Malton Iditarod

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Truly the most spectacular sporting event Malton has ever seen. The Iditarod is a savage, unforgiving circumnavigation of the borders of Malton. The race is 40+ miles, 8 days, carrying full packs of food, ammunition, first aid, and an axe, with nothing but your competitors and the sunken eyes of the enemy to keep you company.

The return of the Malton Iditarod is a celebration of the victory at the Siege of Caiger Mall. For the first time the undead have not only been stopped, but routed. With this victory high in the hearts of the people of Malton, the Jones Boys and the Malton Defense League would like to announce the return of Malton's most famous event.

It will be a classic affirmation of everything right and true in the character of humanity. A gross physical salute to the fantastic possibilities of life, even in the zombie apocalypse. But only for those with true grit.


The tradition of the Malton winter Iditarod has lasted through the entire history of the city. This will be the first time the event has been held since the outbreak. Spectators will be encouraged to watch the event from both sides of the quarantine line.

All Racers will be encouraged to be intoxicated, play very loud music, and fire wildly in all directions while participating to make sure the deaders know what victory sounds like.

The Race

The Iditarod is a circumnavigation of Malton beginning and ending at the Darvall/Chudleyton line dividing Caiger Mall. The start is marked by the firing of a flare outside the mall.

Code of the Iditarod

Any who wish to join the race or help in scouting a route and safehouses can add to this page.

The Malton Iditarod is a sporting event and not a new faction. It makes no claim to its participants' permenant allegiance or any specific territory within Malton.

Tyler Whitney0 will not take part in the race itself. He will instead leave early and stay a day or two ahead scouting out safe houses so that Iditaroders will hopefully always have a place to make camp. Announcements of safe houses will be made on this page and updated regularly once the race is underway. Comments and suggestions about the race should be directed to Rob Cath in Tyler's absense. Cath will be leaving with the bulk of the participants and will stay amongst the racers for the duration. Please keep in mind that the safehouses recomended by Tyler are only suggestions, and after they are posted your location will be known to any who care to look. With great risk comes great reward. Striking ahead on your own might be dangerous, but it will allow you to cover more ground in a day.

The final winner of the race will be determined by whoever attacks or heals Tyler Whitney0 first at the finish line (the interior of the SE corner of Caiger Mall). This is so there's a visible time stamp to verify each Iditaroder's arrival time and order. It is strongly advised that if you choose to attack Tyler to mark your completion of the race that you do so with nothing more threatening than an axe.

The winner will recieve the Exclusive right to put "Champion of the Malton Iditarod" or some similar honorific in their profile. Second and Third place will recieve similar honours. All who complete the race may wear their green bandana in perpetuity or some similar Badge of Valor and Speed to be announced at a later date. Any caught fabricating Iditarod honors shall be punished under pain of death. An honor roll including all race participants regardless of their final fate in the Iditarod shall be maintaned on this page indefinitely.

Updates on the Route

There are sporadic zeds along the route although the hospital at 4,28 Peddlesden Village is still secure.

Many small groups of zombies scattered throughout Dunell Hills thinning out around Owsleybank. Iditaroders are advised not to linger in Dunell and to burn straight through to less infested suburbs.

Next checkpoint/confirmed safe house (as of Monday night) is the Edghill Hotel in Nixbank at 6,73.

The third safehouse on the route is the Stockman Walk Police Department in Spicer Hills at 22,95. Join the locals for hot cocoa and bourbon. Not many zeds along the southern edge of the city so the next couple of days are going to be all about speed. A reminder that the checkpoints are by no means requirements. If any racers wish to keep going after reaching one they are encouraged to do so. The safehouses are meant as a convenience so that Iditaroders may focus the their efforts on running the race and not scouting out a place to sleep. Good luck to all Iditaroders.

The fourth safehouse is Ephrem General Hospital in Wyke Hills at 58,93. As always this is just a suggested safehouse and not a requirement to reach before moving on.

The fifth safehouse is the McCullock Building in Miltown at 97,91. Grafitti outside Tikanoff Railway Station on the way said "Don't go any further!" for all the good it's going to do.

The sixth checkpoint is Grist Bank at 93,45 in Starlingtown, but it SHOULD NOT be considered a secure place to sleep. Many scattered zombie mobs in the area and barricaded buildings are scarce.

The seventh checkpoint is The Whitlock Building in Dulston at 92,5. It is important to note that this is not a safe house, merely a navigational reference so that we hit all four corners of Malton. The entire Northeastern corner of the city is heavily infested and should not be considered a safe place to stay overnight. All Iditaroders are encouraged to save up their AP's and sprint through Paynterton, Dunningwood, Pescodside, and Dulston in a single dash. Good luck to all Iditaroders.

The eighth checkpoint is The Acourt Arms in Earletown at 75,3. It's relatively safe as of Monday afternoon and a good place to rest up before pressing on to Greater Boundwood.

