The Kilt Store/Staff
Our experienced and professional staff are always ready to assist you, whether in the selection of the proper kilt, discrete advice on proper undergarments, or simply helping you stay on the customer side of the survivor/zombie divide. Here is a listing of the professional staff of The Kilt Store who you should feel free to call on for sales and other customer service. If you would like to apply to be a member of our elite team please visit our Staff Room. Our old staff officers were located at Old Premises
Employment Opportunities
Human Resources
Do you have a commitment to excellent customer service, with regular customers coming back time and time again to both hire and buy. While our store often temporarily closes during zombie hordes incursions, our staff prepare for reopening sales by gathering ammunition, injecting fallen comrades and the never ending task of repairing barricades. Our tartans are sourced from the best zombie sweatshops and are of the upmost quality and fashion. Classic and timeless style mixed with the renowned quality of Scottish natural fibres.
"Fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… our Kilt Store"
Kilt Store Owner - Battle of Nicholls Feb 16th 2008
We currently have openings for staff members who are dedicated to the principles of customer service that define The Kilt Store. If you are such a customer-oriented and conscientious aficionado of fine kilts, and agree that you will avoid killing fellow survivors (for they ARE our customers) then you are invited to apply in-person to join the staff of The Kilt Store. Please follow this link to the Nichols Mall Information Center to submit your application to join the elite staff of The Kilt Store.
Staff Pub Crawl late 2009
Current Roster
- Chris Timewell -- Customer service executive.
- Moah Lester -- Customer service executive.
- Melissa Medic -- Kilt Store Staff, (Specialist in alternative fashion)
- javboy -- Kilt Store Staff
- glob -- Kilt Store Trainee
Explanation of staff titles and terms
- Kilt Store Owner - Proud owner and proprietor of The Kilt Store, currently missing in action.
- Customer Services Executive - the management team, usually appointed by the owner or the executive.
- Kilt Store Staff - general employee's may have additional titles
- Kilt Store Trainee - staff in probation
- Loss prevention - our store security team
- Specialist in women's fashion - trained in feminine attire
- Specialist in alternative fashion - trained in non traditional attire
- Jacobite awarded for killing PKers of Kilt Store Staff
- Brave Heart warded for sacrificing your life in the Kilt Store
- Clansman awarded for killing a zombie in the Nichol's Male
- Tartan Diety - special award for Goolina who crossed over from the RRF to the Kilt Store (may be awarded if circumstances apply)
- Kilty - derogatory term used by such sources as zombie groups and necro terrorists
- VIP Member - Kilt store customer who returns for business,or returns damaged stock.
- Sporan Fondler - in store staff term for sexual griefers
- Kilt Lifter - in store staff term for shoplifters
Some zombie, "Kilt Lifters" a constant worry for our loss prevention team.
Missing in Action
We of The Kilt Store tip an Irn-Bru in the memory of those who stood with us and are now unaccounted for in the chaos of Malton. They wore the Tartan well. They are:
- Kilt Store Owner -- Proud owner and proprietor of The Kilt Store.
- Ash Pegg -- Customer service executive.
- Babdah -- Customer service executive.
- DanceDanceRevolution -- Customer service executive.
- girlwithagun -- Customer service executive.
- LadySaiyajin -- Customer service executive.
- Marvin von Mars -- Customer service executive.
- Sannok -- Customer Service executive.
- Snipingkid -- Customer service executive.
- Thurston Mallrat -- Customer service executive.
- Goolina -- -- Kilt Store Staff / Specialist in women's fashion.(Retired)
- Acid Bomb -- Kilt Store Staff
- acehcard -- Kilt Store Staff
- AGentleSoul -- Kilt Store Staff
- Audrey Hepburn -- Kilt Store Staff
- Buttbreath -- Kilt Store Staff
- Cadaver Donovan -- Kilt Store Staff
- Camp K1ll Yourself -- Kilt Store Staff
- Carrie Lone -- Kilt Store Staff
- Ckell -- Kilt Store Staff
- Conner Martel -- Kilt Store Staff
- Dick Mizgala -- Kilt Store Staff
- Doodydoo -- Kilt Store Staff
- door 2 door salesman -- Kilt Store Staff
- Dr Brady -- Kilt Store Staff
- Dr Redder -- Kilt Store Staff
- Dr van Ghoulenhacq -- Kilt Store Staff
- dr34d3d nigh7 7ur713 -- Kilt Store Staff
- Ed Readman -- Kilt Store Staff
- Flambeau -- Kilt Store Staff
- Gus Thomas -- Kilt Store Staff /(Retired)
- II Duce -- Kilt Store Staff
- imoisurok -- Kilt Store Staff
- Isaac Clarke -- Kilt Store Staff
- Jack Planter -- Kilt Store Staff
- Jack Stewert -- Kilt Store Staff
- javboy -- Kilt Store Staff
- Johnny Fukface -- Kilt Store Staff
- John Kelvin -- Kilt Store Staff
- Joshuamcz -- Kilt Store Staff
- Just Bubba -- Kilt Store Staff
- Kaseman -- Kilt Store Staff
- Kothac -- Kilt Store Staff
- KotkaMroku -- Kilt Store Staff
- Kutteroff -- Kilt Store Staff
- Lucius8 -- Kilt Store Staff
- Maleci -- Kilt Store Staff
- Mao Panalo -- Kilt Store Staff
- Marcus Mandrake -- Kilt Store Staff
- Markel -- Kilt Store Staff
- Moggan17 -- Kilt Store Staff
- Naej -- Kilt Store Staff / an original member, sorely missed.
- NekOnOkO -- Kilt Store Staff
- Nicademis -- Kilt Store Staff
- No Eye Square Guy-- Kilt Store Staff
- Oneshotkill3236 -- Kilt Store Staff
- Penthaldarian -- Kilt Store Staff
- prulleman -- Kilt Store Staff
- Poontang6661 -- Kilt Store Staff
- rabbilove -- Kilt Store Staff
- Rocket Bob -- Kilt Store Staff
- Roger Oveur -- Kilt Store Staff
- Ronald Bellcraft -- Kilt Store Staff
- ScoMIS -- Kilt Store Staff
- Shunt McHurtingly -- Kilt Store Staff
- Slopzilla -- Kilt Store Staff
- Titanium Johnson -- Kilt Store Staff
- Toodles McGaha -- Kilt Store Staff
- twizzet -- Kilt Store Staff
- Wasabeee -- Kilt Store Staff / Loss prevention.
- wateringcan2 -- Kilt Store Staff
- Xebulba -- Kilt Store Staff
- ZimonX30 -- Kilt Store Staff
- Zombie Rubber -- Kilt Store Staff / (Retired)
Retirees
The Kilt Store honors our retirees, though they have gone on to pursue other paths in Malton, we hold their memories dear. They are:
Wedding decorations when Goolina was married at the Quartly Library
Fraudulent Marketers
Sadly, there are some in Malton who have fraudulently donned the affiliation of The Kilt Store and are pursuing goals contrary to the Code of the Tartan and the Employee Handbook. Please know that their actions are known to us and they do not represent the Spirit of the Kilt nor our fine establishment. They are:
- ChrisSJF -- Has stopped using or referring to The Kilt Store for his affiliation
- ikillunoob -- Says in his description that he will fraudulently use group affiliations. "KILT STORE FTW... I team with groups, WATCH OUT"
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