White hand inspired tirades

Bowring Blackwatch

This section below and several others like it on the Blackwatch page contain blatant sit-com ripoffs, so if you are squeamish about people transforming something pretty funny into something entirely retarded, please do not read on.

Congrats girls, you're the first jerk-offs on our newest list. Ya see Barbie, when you PK one of our crew, then we let you sit for a week in our HQ without retaliating and only ask an explanation, it's not whining. It's called following a doctorine. --- And now you've both run off like the sissies you are.

Clearly, I missed several spelling mistakes, but I don't want to spend all day giving dumbasses spelling lessons, or else I would help my nephews with their homework.

The newest PKers "The White Hand" ... girls, our reputation is without question regarding our doctrine as a survivor group.

I replied to his fancy little insult with the following.

As much as I hate to see a good imitation Dr.Cox tirade with a dash of bad spelling and grammar (which I just generously corrected for you), I regret to inform you that the White Hand no longer exists. See you folks around! =) - Pizzaboy Sean 19:31, 18 February 2008 (UTC)

Which inspired him to write THIS.

Hey Pizzaboy Assmonkey. I have no Idea who *Dr. Cox* is - probably some Oprah Winfrey daytime talk show Quack Thief - so go F*ck yourself and my *imitation* of him - and go F*ck your *generous* spelling and grammar corrections because I don't give a rat's ass. I write this in sporadic free seconds throughout the day - or if I'm sh*tfaced at night - either way it's all ... whatever.

Your sissy group *disbanded* because they got bitch slapped by a bunch of retarded loose ends (that's us) who only wake up to ... well, bitch slap annoying people like yourself. + - + - You, and people like you, are the same F*ck muppets who drive 40 MPH in the fast lane with an attitude like your daddy paid to have that lane paved ... then, speed up to 90 mph to prevent me from passing you on the right ... and then curse me out your side window like a short bus rider in a hockey helmet when I do pass you at 100 mph ... and then you call the cops and call me a road rager. F*CK YOU and everyone like you - MOVE TO THE SLOW LANE BITCH, and STOP hacking our WIKI you sock in mouth butt-pirate. --Akdov 01:09, 23 February 2008 (UTC)

I suppose we should have expected some kind of juvenile retort from somebody who gets intoxicated before editing a wiki for Urban Dead, then stops imitating the show scrubs after denying it and getting a little angry that the source of what I'm supposing are attempts at sassy humor now make him look like a shitstabber to an even greater extent than do his 'oh my gosh I am drunk lets have drinks in urbandead because we're cool!' tendencies.

And taking the credit for our disbanding due to members getting bored with the game? Cute, but kind of silly. Unless the Blackwatch is inexplicably boring our members with a secret laser, in which case I refute the preceding statement. And as far as your claim of Bitch slapping us? Hardly. Unless your intent was to defeat us through headbutting all of our buckshot(and thereby leaving us without ammo), in which case I again refute the preceding statement, because if that is what you meant by bitch slap, then bitch slap us you did.

I suppose I really should be putting asterisks in my swear words lest the mother you undoubtedly still reside with read this over your shoulder and give you a wedgie for having a part in the use of such foul language, but I'm afraid I shall be doing no such thing and therefore your underwear is in great danger of smearing, and perhaps a bit of ripping depending on the strength of your mother. I could see YOUR mother being a bit burly, so you had best have another tab with an educational page on it in the unlikely event she barges in, so you can switch quickly and avoid skidmarks.

As far as the "You, and people like you" passage, it's just kind of pathetic. Particularly if written while drunk, as the author claims, as the normally omnipresent second grade quality writing present in his dumbassery gets a leg up to eighth grade level dumbassery, and we've all got escalating hopes that the next dose of dipshit will be sophomoric. I mean, chances are he read that somewhere while watching television and made a mental note to totally own somebody on the internet anyway, but on the off chance that you didn't just rip it off of some show, I'm going to show you how simple it is to be an assbag who randomly consolidates insults into a 'people like you statement', in order to attempt hilarity (I suppose it would be succeeded hilarity if my friends were all booze-centric dweebs).

