Late Night TV Crue/Episode Guide/Season3/Episode9

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August 5th, 2008

Did very little today. A three-fer really takes it out of you! I woke up to a few new aeration holes courtesy of the ultimately impotent DariusAPB. Man what a sad excuse for a bounty hunter that guy is. He's like one of those little yip-dogs that you think must be a Rottweiler, then you turn the corner and punt 1000 yards. See ya around MaryiousEDD!




Today's Fury - August 6th, 2008

Another three-fer day! Man! There are a lot of bounty hunters hanging around the SW right now. I ran across Nicholas Risto - a SAINT of all things. This group seems to be pretty good at self-promotion, if nothing else. I don't really know much about them, honestly. So I asked Nicholas:
Turning Saints into Martyrs!


You say: "Do Jewish girls go to hell for killing Saints?"


I doubt it, but you never know. I may have to ask some kind of scholar or something. I worry because if Jesus is magic, he probably doles out some of his extra magic to the guys he picks to be his Saints. Not any of the good stuff mind you, like the ability to commute bad gas, or the ability to differentiate between real boobs, fake boobs and miracle bras - but I can see how these things might have their uses in a religious context. In any case, I do know that Saints consider it kinda cool when they also get to be martyrs - so I figured I could help with that. A martyred Saint is kind of like an uber-Saint right? Like the other Saints have to wipe their asses or something because they're just not quite Saintly enough? Just one calorie Saintly?


Anyway, I killed Nicky boy, then well, there were other people in the room so I killed them too. This killing multiple people at a time is a two-edged sword. I satisfy my blood lust, but it sure cuts down on how much jibber-jabber I can deliver. So the scales of comedy versus the volume of blood spilled... it's a dilemma I tells ya. I'll probably see-saw back and forth. In my newer, more contemplative healing phase I've had less to say anyway. I know you probably appreciate the pearls of hilarity that come from my sensual lips more than body counts, but hey- I'm doing this for ME first. You just shower me with adoration and sitcom offers, OK?


I may be a little scarce over the next few days - we'll see. If so, I'll see you around after the weekend! Kiss kiss!