St. Birgitta's Church: Difference between revisions
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==St. Birgitta's Church== | ==St. Birgitta's Church== | ||
===Description=== | ===Description=== | ||
[[Image:Birgittachurch.jpg|thumb|left|320px|St Fatty's.]] | |||
A derelict 10th century stone church, dwarfed by the grassy mound in its grounds. | |||
===History=== | ===History=== | ||
This church is named after [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridget_of_Sweden St. Birgitta], patron saint not only of Sweden but also of the morbidly obese. | |||
Birgitta was a comely Swedish virgin, orphaned when her Viking father was slaughtered on a raid in Pegton. Adopted by Christians and realising that her only hope of retaining her virginity among the lascivious youths of Pegton was to become obscenely fat, she gorged herself daily on Pegtonian delicacies. Eschewing her low-fat native dishes such as gravadlax in favour of deep-fried pig in clotted cream, she achieved her earthly goal of weighing 40 stone and her heavenly goal of remaining carnally unknown to man or boy throughout her life. | |||
On her death by suffocation at the age of 33 (she choked on a roll of her own fat in her sleep), her coffin was carried by two-dozen panting mourners and she was buried under a massive earth mound on which the present-day church was built. 'Birgitta's Bower' became a shrine and place of pilgrimage for the obese. The all-women order of the Birgittians lived near the church for a millennium, obeying a strict vow of obesity by eating up to a dozen meals a day and taking no exercise. | |||
McDonald's had major plans for redeveloping the site with a drive-thru restaurant for worshippers, but these were frozen by the arrival of gluttonous yet scrawny zombies. | |||
===Barricade Policy=== | ===Barricade Policy=== | ||
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<br style='clear: both' /> | <br style='clear: both' /> | ||
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[[Category:Churches]] | [[Category:Churches]] | ||
[[Category:Pegton]] | [[Category:Pegton]] | ||
Revision as of 18:43, 8 April 2010
| St. Birgitta's Church
Pegton [81, 55]
Basic Info:
|
St. Birgitta's Church
Description
A derelict 10th century stone church, dwarfed by the grassy mound in its grounds.
History
This church is named after St. Birgitta, patron saint not only of Sweden but also of the morbidly obese.
Birgitta was a comely Swedish virgin, orphaned when her Viking father was slaughtered on a raid in Pegton. Adopted by Christians and realising that her only hope of retaining her virginity among the lascivious youths of Pegton was to become obscenely fat, she gorged herself daily on Pegtonian delicacies. Eschewing her low-fat native dishes such as gravadlax in favour of deep-fried pig in clotted cream, she achieved her earthly goal of weighing 40 stone and her heavenly goal of remaining carnally unknown to man or boy throughout her life.
On her death by suffocation at the age of 33 (she choked on a roll of her own fat in her sleep), her coffin was carried by two-dozen panting mourners and she was buried under a massive earth mound on which the present-day church was built. 'Birgitta's Bower' became a shrine and place of pilgrimage for the obese. The all-women order of the Birgittians lived near the church for a millennium, obeying a strict vow of obesity by eating up to a dozen meals a day and taking no exercise.
McDonald's had major plans for redeveloping the site with a drive-thru restaurant for worshippers, but these were frozen by the arrival of gluttonous yet scrawny zombies.
Barricade Policy
Entry Point. Keep at VSB++!
Current Status
Currently Very Strongly barricaded. I saw nothing east or north of here in Pegton that can make that claim. Taking a long nap. --AleViola 05:47, 13 February 2008 (UTC)
