Shacknews

	Historical Group
	This historical group is no longer active. However, its wiki page is preserved to reflect the group's significance in Urban Dead history.

Shacknews

Abbreviation:	Shack
Group Numbers:	Disbanded
Leadership:	The Thread Mind
Goals:	DNF, Brains...
Recruitment Policy:	Inactive
Contact:

The Shacknews Zombie Horde is a group of like-minded brain-eaters who originally came to know each other through the website Shacknews. They enjoy video and computer gaming, ploughing the dirtbox, and brains. They are a transient zombie horde, with their beginnings around the Darnell Building in Wray Heights. Since then, they roam far and wide through Malton, searching for lamps, sand and even limes. Their primary objective is the acquisition of what is known to the general public as Dark Neutronic Feynmanium (DNF). If this cannot be found, they will settle for pre-order forms and beta keys.

Shacknews zombies and their fun-loving friends ransacked Caiger Mall a.k.a. Barhah Mall, but did not find DNF. In a DNF-deprived rampage, the Shack then tore through Yagoton, eating Bale Mall and then attacked Shearbank, ranshacking Stickling Mall after a two week siege. Yet, no DNF was found. The final battle was fought when Shacknews and friends ripped through Giddings Mall in Pitneybank like a tornado through a trailer park. In the ranshacked Giddings Mall, finally, DNF was found!

We have defeated every worthy foe in the game. Future generations will curse Comrade Maarten when they hear our name. Mothers will tell misbehaving children that Shacknews is in their closet waiting to ransack their room when they fall asleep. We have eaten many brains and clawed many faces, but we have left everyone's ears so that every shriek of every child at seeing their hideousness will be theirs to cherish -- every babe that weeps at their approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in their perfect ears.

Luckily for them, although Shacknews was the unstoppable force that steamrolled every supposedly immovable object in the game, certain shortsighted QA budget cuts were made at a critical stage. Key future-proofing tests were not run, and as a result it was not discovered until far too late that Shacknews is not Y2K7 compliant.

Thanks for all the brains. Goodbye.

http://dnffound.ytmnd.com/

Zombie Special Forces

The Zombie Special Forces make up the largest and most powerful contingent of the Shacknews Zombie Horde. Like Zombie Ninjas, they attack without warning, hit hard and fast, and stun you with the stench of their rotting flesh. They'll crawl through sewers or throw members of the group through second floor windows; they will do what ever it takes to get past the barricades and ransack the building.

Shacknews Day (T)Raiders

This subgroup of the Shacknews Zombie Horde is active during the day speculating for the best deals on the Brain Market. They'll invest all their AP for the chance of a large return in XP. Additionally, they are bringing their award winning, five step investment program to all the Harmanz of Malton, and personally demonstrating it to them. So far, everyone has been knocked dead with the program's success.

Unique Traits

Sometimes while shuffling along, the Horde can be heard chanting; brave survivors with tape recorders have captured the singing and made it available to the remaining general public. It has been surmised that this is the Horde Anthem.

History

December 22th, 2006 - There are currently 100 standing zeds inside The Brain Museum. Thanks, Shacknews, for the free buffet.
December 19-20th, 2006 - Shacknews zombies have been spotted shuffling towards The Brain Museum in Rhodenbank, planning to retire en masse inside that building.
December 18th, 2006 - It's all over. Eight (8) days after Shacknews began their attack on Giddings Mall and the surrounding areas, the northeast corner of the mall was ransacked by the Horde's own Solstice 'Shack([1]) (Screenshot: [2]). Less than 15 minutes later he ranshacked the NW corner too (Screenshot:[3]) The Shacknews Horde and its allies have destroyed the last of the Old Malls: Giddings Mall has been converted to a buffet, and all zombies are welcome! BARHAH!

