Cult of the crocodile/News Archive

News Archive

This is the News Archive for The Cult of the Stuffed Crocodile.

2008

December 2nd, 2008: It seems like months since the last time the Temple stood... Dunningwood, and indeed most of the city, is in ruins. At times like these it can be hard to keep the faith, but still, in the ruins of Zgararn BG, we Braarz za Grargargarah!

October 15th, 2008: The holy temple is up and running again. The stuffed CROC has been placed back on his throne. An Old Blind Man has found his way back. If you need revives stand out in front of the buildings and I will revive you as fast as I can.~Wounded Coyote~

October 9th, 2008: Again, the evil minions of the Alligator have profanated our most holy Temple, after a 3 days siege. We salute the children and the guests of the Croc that fell with honor to defend His sacred ground. While once more we lay down to sleep the dreamless sleep, we keep the faith in His Almighty Scales, that may hold us in a warm embrace while we once more Braarz za Grargargarah!!!

September 10th, 2008: The members of the cult have decided to dedicate the 13th of September to the all holy crocodile. To participate stock up on flares and shoot them wildly into the air outside the Skarin Row PD.

August 29th, 2008: The Temple is recovered once more, but an angry field zergling has plagued us with stuffed tiger heads and similar non-Crocolicious animal decorations. There is a subtle undercurrent of wailing and gnashing of teeth, but no real plans on what to do about it.

August 11th, 2008: The minions of the Alligator have struck the Temple by surprise in the dead of night, and all the worshippers are slain. Once more we Braarz za Grargargarah!

July 28th, 2008: For so long now, things have been peaceful in the Temple of the Toothy Lord. Apart from the irritating Alligator graffiti that continues to plague us, there is nothing to annoy the Cult. But there may be clouds on the horizon, fleeing survivors have told us rumours of a new zombie horde in the west. With the Scales of the Crocodile to protect us, we shall fear no evil.

June 26th, 2008: The dead have overtaken Skarin Row once again, and to make things more annoying someone is spraying alligator tags everywhere. As of now there are no suspects. Our brothers will remain strong and secure the temple in the name of His Scaly Greatness!

It's been reclaimed again... seriously, it's all getting too confusing, am I dead or alive??? --Cman yall 23:33, 27 June 2008 (BST)

June 23th, 2008: The Lynch is back at Skarin Row. Is there no justice?

June 13th, 2008: Black friday. After holding out for just short of two weeks, the temple finally fell to the horde. No doubt the Alligator chuckles evilly in his lair at the bottom of the Styx.

• They can tear and bloody our sacred zookeeper uniforms, but they cannot make us take them off! Braarz za Grargargarah!!--Cman yall 23:55, 13 June 2008 (BST)
• They'll be lucky if I keep mine on.--Lynch47 22:50, 25 June 2008 (BST)

June 11th, 2008: The Qızılbaş, while few in number, revere the Crocodile as a living divine and his expired avatars are equally sacred. You should mark us as friendly...

• Welcome Qızılbaş. Your friendly status is welcomed by the Cult of the Crocodile. Your counsel of "Tanāsukh" (migration of soul) is both wise and good. Derka Derka Crocodile!

June 8th, 2008 After weeks of inter-group squabbling the Cult of the Crocodile and the Malton Underground have agreed to share a common radio frequency. Croc Rock® and 26.69 STFMU® can be tuned into at, well, if it wasn't obvious, 26.69 FM. Further to the sharing of the radio frequency, the Cult of the Crocodile and the Malton Underground have formed a general alliance. Key to the formation of this alliance were the diplomatic radio broadcasts of the 7,159*-time PKer, Bizkit"I can't believe I was diplomatic for the first time ever"66, and the ever-inspirational TMX Elmo. Surely there is nothing that can stop the spread of the Crocodile's gospel now! *Actual PK tally may differ from that indicated.

June 1st, 2008 Zombie activity is on the rise again after a quiet month. The cultists of the Toothy One pray to Him for more ammo as they frantically search the Holy PD.

May 29th, 2008 The [known] Lynch alts have retired from the world of Malton. Their lifeless bodies can be found in Cranston Park. In an exclusive interview The Lynch revealed that he was was bitter towards the Bizkit alts for ignoring a publicly declared ceasefire and for their continued PKing. The Bizkit alts claim that the ceasefire was not observed by either side. Where is The Lynch now? He is an ordinary character, leading an ordinary life, perhaps amongst us as yet another [secret] alt.

