Journal:Emily Briar

(OOC Pretty picture//format//title page to come! Note! Journal may update slowly during Fall 2007 semester!)

Sunday, June 10th, 2007

I found an old journal a couple of days ago, it was discarded in the Railway station where i've been spending most of my time. I figure I might as well start taking note of my life, as it may not last very much longer. A girl can only be so lucky I can't imagine escaping an infection forever. The anti virus that NecroTech was working on is effective at destroying type I infection in individuals who have not yet decayed, and it even fulfills their original goals of "cellular neogenesis" but you have to be found and vaccinated quickly, otherwise you've got a lot more to worry about than a few scars. The virus cannot sustain cellular respiration, so your body is slowly decaying, if your brain rots, no needle in the world is going to bring you back. Since the outbreak I've go-- *the writing stops here and starts again a few lines down*

I had to help with the 'cades ... the presence of infected citizens is sporadic, but they can still strike at any time, I don't think I've gotten a good nights sleep in months. Before I was interrupted I was going to muse about a scar I've got on my chest, I was attacked by one of the infected, and even though I was saved and vaccinated... the NT serum never regenerated that cut. If the serum is no longer regenerating wounds I better be more careful, either we're generating a tolerance to the drug, or the virus is mutating. Neither theory bodes well for the future.

~'~,Emily Briar`~,_♥^,

Tuesday, June 12th, 2007

4:21 am

I spent last night in the Trout building. Couldn't sleep. Don't think Mr. Gorin sleeps at all. Mr. Grax Gorin has an interesting cache of museum pieces, and a wealth of stories to tell, most of them are from before the quarantine and I'm amazed at how high spirited he is. Mr. Gorin cooked dinner for me and the few survivors who showed up in the Trout building... it was just canned food, but somehow it came out better than anything I've yet managed. I'm going to stay a few more hours until it gets lighter outside, then I'm going home --back to the rail station.

~Em

8:05 am

Before I left the Gorin residence the rest of the survivors and I went to the top floor of his tower and looked out over the city to make sure the coast was clear for us to leave. Theres a fire about five blocks away in Kinch Heights. I can't help but wonder how much history has been lost because of this damned plague: priceless artifacts looted from museums, historical buildings completely ransacked... court documents... official records... The only thing thats left is the quarantine. The quarantine will probably go on well after we're all dead, they can't risk the infection escaping. I can't think of that though... I've been too depressed lately. I'm hardly eating, and its starting to affect my ability to survive; I almost didn't make the jump back across the parking garage to the Railway station.

~'~,Emily Briar`~,_♥^,

Wednesday, June 13th, 2007

*tears stain this page and the ink is smeared and illegible in parts*

I went into Kinch He...ghts today. It's been so long since I've been home. I remember before the outbreak when I used to commute to ...opleaf through Shaw park past the Lovering Fountians. I went home toda... I just couldn't get it out of my head since yesterday. Everything is were I'd left it, even...the ... is a mess... I just can't bring myself to go in there. I had a a...lk with Mom , Dad and El too. I really miss t... ay Mom use... to wait for us w...enever she knew we were coming ho...e -- She'd alw..s be right there as if ... were the most important thing in the world to her. I miss the way my F...ther's eyes used to light up when he'd be working on some new invention, some new gadget or... or a new tool. But I really miss El...t the most. I cried for hours I guess... I'm crying now I guess...

I snapped out of it, heart pounding when someone came out of the garden, an infected. He looked like he might have been a friend of El's. By now I was so upset, so angry... that I... att...k a... stop unt... h... bleeding, but I had a syringe, so what the f...ck do I care? I'm sure my bones will heal by tomorrow: God Bless Necrotech.

...

I went past the Nevill building on my way home and gunned down two more of the infe...an elderly woman and a curly haired child... There was a mob of about twenty others and I had to climb a ...get away. At least I see their faces now, instead of Mom and Dad...

but the memories of my family will return--

--just like the woman and child will return

--just unlike the remains of my family.

and t...uess I'll never rest in peace though: I've already been infected at least once. Sometimes I wis...tha....

*the bottom of this page is completely torn out*

Friday, June 15th, 2007

Well... I'm sorry about ripping that last page out, now that I've gained composure. It really didn't have much written in it that I'd prefer to read later. I'm amazed at how angry I get sometimes, call it bereavement psychosis If you'd like. I spent a good portion of yesterday and the day before moping about the Gass Plaza rail station. Ezekiel and the others tried to cheer me up. Kia is an outright godsend. I'm sad that my family is gone... but I guess a lot of other people have it worse off... at least I haven't completely lost it yet. I'm on my way to Topleaf today... The Demons convinced me to go work for a while, take my mind off of things. I'm leaving my diary in my locker at the rail station. I'll write again when I get back.