You, and people like you, are the same chicken shit nerds who get beat up by the cooler nerds, and then take all of that pent-up dweeb aggression and attempt to act hypermasculine on the internet, yet you come off like one of those special kids whose parents makes them wear an equally special helmet to protect you while you walk and yet still has managed to suffer sever head trauma (through dogged persistent head banging or sheer retardation, I do not pretend to know). You then grow up into the sad kind of man who drinks a smirnoff or two with his cats(probably periodically interspersed with an episode of scrubs and a bit of child pornography) and gets on the internet to act hardcore, a monument to the macho man that he dreamed of being as a child. Look, do us both a favor, go out to your mother's garage and drink all of the fluid from her radiator. You're a pathetic piece of shit, just go get your estate in order so that your numerous cats aren't left with nothing and kick the fucking bucket.

-Yes, such a swap of insults is very funny, and an excellent opportunity to conjure up new insults, but entirely irrelevant. I love a good insult swap as much as the next guy, but you folks are severely outclassed in this arena. I guess the truth is, I love the Blackwatch and I just have a funny way of showing it.

ROAR

I'm just going to list a bit of our history with ROAR here, it was quite a fun run we had with them, as they are a lovely bunch of people.

Wait a minute here. You took a headshot as a zombie and started PKing people? Didn't you just complain about DORIS being a bunch of PKers? spend the 6 AP to stand up, laugh at the silly waste of AP, and stop being a fascist. I don't like DEM because they try to regulate how people play the game through a series of actions that bear a striking resemblance to yours. A zombie taking a headshot is not an acceptable reason to start killing people who were not even involved. Go shoot Sonny and the rest of DORIS. Keep the safety on when you're here. You're not helping our survivors by killing them out of pettiness. Gert Rude

This is a particularly funny bit to us. Fascists? Seriously? And an actual rebellion against the Urban Dead DEM? The same DEM that is a shit-tastic excuse for people to PK without retribution? At least we take our retribution when it is handed to us, indeed a good scrap is what makes the game worth playing. Also of particular note here is that Gert Rude, bleeding heart of ROAR, is now PKer in the group Columbine Kids. Interesting, to say the least.

http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc144/Megaduce_Flare/Urban%20Dead%20Stuff/WikiBS001.jpg

To which I say PROVE IT!!

Right now we're the ones getting hammered by members of The White Hand, not the other way around. Megaduce

We just found this one a little bit funny, because while we don't actually graffiti with outright lies like that, our mole from a survivor group did it anyway. I felt kind of bad for Megaduce, he's a great guy. Couldn't prove it obviously, because it wasn't true. Most of the other Tirades involving ROAR involve Gumbjork, a pioneer in the art of griefing. Sadly, he has left us because he was a plant from a pro-survivor group(which one, we do not know.). For more grade A arguing, just go to the ROAR forums and read some of the old White Hand posts. It's really good, spirited stuff.

Malton Mental Hospital

This complaint was voiced on the discussion tab of the White Hand page.

11/02/07 - firefighterbob01 has been griefing ROAR members in McKay Lane PD. We just killed Bob. This is part of Miskatonic University. We are in charge of MU. Bob is now on our KOS list. We have been revived by ROAR members numerous times. The White Hand has done nothing for Arkham. Love, Malton Mental Hospital.

I suppose I only included this one because of the utterly pretentious silliness of MMH, and how the comment read somewhat like a ransom note, until the surprisingly sweet sign-off. Control MU? Seriously? It's very hard to take threats from a group of under 5 people who are all inactive with a straight face, indeed I did not manage it myself. Being the saintly kind of guy that I am, I'm going to give you folks a little tip. YOU CAN'T CONTROL A HUGE AREA WITH 2 PEOPLE. Feel free to prove me wrong, by the way.