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The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:  
The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:  
*'''Michael Phelps''' - ''We solute you.''
*'''eBay''' - Who doesn't want a piece of you?
 
*'''Brute''' - How else will you learn?
*'''MEMS''' - We need more people to give a FAK


{|border="1"
{|border="1"
|-
|-
|[[#News at a Glance|News at a Glance]]
|[[#The Last Several Months at a Glance|News at a Glance]]
|-
|[[#Letter from the Editor|Letter from the Editor]]
|-
|-
|[[#The Marshal's Minutes|Choppers McGee gets reflective]]
|[[#Interview with Al Bundy|An Interview with Al Bundy]]
|-
|-
|[[#The Godfather Part II|Sonny humbly voices his opinion]]
|[[#Hardcore Rockabilly-Gate|The Hardcore Rockabilly Controversy]]
|-
|-
|[[#Quis Custodiet: The Watchman's Journal|The Watchman's final chapter!]]
|[[#Fun Corner|Fun Corner]]
|}
|}


== News at a Glance ==
== The Last Several Months at a Glance ==
*'''Mobius Returns to the Dulston Alliance''' - Hugs!
*'''DORIS Declares War on [[AZS]]''' - DEM to send aid to allies.
*'''Mall Tour Continues''' - Can no one stop them?
*'''DORIS Ends War on [[AZS]]''' - That kind of sucked.
*'''Entire SE gets Promoted''' - Because we're awesome.
*'''[[PKA]] Disbands''' - Analysts blame Blanemcc.
*'''Happy Valentine's Day!''' - Unless you're bitter and alone.
*'''Labine50 Retires from DEM''' - Doctor Tom quoted, "See, now I ''know'' this is joke."
*'''Nicholas Risto Retires from Saints with 50,193 Bounty Points''' - Ballads are written on his grand exploits.
*'''John Cannonfodder steps down from Fire Chief''' - It was nice working with you.
*'''[http://z14.invisionfree.com/Brainstock/index.php?showuser=2140 BriAnna Blackmoor] Replaces Kristi as DEM Chairwoman''' - How was this not in the last issue?
*'''McCrunchky to take over as Fire Chief''' - Congratulations, McCrunchky!
*'''The Watchman Leaves the Malton Observer''' - The editor's free time cries out in anguish.
*'''Urban Dead Dead?''' - Several plays unable to connect.
 
*'''Urban Dead Back Up''' - Take that, real life.
==The Marshal's Minutes==
*'''Fort Perryn To Be Retaken''' - Brainstock member quoted, "Godspeed you poor fools."
[Author's note: I no longer an instructor at Darby, and am now out in the field. Therefore, I doubt I will write much about Darby anymore (which gives me more to write about anyway). I also have changed my article name.]
*'''Fort Perryn Retaken''' - Brainstock member quoted, "Survivors seriously took back Perryn? For more than a minute?"
 
*'''Fort Perryn Falls''' - Brainstock member quoted, "I never thought YOU would die."
I have been fighting the good fight against the zeds now for nearly 21 months. Quite a while in the Urban Dead world, or so it seems. Now, don't worry, I'm not announcing my retirement or anything of the like. It's just that sometimes I wonder why I keep doing it. Why do I keep coming back for more day after day after day? Is it for duty? Is it for the people I've come to know? I think it's a lot of things.
*'''Team Zombie Hardcore Makes Triumphant Return''' - Not this again...
*'''The Blackmore Building retaken!''' - Hard Knock Life and Axes High take back landmark.
*'''The Blackmore Building falls!''' - Joint operation fails to keep building secured.
*'''Tom Chardon Steps Down''' - GFJ to take over as Chief of Forensics.
*'''First Annual Summer Solstice Fire Drill and Annual Barbecue''' - The first of what is expected to be an annual event a success.
*'''DORIS Declares War on [[TZH]]''' - To avenge death of Michael Jackson.
*'''DORIS Forgets About War on [[TZH]]''' - Or something. I'm not exactly sure.
*'''Hardcore Rockabilly Banned''' - ...wait, what?
*'''Sonny Banned''' - Due to apparent involvement in spying.
*'''Hardcore Rockabilly Un-Banned''' - Miscommunication blamed for incident.
*'''DEM to Discuss Reforms''' - Cool sigbars for all!
*'''McCrunchky steps down from Fire Chief''' - Good luck out there!
*'''Choppers McGee to take over as Fire Chief''' - Make sure you save enough time to right articles!
*'''Several DEM Groups to hold Fake Elections''' - Voter turnout expected to be low.
*'''The Malton Observer Publishes New Issue''' - No, seriously.
*'''Brainstock Moves''' - [http://s1.zetaboards.com/brainstock/index/ Update those URLs!]
*'''Sonny Not Banned''' - "Unban Sonny" protests expected to continue anyway.