~'~,Emily Briar`~,_♥^,

Monday, June 18th, 2007

I had a good weekend working (never thought I'd say that). I took a box of antiviral serum as payment for my work too... I'll bring it back with me to the Railway station. Right now I'm at... what used to be an auto repair shop. Koryo is here, apparently the Demons also run a makeshift Cellular Phone tower. I had a chance to look at the amplifiers they're using... and from what little I can remember from biosensors and circuitry... it seems pretty complicated. I'll stay here tonight...theres a few people who need some medical attention, and I've no need to rush back to the Rail station.

~'~,Emily Briar`~,_♥^,

Tuesday, June 19th, 2007

*This entry has a strange yellow note glued to the bottom of the page, written in pencil*

Today, I almost killed a man. He calls himself Amadalastain... hes a murderer and he has been breaking in and out of Gass Rail station, killing us Demons in the night. I can't believe how in a time like this some people are killing fellow survivors... It just doesn't make much sense, I mean we're all in this together right? We should endure, but only as long as we work together. I've only seen him once before... his eyes... there's something just not right with him. There's been talk of a war too, a turf war. I'm not sure of the details, but Kia has been on edge lately... something has her really spooked, which is odd for her and unsettling for the rest of us: she's normally very calm and collected. Needless to say we're all a bit on edge I suppose. This morning when I woke up someone had broken in, it was Amadalastain; Kia had chased him off... he left in the direction of Pole Mall. She told us to scout for him, he had cut himself on our barricade or caught a parting shot from Seraphin and probably wouldn't make it very far. I grabbed my first aid kit, thinking I would bandage the deranged fool... nobody deserves to die... not to the infected at least.

...never to the infected

...

(*There is a break in the lines, the next portion is scrawled by a shaky hand, written in pencil* on a sheet of yellow notepaper. You realize that this portion must have been written just after the incident.*)

I followed the trail of blood to pole mall and when I found him he was in an abandoned "Walsh's Sporting Goods" store standing over the body of this middle aged man... he was muttering something about a grand prize or a "challenge round," or something.

...he turned arround and I panicked... I pulled my gun and I panicked.

Didn't say anything, I just closed my eyes and squeezed the trigger. My ears were ringing and the gun seemed miles away in my hands...

When I opened my eyes... I must have shot him in the throat but he still staggered towards me. I remember I was still pulling the trigger... it was making this hollow clicking sound. I just froze... until something roared from behind me, over my shoulder. Luckily someone had heard the gunshots. They fired what must have been the biggest pistol I've ever seen... only twice and he was dead... a sick smile spread across his face as he slumped to the ground.

--I'm still shaking...

...fuck I'm still shaking...

I'm going to go find something strong to drink... wash the blood off of my face... I think I'm crying.

~'~,Emily ^♥

Friday, June 22nd, 2007

I've got a massive headache, so I'll probably be lazing around the station today. After I found some clothes to change into I spent most of yesterday in Younghusband Arms, I'm amazed its still running in a... nearly normal fashion. I say nearly normal because currency is obviously worthless now, but theres a fairly high demand for various odds and ends (mostly medical supplies like pain killers and some experimental NT drugs...) and most "barkeeps" will accept medical medical supplies as payment for the various drinks they serve. I don't know if they're from some warehouse or if they're smuggled in....if they're smuggling I have no idea how they're getting stuff past the wall...probably corrupt military.

I'm fairly certain however that there is another 'generally accepted method of payment' that goes on in most bars in malton... I'll give you a rundown:

A girl walks into a bar, she looks distraught and isn't wearing much of anything (who knows, maybe she removed it because it was covered in blood and freaking her the fuck out?)... she's probably had... lets say a... bottle of wine before she even came in... she runs into the bathroom ...actually showers off (no lie, Younghusband has a bunkroom and a full bath... most patrons stay overnight anyway so its kind of like a hostel) and returns a few moments later, sits down at a corner table and asks nobody in particular for a drink...

...Of course what happens next is that any male within hearing distance immediately orders her a drink of something and tries to play "the nice guy" card long enough to get her really smashed, he probably hopes that once she is drunk enough they will fuck. She is sullen and bitter and smart as hell and not about to fall for that inane collegiate trick, but she of course accepts the free drink.