April 29th, 2008 After almost a month of being dead, many Cultists have been returned to life. The undead tide has receded... for now. The Cultists remain vigilant, knowing that the minions of the Alligator may still be in the area.

April 2nd, 2008 The more things change, the more things stay the same. Once more the Holy PD is ruined, and all good Cultists braarz za Grargargarah.

March 2nd, 2008 We are blessed by our Toothy Lord, for once more Skarin PD is barricaded and lit. The Cultists rejoice, and stock up on ammo, and once more cries of "Praise the Crocodile!" ring in our ears.

Febuary 19th, 2008 The area is devastated, with ruined buildings as far as the eye can see. Reduced to undeath, the Cultists have no choice but to Braarz za Grargargarah in the shattered remnants of His Temple of Taxidermy.

Febuary 12th, 2008 Once again the pendulum has swung in favour of the living followers of the Crocodile, and the temple at Skarin stands barricaded. Inside are two avatars of the Toothy Lord, which is bound to cause an argument sooner or later. Many of the nearby buildings is still in ruins, though, so it is to be hoped that the arguments can take a back seat to the project of restoring safety to the area.

Febuary 4th, 2008 Bra!nz! Hehe. I just love the sight of Skarin with that darkish grey, does so much for the visual pleasure of it. You should seriously consider keeping it permanent. Love eating ya'll as always. --Hitokiri 04:37, 5 February 2008 (UTC)

• Though the followers of the Alligator can eat our brains, they can't eat our spirits, and in death we Brarz za Grargargarah! --Cman yall 05:12, 5 February 2008 (UTC)

'Febuary 2nd', 2008 The temple stands, for now, with an avatar of Our Toothy Lord therein. A few of the scattered Cultists have returned to worship, but the zombie minions of the Alligator continue to break in periodically. In faith, and in courage, the Cult stands defiant - Praise the Crocodile!

January 22nd, 2008 I would like to congratulate all of you on your short lived re-taking of Skarin. I look forward to eating your BRAINZ in there soon enough. --Hitokiri 01:59, 23 January 2008 (UTC)

January 19th, 2008 DALI, the DvEM and local ferals would like to say "graz!ah" for the tasty buffet at Skarin Row Police Department and the two nearby hospitals. We find Croc Cultists to be wonderfully flavoursome. And we're now keeping score to see who can destroy the most crocs in the area. Please place more of them. --RichardUptonPickman 13:25, 19 January 2008 (UTC)

• Brarz za Grargargarah! We remain loyal in life and death. Do not think your strike will vex us!

January 15th, 2008 Things are not looking so hot for your HQ, 17 zeds inside, everyone infected and 3 already dead. And then there's the 19 more outside.

• I agree. The undead have gathered, and the fate of the temple looks grim. It seems many of us will be praising the Crocodile from beyond this life. Let's do our best to win! Acidical 03:35, 16 January 2008 (UTC)

• It is grim, alright, we may have little choice but to brarz za Grargargarah in zombie form. Let us hope that the invading zeds are not Alligator worshippers, if they are, they'll probably destroy the Stuffed Avatar of our Toothy Lord --Cman yall 17:21, 16 January 2008 (UTC)

January 14th, 2008 The Temple of the Toothy Lord is under attack by a small horde of zombies, who obviously do not realise the power of the Crocodile. If they knew what they faced, they would flee in terror. It is up to the Scaled One's cultists to teach them the error of their ways.

January 11th, 2008 The deranged emo Reathxia has returned, and many of the Scaly One's followers are away defending the outpost of His temple. In such times it is hard to recruit more cultists for the glory of our Toothy Lord, and more talented preachers are required.

January 8, 2008 While the sister temple fell under attack and many rushed to its aid, Reathxia has not been seen for several days, bringing a peace long sought to His Holy Temple.

2007

December 25th 2007 A merry Crocmas was had by all on this snowy day.

October 31st 2007 Constant non-believer and self-proclaimed 'enemy' of the Cult of the Stuffed Crocodile Reathxia continues to torment our Holy Temple and followers of His Tooth Visage. Let us all pray that The Great Crocodile shall mend her ways.

October 29th 2007 The Holy PD is restored once more, as the zergling tide recedes, and now His temple is bothered only by honest zombies. As the dust settled, we His children looked around and saw the new shape of the decorations, and they are 10 european paintings, 3 stuffed monkeys, and ony Holy Avatar. Arguments about the significance of the monkeys are expected to begin shortly.

