Suggestion:20070819 Museum fun
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20070819 Friends, Maltonians, Countrymen
03:24, 19 August 2007 (BST)
Suggestion type
Humor
Suggestion scope
Both
Suggestion description
When the REAL zombie apocalypse arrives (Oh it's coming), Near the top of my to-do-list is to fashion myself some armor. Not like the already-present Kevlar vest, but like scavenged corrugated steel and random rubble. The theory of course is that a zombie can't eat your brains while you're wearing a helmet. Zombies can't bite through metal. But that got me thinkin, why fashion my own armor when there's a perfectly good suit of recreated hoplite armor at my local history museum, horsehair plume on the helmet and all. Now that stuff is heavy, I know, but I feel that my life (and death) might depend on it.And that train of thought led me to giving UD a more... classical feel. Not animal sacrafice, but getting XP for delivering empassioned speeches, for coming, seeing, for whooping on some hapless plebian, for an excuse for men in skirts, and shouting 'THIS IS SPARTA!!!' without gettin looked at funny. And while we're there, the text system needs a revamping, so this is what I'm thinkin.
You are standing inside the Caesarian Forum. Blood and gore lie everywhere, and the sweet odor of death mix with fine perfumes and frankincense of an annihilated merchant's stall. The Vast doors have been fortified with Great Vigor. There is a century of 60 Fine Legionnaires survivors celebrating Life and the Gods. A Mysterious Zeus Box has been positioned here. The Auspices have been taken, and the Gods cry for Glorious Battle. The Courtyard has been adorned with mighty statues of Jupiter and Augustus and the Palladium and a great deal more reliquary, to represent our mighty success in Battle with the screaming Undead/Gallic Host. Someone has etched 'Flavius Scaevus is a shiftless knave and deserves to be thrown to the lions ' in red chalk on a wall.There are IV and I/II sets of entrails bestrewn in here. Since Your Last Epic Action:
-Biggus Dickus, having been routed by the enemy' cried: Steel yourself for Terrible Battle! The hour grows late, and the enemy approaches!
-Ronaldus Burgundianus, having approached, declared: Dear Friends, the time, having grown near, and We, having had our hand stayed by duty to this forum, may finally rejoice, for the Screaming Gallic/undead host draws near. This night, I go to battle not knowing if I shall live or die, and not caring for these either! All that I know is that it has been my honour to serve with you, noble comrades, these many months, and that those who die tonight are bound straight for the Elysian Fields for there is no better way to die than in Heroic Struggle! Yea, it IS a good night to die but better still to live, and to return home triumphant with the honors of a City bestow'd upon you and your families! Therefore, Henceforth, and with great Pride, I ask you, Shall we die In here tonight, Or shall we drive our foes before us? Decide for yourself, but keep in mind, having kept in your hearts these many months of service, MALTONIANS, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION? -An immense cry springs forth from the legion, having been moved with respect to their spirits, by the invigorating words of their Captain
-Scipio Maltonianus shouted: Behold, the enemy is at the fortifications! Prepare your weapons!
-The Gates Break
-Petra Qaestra spears A Zombie Gaul through the heart with a Trident... and again,... and again... and again.
-Terrible Battle ensues.
- A Zombie Gaul disarms Ronaldus Burgundianus, with respect to his limbs.
-Ronaldus Burgundianus cries, 'Great Tartarian Pluto that hurts!!'
-Castor Troianus cries, 'Fie, Great Captain, you have sustained an injury with respect to your arms!'
-You defenestrate the offending Zombie Gaul. It dies.
And so on. Isn't that more interesting?
Yes, yes it is. And funny too. However, I have to tell you that there is a seperate place for humorous suggestions. Humorous Suggestions. Go nuts man.--Seventythree 10:24, 19 August 2007 (BST)
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