARREN ... I'm crazy and I got a gun. (he notices Joe approaching) Joe. Hey, Joe. Did you see that. Man? Did you see that? Wasn't that brilliant? Yeah! Didn't you just love that? You told me not to come back, well here I am.

JOE Give me the gun, Warren

WARREN I'll give you the gun.

WARREN FIRES AGAIN PAST JOE'S HEAD. DEB WALKS PAST JOE TOWARDS WARREN

JOE Deb, what are you doing?

DEB I wanted to have a little chat with Warren.

WARREN Yeah? Have a little chat with my gun.

DEB (to gun barrel) What do you want Warren?

WARREN Stop calling me Warren. My name isn't FUCKING WARREN!

CUT TO BACK ROOM

EDDIE His name isn't Warren.

COREY His name isn't Warren.

BERKO His name isn't Warren?

MARK I thought his name was Warren.

CUT BACK TO STORE

DEB Well you can't kill me Warren cos I'm already dead. And I talked to God and she sez "Yo, whatsup?" and, erm, she wants you to lose the gun.

WARREN You're psycho. You are psycho. What the hell is wrong with you people? You all belong in the loony bin. Everyone of ya. Forget you guys, I don't need you. You think you're so good and damn great cos you work in a freaking record store. You think you're so ... superior. Hey, Joe, Lucas steals nine grand from you and you don't do dick to him? So you gonna give me a job now?

BERKO So that's it Warren? You wanna work in a record store?

WARREN No.

LUCAS I think you're lying, Warren.

WARREN He's not gonna give me a job, man.

LUCAS How do you know?

WARREN Why should he? Why should anyone give me a job?

LUCAS He gave me a job.

JOE TAKES THE GUN OFF WARREN. POLICE SIRENS ARE APPROACHING

WARREN (to Joe) So do I get the job?

CUT TO BACK ROOM. SHOT OF AJ MAKING WARREN A STORE ID TAG

POLICE OFFICER Well considering the fact that he's a minor and he put blanks in the gun, there's really not a whole lot they can do to him.

JOE Well thanks a lot officers.

BERKO Take care Warren.

JOE Stay out of trouble, OK?

AJ Wait, wait a minute ... Warren I made this for you.

WARREN Cool, man.

AJ STARTS TO PUT IT ON WARREN

AJ Warren I work -

WARREN Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can you keep it her for me so when I get back ...

AJ Sure.

WARREN Thanks, man.

LUCAS Hey, Warren. Take care of yourself ; don't let the man get you down.

WARREN Yeah, you too, Lucas. Bye Gina.

BERKO Yeah, don't drop the soap.

WARREN GETS TAKEN AWAY

JOE I gotta call Mitchell.

A FAN OF MONEY GETS HANDED TO LUCAS

DEB It's 1900 bucks. I sold my Vespa across the street.

LUCAS No.

JANE Here's $600 left over from the Rex Manning expense account.

BERKO Cool.

MARK There's about 30 bucks from Debra's buttons.

COREY I have some money in my bag.

BERKO Here's a couple of bucks. And some Bazooka Joe for karma.

AJ Here's $32 from AJ's expense account.

JOE (handing Lucas his ring) Maybe you can hock this, I don't know.

DEB That's ... 3050.

GINA Yeah.

COREY And 6 more.

LUCAS It's not about money, OK? I, I hate money. Er, look, I thought I knew what I was doing but I didn't, OK. I give up ... call Mitchell.

JOE I think we can work something out here.

LUCAS No. now is the time, just call him.

MARK Woah. Wait a second. Give me a couple of seconds. Oh, yeah.

CUT TO REPORTER OUTSIDE STORE

REPORTER And so the perpetrator will now be taken to Juvenile Hall and likely charged with assault with a deadly weapon and possibly even kidnapping.

MARK APPROACHES

MARK Er, I saw the whole thing go down. You see, I work here.

CUT TO BACK ROOM. EDDIE COMES IN

EDDIE Hey guys, check it out, check it out. Mark's on TV.

HE TURNS ON THE TV SET

EDDIE (continuing) He's on the news. He's right outside the store.

REPORTER (on TV) Well joining us is an eyewitness to the scene. An employee of the store who saw it all. Tell us what happened.