Update: DNF has been located in the Northwest corner of Giddings Mall. Screenshot: [4] The Shackhorde now makes for parts unknown with its newly-acquired DNF. --New Coldness 01:56, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

December 14th, 2006 - The gauntlet is thrown. Shacknews and her allies challenge anyone to punch us in the face. You cannot stop us. You cannot even contain us. Come to Giddings Mall in Pitneybank for your last chance to kick us in our collective crotch.
December 12th, 2006 - The attack on Pitneybank has begun. Over 70 harmanz killed in buildings near the Mall by a medium size "ShackAttack". Meanwhile, both the NE corner of the Mall and the Morrish Building suffered double digit break-ins today. Zombies, let the party begin!
December 11th, 2006 - Advance elements of the Shackhorde began searching for DNF in Giddings Mall. Reports look favorable, and the rest of the horde has been called to join in the search.
December 9th, 2006 - In an amazing display of prestidigitation, physical prowess, and supercalifragilisticexpialidociousness, popular zombie actor Lord Warlock successfully floccinaucinihilipilificated Stickling Mall by ransacking it this morning in just under 32.7 seconds, causing several dozen harmanz to immediately succumb to a highly aggressive and hyperlethal form of pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Not only does this set a new World Record in the Destruction category of the Undead Olympics, it also marks the second time His Lordship has ransacked a major mall. Harmanz on hand to witness the event were bullettooth'tony, bullettoothtony18, lerix123, lerix123123, AdamLee, and AnnaJLee, among others.

UPDATE -- It's all over: Stickling Mall has officially been ranshacked.

Grrrraaggghhhh!!!

December 8th, 2006 - Prime-time pundits have been speculating on whether the zombie horde currently assaulting Stickling Mall has spread itself too thin. The answer is a resounding: lol. As evidence, I present to you this illustration drawn by fledgeling zombie Gary the Llama which depicts the scene in Shearbank.
December 7th, 2006 - The Whippey Building has been demolished a mere 96 hours behind schedule. Chief Rheingold, the head of Shearbank's Civil Engineering Corps, personally oversaw the ransacking of the structure. Due to the smog generated during the deconstruction process, Shearbank's mayor has declared the suburb a "No-Breathing Zone". Humans inside Stickling Mall will have their respiratory systems removed in order to ensure compliance.
December 2nd, 2006 - So what exactly is "classy"? Zombies have positioned rotters at revive points and humans are generating zerg characters on a daily basis (greetings to the lookout). Who will win the metagaming war as human revive points clog and the Shacknews Horde shows no sign of losing interest? Will the barracading bandits and forum spies compromise Shacknews's plan to completely dominate Malton? Will Ron Burgundy kick the zed habit once and for all?
December 1st, 2006 - The recent uproar over a well-known news anchor's evening broadcast has the populace up in arms. Last night's Channel Four news ended with an unusual twist when the ever-classy Ron Burgundy decided to bid farewell to his viewers in an unprecedented manner. "Go F*** Yourself, Shearbank" is on the lips of every man, woman, and child this afternoon. In response to this shocking display of indiscretion, Shearbank's acting mayor Frank Vitchard has ordered the Whippey Building, which houses the power generators for Channel Four's news operations, destroyed. Traffic will be rerouted south of Stickling Mall for the next 48 hours while the structure is dismantled.
November 30th, 2006 - Ticket sales for the movie Feral Fury: My Life as a Ransacker are expected to be through the roof once it is released. Rumor has it that the production is the illegitimate love-child of popular zombie actor Lord Warlock and any one of several human ladies of the night. Wedding plans are in the works; the couple hopes to recite their vows admist the rubble of Stickling Mall. Internet user tiptickler69 had this to say about their matrimonial intentions:

lol @ wedding in stickling, eaten by zombies in 2 weeks

November 27th, 2006 - It's time to separate the casual players from the pros. The horde has begun its assault on Shearbank, fully intent on dropping a zed-bomb on Stickling Mall and taking down the largest coordinated human group in Malton. This time, it's for real: active barricadebots, healbots, headshotbots, and zergbots (greetings to Bishop A and Bishop A2) versus the unwashed mass of decaying flesh. Early attacks have been rebuffed thanks to counterspies. It's metagaming versus metagaming. Caiger was a joke. The call of glory beckons.
November 26th, 2006 - The Shacknews Horde would like to thank all the harmanz who take the time to revivify down and out zombies so that they may purchase harman skills before unceremoniously launching themselves from the seventh story of the nearest building. Without your valiant efforts, they would not have Body Building, Flak Jackets, and Steven King, who is well-known in television, had quite a bit of work experience, and recently passed away in the obscure suburb of Gulsonside. Truly an American icon.
November 21st, 2006 - There is a great disturbance in the Force. In response to allegations that human brains kidnap babies and cause cancer, an angry mob of ferals aided in the ranshacking of Bale Mall early this afternoon. Claims about the existence of DNF-powered Weapons of Mass Destruction within the mall remain unsubstantiated; however, recent intelligence indicates that there may be a correlation between the hue of DNF, which typically glows bright green, and suburbs of the same color.
November 20th, 2006 - The Shacknews horde invaded Bale Mall. The Southeast corner was breached after DNF posters were spotted on the barricades. Upon entering the mall and failing to find anyone to take their preorders the zombies proceeded to eat over 70 brains.

