The Randoms/Delta Cult: Difference between revisions
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*Yea did the King quake, and simper, and his knees did tremble, and he did cease munching cheesemen, for the Mistress had heard his arrogance, and raised Her fist as if to strike him, until he proclaimed Delta first in his heart and lifted his hammer from over Her zealots. | *Yea did the King quake, and simper, and his knees did tremble, and he did cease munching cheesemen, for the Mistress had heard his arrogance, and raised Her fist as if to strike him, until he proclaimed Delta first in his heart and lifted his hammer from over Her zealots. | ||
*Then did a horse come forth in Delta which was not as terrible to behold as one might have heard, and it was not so much pale as covered in flour. And it was called Sherman. And with it came a skinny kid in fancy dress, carrying a plastic scythe. | *Then did a horse come forth in Delta which was not as terrible to behold as one might have heard, and it was not so much pale as covered in flour. And it was called Sherman. And with it came a skinny kid in fancy dress, carrying a plastic scythe. | ||
*But the Mistress was not afraid, and denounced this reaper, and opened wide Her jaws, and jibbering whispers flew forth like bats to sap his sanity, and Her teeth like icicles froze his blood as it flowed from his veins, and he returned to the realm of death he so admired. | **But the Mistress was not afraid, and denounced this reaper, and opened wide Her jaws, and jibbering whispers flew forth like bats to sap his sanity, and Her teeth like icicles froze his blood as it flowed from his veins, and he returned to the realm of death he so admired. | ||
*Thus is the gift of the Mistress. | **Thus is the gift of the Mistress. | ||
*Lo, did Her voice carry on the wind, and it did drift among the young and the untested, and they did hear, and look up, and cry "The Mistress sees us!" And they began in turn to whisper, as She whispered to them, and their whispers infected their comrades until their hissing voices were as many as blades of grass in the wind. | *Lo, did Her voice carry on the wind, and it did drift among the young and the untested, and they did hear, and look up, and cry "The Mistress sees us!" And they began in turn to whisper, as She whispered to them, and their whispers infected their comrades until their hissing voices were as many as blades of grass in the wind. | ||
*And on the sixth day She looked about and saw the beasts of the field and the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and Man, and saw that they were sober. So She raised Her cup, and poured, and when She had finished, all the plants of the earth could be made into delicious booze. And She saw that it was good. But on the seventh day, She was understandably under the weather, and stayed indoors in the dark with Her tea. And this is why the seventh day is the Sabbath, because after drinking that hard, one feels like Ozzy looks. | *And on the sixth day She looked about and saw the beasts of the field and the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and Man, and saw that they were sober. So She raised Her cup, and poured, and when She had finished, all the plants of the earth could be made into delicious booze. And She saw that it was good. But on the seventh day, She was understandably under the weather, and stayed indoors in the dark with Her tea. And this is why the seventh day is the Sabbath, because after drinking that hard, one feels like Ozzy looks. |
Latest revision as of 13:54, 7 September 2009
Recruit: Apply for Sith Indoctrination on The Randoms forums. An extremely brief HistoryIt was Evident that this troupe of Random do-gooders were Different from the others and So it was Decided after Much Pondering, Consumption of Yeasty Beverage and Hitting Blasphemers and Non-Believers with Things that We would not Cower under the Shadow of the Field Marshal's Hammer as the Others would, but that We would Stand Tall in the Light of Freedom. And Thus, on the Twenty Fourth of the Second Month in the Two Thousandth and Eighth Year Anno Domini, the Cult Seceded and became Independent. After doing better on our own than the Villainous Cheeseman deemed appropriate, the Field Marshal cruelly and with much villainy removed our Orange Julius Supply whereupon we began to perish of scurvy. Sick of surviving on little more than mouldy pretzels and the odd furry sweet found down the side of the sofa, Маршал Krae and the Mistress got extremely inebriated and accidentally sold Delta back to The Randoms. Not much has changed since that fateful day. Our wretched laughter reverberates through the streets of Buttville as we gnaw our way through heretic flesh. Echo and Foxtrot Squad continue to attempt to force Delta zealots to denounce the Will of the Mistress by pimp slapping them at every possible opportunity but their persistance has borne no fruit; all Delta members remain devoted. However, three members of EchoTrot have been Enlightened and defected to join in the Glory of Delta Cult including but not limited to Hierophant Kiali, the beloved consort and wife of Darth dude, much to the eternal dismay of the Generalissimo. Our revenge is indeed magnificent. The CharterThere are several larger differences between Delta Cult and the whole of the Randoms, which are mainly policy changes.
Cult Axioms
Unilateral Declaration of IndependenceWhen as Man progresses upon the path of Time it happens that a people should require separation from an other people, and a dissolution of such Government as did previously bind the two peoples one unto another, therefore to assume upon itself a Status both distinct and individual, the Grounds for the action must have a Cause, and that cause being Reasonable must be explicable, and ought therefore be Explained. We hold some several facts self-evident, and unalterable by Man or Body politic:
Such has Delta with patience endured; and such now requires of them, reprimand and repair failing, a replacement of their former body of Government, hereby abolished within the Sector. The history and record of the present Field Marshal of the Randoms is one of constant and deliberate oppressions, malevolence, and injury, common in their goal of unconstrained subjugation and Tyranny over the Sector, as shall be shown presently:
At each of these injuries, we have with Humility and Patience sought redress or recompense; each request brought only further and compounded injury, giving indication thereby of the nature and character of the Field Marshal, and, showing him a Tyrant, demonstrate his inability and unsuitability to govern a Free People. Nor has Delta been negligent in following bureaucratic process; we have with optimistic regularity brought such concerns as could be addressed by the council of Commanders before our fellows under Randoms Rule, reminding them of the esteem in which we held them, and warning them of the unsupportable conditions to which Delta was being subjected by the Government. We have made appeal to their justice, to our brotherhood, to our common state, to renounce these Oppressions and Injuries. They, fearing the Sovereign, or blind to our suffering, became as well Mute, wherefore we must, of necessity, consider them Brothers no longer, and separating ourselves from the State, distance ourselves from its citizens, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends. We, therefore, the Delta Sector Provisional Government, representing the Soviet Empire of Delta Sector, here Assembled, witnessed in trust by the citizens of the Randoms and her Allies, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the citizen-zealots of the Sector, with earnest solemnity and utmost fervor, declare:
And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of the Mistress, we mutually pledge to Her and each Other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor:
Rejoining The Randoms
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