Diaper Auto Repair
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Diaper Auto Repair |
| Diaper Auto Repair
Wray Heights [63, 73]
Basic Info:
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Amusing Location |
| This location is on the list of Amusing Locations in Malton |
Diaper Auto Repair
Description
A well preserved example of an automated late 20th-century diaper repair shop. The former employees were heavily involved in recreationally huffing both spraypaint and various fossil fuels, and also had strong connections to a ring of portable generator smugglers. On slow days, in order to pass the time between (and immediately following) deliveries of thousands upon thousands of filthy diapers, they would get drunk and have blindfolded crowbar fights. When the city was evacuated, they were too hopped up on paint and gasoline to respond to the sirens, and as such their semi-pickled brains were summarily devoured by the slow-moving initial hordes - leaving behind plenty of the above.
History
Back before human babies became tasty zombie hors d'oeurves (with their soft skulls for easy snacking!), and certainly back before slack zombie bowels allowed their bodily wastes simply to sluice through to the streets and ransacked buildings beneath their feet, humans were in the habit of wrapping their young in swaddling clothes. This was to prevent them from making a mess every time they voided themselves, and lasted until they could keep their waste inside long enough to find an acceptable crap receptacle. These specialized pants, known as "diapers", were both costly and - as was the aesthetic taste of the humans - unattractive when littered throughout the streets and waterways. In 1983, Geronimo Von Skunkenspray founded Skunkenspray's Partially Automated Infant-Clothes Reconditioning and Government-Acceptable Minimal Laundering Service. After many years of adequate customer service and passable reliability, Geronimo was bought out by nappy servicing giant DiaperCorp, and the shop was refitted with fully automated repair facilities. It was also renamed to its current moniker.
Barricade Policy
As this facility stands as an important monument to a foregone time where babies ran rampant (and, indeed, there were enough females around to engage in baby-making activities, both for reproductive and recreational purposes), it should be left barricade-free and in good repair. Tours occur regularly; please check the brochure for dates and times. The door should be kept closed, and the admission of polite zombies is encouraged. A knock and "Mrh?" is considered to be good etiquette for those wishing a tour conducted in zombese.
Current Status
It's still right there, on the map, isn't it? It is. It's right there.
--Group SFRU is using a HQ--