Mrh?

November 15th, 2006 - Dozens of Shacknews zombies were spotted shambling toward Yagoton, groaning something almost sounded like a complaint about chewing gum.
November 14th, 2006 - Caiger Mall: The Burning Crusade has finally been released. Several hundred harmanz in the areas surrounding Chudleyton have admitted to paying gold farmers to powerlevel their characters to undead status. Barhah Interactive is currently investigating the accounts of 5,000+ players suspected of using brainhax. Meanwhile, in what appears to be a server first, the Shacknews Horde has successfully 40-manned Becktown up to "that guy who uses cheap syringe attacks".
November 12th, 2006 - Chudleyton has been emptied of all human life and razed to the ground. No DNF was located; however, zombie generals channeled the spirit of Comrade Maarten to divine new possible locations of this elusive product. The zombies were heard to be moaning the words "Zharzh Brazzhard" while shambling away. Residents of Malton would be wise to avoid their path of destruction.
November 10th, 2006 - The Southwest corner of Caiger Mall has been ransacked by the Horde. Indeed, it's as if there is some kind of pattern to the attacks. The remaining survivors would be wise to notice this.
- South-East corner has been ransacked "You smash through window displays and pull shelves from the wall." Deyd 17:51, 10 November 2006 (UTC)
- And the North-East corner has been ransacked also "You smash through window displays and pull shelves from the wall." Deyd 18:23, 10 November 2006 (UTC)
- Caiger has been completely taken and all survivors massacred ( http://img161.imageshack.us/img161/8006/caigermallhasfallen2006kb7.png ). A total, decisive victory for Shacknews and all zombies in Malton. The entirety of Malton is officially unsafe for any survivors in the wake of the battle.

November 9th, 2006 - The latest raid on Caiger Mall was a complete success. As of 10:43PM EST, the Northwest corner has been ransacked with over 100 zombies standing inside. The fall of Caiger is imminent. Bounty838 04:01, 10 November 2006 (UTC)

November 8th, 2006 - Caiger Mall is still under siege. Surprisingly, the Horde does not appear to be at their full strength. Many zombies were seen abandoning the Horde at dusk, murmering "GoWah ... GoWah ...". An explanation for this behaviour has not yet been determined.

November 1st, 2006 - Confusion reigns. The Horde is known to be operating in the area surrounding Caiger Mall, however they are not besieging the mall itself. Attacks seem to be alternating between the Mall and other facilities surrounding it, including libraries, Necrotech facilities, and video game stores that have recently begun taking DNF pre-orders. It is unknown whether this behaviour is random or the coordinated work of a brilliant tactician.

(UPDATE @ 20:50 EST, November 1st): The Horde have completely taken over The Latrobe Building. The zombies then ransacked the building in fury after discovering that the DNF pre-order forms were not sanctioned by 3DRealms.

October 26th, 2006 - It has begun. The Final Siege of Caiger Mall is underway, and Shacknews is proceeding at exactly the pace they wanted to. Harman Brainzzzz eaten and the first of an inescapably large amount of incursions was won. The Horde entered with about 1/2 it's strength and enjoyed aproximately 70 brains give or take a few.

October 24th, 2006 - Lull, lovely lull. Business at Ackland Mall is returning to normal, although many of the revivified survivors are now complaining about the lack of any beaches in Malton. The Horde's location is currently unknown.