...Problem is if you're really distraught eventually the guy gets bored of you soaking his sweater, refusing to talk and leaves.

...The good news is that there's always more where that came from.

... and there was always at least one anonymous shoulder to shamelessly cry into...

Needless to say I remained comfortably numb the entire day, and well into the evening. I don't remember when Ezekiel showed up, he was watching me from a corner of the bar, making sure I wouldn't get hurt I suppose

-- he was drinking a red ale and reading a book , he must have been sent by Kia to make sure I didn't get into trouble. Unbelievable how much they care about me. They don't even know me.

When I noticed he had been watching I immediately felt embarrassed. I usually don't break down I didn't used to be such a wreck. I kind of stumbled over and sat across the table from him... the way I would have sat in the kitchen back home if I had just been reprimanded by my parents: hunched over the table, head hanging, focusing on some insignificant detail of the woodwork and waiting for the inevitable lecture.

Page Two

After I sat down, Ezekiel laughed and said something to the extent of "are you alright?" or "you look like hell." I'm not entirely sure which. I'm fairly certain I was beetroot red by then, I had this overwhelming feeling like I had been "caught" sulking by someone who's probably lived through worse than I have.... I was embarrassed to have fallen apart: those of us who have lived this long... we're supposed to be tough, yet there I was crying like a child with scuffed knees.

He continued reading and I poured myself another drink... I was shocked to hear him mutter "you paying for that?" I looked up and saw he was smiling. I pulled the box of syringes from my lab coat, the box of shells I had found at the mall and my notebook from my bag, and placed them on the table. I told him "I picked up some supplies, for the Demons." He laughed and told me he was joking about paying for the drink. He did ask me if I wanted to talk about what happened, I think he already knew but I told him anyway. We talked for a while, about our homes, our families, our lives before the outbreak...

...he moved to Malton with his father a long time ago, but he left and traveled until he met his wife. He married her and moved back the same year I graduated from St. Aidan's so I'd say he's been here at least 12 years. He worked for Sagittarius for a long time... he probably had a bigger hand in the state of things than he possibly knows: Sagittarius was NecroTech's e... I can't even bring myself to write it....

Well, he certainly picked the wrong time to move back to Malton...

He also told me about his travels in the Balkans, we talked about his father, who lives in an apartment off Conybear Road in Gatecombeton... and I genuinely started to feel better; I told him about my family: about Mom, my Father, and El. I didn't tell him they were all dead, or how they died; I just talked about how life used to be.

I told him about the summer just after we had graduated from St. Aidan's, El and I were out in Crawley park, by the fountian...

...that night beneath the stars I told El I wanted to be a surgeon...

that I had been accepted to Johns Hopkins

...that I was moving to Baltimore... and then El proposed...

Mom and Dad were shocked but still supportive...

they had never been comfortable with me and El... with our relationship.

I think I had probably started crying then, but I'm not sure. I woke up this morning back at Gass Plaza.... I don't know if I walked or Ezekiel carried me. My journal and my gun were by my bed when I woke up.

I'm going to go talk to Kia... maybe we can send a search party to Gatcombeton and see if Ezekiel's father is still alive.... bring him back here...

~'~,Emily Briar`~,_♥^, 01:30, 25 June 2007 (BST)

Wednesday, June 27th, 2007

Big news: I've found Arcana! After my last entry I sought out the woman called Kiablade who is the leader of the Greyside Demons, a local gang I've formed an alliance of convenience with in suburb of West Grayside.

I originally met the Demons when I was forced to hole up in their safehouse a couple of months ago; I lost track of time in Topleaf and couldn't make the trek back to St. Aidans in Kinch before nightfall, the sun was setting and I had managed to attract the interests of a few ferals in the neighborhood... I ran into a man named Koryo in St. Timothy's near Gass Plaza, but the infected followed us and we retreated back to his gang's secret headquarters, which is where I first met this "Kiablade."

I was searched my first night in the station, by Miss Kiablade, to ensure that I was not concealing weapons. My surgical kit was confiscated and locked overnight, as was my virus sampling kit and my personal stock of NT Syringes. Needless to say we met on bad terms, but I now understand that her initial distrust was due to the fact that they had just been forced from their home in East Grayside by a rival gang superior in number. Aside from confiscating my personal belongings for the night, my first stay was quite satisfactory, and upon leaving the next morning all of my personal effects were returned.