During my time in the MFD, I've been through quite a bit. Been through all the learning and guidance in the academy, through experience in the trenches right after graduation (in Ridleybank, no less), back to the academy as an Assistant and then Lead Instructor, and then back out to the field once again where I am now. I think my enjoyment comes out of helping those that are new to Malton and new to the MFD (and the DEM as a whole).
== Letter from the Editor ==
...aaaaaaand we're back! Not exactly back with a bang, I know. With retirements galore and all kinds of other stuff going on, we're a bit... *Ahem* Short-staffed. Still though, it will take more than some staffing problems to silence this paper!


I regretfully resigned as Lead Instructor at Darby only a couple of months ago because I was needed in the field. However, my role really has not changed a lot, only that I don't have to explain policy to green cadets anymore and don't have to grade exams. However, it's interesting in that I am now in the position of some of my past firefighters in MFD command, and can kind of understand what role they played when I was fresh out of the academy until I become an Assistant Instructor.
Please welcome to the Malton Observer team our latest reporter, Lt. Mesa! He did an interview with Al Bundy, which you can obviously read below. (One of the articles that trickled in between last February and today.)


I realize that a lot of this may seem like me rambling out a jumbled mess of an article, but I am very interested in how things change over time in my life. Someday I will no longer be a part of the DEM and no longer part of the battle going on in Malton, and will simply look back to now. I don't necessarily look forward to that time in the future, but I can accept that life goes on no matter what I want it to do.
On the retirement side, we say goodbye to Watchman, Ridleysoul, the Chardons, Ferrum Leo, and William Told. We all wish them the best IRL or wherever they ended up. Glad to see you back, too, -'''Labine50'''


Until next time,
== Interview with Al Bundy ==
'''Malton Observer: What's your character name?'''


--'''Choppers McGee'''
''Al Bundy: Al Bundy.''


==The Godfather Part II==
'''MO: Time in the UD?'''
We recently sat down with Sonny once again to talk about his feud with Garviel Loken and the latest PKer event to be led by DORIS. This is the first time Sonny Corleone has been featured in a sequel.


'''MO: In a recent interview with the Observer, Garviel Loken stated that all members of the Imperium hate and despise you. He went on to say that every new member is taught their version of the events surrounding the IMD coalition and their invasion of Gibsonton. What is your response to this indoctrination of recruits against you and all of your alts?'''
''AB: A few days''


''Sonny: First off their policy on killing all my characters is alt abuse. So they admit to cheating. What Canderous does is different than what Sonny does and is different than what Anthony does. They don't see the difference, they see the player behind it. This is also bad form on their part. The only time it is socially acceptable to hunt all alts of someone is if they zerg. Imperium is either not smart enough to realize this or they're dirty alt abusers. Them hating me doesn't mean much to me. I've been hated for doing less. If anything its funny how much they hate me because I've turned their relatively unknown group into the largest target out there for no reason other than because I can.''
'''MO: Your history here; some information of your character.'''