October 17th, 2006 - The Horde have completely overrun Ackland Mall. Scattered reports indicate brief sightings of Ron Burgundy in the area among his dead and/or dying comrades. Bounty838 01:41, 18 October 2006 (BST)

October 15th, 2006 - The Horde, relentless in its pursuit of tender, tasty brains, followed the Blackmore survivors to Ackland Mall. The ever-classy Ron Burgundy anticipated this, and other alert survivors noticed the gathering storm front as the Shack Horde moved into Havercroft and paused to muster its full striking might. They quickly devised a survivor strategy of fading away to strike another day instead of holding the mall proper, concentrating on whittling away at the Shack Horde from low-key bases around the suburb. It is yet to be determined if this new approach by the harmanz will attenuate the slaughter, but one thing is for certain: The First Axiom of the Brainivorous Law dictates that the Shack Horde is after brains and appelflappen, not holding an empty mall.

(UPDATE @ 01:30 GMT, October 16th): The Horde ransacked one corner of the mall and turned another into a food court, though they left much of the buffet for later. Unofficial but reliable reports indicate that the Horde accumulated over 3100 XP in less than 20 minutes.

October 13th, 2006 - Less than 36 hours after beginning its assault, the Horde has cleared Nichols Mall. The first night of the siege tested the resolve of the defenders: of the 300+ who were there when the mall was first breached, only 150+ remained the following night. On the second night of the assault, and despite the survivor's concerted efforts to rebarricade the doors, the Horde broke through their defenses and laid waste to both the northeast and southeast corners of the mall. That proved to be opportunity enough for reinforcements, consisting of a detatchment of Ridleybank Resistance Front irregulars, to swarm in and clear the rest of the mall. And there was much appelflappen.

(UPDATE @ 15:50 GMT): The Blackmore Building has finally been ransacked. While no one group can claim all the glory, our Horde raiders have provided ongoing tactical support by denying Blackmore's defenders access to Nichols Mall. And by capturing and guarding the two Necrotech facilities nearest Nichols Mall, the Horde eliminated the possibility of humans organizing any significant counterassault to restore access to Nichols. And so, to everyone who thought Blackmore could never be defeated, the Horde has only this to say: "HAR HAR HAR HARMAN HAMBARGAHZ!"

October 9th, 2006 - the Horde has seemingly dissapated for the time being. Pole Mall is still under siege, but the zombie presence is down to the dozens rather than hundreds. All that is left of the Horde is a zesty scent of limes.

October 3rd, 2006 - the Horde overran Pole Mall in a coordinated attack which also knocked out zombie revival facilities in the area. Many of the new inhabitants were seen partaking of Appleflappen desserts in the food courts.

Late September, 2006 - the Horde was dispersing daily to spontaneously reunite at dusk, slowly moving west and south from the Darnell Building and into West Grayside proper. No group of survivors is left for long. Despite the oddly coordinated movements of the Horde, no specific pattern or goal to the attacks can be surmised. Despite the lack of goals, the Horde grows its ranks daily.

Early September, 2006 - the Horde pretty much laid waste to the areas around the Darnell Building, in the suburbs of Kempsterbank, Wray Heights, West Grayside and East Grayside

Groups We Have Eaten

The Remnants of Various Survivor Groups Holed Up at Giddings Mall
The Creedy Defense Force
The Residents of Stickling Mall
The PTT
The stuffy labtechs of the Whippey Building
The Residents of Bale Mall
The Abandoned
The Tasty Medical Staff of the YRC at The Whatmore Building
The entire populations of Chudleyton, West Becktown, East Becktown, Darvall Heights
The Residents of the "Survivor Stronghold" Caiger Mall
The Caiger Mall Survivors
The Patients of the Latrobe Building
The Residents of Ackland Mall
The Squatters in the Blackmore Building ending the Battle of Blackmore
Channel 4 News Team - Stay classy!
The Residents of Nichols Mall
Shoppers in Pole Mall and the soccer fans in Clapton Stadium
The Knights Templar

Noteworthy Conquests

Our Allies

Horde Raiders

Please Contribute!

This section is a work in progress. Shackers, please contribute to its development by removing any of your characters that weren't active within the horde.

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Shacknews

Contents

Zombie Special Forces

Shacknews Day (T)Raiders

Unique Traits

History

Groups We Have Eaten

Noteworthy Conquests

Our Allies

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