Needless to say a safehouse a mere four blocks east of Topleaf is absolutely critical for my continued studies, and they now allow me to lock my own belongings up for the night. But I digress... I was speaking to Kiablade to see if we could make a trip out to Gatecombeton to find Ezekiel's father... I know how terrible it is to be separated from family... Kia was sorting some paper correspondence (she’s in contact with a bunch of other gangs in the suburb) when the perimeter alarms went off, and someone began banging at the barricades... We armed up and ran to the roof: it was someone Kiablade knew... they shouted up that their barricades had fallen and that they were in bad shape. Kia wasted no time in ordering Jinjinkas and I over to Wray Heights to assist...

...I guess Gatcombeton will have to wait.

When I arrived at the Braham Boulevard School, the barricades were up, and I immediately set to work suturing the wounds and curing infection from the members of the “Iamnot” gang. I was running some tests on blood samples when I noticed an anomaly in the “Lazarus” protean ribosome levels of one of my patients who had been attacked...

*the following is carefully printed, you have the strangest feeling that it is intended for someone else to read*...

ARC204 positive-“Carrier 08-M” Location: field, Wray Heights Suburb

Diagnosis

Under microscopic evaluation and molecular-characteristic field analysis I am 83% certain that I have found a carrier of the Arcana metavirus.

Status of Patient ^Carrier

Carrier is alert and healthy despite infection likely received through lacerations on his lower right leg. Additionally the carrier seems to have no neural interference from the metavirus at this time, this is likely due to the extremely recent infection that he has suffered. I anticipate initial symptoms to occur in a matter of days, neurological side effects should not be evident for at least one week.

Status of ARC204 metavirus

The sample was found in a tissue sample of the patient’s tibialis anterior. The infection is recent, and I have yet to verify if his bone marrow is now synthesizing Arcana. Virus seems to be replicating just under simulated Fibonacci ratios, this is likely due to interference from the immune system of the carrier. I've administered the immunosuppressants cyclophosphamide and chlorambucil to reduce T-cell count in the carrier and encourage uninhibited viral growth. Carrier believes injections were NT2113-L1 antivirus.

Procedural

I will keep an eye on the patient for any signs of ARC204 behavior, but I have elected not to inform the patient or the others of the infection, nor will I administer NT 204-A antiviral medications... I need to find out more about this strain: to kill it now for the sake of one patient would be a gross oversight… I should also track down the feral who gave him Arcana. If it is true, and Arcana is synthesizing outside of a laboratory environment we may have… an interesting problem on our hands in the near future. I'll relay this to you through a powered NT building in the suburb. To avoid the suspicion of the others I'll try to sneak to the Silwood building at first light tomorrow. Upload the ARC database to my scanner, and contact me through the usual methods.

--NT0599811

Sunday, July 1, 2007

(OOC the best way to deal with these documents is to assume your character somehow read them before they were sent... Otherwise they don't quite make sense I suppose...)

Status of Carrier

Carrier is slowly healing, experencing some side effects from the cyclophosphamide. I've stopped administering both immunosuppressants because ARC204 count has reached stable levels. Enclosed along with this report are (2) Arcana rich blod samples. The Carrier's blood type is AB(-), no signs of any other infectious disease. Carrier is exhibiting signs of fatigue and slight feaver. I will deliver my next report in two days. Carrier's bone marrow is synthesizing Arcana, neuro-systemic failure will occur in under a week if the virus continues to spread unchecked.

Status of Metavirus

ARC204 is reproducng rapidly. Some neurological interference is already occurring: last night the carrier was talking in his sleep, his moans coincided with the infected outside the building. Tomorrow I will move him to the Silwood facility, I believe our lab observations on teh Arcana strain may be more accurate than we originaly anticipated, at Silwood I'll be able to run the EEG and REM tests on the carrier.

Procedural

Tomorrow we will move the patient carrier to the Silwood facility. We probably cannot take the free running lanes due to extensive swelling in the carrier's injured leg, we will travel by foot, I have contacted a NT branch security team who should be arriving shortly. They will make our departure look like an attack. I've already drugged the other survivors in the building, they should sleep soundly for the next couple of hours. We will arrive at Silwood tomorrow afternoon.

--NT0599811

Mark,

Are you certain we will be able to revive the patient after the Arcana virus arrests brain functions? I don't know if I can stand by... normal procedure... I'm beginning to think our work here is... unethical.

I'm really having a hard time down here... since mom and dad died i've been a little unbalanced... perhaps you could send some Killian's and Diazepam with the next medical drop? 25mg.

