Insane Asylum

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Malton Insane Asylum
Abbreviation: MIA
Group Numbers: 2,308
Leadership: Doctor AbSent
Goals: Comedy
Recruitment Policy: Follow the smelly tick toad
Contact: [1]

Welcome To The Ward.

"...The terms genius and insane have become interchangeable..."

The Malton Mental Health Care Facility is idyllically located on scenic and poetically storm-lashed Absenterra Island. The Insane Asylum is the perfect place for unwanted relatives and friends who are (as we experts say) 'not quite right in the head'. Our patients enjoy the most luxurious and modern facilities (straw on cell floors changed twice each and every month).

Welcome to the "Malton Insane Asylum", or the MIA for short.

Feel free to admit yourself or anyone else for that matter. 
We offer free transportation, room and board.

It's a nut house, do you really need any further information?

We Are The Patients

"...Insanity is just an alternative way of thought..."

The Insane Asylum, now offers Group Therapy. Every so often, whenever the mood strikes, they all pretend to be in another group just for grins and giggles despite the chagrin of the group being mocked.

How Can I Become A Patient Of The IA?

"...Crazy people do not realize they are crazy, they believe everyone else to be..."

Becoming a member is simple enough, there are a few requirements though.

  • You must be insane
  • You must submit proof you are a insane
  • You must fit one of the additional criteria;
  • You must be paranoid
  • You must use crayons inappropriately
  • You must not have read all of this
  • You must pick your nose a lot
  • You must chew used gum found under tables
  • You must be exhibiting erratic behavior
  • You must like exposing yourself in public
Let your darkside take control of your bright side and 
come on over to the Grayside for you are now not in your right mind.


  1. I seized control of this group from Mr. Lecktor who must have overdosed on his meds or something.
  2. I really am crazy and therefore not responsible for any of my own actions.
  3. I am usually drunk, therefore not legally liable for any damages incurred in part due to my actions.
  4. Free Willy!
  5. Yes, I'm not crazy still.