User:Pestolence

Pestolence: Chase me, ladies, I'm the cavalry.

Main | Talk | Sandbox | Signature | Navigator Mistah Kurtz - he daid. Nearly Empty Sidebar Here's a sidebar, where templates and other crap like that go. It'll slowly grow as my main page does, because a long sidebar and a tiny page look really ugly together. Point not found I fail to see the point of life. Zombie River Tactics I am the void that devours all. American This user is American. Libertarian This user is Libertarian. STFU N00B This user recognizes the difference between a Newbie and a Noob. No Life This user has nothing better to do than sit around all day and refresh Recent Changes.. Soylent This user adds soylent when cooking. Templates make FUNFUN! This user thinks that templates are a fun and exciting way to express your opinion! Urban Dead This user plays Urban Dead. Wow, what are the odds? Zombish HGhARRZ NMnGBHAaGB NMRZHAMZ RZBZHAaBGRZ zHRmbARRZh. Proud To Be Dead This user is a zombie and proud of it. Wiki Stuff I'm a new member of the wiki; as such, there is not too much of anything on my user page yet. On the wiki, I vote and comment on Suggestions and Developing Suggestions, and have begun to try to help with upkeep by fixing redirects and putting a couple pages up for deletion. I try to help out other newbies with reminders to sign posts, helpful links, etc. I am pretty competent at coding due to long experience on Wikipedia, but I am still learning. History I came to Urban Dead in April of 2008, as a result of that brain-eating viral on a friend's myspace page. When I first started the game, I probably set a record for most characters started, then abandoned two days later. After going through about 10 names, I finally picked one and started as a firefighter in the southwest. I moved that character up to Paynterton and Starlingtown, and joined the South Paynterton Aces. In this process, I created The Night on Fire, a PKer alt, and he joined the Columbine Kids. After retiring my Ace, and rolling with the Columbine Kids for a while, I created a new firefighter, Pestolence, who eventually window dived and became a career zombie with the Feral Undead. My now freelance PKer and my zombie are the only characters I play regularly now. If you want to know more about me or my characters, you can click on the links in the navigator at the top of my page. --Pestolence(talk) About Me I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college.