October 12th 2007 In what has become something of an official cult theme, the cult is now withstanding yet another attack on the holy temple. A horde of a dozen zombies, blatantly zerging, have cut down cultists like monkeys. The Crocodile has not abandoned us as recent spray-painted propoganda would lead us to believe. He tries us in mysterious ways that we may prove ourselves righteous and worthy. Prove yourself righteous and worthy.

September 30th 2007 The attacks by the Flowers of Disease continue, and many cultists lie dead outside the Scaled one's temple, but even in death we Brarz za Grargargarah! The minions of the alligator cannot defeat us, the cult will stand strong.

September 15th 2007 After much adversity the Cult finally has good news to relish. LYNCH47 has established a satellite temple on the eastern border of Dunningwood. A single crocodile avatar representing the one true lord of lords has been erected along with 12 monkeys. Two theories currently exist for the placement of the monkeys; First, that they are the attendants of the crododile and that they came with him from an African waterhole. Second, that they represent his loyal followers who are monkeys by comparison to his scaly magnificance. Either way, the Cult is spreading the good news of the Crocodile, building faith and shining a brilliant beacon of hope in our dark city. It is estimated that all three police departments in Dunningwood will soon be temples of our scaly lord!

September 12th 2007 LYNCH47 has entered the holy temple and declared the Alligator false and tricksy. He will enter the holy temple seven times to make this declaration and praise the one true host of hosts, the scaly Crocodile. After the seventh declaration LYCNH47 will be redeemed and will spend the remainder of his days worshipping the holy Crocodile at Lord Boulevard's police department on eastern border of Dunningwood. LYCNH47's only fear is that he has so few days left in his life to worship the exalted Crocodile.

September 8th 2007 With much sacrifice, the alligator avatars defiling Skarin were destroyed, and the barricades rebuilt. Most of the cult are alive once more. But in their moment of triumph, the Alligator has struck back, as its followers infiltrated and defiled Skarin PD once more. Great is the dismay among the Cultists, some feel that the Crocodile is testing their faith, others fear that the evil Alligator is ascendant.

September 3rd 2007 In these twisted times it is hardly surprising that the Cult of the Crocodile must now perform the work of the Alligator (killing innocents in Skarin Row PD) to return the Holy Temple to the Crocodile. It is a sad day that sees the Crocodile unable to defend his own temple in the first place. Surely the Crocodile will guide the cultists through these times of trial... Or will they turn to the Alligator and the dark side?

September 2nd 2007 The servants of the alligator have defiled His Temple of Taxidermy with stuffed alligator avatars. This cannot be tolerated by the Cult, but the avatars have some evil power preventing the living from destroying them. The cultists only choice has been mass suicide, and in death they are tearing down the walls of Skarin to destroy these abominations.

September 2^nd 2007 As the horde moves on, Skarin PD has been cleared of lingering Zombies, repaired, and barricaded. Praise the Crocodile, His temple is in survivor hands again.

August 31st 2007 Perhaps as many as 70 zombies, made up of a mix of Lynch47's zergling-suspect alligator worshippers, random opportunists, and members of the zombie horde LUE, have destroyed Skarin PD. Leaving the loyal followers of our Toothy Lord scattered, or lying dead on the road outside, these zombies also defiled Our Scaled Master's sanctum with stuffed alligators. Mrrrggggh, one of the dead, was so incensed by this sacrilege that he was witnessed shouting "Arrargagarh? NAAAAA!!!" and destroying the abominable alligator avatars. Fortunately zombies can still follow our toothy lord, and throughout the north west corner of Dunningwood, the rallying cry of "brarz za Grargargarah!" can still be heard. Though many are unhappily dead, surely the Crocodile will help us through these dark times.

August 30th 2007 A new chapter of our cult has opened in Dartside. any member with a spare stuffed crocodile should head to Blakesley Grove Police Dept and place it there.

August 29th 2007 The "Flowers of Disease" claim to control the area where our lord was birthed; for they are indeed servants of the Alligator, and the Alligator's "cabin boy"...The "Hypnotoad. However unknown to them it has never been under our control, the zoo is under constant rampage from zombies and there will always be the struggle for his holy light and always has been, since he left the zoo. However the FOD's control of the reptile house begs another question. Just how desperate are these flowers? Do they seriously expect this to demoralize us? Or do they even know that all them controlling the reptile house is going to do is make it a little harder for initiates to join our cult? In the end it doesn't matter. But hey! At least we know our cult is so cool that we have to have other cults try and take us out!