MARK Well you see there was this guy here and he kind of wigged out and everything, but that's besides the point. Because we're having a get together here tonight. There's gonna be free admission, live music, chicks, the full nine yards, man. Heavy shit. Here at midnight.

REPORTER We're live on the air right now, sir. That's the story kids -

MARK Anybody can come. Here at midnight. Party on, man. Damn the man! Save the Empire!

CUT TO SCENES GETTING READY.

JANE Um, no, no. Gotta make some money.

PEOPLE START ARRIVING

GINA, BERKO AND BAND ARE SETTING UP INSTRUMENTS

GINA (taking drum off Berko) I got it.

EDDIE IS SELLING RECORDS

EDDIE (to kid) You know, this is something you gotta invest in when you're young cos a record is like life. It goes around, and around.

AJ (indicating an Alice In Chains poster) You want this?

MAN Yeah, how much is it?

AJ $80

MARK ARRIVES WITH KEGS OF BEER

AJ $5 a beer. (to an obviously underage kid) Happy Birthday ... have your money ready.

MARK There ya go.

MITCHELL ARRIVES AND HEADS TOWARDS THE STORE

EDDIE (to Mitch) You gotta buy something before you go in. You wanna buy some vinyl or something?

DEB Hi, Mitch.

MITCH Joe!

CUT TO BACK ROOM

MITCH What is going on here? Why do I get the feeling that I am being royally screwed, Joe?

JOE Because you are Mitch. There was no money in the bag; one of my employees needed it.

MITCH Who took it? Who took my money?

LUCAS Mitch, this is some party. I mean it's a hell of a turn-out.

MITCH Who're you?

LUCAS I'm Lucas. I still work here.

MITCH How could I forget. We're having a discussion here -

LUCAS Mitchell I wanted to talk to you about this whole Music Town thing. Next week you're going to be the proud owner of one of many Music Town's across this great nation. Correct?

MITCH Yes.

LUCAS And you like this because Music Town jacks up their prices to make more money.

MITCH You're a smart boy.

LUCAS Now, when Music Town comes in, Joe is out. AJ is out, and all the beautiful little tattooed, gum-chewing freaks are out as well. And it, er, pretty much goes without sating that, that I'm out.

MITCH I wish it had gone without saying, but you don't seem to shut up.

JOE What I think Lucas is trying to say is that I'm going to open my own store.

MITCH You don't have the start-up capital.

LUCAS Yes he does.

JOE No, I don't. but I will. I will get it. Mitch, I quit.

CUT TO STORE. LUCAS AND JOE COME OUT OF BACKROOM

JOE You knew didn't you?

LUCAS About what?

JOE Everything. About me, what I wanted to do.

LUCAS I knew you weren't happy.

CUT TO OUTSIDE STORE. BERKO'S BAND START PLAYING

BERKO (singing) They all said life's just a bowl of cherries, but Sometimes it seems like anything but. Sometimes reputations outlive their applications Sometimes fires don't go out when you're done playing with them. I feel so funny deep inside, I wanna kiss myself goodbye Sugarhigh.

GINA (singing) Got to have it really need it to get by.

BERKO (singing) Sugarhigh.

GINA (singing) Gotta feel it, can't conceal it Sugarhigh.

BERKO (singing) I could go out and not even leave the house A TV set and a bottle of wine's just fine Crashing out on that old pull-out couch Watching Saturday Night Live I guess that's why -

CUT TO STORE. MITCH IS AT THE CASH REGISTER

MITCH Thank you for coming. Bye, bye. Thank you, move along.

CUSTOMER (handing Mitch some stuff) These are on sale with a coupon, right?

MITCH TRIES TO USE THE CASH REGISTER AND FAILS

MITCH Doesn't anybody work in this store?

WARREN (showing Mitch his ID) I do.

CUT TO OUTSIDE

BERKO (singing) When I think about my life I wanna kiss myself goodbye Sugarhigh. Alright!

COREY IS LOOKING FOR AJ. SHE SPOTS HIM ON THE ROOF TRYING TO FIX THE SIGN.

COREY (shouting up at AJ) AJ! ... AJ! ... AJ!