I'd really appreciate it.

...have you had the chance to talk to Bill and Cynthia yet?

they told me NT isn't going to let us back out until the situation is stabilized. If Arcana is here, that may be a while, send them my love.

P.S. Mark, please proofread my formal report before you foreword it to central, I was a little drunk when I wrote it.

Thanks,

~Emily

Friday, July 6th, 2007

(*There is a plain white envelope from a place called "The Anchor" addressed simply to NT0599811, it smells strongly of chlorine and contains a note on sickly, pale yellow paper*)

Em,

We really shouldn't attach documents with our names to these files, if something were to slip into the wrong hands we'd be in quite the media shit-storm. Please be careful next time. If you want to send me a note with your next report, send it to my NT ID.

So far there is no evidence proving that the Arcana virus necessarily leads to the condition the laymen are calling "brain rot." I assure you that even if this specimen sustains extensive brain damage we have the means and methods to revive him. As far as ethics? You remember surely as I do Lence's Medicine and Society 4201? What we're doing here has real potential to move humanity to the next level of it's evolutionary state. The fact that we have had only one minor complication in ten decades of viral research...

We're on the threshold, Briar. Don't turn back now just because you've seen death, soon enough we will have conquered our old foe. Think of Madame Curie, of Melton, and of Francis Collins. Have strength, we will fix the problems inherent in LA2113, and if ARC204 is as advanced as you claim, we should finish the Prometheus project within our lifetimes.

But work aside... how have you been holding up? You wrote to me earlier about some scarring that was not healing despite your injections of NT2113, are you still in pain? Have the scars receded? And has your sleepwalking stopped?

I did get a chance to talk to Cynthia, she's worried of course about your injury, and she sends her regards. Bill is out of town, but he hadn't heard anything about there being replacements. In addition to your scheduled re-supply I've included a bottle of the 25mg Diazepam you wanted (are these for your patients?)... you should be careful, Valium is addictive, and I hear detox is rough. But you're a Doctor now, so I wont lecture you on medicine (I assume you have good enough reason for destroying your liver and developing a nasty addiction to prescription medication). I refuse to send you any more of that piss-beer you've grown so fond of however, so instead of wasting space on the next med drop I've also included a half of Yquem, from my cellar. I figure you ought to be congratulated for finding Arcana; none of our other field agents have reported any other cases, so keep up the good work.

your friend and brother,

Mark Pace.

Wednesday, July 11th, 2007

Mark,

You know as well as I that Mark is no more your name than Emily is mine... and there is no such thing as NecroTech... and there was no shooter: JFK's head just did that... Furthermore if anyone else is reading this letter, I should probably tell you to kindly refrain from opening or reading my formal reports, as they are highly classified and I may get into a lot of trouble with the media if they leak... Please take into account that I'm up to my tits in blood thirsty cannibals, and I don't have time to be on TV. (Happy now, Mark? And you'll have noticed I sent my report out with Monday's mail as you requested.)

Yeah yeah... for the greater good of Humanity... I don't really want to talk about it.

The scars remain, the pain has subsided, no change in the sleepwalking or the nightmares, but I no longer hallucinate so I'm probably no longer Lazarus-positive.

The Valium was for me (the pills you shipped are suppositories by the way, asshole. I suppose that was your idea of a joke? You know I wanted the standard tablets. ). I've been taking Diazepam to steady my hand and to help me sleep. They also keep me from dreaming. It's hard to tell if I'm becoming addicted because I wasn't able to sleep before I started taking them, so I don't know if my insomnia when I'm off of them is out of chemical dependence or apprehension of the night. I'm trying very hard to keep my head here... I would not wish the things I've seen on my worst enemies. Please get me home soon.

I'm afraid I'm going to be out of contact for a couple of weeks... Central put me on the Arcana task force here in West Gray, so I'll be in the Underground at Topleaf until at least the 21st. I'll be going into quarantine two days from now, send me a letter if they do a wipe: bring me back up to speed and remind me not to forget to check my old room at St. Aidan's when I get out.

~Emily

Saturday, July 28th, 2007

(*there is a photocopied memo in a NecroTech stationary envelope stapled to this page*) Mark, They’re doing the memory wipe tomorrow. I’m done with that movie you wanted to watch: Eternal Sunshine... Good idea suggesting that one before a wipe… kind of makes it beautiful I guess. You can pick up the video from my office, you know where.

Sincerely, ~'~,Emily Briar`~,_♥^, 22:14, 19 December 2007 (UTC)