August 22th 2007 Dispite cowardly attacks from "the flowers of disease" we march steadily on in our servitude for the crocodile. They attack, kill one or two of us, and run off, they have no idea how much larger we are than them, they will meet the crocodile's justice for worshiping their false idol, it has come to be known that they are indeed in alliance with the alligator, for they worship the "Hypnotoad" wich in reality is some retarted GIF image. They do not know we control all of Dunningwood and have unlimited revivication needles at our disposal. Crocodile bless us in the coming conflict, aid us in finding ammo, and if we die, pray for a quick rez.

August 20th 2007 A radio message was received in Skarin PD by an unknown soldier of the crocodile.

"Im sorry, I don't know if anyone will get this. I have found one of the murderers who has troubled the Holy PD, however I am too low on ammo and exhausted, as I just got revived. He is in Heighmore Library, south of the altar of our Toothy Lord. I think that is their hideout as i saw Rob the other day and killed him there."

Incensed with wrath that anyone would dare to invade our Scaled Master's temple, followers of the Taxidermied Terror shall no doubt deal with the evil-doers. But their origin troubles us all... could they be minions of the Alligator? Or are they merely misguided lunatics?

August 14th 2007 The battle for the Jerusalem of Malton, Skarin PD, has ended suddenly and peacefully. Skarin PD has been restored and the zombie wave that maliciously slaughtered people for the last week has subsided. Praise be to the Crocodile for lending his will to the restoration of his holy temple!

August 12th 2007 With the blessings of the Scaly One, a new source of necrotech syringes has been found, 5 blocks to the south-east of Skarin PD. The light in its windows welcome all followers of our Toothy Lord, but it as yet lacks an avatar of the Crocodile.

August 10th 2007 Lynch47 attempted to lure Mrrrggggh to, what Mrrrggggh believes, is the dark side. Mrrrggggh refused to join the heretic Lynch47 in his absurd crusade to rid Skarin PD of the extra Crocodiles. Mrrrggggh is quoted as saying "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Suffering leads to your mum". In Lynch47's opinion Mrrrggggh is gay. The Canner Building remains in the control of 8 zombies who may or may not be related to the group attacking Skarin PD. Three members of the cult have fallen. The surviving cultists pray for their speedy rebirth.

August 9th 2007 An organised group of zombies has begun a siege on the holy temple of the Crocodile God. Lynch47 remains defiant of the cult & he has vowed to remove what he, apparently, believes are false crocodile idols placed on the holy mantle to test the wisdom of the cult. The Canner Building has fallen again with, at last report, 8 zombies standing inside. These are dark times with so many tests threatening our beliefs yet the Crocodile God is with us and we can not fail!

August 8th 2007 A small group of our Scaled Lord's warriors attacked the zombies in the Canner Building, a Necrotch facility near Skarin PD, and recaptured it for the survivor cause. It still lacks an avatar of His Scaly Majesty, and a generator, but these things will come in time. Soon many revivification syringes will be available to restore out fallen brothers to the ranks of the living.

August 7th 2007 Lynch47, an up til now fine upstanding member of the Cult, has apparently suffered a mental breakdown of some kind, and no longer wishes to be a part of our group. He claims to still follow the teachings of our Scaled Protector, but many suspect that he has come under the influence of the Alligator. If you see Lynch47, be extremely cautious.

July 26th 2007 Undead resistance continues with sporadic break-ins, but the horde that demolished Skarin PD and destroyed His avatar has moved on. For now, the Cult is safe, but our Toothy Lord warns us against hubris, and reminds us to be vigilant.

July 22nd 2007 A stuffed alligator has been added to the tableau at Skarin PD, causing much debate about the significance of the collected taxidermy. See the "controversy" section for details.

July 21st 2007 Since the tragic afore mentioned event, the Skarin Row PD has since been retaken by the Cult of the Crocodile. There are now two stuffed crocodile installments, one as the true Scaley Lord, the other, His mistress. Zed resistance still continues outside. --taunibear 21:11, 22 July 2007 (BST)

July 15th 2007 A horde of zombies, ignorant of our Toothy Lord's glory, have laid waste to Skarin PD, and destroyed His stuffed avatar. Great was the lamentation among the followers of our Scaled Master, but all is not lost. Some have survived, and with the blessings of the Crocodile, His Cult will soon reclaim Skarin PD, and once more worship at the altar of the Stuffed Crocodile. --Cman yall 22:21, 15 July 2007 (BST)

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