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Abbreviation: The Mighty Coalition of 5punk Gamers
Group Numbers: 37
Leadership: The Malton Good Beer Guide
Goals: Survival, tea-bagging Zombies, getting drunk, defending Caiger Mall
Recruitment Policy: Join up at 5punk and chat to any of us there, we're very friendly! Must love horses best of all the animals.
Contact: http://www.5punk.co.uk

The group 5punk currently resides in a Public House in the city of Malton. We originated from 5punk and one way or another it was our misfortune to end up in this zombie infested nightmare. We intend to survive using skills gained from our previous lifetime playing computer games.

It is rumoured that some of us are Zombies, if this is true we will use all our capabilities to return them to their human state, unless they don't want to, then we'll just keep them locked up in the stable and poke them with sticks

We are currently making a home in The Waugh Arms in the southern side of Chudleyton.

5punk members were in attendance throughout the 2nd Seige of Caiger Mall (see Chronicle of the Second Siege of Caiger Mall for more info) who knows what part we played in the victory?, our contribution cannot be quantified by counting the dead bodies, only by counting the empty beer bottles and cans littered throughout the Mall and on the route home from there to The Waugh Arms.

We can be contacted by semaphore on 26.79

To see what we are all about, please visit our forum

PUB CRAWL!!! Check out The Malton Good Beer Guide for our next stop and more info

When joining 5punk please add the group name to your profile in game, To edit your profile click your name under the map when logged in and add '5punk' as the group (without the quote marks!) This lists us on the STATISTICS page



We are quite simply, fucking awesome.


Some people think that 5punk are, quite simply, fucking awesome. They're right.


Brobbins (mrbobbins) - Level 41 Demigod - Neigh? I will survive!!

Pianoman (mrbobbins) - Level 41 Numpty - You go to stroke the horse and miss.

Dog Pants - Level 40 Military - Donkey teabagger

Rydis - Level 1 Scientist



Anhamgrimmar - Level 1 (Ginger) Zombie

ProfHawking - Level 35 Civilian - Grazed & confused

spoodie Level 38 Scientist - Necrotech (also has lots of guns)

Cashy Level 40 Civilian - Had a bad batch of sugarlumps

RomanTotale - Level 41 RO-BO - Jockey

RTotale - Level 37 Civilian RO-BO - (Look at my pretty pony!)

Cavey - Level 15 scout

randomgazz Hunting down those who make children smell like stables.

Woo Elephant Yeah Level 37 Stable Lad with a horse to groom.

Fabyak/Fabyak1 Level 1 Scout/Fireman

Teh Bomber zombie, dead type equine

sirfil (FatherJack) - A fire-fighter and professional 3-day eventer

FatherJackZ A zombie, unlike the other FatherJack, who merely *looks* dead

Sir Die Aloty - Level 1 Private

Sir Ty Die - Level 1 Private

Atalac - Level 2 groomer

Nazzor - Level 1 Private

Duke of Ted - Level 22 Medic

Troubled Joe - Deadite

MR James - Resurrected writer of Pippa Funnell fan-fic

Stapleballs - Too retarded to add his own horse :D

the REAL clammy - never ride again and...

WebClam - too dumb to live. Call the farm vet, this one's died.

LordGrimmie - Drinking out of used horse troughs- Lv 41 Cop

Liberache - Mrrah.. Neigh? Hrozzy! Lv 13 (Grimmie)

Tandino - Level 25 Soldier who, after careful training and meditation is an effing pony machine. Despite being covered in horse doo-doo and constantly leathered, he is a competent groom.

Tandombie - Level 1 Zambah "Harmanz gangbang bananarama"

KamikazeStoat - Level 1 Fireman

Jinxxy - Level something tombola.

Vowlesy - Level 1 :(

wyrdfish - Level 25 fireman/ninja. Likes pina coladas and getting caught in the stable with the farm hand.

The Womble of Death - Level 1 Cop :)

The Sandwich - Level 1 fireman

Strawberry Dragon - Level 1 differently mortal pony

TezzRexx™ - Level 39 ginger fez wearing Zombie horse.

Timmy Mallet - Level 32 Fireman and plastic pony basher.

Trect - Level 1 Necro thingy :P

Mysterlee - Level 1 Civilian Cop

Boy Lateralus - Level 1 Medic

Dahrklord - Mrh?

Enemies of 5punk

Mitchell Hundred - Dirty PKer killed Brobbins in Caiger Mall, KILL KILL KILL THIS SCUM!