CUT TO STORE

MITCH Please leave. Leave the merchandise, take your cup and get out. There must be someone outisde you need to bug or something. Now!

JOE Here's all your money, count it.

MITCH Look, Joe. I hate this place, you love it. Let me sell it to ya. Cheap.

JOE Thanks, you won't regret it, Mitch .... Asshole.

CUSTOMER (taking money off Mitch) I'll take it.

MITCH Give me that!

CUT TO OUTSIDE

BERKO (to Gina) You. (points to microphone) Take the lead.

GINA What?

BERKO Go on Gina. Take it. You're on.

GINA (singing) I've - far and wide. I've explored the deepest caverns of my mind To try and find and explanation why I get this funny feeling deep inside

BERKO (singing) when I think about my life I wanna kiss myself goodbye Sugarhigh.

GINA (singing) Gotta have it really need it to get by

BERKO (singing) Sugarhigh.

GINA (singing) Wanna feel it can't conceal it makes me high.

BERKO (singing) Sugarhigh.

GINA (singing) And even though I gotta live until I die.

BERKO (singing) Sugarhigh.

GINA (singing) Can you feel it Can you feel it Sugarhigh!

BERKO Sshhh ....

THE CROWD CHEERS

CUT TO JOE'S OFFICE

LUCAS Perfect. Well, not entirely perfect.

CUT TO ROOF. COREY EMERGES.

AJ Hi. What are you doin' up here?

COREY You listen to me.

COREY PUSHES AJ TO THE GROUND

AJ Hello, Corey.

COREY You are so special and you'tr so talented and you have everything it takes - you have more than everything it takes - and you're really stupid because you don't know that.

AJ Huh.

COREY And I know you don't love me anymore and I know that I blew it, but at least I know that. And if you don't go to art school and if you don't understand how special you are then you know nothing.

AJ Corey, I -

COREY And I did love you and I still -, only I didn't realise that it really was love because it was more than love and it wasn't just some stupid feeling in my stomach like everything else. And I'll never love anybody as much as and I hate you, hate you, why do you -

AJ Corey, corey, I quit. I'm going to art school. In Boston. So I can be near you.

COREY Really?

AJ Yeah.

COREY FALLS INTO AJ'S ARMS. AJ TWIRLS HER AROUND. THEY KISS

CUT ACROSS EMPIRE RECORDS SIGN

STAFF DANCE SCENES

PULL AWAY FROM BUILDING AS CREDITS START ROLLING

FADE TO CREDITS

FADE IN (CREDITS STILL ROLLING)

MARK AND EDDIE IN FRONT OF STORE

MARK ... that, that guy. Whatever his name is. What's his name, er, that dude with the shaved head. The liar guy.

EDDIE Henry Rawlins?

MARK Yeah, yeah, the guy with the tattoos all over him.

EDDIE I admit Henry Rawlins is sort of a puss.

MARK Yeah, he's a total puss. His lyrics suck.

EDDIE You can't go down and put down The Misfits, man. They had, they had like, everything it took to be a great punk band. They had good bass lines, and, and like, strong guitar chords, even though there was only three, but it -

MARK They didn't even compare to Primus, man. They were that old-school style -

EDDIE Primus? Why get into Primus? Primus suck.

MARK Primus is the new stuff. There's always -, I mean the, the, out with the old, in with the new kinda thing.

EDDIE Evolution's a bad thing if Primus is what's gonna come around.

MARK What are you talking about?

EDDIE I'm talking about the fact that Primus has nothing, man. They've got, like, good bass lines, I'll admit that.

MARK They have beautiful bass lines. Six string, fretless bass.

EDDIE But they're not as good as, like, like, The Pixies. The Pixies have way better bass lines than that, than, than Primus, man.

MARK So why didn't they stick around?

EDDIE Well, you know, cos people wanted to do solo careers and explore themselves as single entities instead of a band.

MARK But that's, I don't know, but that's like money, you know?

EDDIE No, it's not about money.

MARK Yeah it is.

EDDIE What are you talking about. Money? It's not about money at all. It's about -

MARK When you've got a band together, when you've got band.

EDDIE Yeah?

MARK And everything's going fine ....

FADE OUT TO CREDITS. 1

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