Phil's Freaks

Phil's Freaks
Abbreviation:	Freaks
Group Numbers:	21
Leadership:	Psychophil
Goals:	To have fun while paroding our favorite ex-DHPD member
Recruitment Policy:	Just join! We need the dues!
Contact:	Just show up in... TAPton maybe? The Bainton Arms perhaps? I guess one would also say you could go to Club Meade in Dunell Hills, but thats just a rumor.

Please note 1 "L" and the apostrophe...

For the love of PsychoPhil... wait a minute... thats not love. Thats not love at ALL.

Friar Tuck:"This is grain... which any fool can eat. But for which the Lord intended, a more divine means of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker, and glory to His bounty, by learning about..... beer."

Kitten Throwing

• If you want to join Phil's Freaks you have to want to drink beer and throw kittens!
• I do! I do want to drink beer and throw kittens!
• Oh yeah? How much?
• [pause] A-Lot!
• Right, you're in.

This one looks like its good throwing size.

Members

Currently we are 70th from the bottom... So the middleish?

Active:

1. PsychoPhil's monkey
   
2. PsychoDrPhil
   
3. PsychoPhilmonter
   
4. PsychoPhilerup
   
5. PsychoPhillis
   
6. PsychoPhilanthropist
   
7. Psychophil For Pres
   
8. Sgt McReedy (there's always one weirdo)
   
9. PsychoPill (doesn't have to drink due to the obvious, but he does anyway...)
10. PsychoticPhil
    
11. PsychicPhil
    

PsychoPhil's Monkey.

Honorary Freaks:

1. Officer Otep (for executing the warrant on psychophill in Club Meade)
   
2. ShepChop (for supporting the Freaks while they were starting out)
   
3. PsychoPhil (Der...)
   
4. billybobz Official Phil's Freaks zed Mascot.
5. BrianB (One of our best customers and great friend!)
6. solvor (Our new club security specialist! His aim improves with each drink!)

Once a Freak; Now a Geek:

1. psychedelicphil (has apparently joined Red Rum)

Inactive:

1. PsychoPhillip
   
2. PsychoPhilmographer
   
3. PsychoPhillipians
   
4. RoboPhil
   
5. Phil'dwithbeer
   
6. PhilOcifer
   
7. PsychoPhilistine
   
8. PsychoPhylactory
   
9. PsychoSyPhilis
   

Imposters, Assholes & Annoyances:

1. Nadville (Annoyance) http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=642012 Destroyed our lighted beer can pyramid (Christmas tree)
2. Silver slayer (asshole) http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=314692 Killed PsychoPhil's Monkey
3. PsychoPhill (imposter & asshole) http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=453724 (note the double L at the end)
4. Minions of the Apocalypse Despite our 'open door for thirsty zombies' policy, they came in and trashed the place. Oh, and killed a bunch of us as well.
5. KillingDoctor (asshole) http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=592473 Killed PsychicPhil
6. Jarl Clarky (asshole) http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=607587 Killed Psychophil For Pres, PsychoPill, PsychoPhilerup and shot at PsychoDrPhil

Qualifications

We don't take just anyone. IF you want to be a member of Phil's Freaks you have to display extensive knowledge of beer and the brewing process. Not to mention extensive ability to enjoy beer itself.

A member of Phil's Freaks demonstrating his extensive ability to enjoy beer.

Location

We don't have a current HQ, due to constantly losing battles to The Bear Patrol for the Bainton Arms in the suburb of Tapton. A few members have also extended the franchise in the Dunell Hills area with an expansion into Club Meade, which now serves as our main HQ.

Specialty Brews

Phil's Freaks is proud to announce our latest brew: Super Robot Monkey. Super Robot Monkey is a Honey Brown Ale. Just don't ask where we got the 'honey' from.

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• Feel free to try out our first specialty brew, Screaming Pineapple Head IPA (India Pale Ale). Screaming Pineapple Head is made with bits of real Willis the talking Pineapple.

• Another specialty brew has been announced. Exploding Marty Doublebock is now available at the Bainton Arms in Tapton and Club Meade in Dunell Hills.

• Our extra strong brew; Classified as a lager, They are called Intestinal Eviscerators. The recipe is a guarded secret; but they seem to taste like a cross between a delisciously smooth pilsner, tequila, and the stale sweat of hell's firey corpses covered in hot magma.

• It has arrived! the drink of the season! our special creation for this Christmas all across Malton. The new creamy, strong, and possibly lethal...

PsychoNOG!!!! The eggnog with a horse kick!!!

Testimonial: "After Drinking this, I can now say I saw Christmas Past, Present, and Future all at once!!" --Marty Banks (aka. Mundane) <DHPD> 20:10, 18 December 2007 (UTC)

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Check back later for more Specialty Brews.

Phil-osophies

1. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.-Henny Youngman
2. 24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?-Stephen Wright
3. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.- Dean Martin
4. Beer: because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine.
5. Drink more beer... Zombies will look better.
6. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. (originally said by Ben Franklin in Philedelphia no less.)
7. You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. -Frank Zappa
8. He was a wise man who invented beer.-Plato
9. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.-Dave Barry
10. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, That's as good as they're going to feel all day.- Frank Sinatra
11. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. -Ernest Hemingway
12. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. -Ernest Hemingway
13. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.- W.C. Fields
14. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.-Oscar Wilde
15. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.-Tom Waits
16. Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. -Winston Churchill
17. Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.-Kaiser Wilhelm
18. I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.-Homer Simpson
19. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.-Dave Barry
20. An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout .(Unknown)
21. All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.-Homer Simpson
22. Alcohol, the cause and solution to all of life's problems.-Homer Simpson
23. Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. -Robert A. Heinlein
24. I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
25. When I get out of here, I'm going to Africa to drink stronger beer and throw bigger kittens!!! -Anonymous

The Buffalo Theory

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this.... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members."

"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Standing Orders

1. Make Beer
2. Drink Beer
3. Deliver Beer to Club Meade (see rule 1 if rule 2 makes rule 3 impossible)

Allies

Everyone has friends that they like to get drunk with!
Dunell Hills Police Department

Badges

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	This user or group supports the Sacred Ground Policy and acknowledges that all Cemeteries in the city of Malton are considered Revivification Points.

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