Filthy Jenkins - PKed Dog Pants 28/02/06 in 5punk's spiritual home, the Waugh Arms. Rewengay was achieved later that evening in the Acott arms where the scum had holed up.

Hammerhead Joe - as above.

bRave - An old foe but needs to be killed none-the-less, killed me outside the Waugh twice after I was revivved (twice). No reason other than that!, weeks later I was in the Latrobe Building and he broke through with a Zombie taskforce, only got 1 hit in before he scampered off again. Anyway, check his profile and judge for yourself if he deserves to be killed!. Brobbins

Morton Salt - Killed Prof inside the Waugh Arms

Shinobi X - Killed Tandino inside the Waugh Arms

deathonastick - Not killed a 5punker as far as I'm aware, but he's masquerading as one of us and he probably fondles mules.

girthezombie - as above

Madsoothsayer - as above

Mo Brains - as above

Norflung Jaw - as above

Stranger Among You - as above

Macho Nachos - PKed Profhawking in caiger

Albert Gazo - PKed Stapleballs in caiger

Sir Tain De'ath Fucker kills 5punker apperantly, got Sev twice before his fireaxe went firmly up this dudes ass

Kill and Teabag on sight! Please add these donkey rapers to your contacts so their zombified remains may be recognised and dealt with accordingly.

Group Activity

Group Created: 22/11/05

Eat Uwe Boll

Some point after that: Public House chosen for 5punk base of operations (Boozing and teabagging zombies)

Later still... : Zombies have fled in fear from around the area of our Operations HQ (Pub), possible new locations currently under investigation

Christmas time 2005: Half the group are eaten by zombies after getting howling drunk on Christmas Eve. Barrah Graazmaz Zambahz! Har Har Har!

Back to the Waugh Arms it is then lads!

10% off at the Caiger Mall? To the shops!

February 06: The Mall Sale (seige) has begun, shop and neigh my friends!

End of March 06: Pub crawl! The zombies surrounding Caiger have disbanded. In celebration a tour has been planned of all the pubs in Malton. That's the plan anyway - reality will probably involve successfully getting to three pubs before being arrested by the local police force for donkey molesting. See The Malton Good Beer Guide

May 06: Several people have been adding 5punk or 5Punks as their group and PKing in an attempt to cause hostilities between us and other groups. While successful at first, we and the other groups involved are now wise to this and will be working together to eliminate these troublemakers.

May 06: As the 5punk tour moves on from Judgewood we're handed a copy of the local newspaper, and find ourselves making the headlines: http://www.freewebs.com/judgewood/thenewsinbrief.htm

June 06: 26.79 5punk FM - coming in your ears! After all, we are all (disc) jockeys.

June 06: Some 5punkers have decided to take a break from the pub crawl, and were disappointed at the numbers of zombies avaliable for teabagging near the Waugh. To amuse themselves the group has made a move to clear the Fenwyk Plaza Police Dept in Lamport Hills. It is hoped that once the building is secure the last resting place of the CAEK will be found.

July 06: After getting rather drunk in the waugh one night, several 5punkers felt the need for food. Alas, no kebabs could be found. The 5punkers had a vist from a bottle of spirits, which enlightend them to the value of braaaaains as a post pub snack. Now most of 5punk is shambling around in the streets, looking for dinner.

November 06: After receiving a substantial eating and beating in the fallout from the historic Fall of Caiger Mall, our zombie counterparts consulted the randometer and decided to move on to a neigbouring suburb, Peddlesden Village. We are currently in zombie form and making a home for ourselves in The Giblin Arms. Anyone who fancies a beer and a bit of Queen on the Jukebox (though all we can find so far is The Best of Enya and Mike Oldfield's Moonlight Shadow (156, 16)) come on down, I'll buy you a beer if you're nice and fluffy.

December 06: After a rather successful outing as a zombie horde (many men dead, many brains eaten), we have decided to resume human form (well, humanish) and retake our beloved Waugh Arms for the good of Mankind. Actually, bugger Mankind - we're all just gasping for a pint.

February 07: We are now attempting to help retake Fort Reedy in Peppardville/Pitneybank, mainly for shits and giggles. Upon arrival we have been disappointed to find much over-barricading and no stables to rest our weary horses. Someone also mentioned there was no beer, but if the worst comes to the worst we'll just drink the fuel from the generators.

April 07: Everybody's dead Dave.

June 07: 3 bodies sleeping in the waugh, the rest of 5punk currently AWOL

January 08: Many 5punk members awaken from hibernation and instinctively shuffle back towards The Waugh Arms to see how she has coped in our absence.