RRF/Malton Herald & Sun/Text/Text0607right
- Note: This opinion piece reflects the opinion of our Executive Editor and may not be representative of the horde.
The strike of '07 has been all the rage on the message boards recently. Civilized discourse has fallen to the wayside as various factions have taken to flaming one another, massaging their own egos and getting little that is constructive done.
I must admit I completely understand why Feral Undead is leading this strike. The only way that zombies can accomplish anything is with a sick amount of coordination. While the Shacknews horde is still a recent memory, the complete lack of success that a lone feral zombie can achieve on his own has made the game miserable for most zombie players. In turn, numbers of zombies have suffered.
UrbanDead is supposed to be a zombie apocalypse, but it's not much of an apocalypse in the majority of suburbs in Malton. Harmanz sit behind securely barricaded buildings, immune to all but the most coordinated of zombie attacks. This is not the way it's supposed to be. Anyone who has seen a good zombie movie knows that the survivors should be the ones who are desperately working together in a coordinated fashion against the random and terrifying attacks of zombies.
However, I do not feel that a strike is the answer at all. While the game is flawed, it always will be. All we humble zombies can do is have fun with what we're given. The RRF has gone on excursion in Southern Malton, the Mall Tour has returned and is ripping apart the malls of Northwestern Malton. Sure, we can only impact localized areas at this point, but all that means is that we should impact those localized areas.
So in the name of Barhah! I encourage all zombies to make their way to South Blythville or Yagoton to join in the only hopes the zombie side of the action has right now: roving hordes smashing entire suburbs at a time.
By Don Mohagany
Special to the Herald & Sun
In the name of several Norse Gods, I curse you, RRF!
When my compatriots and I decided to crash in the Blackmore Building a few months ago, we realized that it would take an effort greater than any one group to set up shop in the RRF's neighborhood. That's why there were ten different survivor groups occupying Blackmore. (It's science, look it up: Battle of Blackmore.)
But apparently the RRF didn't appreciate our 10-1 advantage! No! They had to passively allow other Zombie groups and PKers to enter the suburb and dared to let them strike at our purely symbolic stronghold! Since when does "Barhah" include zeds and survivors outside the RRF!?!
Anyway, I was doing a count of my fellow survivors around Blackmore the other day, and what did I find? Over a thousand. Watch out for the guns. So you can have your Shearnews, Ferel Undead and Red Rum (I've always preferred a bottle of Roundy's Premium Scotch myself), my allies will just hole ourselves up in some mall, waiting for you to ransack that as well.
You may have ultimately defeated me and my compatriots at Blackmore. But I promise you that me and my news team will assemble and be defeated at a new location in the not-too-distant future.
Anyway, I've got more important things to take care of. Like recruiting more groups to our cause while I hang out in suburbs not named Ridleybank. Excuse me.
Hey, Aqualung!
- Mr. Mohagany is a composite of... oh, who the hell I'm I kidding, we're making fun of Ron.
