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In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Malton underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... Mostly Harmless.
Who are those handsome devils?
Mostly Harmless is, simply put, a fraternity of magnificent bastards who have come to Malton to save it from the mundane. We are known to strike nightly, often with the fury of a thousand angry housewives. Some will tell you that we are strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. Others will have you know that we once shanked a man so quickly he did not even realize he was dead. And we'll do it again, often without provocation.
In fact, our strikes tend to be so well orchestrated that in our inaugural mission we were accused of zerging. Rather than get upset by such a ridiculous and fraudulent claim, we instead took it as a compliment and testament to our prowess in coordination. We also took that claim to the Christmas dance. Maybe now we'll get in its pants.
It is rumored that Mostly Harmless is not a group of PKers at all, but rather has every intention to eradicate the city of its zombie plight. However, we have terrible aim. Also, we just don't like a lot of
you.
Misadventures in Misanthropy: Not Summer, Nor 2008
For last year's tour, look here.
For some insight into how we think, look here.
For Español, please press two now.
How can this be?!
All Moomins, All The Time - Mostly Harmless Volume II
Dawn Patrol (of the dead)
Because everyone killed them - Mostly Harmless Volume II, Episode I
Responding to a call to arms in the greater Buttonville area with righteous indignation, Mostly Harmless valiantly assisted our dear friends LCGHC in shanking some spare survivors. That is, until we noticed all the bounty hunters in the area. After that, we got totally wasted and hit on them constantly for two weeks, completely ignoring our original goal. Also, we ended up in Ridleybank. How embarrassing.
Free Ridleybonk
BATTAL FOUR BLACKMORE!!11!1 - Mostly Harmless Volume II, Episode II
Like a creepy ex-girlfriend with too much eyeliner and not enough going on in her life, Mostly Harmless stalked its first love, punk rock playboy The Crimson Clan to the depths of hell. It was there that we again found our adoration unrequited. In a fit of Linkin Park rage, MH knocked 19 people down just in time for a heroic zombie to break down the doors in what can only be described as the best timing in the world. We of course ran away like the lot of sissies that we are at the first sign of danger. We may be crazy, but we aren't stupid. Zombies eat people.
After that we stayed in the Nichols area for a while, and I'm not entirely sure why. It's rumored that it had something to do with KSO's undeniably masculine legs.
Mutalisk Harassment
Jaedong > Bisu - Mostly Harmless Volume II, Episode III
Like a pack of angry Mutalisks (with an Overlord in the group), Mostly Harmless stacked up and flew into Axes High's main base in Barhahville, concentrating fire on the many workers there. For three days the Mutalisk Harassment rained down on Barrville until Mostly Harmless destroyed several pylons and absconded on a whim, leaving Axes High confused, lonely, and requiring more vespene gas.
The irony of the attack name is that once MH headed east, we stumbled upon a pack of real zergs. After sufficiently trolling them and evicting them from several safehouses in the Tynte area, MH managed to turn many of the locals against them with clever radio propaganda and left town laughing a hearty "kekeke."
Painfully Polite in Penny Heights
A Kind Word and a Gun - Mostly Harmless Volume II, Episode IV
Firm believers in the ethic of reciprocity, Mostly Harmless arrived in Penny Heights with the intention of treating our neighbours as we would have them do unto us. Then we killed them. It’s the thought that counts, right?
Compliments were exchanged. The shanking knife remained in the right hand in normal circumstances, then passed to the left when used for cutting. Doors were held open for the ladies while they hefted the fresh corpses from the building. All in the name of a little common decency and courtesy.
Knowing our work was done, Mostly Harmless had the hard choice of figuring out where to go next: Moomins or Lockettside. Unfortunately for us, only one of those actually existed in the game...
Lockettside Is Made of Lava
Underwater Escort Mission - Mostly Harmless Volume II, Episode V
Destination? Lockettside. Situation? Lava. Everywhere.
What's a group to do? I'll tell you what. Shoot bounty hunters. And shoot bounty hunters we did, all the while avoiding fiery doom as we held that obnoxious Emma's hand and swam through the mangled wreckage of the Big Shell. Then we realized there were more annoying fish to fry in this fiery sea of dread and cheesy poofs (and more fire) that is the Southwest.
That's when it happened.
Mostly Harmless teamed up with former rivals H.A to become Mostly H.Armless, a player killing, trash-talk spilling, bounty hunting, Hippo punting guild of calamitous intent. Together, Mostly H.Armless helped provide security for MCM's first birthday party by taking out local scumbags, Team Zombie Hardcore. Blue punch was had, griefers were mad, oak trees were sad, all in all it was pretty rad.
Allegiances
Unlike most groups of this caliber, we do not have an extensive friends and foes list. Instead, our views can be summarized as:
Enemies: The people we shank.
Allies: Sometimes we shank them, too.
Even the allies get in trouble!
On a mildly less psychopathic note, if you see us in your general area, feel free to get in touch with us. Perhaps we can work out an agreement. Whether that agreement involves us cooperating, then falling in love but each being too shy to admit it, only to eventually be torn apart by jealousy before a glorious reunion in marriage amidst flashing cameras, to live together for years and years...wait, that's not a policy, that's a chick flick. Seriously, feel free to get in touch. Whether you want to talk, shoot, shank, or any combination of the above at any variety of targets (each other included), we'll see what we can do.
So you want to join?
I knew this would happen. I warned the guys that if we put up a spectacular wiki page that someone would come along and read it. Then it would only be a matter of time before that someone wanted to join us. Look, it's not you. It's us. We've got our whole future ahead of us, and we just don't have time for commitment right now. But damn you look good in those shorts, so here's what we'll do. If you are a PKer, have a great sense of humor, have the ability to take part in strikes/group shankings, and would like to join us, leave a message here or on our talk page and we'll set up something more formal. It will probably involve an interview with ZiP and embarrassing tasks to perform, but it'll be worth it. I promise.
There's also some detailed information on recruitment here.
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