The ninth checkpoint is The Every Building in West Boundwood at 34,2. The entire suburb looks relatively clear and should be considered welcome respite after the past few days.

The tenth (navigational) checkpoint is the Buttle Building in Dakerstown at 4,5. BUILDING IS NOT SAFE! Two of the Bobsleens were seen at [6,4] waiting for racers. Building was open with zombies inside. 12/28 20:10 GMT

The eleventh (a safehouse as of tuesday morning) is a junkyard in Roywood at 6,15.

The twelfth checkpoint (and the final one to pass before the finish line) is once again the hospital in Peddlesden Village at 4,28.

The finish line is the Southeast corner of Caiger Mall. All Iditaroders are encouraged to haul ass.

WE'VE REACHED THE END OF THE MALTON IDITAROD! All survivors are encouraged to line up next to the finish line and cheer their favorite runners!

Attempts to sabotage Malton Iditarod

Currently many people with membership in the Council of Lunatics, often with the last name of Bobsleen, are attempting to destroy the Malton Iditarod by killing all of the members. JD Ryerson, Farad'n, Firedogg, Justplainuncool, and Zurgun have all been killed by these Lunatics. If a Bobsleen or other Council of Lunatics members are seen, get out of the way. Mortimer Wiley, Sid Bobsleen, Bubba Ray Bobsleen, and Terry Bobsleen have all been seen to have killed people. If you see one of those, kill them.

Yeah, apparently once you get outside of civilized Malton the threat isn't from the zeds but from the moonshine chugging, frog licking, sheep porking, banjo strumming, sister coveting, mud farming, Jean-Claude van Damme fans. Odds are we're just passing through their turf and there's no organized intent behind it.

Tearful, Booze Soaked, Mid-Race Address from Tyler Whitney0

I'd like to mention how pleased I am at how the Iditarod is shaping up and how proud I am of all the Iditaroders. You are princes among Survivors. You've taken the hits of mouth-breathing PKers and zombie ambushes in the early race and pushed through regardless. Lending aid to each other whenever needed. This is exactly the spirit the Iditarod staff and early entries sought when the race was first taking shape.

For any who want to know, Tyler Whitney0 is drinking a sweet little beer called La Fin Du Monde. It's French for 'The End of the World' and twice as alcoholic as your average beer. As far as post-apocalyptic beverages go it's in the top ten. If anyone has any ideas for the other nine in the top ten list they should say so now. We have an afterparty to plan for...

Other 'Top Ten' Post Apocalypse Malton Liquors, Brews, and Vintiges

"Ottano Nero Del Doppio Di Creak" (Black Creak Double Octane) Widely acknowledged as the "third best" brew in post outbreak malton. This popularity seems to be due to its relatively mild (but somewhat sharp) flavor, and it's VERY high proof for a Lager. Made in Kinch Heights by the Noyce family, a Italian/German brewing clan. The original 'Black Creek Lagger' was a German recipe from the founding mother of the clan's village. The technique for refining it into 'Black Creak Octane' came from the Pater Familias. It was only after the apocalypse that the double distilling process that creates 'Double Octane' was put into use. *50 Proof.*

"Fant?Tequila De Serpents" (Snakes Ghost Tequila) Created by monks of The Temple of Our Martyred Lady, this some what weak Tequila variant has poisonous snakes rather than cactus worms drowned in it. The brew has a reasonable number of supporters in the continuing argument for top place in Maltons liquor market. Many fans of the drink say the venom gives it more "Kick" and "Adds richness" to the flavor. Reports of poisoning are unconfirmed, or at least have been blamed on the alcohol content. *75 Proof.*

"Kilt Lifter" (Scotch Ale) Nice taste, amusing name, and sold in pint bottles. What more could one ask for? (Hmm... "Pretzels and a kilted companion," you say? Okay. I stand corrected.) Don't know about the availibiliy elsewhere, but if you can find it, buy it. (For the conversation potential of the bottle, if nothing else.) Moylan's Brewing Company (Select your speed, then click on "Brewery" and then "Beers" for a pic of the bottle.) *16 Proof.*

"Normal For Norfolk". This Cider is available on an incredibly small scale, brewed only from apples from a very few orchards and available only in person. Like all other Cider made traditionally in the Eastern region this comes from culinary and dessert apples, quite different from the West Country, where cider apples are used. It lacks the astringency and is stronger at 7.5% with more natural sugars in the dessert apples to convert into alcohol, but easier on the head than West Country ciders with their high tannin levels. The Fiery taste of it complements meals, drinking it cold in the summer or hot and mulled in the winter. Really Hardcore people may wish to try for a bottle of the distilled version, Disc Fans will be pleased to know it has been dubbed, 'Scumble'.

See also: Catagory:Malton Liquor Market

List of Runners

All runners should add each other to their contact lists.