'''MO: Shortly after the interview went up, you tricked Garviel to publicly apologize for every minor offense committed against you so that the two of you might have a truce - a ruse that set Garviel up for an elaborate burn. Do you honestly have any problem with the Imperium, or do you just troll Loken because he's an easy target?'''
''AB: My name is Al Bundy, I'm a shoe salesman''


''Sonny: Before I trolled and griefed the Imperium I know absolutely nothing about them. I didn't know much about Garviel except that he was a noob. I'd probably still give him crap for being a noob but because of the whole IMD event I give particular attention to him and the Imperium. And that whole ruse was planned. Garviel being so easy to make fun of doesn't help him. The guy tries to seriously argue that Norse mythology is real and how he sacrifices things to the "gods". Seriously...''
'''MO: What about "No Ma'am"?'''


'''MO: Moving away from the Imperium, you're currently mobilizing DORIS to attack the Anti-Zombie Squad and Dawn Patrol. Any particular reason?'''
''AB: No Ma'am is group to stop the advancemen of women.''


''Sonny: I had a beef with Eric Bessette, leader of AZS, a long while ago because of some noob thing he did that I no longer remember but then responded with some serious business trenchie response. Before I could organize anything against them I took a break from the game. Then a few days ago Revenant contacted me telling me that he's fighting the Dawn Patrol. I never heard of them but he told me they're allied with the AZS. That was enough for me to get back into the game and troll them. It's going to be harder to get people to fight the AZS because they're not epic fail roleplayers like the Imperium but are your typical trenchie noobs that everyone encounters. Maybe the fact that they support zergers and text rapists (Dawn Patrol) will help people sign up.''
'''MO: You are the leader of that group?'''


'''MO: So Dawn Patrol was known for harboring text rapists and zergers? Can you verify this?'''
''AB: I am the leader.''


''Sonny: AnimeSucks has a full report on Dawn Patrol members, including their leader zerging. Another member is also in the DEM, they have yet to do anything about it.* When Amber spoke to the on their forums they said some of the most vulgar things anyone has every said in this game. I can't really repeat some of the stuff they've said but the AZS Must Die topic on brainstock has a lot of links to their cheating and vulgarity.''
'''MO: Why you think woman situation in UD is bad for us [the men]?'''


'''MO: You didn't wait to dedicate this DORIS event to a dead celebrity. Any chance you'll relate it to Michael Phelps' career?'''
''AB: Women should not have a role in Malton, they will turn us into man-servants. Already you see men bowing down to them because they attempt to control everything they see''


''Sonny: Funny story about the Michael Phelps thing, that picture was taken when he was partying at the University of South Carolina. So all of us here are talking about it even though we knew it was going on when he was here several months ago. But yeah, this event, like IMD, is not a DORIS holiday event. It's just a PKer event that DORIS will be involved in. When someone dies we will create an event to retake a suburb. Right now this is just to kill a group.''
'''MO: What you think about men playing a woman role?'''


'''MO: You have a beef with Raharu. Would you mind explaining what happened?'''
''AB: Men should never pretend to be women, that is shameful''


''Sonny: Raharu? My beef with her is simple. I don't believe text raping is bad at all. It's an annoyance that can easily be ignored. If it happens to you a lot by the same person then its sexual harassment. The way she goes on about text rapists is absurd. By making such a big deal out of this and comparing it to real rape you cheapen the severity of real rape. Rape is a horrible, horrible thing. But text on the internet is not the same thing. Even saying it is close to it insults the real victims of the crime. What's worse is that usually it isn't even roleplaying rape, its someone saying "F you you F'in dog. I'll beat the F'in crap out of you and make you cry." I couldn't believe it that trash talk is what they cry about. But my whole beef is that comparing cursing to real rape is like invoking Godwin's Law. The more you compare stupid things to Nazis the less of an impact the word Nazis has. Text rape is not rape and should not be considered even remotely similar. I don't condone it and I think its stupid and pointless but I do not for a second think text rape is as severe or as horrifying as a real rape is.''
'''MO: Things you need to begin your "work"?'''


