|
The Radical Whig
Status
Defending Malton's liberty from the mindless, shambling masses, as well as the zombies.
History
February 17, 2012 - Radical's fiftieth Jacksonian hits the dirt and stays there. You're welcome, Royal Crown.
January 18, 2012 - Radical enters the Burchell Arms, Andrew Jackson's old haunts. Unsurprisingly, trenchie bodies littered the floor afterwards.
January 4, 2012 - Radical liberates his twenty fifth Andrew Jackson supporter from its dreary existence.
December 15, 2011 - Radical Whig joins the best group ever- the Flowers of Decay.
Why I killed you- You see, I used to read history books for pleasure when I was killing zombies (yes, people actually did that back then, stop boggling) back in 2009.
After enough reading, I realized that, compared to the past, Malton is weak. People were stronger back then. Men and women fought, suffered and died for what they believed in. They shed blood for causes they knew may have been hopeless and they persisted despite certain annihilation, for family, for ideas, for God, for country, for science, for whatever.
Thing is, it's an awful contrast with all of you Maltonites, with your mindlessly hoarding ammo for nothing, overbarricading everything, wasting your time chattering in pubs instead of fighting zombies. Pretending nothing is wrong. Then when zombies show up, you run like bitches, leaving the braver people to die instead of saving lives. You revel in uselessness and rejoice in lack of intellect and worth.
So, when I finally realized that the world only whined and bitched and died like animals during the March of the Dead 2 in 2011, I could only see the weakness in you people. I had to fix that. So, I did the logical thing and joined the Flowers of Decay.
History tells us that only the strong will remain. And should you leave the zombie threat to grow while you party all night, then THEY will be the strong. That's what the Flowers of Decay fix. We keep you sharp, and make your pitiful ass strong again, even against your will, so that future zombie uprisings will be met only with strength, as it should be. Malton will be saved, even if it is radicals and murderers who must do the job.
Oh, and when you wake up and finally grow a spinal cord and brain stem, consider joining the Flowers of Decay in defending Malton the only way it can be defended.
Why I chose the name Radical Whig.- There was one other very important thing I discovered in my studies.
We know trenchies as the weakest and most counterproductive of flotsam. These little shits are believed to be inspired by the the "Matrix" film franchise. But I have learned there is a deeper, older cause of their plague.
Andrew Jackson, former president of the United States of America from 1829 to 1837. Most of you know and admire him for fighting the British threat in 1812, preventing the American South's attempts at secession in 1833, and killing lots of people in duels.
As mentioned before, the strong get their way in history. _Winners_ write history. Andrew Jackson was indeed a winner. That is why we know more of his virtues than of his sins. He committed genocide with the Indian Removal acts, caused the Panic of 1837 with boneheaded economic decrees, and unconstitutionally expanded the executive, setting a precedent for abuse of power in future presidencies, blah, blah, blah, he was a bad man.
So, how the fuck does this relate to Malton? Well, it is Jackson's greatest sin that affects us today- this man was the first trenchcoater.
For how else would the trenchcoat been popular, were it not for Old Hickory killing the duelist Charles Dickinson through the use of a trenchcoat? The man who won the Battle for New Orleans through hiding and cowardly shooting from barricades? The slaughter of Native Americans at designated revive points? Every single trenchcoater from Dakerswood to Whittenside prays to Jackson nightly for a Gatling gun, and all who rejoice in mindless flotsammery praise his name without cease! There can be no doubt that his disgusting legacy has greatly weakened Malton. I can practically taste his fucking stench polluting Malton's hearts.
There can only be one solution.
Andrew Jackson must BURN. HIS HEAD WILL BE MINE! DAMN YOU JAAAAAAACKSOOOOOOON!
...ahem. Sorry. But yeah, he's actually a very bad man. And that's why I'll put down Jacksonian trenchie scum in their tracks. This includes you, if you are one such reading this.
Bang.
Battle Honours
|
IT'S A GOOD START
|
| Kill 20 survivors.
|
|
MULTI-KILL
|
| Killed 3 survivors in a row.
|
|
BEST SERVED COLD
|
| Avenge another FOD member's death.
|
|
DASTARDLY ROGUE
|
| Achieved KOS status on the RG.
|
|
GOLDEN GLOVE
|
| Killed a Survivor with their Bare Hands.
|
|
MEAN DRUNK
|
| Killed a Survivor with a beer or wine bottle.
|
|
|
A Rose By Any Other Name
|
| Kill a survivor with a flower in their name or description.
|
|
Déjà vu
|
| Kill the same survivor twice within 24 hours.
|
|
ZODIAC KILLER
|
| Kill targets with creation dates of every zodiac sign.
|
|
|
FOLLOW THE LEADER
|
| Successfully lead a Strike.
|
|
ZIDANE
|
| Killed a Survivor with a Headbutt.
|
|
|
AMMO DUMP
|
| Used 48 straight AP firing pistols or shotguns.
|
|
I'M JUST WARMING UP
|
| Kill 50 survivors.
|
|
|
FLORAL SACRIFICE
|
| Went negative reviving another FOD.
|
|
|
THE DOCTOR IS IN
|
| Revived 10 FOD.
|
|
|
HEAVY LIFTER
|
| Dropped a target to 1HP and gave the kill to another FOD.
|
|
|
GETTING HANDSY
|
| Killed a Survivor with Maul attack.
|
|
|
DOPPLEGANGER
|
| Killed a survivor with a very similar name.
|
Jacksonians liberated: 101
Righteous Comrades Revived: 14
| 