  1. Rob Cath made it back to caiger, just barely.
  2. Mat Blake Just managed to sprint the last of the way to the finish line at 11am GMT 30/12, only 1AP left though so I hope someone heard my shout, I'll be back in a few hours to see if I can chase Tyler with my axe for a bit (gave him a playful chop with my axe 50minutes later).
  3. Don Wesson Back in Caiger since a few days.
  4. JD Ryerson Is sitting back at the mall with OxFE drinking and talking about how the race went. Claims "unofficial second" while waiting for an official to validate his claim. (confirmation)
  5. Georges Abitbol Passed 11th checkpoint. Killed again while resting in a safehouse. Reached 12th checkpoint. Has been revived, by Zurgun, what a nice guy. Reached Caiger !
  6. alex carter fineshed the race on 12-30-05 9:42am (3:11pm GMT) wow i started 7th and i came in 13th lucky numbers will head to Nichols Mall
  7. Hasimir Passed the sixth checkpoint, wired to the gills. PKed inside the Heginbothom Arms by Man X, rose from level 20 to level 34 in one fell swoop. Revived by Georges Abitbol, swiped booze from the 8th checkpoint and now finished the race.
  8. Farad'n Corrino PKed at the first checkpoint by Mortimer Wiley. Revived by Segfault (cheers, next round's on me) and finished the race.
  9. Zurgun PK'd by Bubba Ray Bobsleen while resting up for the start of the race. Has now been revived. Reached 1st checkpoint at 4:58 GMT 12/21, 2nd checkpoint 9:26 GMT 12/22, 3rd checkpoint 8:45 GMT 12/23, 4th checkpoint 8:50 GMT 12/23, 5th checkpoint 10:50 GMT 12/24, 6th checkpoint 4:29 GMT 12/26, 7th checkpoint 2:50 GMT 12/27, 8th checkpoint 2:53 GMT 12/27, 9th checkpoint 2:08 GMT 12/28, 10th checkpoint 20:06 GMT 12/28, 11th checkpoint 20:09 GMT 12/28, 12th checkpoint 6:07 GMT 12/29, finish line 19:34 GMT 12/29. 10th place! Not bad starting 30+ hours behind the pack. Does anyone still need a revive? If so, list your location or PM me on the UD forum (Gurug) (Rob, any others)
  10. Ad'lan Finished the Idateriod! have attacked and healed Oxfe at 12:45ish(confirmed), 4th place! let the Drinking continue. I must leave for my home suburb, but I leave you cider in plenty.
  11. firedogg
  12. justplainuncool At the Fifth Checkpoint, going for the sixth as soon as I can get inside again.
  13. KoJak Fujimitszu: Skipped from the first to fifth checkpoint due to a late start. Resting at sixth currently.
  14. segfault: Back in Caiger, with a headache from being recently revivified.
  15. Johnny Yuma Just punched Tyler. Placed 6th at 10:29PM EST on December 28, 2005.
  16. shu2 Reached first checkpoint [4,28] heading south toward Nixbank. Second checkpoint reached, hungover and early in the morning [6,73]. Passed Third Checkpoint (22,95), Passed Fourth Checkpoint (58,93)Will just be taking screenshots of checkpoints from here on out. Passed fifth checkpoint (97,91). Passed sixth checkpoint [93,45]. Went back to revive, rotters in both positions, stand in an empty block from now on if you want a revive, I had to give up and move on. Just arived back at caiger and hit Oxfe, and now claiming unofficial third (confirmed). How about we all just jump out the window and hunt tyler down as zombies for the win???
  17. Cpl Punishment
  18. TheWastrel Made it to the mall, hit Tyler. 5th place!
  19. RedSage PKed by Lorenzo Lamas a few hours before the race started. Wherabouts unknown.
  20. 0xFE finished the race.
  21. Mister T Reached sixth checkpoint, waiting for more AP to move on.
  22. Jake Goodman Completed the race and punched Tyler (in a friendly way) around 0100 UTC, 30 DEC.
  23. seanoddidnt realize we had started :) reached first checkpoint, not far from second, uneventful trip so far. Reached Second checkpoint, reached 3rd checkpoint, reached 4th, reached 5th,reached 6th still uneventful.reached 7th and 8th checkpoints, reached checkpoint 9 on route to 10 (I know its over , but i want to do the full course :) ). Reached remaining checkpoints and made it back to the mall. Race completed.
  24. Queep Back in Caiger Mall. Spoke at ~9:27 EST on Dec 29th. Woo, 8th place!

Malton Iditarod Victory Roll

  1. 0xFE
  2. JD Ryerson
  3. shu2
  4. Ad'Lan
  5. TheWastrel
  6. Johnny Yuma
  7. Don Wesson
  8. Queep
  9. KoJak Fujimitszu
  10. Zurgun
  11. Jake Goodman
  12. Mat Blake
  13. alex carter
  14. Hasimir
  15. Mister T
  16. Georges Abitbol
  17. seanod
  18. Farad'n Corrino
  19. Rob Cath