'''MO: You've led a lot of different groups - survivors,PKers, and zombies - throughout your time in Malton. Any advice for people starting up new groups?'''
''AB: I need more men and a list of females to begin my work.''


''Sonny: My advice? Listen to me. The biggest problem I see is that when offered advice, new leaders will get insulted and talk about how their 2 weeks in the game is more than my 4 years with this game. I've seen groups rise and fall. I've seen players go from exalted to disgraced. A group must have a theme and originality. That means don't be a kickass group of ex-special forces trying to kill all teh [sic] zombies. Also as leader you shouldn't try to make everything about you. Don't allow people to suck up to you because it just makes people resent you. You're not special because you created the group. I treat everyone in DORIS the same, like crap. I then get treated like crap too. However they all respect my ability to lead. But yeah, what I see a lot are members trying to butter up their leaders and outsiders look down on that. I won't name names but lets just say there's leaders of 404 and the RRF who get nothing but praise from their members but all outsiders think they're jokes and can't lead for squat. So the next time you're thinking of leading a survivor group or a zombie group just make sure you're not like them. One more thing, if your members are ever accused of something like cheating or other bad form activities don't defend them. If they're guilty, throw them to the dogs. Sure you may like them but it'll tarnish your record and ruin your trustworthiness. No one likes cheaters. A certain leader of a zombie group called the RRF, not naming names, refused to throw a certain female who led this subgroup called the Gore Corps to the dogs. Turned out she did cheat and continues to zerg, specifically against them. The leader now looks like a joke to the community for defending her and now has to fight her himself. Etc. etc.''
'''MO: What can do the womens to stop that?'''


--'''William Told'''
''AB: Women could stop me by banning me from here, [Brainstock] which is cowardly.''


<nowiki>*</nowiki>Editor's note: Actions ''were'' taken in this instance. The member in question left the DEM until his alt issues were worked out. The concept of zerging was difficult to explain to him due to language barriers, but he no longer has any alt problems.
'''MO: You love "Married With Children," no?'''


==Quis Custodiet: The Watchman's Journal==
''AB: I love that show.''
I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually enjoying taking it easy at this point. My real-life has been getting more demanding at times, so I haven't been as zealously pursuing PKers as before. For now, you can say I'm just going on a "sight-seeing" trip around Malton, but of course, when PKers show their faces in front of me, I'm still going to kill them.


I returned to the area where I aided in reconstruction efforts and it's not looking so good once again. I moved to some other suburbs afterwards but they weren't in any better shape. I did find PKers there, though, so that was all right. One I found hiding in a office building. The other, I found hiding in a ruined dark building. Now, which one do you think I chose to kill?
--'''Lt. Mesa'''


Being the determined lawman I am, or a "hard-ass" as a PKer might say, I killed them both. The first one was a relatively easy kill, even though I ended up wasting some of my ammo, and if I thought I wasted too much ammo taking down the first one, then the second one made me waste much more ammo, but in the end, I still got my man.
== Hardcore Rockabilly-Gate ==
Very few people are left on Brainstock don't know about Hardcore Rockabilly's ban in early July. I doubt any single event has caused quite such a political hail storm for the Brainstock Team. The entire reason behind the ban was the apparent breach of "Rule 10", the anti-spying rule. Allegedly, Hardcore was reading aloud a DEM Council discussion to several people in Skype; some of whom weren't in the DEM. As it was later revealed, there were in fact no members of the Skype conversation that were not in the DEM at the time. Many are inclined to point the blame for the incident at the person who reported the alleged spying, but I don't think he is to blame. As he has since said, it was a very spur of the moment decision.


The day I claimed this PKer, I had already been spending some time patrolling the suburb, so I didn't have full AP when I took them down. I hadn't been claiming too many bounties recently, and seeing that this one was wounded, I decided that it shouldn't be too hard to kill them, so I moved in the for the kill. I almost managed to kill them, but then my AP ran out.
The actual validity of the ban aside, it has raised questions of the reliability of the Brainstock Team. Hardcore remained banned as long as he did due to most of the admin staff being off on vacation during the summer. Personally, I can't blame them for taking advantage of the often too short season. Other issues such as the ban before it was adequately researched remain untouched on, (As is the case with the related banning of Sonny) however it can be argued that it doesn't really matter since everyone is starting off with clean slate on the new board.


When this happened, I got worried. From past experience, I knew that by the time my AP recharged, this PKer would either run away, or they'd try to kill me. I waited, and later on in the day, I went to check on my target, and surely enough they did move, but all they did was leave the building, and they got attacked by a zombie, too. So all it took was one shot to kill them.
All in all, this doesn't seem to be a case of neglect or rule breaking, but rather a simple mistake made from a lack of communication. Nobody is really at fault here, and if they were, it wouldn't matter with the new board and all previous bans repealed. Perhaps we should all just be a bit more careful in the future.


I stayed safe for a little while longer, but then, I found myself in a situation very similar to that of my previous kill. I was tired, and I decided I was going to rest in an empty dark building Unfortunately, a zombie managed to get in and seriously injure me, rendering me an easy kill for a passing PKer. Karma or just bad luck? Well, my readers, you can decide for yourselves.
--'''Labine50'''


--'''Watchman'''
== Fun Corner ==
Zombie Pickup Lines:
*What's a decomposing, maggot infested girl like you doing in a mausoleum like this?
*I'm a walking stiff! I don't need Viagra!
*I would give my right arm for a night with you. Here, take it!
*Is that a wooden stake, or are you just happy to see me?
*I love you for your brain.


--'''Tonyay163'''


[[Category:The Malton Observer]]
[[Category:The Malton Observer]]

Revision as of 01:59, 24 August 2009

Malton Observer: February 28th, 2009

The Malton Observer would like to thank its sponsors:

  • eBay - Who doesn't want a piece of you?
  • Brute - How else will you learn?
  • MEMS - We need more people to give a FAK
News at a Glance
Letter from the Editor
An Interview with Al Bundy
The Hardcore Rockabilly Controversy
Fun Corner

The Last Several Months at a Glance

  • DORIS Declares War on AZS - DEM to send aid to allies.
  • DORIS Ends War on AZS - That kind of sucked.
  • PKA Disbands - Analysts blame Blanemcc.
  • Labine50 Retires from DEM - Doctor Tom quoted, "See, now I know this is joke."
  • John Cannonfodder steps down from Fire Chief - It was nice working with you.
  • McCrunchky to take over as Fire Chief - Congratulations, McCrunchky!
  • Urban Dead Dead? - Several plays unable to connect.
  • Urban Dead Back Up - Take that, real life.
  • Fort Perryn To Be Retaken - Brainstock member quoted, "Godspeed you poor fools."
  • Fort Perryn Retaken - Brainstock member quoted, "Survivors seriously took back Perryn? For more than a minute?"
  • Fort Perryn Falls - Brainstock member quoted, "I never thought YOU would die."
  • Team Zombie Hardcore Makes Triumphant Return - Not this again...
  • The Blackmore Building retaken! - Hard Knock Life and Axes High take back landmark.
  • The Blackmore Building falls! - Joint operation fails to keep building secured.
  • Tom Chardon Steps Down - GFJ to take over as Chief of Forensics.
  • First Annual Summer Solstice Fire Drill and Annual Barbecue - The first of what is expected to be an annual event a success.
  • DORIS Declares War on TZH - To avenge death of Michael Jackson.
  • DORIS Forgets About War on TZH - Or something. I'm not exactly sure.
  • Hardcore Rockabilly Banned - ...wait, what?
  • Sonny Banned - Due to apparent involvement in spying.
  • Hardcore Rockabilly Un-Banned - Miscommunication blamed for incident.
  • DEM to Discuss Reforms - Cool sigbars for all!
  • McCrunchky steps down from Fire Chief - Good luck out there!
  • Choppers McGee to take over as Fire Chief - Make sure you save enough time to right articles!
  • Several DEM Groups to hold Fake Elections - Voter turnout expected to be low.
  • The Malton Observer Publishes New Issue - No, seriously.
  • Brainstock Moves - Update those URLs!
  • Sonny Not Banned - "Unban Sonny" protests expected to continue anyway.

Letter from the Editor

...aaaaaaand we're back! Not exactly back with a bang, I know. With retirements galore and all kinds of other stuff going on, we're a bit... *Ahem* Short-staffed. Still though, it will take more than some staffing problems to silence this paper!

Please welcome to the Malton Observer team our latest reporter, Lt. Mesa! He did an interview with Al Bundy, which you can obviously read below. (One of the articles that trickled in between last February and today.)

On the retirement side, we say goodbye to Watchman, Ridleysoul, the Chardons, Ferrum Leo, and William Told. We all wish them the best IRL or wherever they ended up. Glad to see you back, too, -Labine50

Interview with Al Bundy

Malton Observer: What's your character name?

Al Bundy: Al Bundy.

MO: Time in the UD?

AB: A few days

MO: Your history here; some information of your character.

AB: My name is Al Bundy, I'm a shoe salesman

MO: What about "No Ma'am"?

AB: No Ma'am is group to stop the advancemen of women.

MO: You are the leader of that group?

AB: I am the leader.

MO: Why you think woman situation in UD is bad for us [the men]?

AB: Women should not have a role in Malton, they will turn us into man-servants. Already you see men bowing down to them because they attempt to control everything they see

MO: What you think about men playing a woman role?

AB: Men should never pretend to be women, that is shameful

MO: Things you need to begin your "work"?

AB: I need more men and a list of females to begin my work.

MO: What can do the womens to stop that?

AB: Women could stop me by banning me from here, [Brainstock] which is cowardly.

MO: You love "Married With Children," no?

AB: I love that show.

--Lt. Mesa

Hardcore Rockabilly-Gate

Very few people are left on Brainstock don't know about Hardcore Rockabilly's ban in early July. I doubt any single event has caused quite such a political hail storm for the Brainstock Team. The entire reason behind the ban was the apparent breach of "Rule 10", the anti-spying rule. Allegedly, Hardcore was reading aloud a DEM Council discussion to several people in Skype; some of whom weren't in the DEM. As it was later revealed, there were in fact no members of the Skype conversation that were not in the DEM at the time. Many are inclined to point the blame for the incident at the person who reported the alleged spying, but I don't think he is to blame. As he has since said, it was a very spur of the moment decision.

The actual validity of the ban aside, it has raised questions of the reliability of the Brainstock Team. Hardcore remained banned as long as he did due to most of the admin staff being off on vacation during the summer. Personally, I can't blame them for taking advantage of the often too short season. Other issues such as the ban before it was adequately researched remain untouched on, (As is the case with the related banning of Sonny) however it can be argued that it doesn't really matter since everyone is starting off with clean slate on the new board.

All in all, this doesn't seem to be a case of neglect or rule breaking, but rather a simple mistake made from a lack of communication. Nobody is really at fault here, and if they were, it wouldn't matter with the new board and all previous bans repealed. Perhaps we should all just be a bit more careful in the future.

--Labine50

Fun Corner

Zombie Pickup Lines:

  • What's a decomposing, maggot infested girl like you doing in a mausoleum like this?
  • I'm a walking stiff! I don't need Viagra!
  • I would give my right arm for a night with you. Here, take it!
  • Is that a wooden stake, or are you just happy to see me?
  • I love you for your brain.

--Tonyay163

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